Ryan 🥣 @ryanposting Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@jandakembangstw

@shmoal_my

@bokeplokalmalam

@NB__COUPLE

@writingcat

@stw_pdg

@RenaSager

@jfitzsimons

@zky442996530634

@wartiah31391641

@mamamomaaasim

@washingtonpost

@audbearEXO

@BellaChiiii

@jshfetus

@KariBek637126

@arhdom

@torgnytmaer

@AWNWMKE

@sotwecom

@bokeplokalmalam

@FhugvhFhug61299

@gheeseun

@asiaamoniqueeee

@codyishome

@CharIes209

@williamh44

@tetyjkt

@GSukhbirs698

@DenarAnggada1

@Aircharitable

@masa7340michi

@tetyjkt

@MajidDar

@mamoru_miyata

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@ryanposting

2 years

(Drinking a huge mug with 30 sleepy time tea bags in it) goodbye forevr

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3 years

I hate it when shit is unbeknownst to me

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2 months

Dreamt we had three slices of pizza left and we were both not hungry so my wife was like “we can just sell these”.

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2 years

Booing the paintings I don’t like at the museum

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3 years

Your honor I was in a funk that whole week

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2 years

(First day bird watching) That’s a that’s fuckin uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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3 years

(Really loud in a museum) yoo these go hard!

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7 months

Bro said tag yourself and picked the best car wtf

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@cutuphotdog

7 months

tag yourself I’m the carrot car

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3 years

(To Applebee’s bartender) nothing for me. Heard any good rumors lately?

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2 months

Almost done with this painting. But I can’t figure out what scary thing to put behind the door, ugh!! Artist’s block 😅

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8 months

Based on the amount of pottery fragments alone, the Roman Empire may be the clumsiest empire history has ever known.

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3 years

I’m showing you a 5 minute YouTube called “doggo goes beast mode” on my cracked iPhone in the break room. I’ve already seen it so I’m looking directly at you the whole time to see your reaction

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2 years

“This cbd ain’t shit” then 45 minutes later you’re eating a light lunch 🤣

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1 year

You can’t do this type of stuff anymore

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2 years

Every NPR show is called something like The Ways in Which and it’s intended audience is people who are addicted to email

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2 years

Sorry man I wasn’t planning on going to Scarborough Fair. Good luck tho

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10 months

Every Chipotle looks like near future dystopian cafeteria. I feel like I should be eating with a kind of fidgety dude who is like “2 chits for guac? Bullshit” and dies in the first act

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3 years

(Getting shot) oh that’s a Gun gun

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4 months

Seeing a huge bug is kind of like meeting a celebrity

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1 year

No way everyone has free will. Probably just me and a couple of my boys

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2 years

Your own. Personal. Brandon

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5 months

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2 years

Nice cautionary tale but I’m different

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2 years

They should have trick paintings in museums and if you’re caught appreciating them they shame you

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11 months

Lol

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2 months

Dreamt I was at a restaurant and ordered “the onion sampler”

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3 years

(Looking at the hot dogs on rollers at 7-Eleven and talking to the cashier): this is quite the operation you got going on here

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2 years

That movie Cars gets a lot of shit wrong

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1 year

You used to be able to win an iPad in this country

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3 years

Horse archer salary Entry level horse archer near me

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2 months

@stephenealon shut your damn mouth stephen

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2 years

Polish horror movie called The Lightbulb

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20 days

I’m at my wits’ beginning

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7 months

Y’all rockin with Gallon Man ⁉️

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10 months

The Slinky was almost not released in American stores because the development team thought its reluctant descent down the stairs would be “too poignant”.

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2 years

When I get a good hang out going I like to throw in a “this is fun” so everyone is on the same page

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2 years

If I saw the loch ness monster I would be so tranquil and chill about it that my demeanor would calm down anyone with me including the monster itself

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2 years

????

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24 days

Just spilled Smart Water all over my pants. I knew this stuff was out of my league

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1 year

Hey thanks for having me I gotta go yeah no i chugged one of your craft olive oils thinking it was a beer so I gotta head out, lovely place though.

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2 years

Clueless White guy orders McDonalds in perfect iambic pentameter, no one notices

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2 years

Getting into bird photography

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2 years

Surgery is probably a bit like Jazz

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1 year

Small talk has gotten more intense since I started gambling on the weather

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11 months

They’re adding Peter Griffin to chess

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2 years

When they finished designing the biohazard symbol they must’ve been like hell yeah we knocked this shit out of the park

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2 months

@sillydingdong This reminds me of another dream I had

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3 years

Novel : Beyond the ridge was an embankment near the inlet where the copse tapers off to reveal a massive viaduct. Me: wow it’s like I’m right there

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2 months

Just threw the painting in the garbage. Back to the drawing board 🤪

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1 year

I forgot I won tweet of the year last year

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4 months

Daughter ate a handful of sour cream thinking it was ice cream and she slapped the table like it was a bad shot at a bar

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2 years

Donald Trump holding a rally in Hyrule: Tingle, where’s Tingle?

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2 years

Y’all rockin with Butter Boy⁉️

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2 years

Looking at the designs on the lighters while the gas station guy rings me up

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24 days

(Looking at my memento mori) Oh, right

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2 years

Ousted from the birdwatching group after they discovered a slingshot and a tiny spit roast in my cargo vest

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2 years

Excerpt from my soft sci fi book: The spaceship was super complicated. I’m not going to get into it, but just know there was a lot going down with it. Anyway, the aliens had just regular guns…

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2 years

CCing my parents on my good emails

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2 years

Me (nodded off at desk) : Babylon is…good? It’s a…a good place. Teacher: Well that’s news to me… please… enlighten us *Entire Roots Reggae 101 class breaks out in laughter*

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2 years

Just saw some white guy act exactly as you’d expect

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2 years

Ancient people must have been so clumsy the way they were leaving pottery fragments everywhere

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2 years

Imagine smoking a blunt up in there

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2 years

(Millions of ants in a trench coat voice) do u have any music for bugs

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3 years

If I can smell you cooking dinner from outside your house I should be allowed in for a plate

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2 years

(Wearing YouTube shirt) you guys talking about YouTube?

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2 years

(Clearly incredibly angry after street magician does a card trick on me) ok, respect

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3 years

Me on deathbed: please burn all of my manuscripts, please don’t get them published after my death 😏 My closest, dumbest homie: ok *burns all of my manuscripts*

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4 months

Thought this was a butterflied pitbull at first

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@horseimage

4 months

two horses lying down one with its head laid on top of the other relaxing resting together

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3 years

Clowns don’t need to wear all that make up to be funny. Natural is better ❤️

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3 years

NPR correspondent named Lisa Brandnew Kia-Sorrento

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2 years

In early rap songs they had to tell you they were rapping.

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4 months

Clowns wouldn’t eat that. They’d eat cotton candy or something

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@ipodmacbook

4 months

bagel place had “cream cheese tomato pickle” on the menu and I thought ok maybe they know something I don’t so I got it. they don’t know shit. this is clown food

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11 months

Caught an anthropologist making field notes of my lifeways. Sprayed em with the hose

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3 years

Ancient Greek guy gets home from work sits down and looks at a vase depicting the Apotheosis of Heracles until it’s time for bed

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3 years

Going out into the woods to farm XP on squirrels before confronting my work bully

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4 months

I think I’ll get weird about driftwood when I’m old

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2 years

This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

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2 years

Waiter with demons: I’d recommend the brownie sundae, but I’ve made some bad choices in my life

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2 years

Garçon! Pardon me, but can you flavor blast this?

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3 years

Just licked these guilt free

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2 years

Daytime TV is wild. This is how Drew Barrymore reacted to an audience member saying that their mom makes her own pickles.

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2 years

This walk in the park is a piece of cake

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2 years

Why didn’t we listen to his message..,

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2 months

@SuisizeMe I'll definitely consider this! Although it's a little too conceptual for me

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2 years

(From my cursed tower) hi

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2 years

They're adding the full scope of human experience to Fortnite

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11 months

There’s like 999 people tops

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2 years

Regretting not purchasing the traumatized dog salt and pepper shakers

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3 years

Foolproof eh? *rings tiny bell that summons my fool*

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2 years

There had to be someone somewhere in pre Christian England making drum and bass on earthenware pots and animal skins and shit like that

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2 years

Ironing my basketball shorts to hang out on the couch

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3 years

I give all my highest access key cards to my sleepiest goons

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2 years

New white noise just dropped. All the homies napping to it

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2 years

Presenter: without further ado.. Guy who loves ado: aw, man

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3 years

My microplastics were low this week so I ate a credit card

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3 years

The peak of upper middle class wealth is having a garage fridge stocked with the worst sodas imaginable

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3 years

Eating bread at the circus. I love my country

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3 months

Night janitor at a business school writing “with” between “Save Money” and “The Best Deals” on the classroom blackboard

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2 years

I’m at the water cooler revealing the hidden depths of my character to my colleagues.

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2 years

Muddy guys used to clamp pipes @in this country. Now everyone’s computer

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