There's not enough happy stories on here, so here's one to warm your heart.
Last night I was riding back from Leeds, having supported the INCREDIBLE
@realclintonb
I ran out of petrol on the motorway for the first time in 23 years on the road. Pitch black Motorway....THREAD
I love cricket, watching, playing, always hoped my kids would. Listening to TMS today with my 8 yr old she said “are they both ladies?” I said “yes
@isaguha
and
@ejrainfordbrent
and they’ve BOTH won the World Cup” She’s going to her first practice tomorrow
#RepresentationMatters
Energy and compassion to help a wally at the side of the motorway who'd run out of petrol and ended up in a pretty dangerous situation. And Kym who'd been working on bikes all day, fixed another one for free at midnight. I couldn't and can't say thank you enough...more...
It get's better. They'd been travelling THE OTHER WAY on the motorway, seen me, gone down a junction and doubled back to rescue me, just because they thought it was the right thing to do. They were both absolutely lovely and I was completely overwhelmed by their kindness....More.
When you can’t find the dog in the middle of the night and after hunting for half an hour, you peel back the duvet and finally find it firmly wedged in oblivious sleeping husband’s arse crack.
#letsleepingdogslie
We had to say a final goodbye to this delightful old boy over the weekend. Family bedrock. Truly heartbroken, but I don’t regret one thing and would do it all over again. Love you Ron, you brought out the best in all of us. Rest in Peace my wolfy brother. X
Having filled up the bike and jump started it, they followed me for a while to check I didn't stall then headed back to Barnsley. There really are some amazing, kind and huge hearted people out there and Emma and Kym are those people. After a long day on the wards, she had the...
Out of nowhere, a white van pulls up and a lady jumps out, coaxes me down off the bank like a terrified woodland creature. Here husband gets out and opens the back doors and it's only a frickin motorcycle workshop van!!!
We put my bike in the back, it's all strapped in and they take me to a petrol station. So the fella Kym runs a motorcycle service centre in Barnsley and Emma is an NHS support worker at Northern General, helping people who are bed-bound and learning to walk on prosthetic limbs...
I couldn’t be prouder of my fabulous son and my wife
@HelenRutterUK
talking to
@TherealNihal
about living with a stammer and Helen’s beautiful book inspired by him.
I’ve always been a big fan of Nihal, the depth with which he listens is something we can all learn from.
🗣️"Mocking me behind my back but I can still hear them... makes me way more self-conscious"
12 year old Lenny tells
@TherealNihal
the worst thing people do in relation to his stammer and how it "drags me back to the bleak reality and makes me feel so down"
Listen via
@BBCSounds
MASSIVE ANNOUNCEMENT!
Due to the current situation my stand-up career has hit the skids so I’ve had to do A MASSIVE NATIONAL ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN!
(5 days a week I’m making online comedy just join go on! It’s a laugh!)
Happy mothers day to all the mums, step mums, foster mums and carers out there. And most of all to my lovely mum. They say a mothers love is blind and for that I will be eternally grateful. How she didn't leave me out every Wednesday next to the bins is beyond me. Love you Ma XXX
WHAT A RUSH!!!
Just dropped
@BrunoMars
Uptown Funk at my daughters 10th Birthday party and there was an IMMEDIATE outbreak of forward rolls on the dance floor.
I feel like
@davidguetta
My 8 year old daughter would like to raise the plight of the 3 toed Pygmy sloth to your attention. Please share this far and wide to help a young girl help an animal that at this rate she may never meet. X
@FloellaBenjamin
Happy Birthday Floella!
We will forever be your ‘Playchool Babies’
Although it must be said, you look much younger than me and I’m 46! (See pic)
All power to you, you are an absolute force for good in this world. We love you.
Xxx
Absolute nightmare calling recovery services, no one picking up, exceptionally high volume of calls etc etc etc, on a Wednesday night? perhaps they need to employ more people? Anyway after 30 mins to make contact it looks like I'm waiting another hour for assistance. No barrier..
To wait behind, completely exposed pitch black motorway and hazard lights fading on bike as battery drained, felt quite vulnerable and the stats of things ploughing into stuff on hard shoulder are bout 20 mins and there's no lights on that bit of motorway...
A well executed “Streak, capture and escape” really is one of the greatest spectacles in sport. So much to enjoy and metaphors aplenty about not giving up even when you’ve literally got nothing. Thanks to
@RexChapman
&
@GlennWool
for making my day. *Wipes tear from eye.
Thinking of asking if I can be a
@BBCCountryfile
presenter. I’m a big fan & what with living in the country, could walk to some of the shows, save the Beeb a few quid. I’ve been working on my presenting posture/leg height. Would love to know which you think is best, low/med/high?
Perhaps the rise in Veganism is to thank, but either way it’s nice to see animal welfare standards have got to such a point that the majority of cows now travel by helicopter.
How can no-one in a family need a piss and do the journey in a onner from London to Durham.
But during a half hour drive to check if you can see from Durham to Barnard Castle and the whole family needs a slash in the woods?
#Cumgate
It is with a very heavy heart I announce the retirement of ‘Old Blue’ They have been a faithful servant for the last 5 years, loyal, supportive a comfort and on occasion absorbent. They have perished beyond reasonable use and will be nobly consigned to the fire.
@CalvinKlein
Comedians
@edfringe
. If you’d like to be a guest on my late night Dirty Scrabble show, simply reply to this and I’ll compile a list. It’s great fun, relaxed and friendly and very silly. No prep needed & a nice way to promote your shows. Xxx
As usual I’m late to the party, but…Me and my wife just finished watching Alma’s Not Normal. Just brilliant
@sophiewillan
What a voice, what a story and what a cast. Breath of Fresh air. Honest, moving, heartbreaking and funny to the core. 🙌🙌🙌
Out on the town with
@HelenRutterUK
she’s essentially done all her makeup on using ‘testers’ in Superdrug, like a lady Ray Mears. Apparently that’s “fine”
I tried on one Rubber Jonnie and was immediately thrown out.
Last weekend me and my 14yr old boy played ‘War Pigs’ by
@BlackSabbath
to close our set at a local village festival. BEST FEELING EVER!!! Have a great weekend everyone x
This is one of the finest pieces of accidental perfect physical comedy I’ve ever seen. He should start a band with that fella who got stuck under the piano!
Huge respect to this gent for letting us see this beautiful moment!
Here's Emma and Kym and their lovely shining faces. And here's Kym's business card and I couldn't recommend both of them and what they do highly enough. Couple of Angels! XXXXXX
Amazing. After 21 years as a stand up hit all the feels today - sold out on a Tuesday. Standing ovation. 5* in
@ThreeWeeks
Should have involved the wife
@HelenRutterUK
years ago! Only here until the 18th.
@Gildedballoon
Sean Lock was absolutely hysterical. An absolute grand master clown. An outstandingly creative writer and performer and a lovely chap to boot. I’m deeply saddened to hear of his passing. Sending love and sympathies to his family, friends and colleagues. XXX
NSFW
Inexplicably run out of pants. So pulled 'White Lightning' out of retirement. They may have 'slight signs of wear' but they are performing superbly.
It's the sign of excellence when a player can leap off the bench after many months and compete at such an elite level.
Super proud of my amazing wife-partner.
Wrote it at the kitchen table and now she has a book deal.
What she’s doing with a borderline illiterate like me I’ll never know. So so chuffed for her!
If you get knocked down, get up again and keep making stuff. 🙏🙏🙏
Completely broadsided by
@laurenlaverne
interviewing
@ZoeTheBall
on Des Island discs
@BBCRadio4
If you've experienced, supported someone, or just want to understand depression and crucially, hope, Zoe's articulation is profound. Haven't cried like that in ages. Huge respect 🙌xxx
Hey
@jaydeadams
The don’t give dogs a cone after operations any more, so here’s Billy wearing his serious (medical) black jumper. He’s thinking about global issues here... and also wondering where his bollocks have gone.
I totally agree with you Lucy. I did the warm ups for The Paul O'Grady Show. It was live, he mucked about, always thanked us for warming up and went out of his way to entertain the whole team and the audience. Humble, kind, sharp & funny. R.I.P. Paul O'Grady.
I did some studio audience warm-up for Paul O'Grady's sitcom Eyes Down in 2003. He always went out of his way to big me up to the crowd so they'd treat me with respect. A truly lovely man. Thoughts with his family & friends. This young actress seems vaguely familiar?
I’m a Huge fan of this gent. He was a great representative of the people of Sheffield, is super bright, switched on, really friendly (I bumped into him once) he really cares about EVERYONE and I’m delighted he represents us so positively in Europe.
Homeward bound after week 3 of
@UpstartCrowPlay
rehearsals.
@RealDMitchell
is rocking the bard! The whole cast is kickething it in the bollingbrokes. I even managed to sketch male model Mark Heap at lunch while he wasn’t looking. He’ll be furious!
I just wanted to say a massive THANK YOU to everyone who got in touch about Ron. I've read every single one of your messages and they've been such a genuine help in processing the loss of my wolfy brother. It's a lovely reminder how many sweet and caring people there truly are X
Delighted to ‘announce’ (parp!) that I’ll be joining the Upstart Crow West End Run! Chuffed to bits. Now then, does anyone have a 2 or 3 bedroom place for rent in London Jan-April that accepts 2 dogs and a family of 4.
#FindBottomAHome
I work for the BBC and think
@BBCNaga
showed an unbelievable amount of restraint.
Trumps comments were straight up racist, what was she meant to say? “Here’s John with the weather”
@afuahirsch
puts it better than me. But it’s up to all of us to stand up to racism
‘This ruling legitimises racist opinions by suggesting they should be treated impartially’
@afuahirsch
The BBC ruled against presenter Naga Munchetty over comments on Donald Trump.
Dozens of BAME broadcasters are calling for the BBC to reconsider.
According to carbon dating me and
@HelenRutterUK
have been together for around 20 years, but today we are definitely married for 10 years! Which is tin/aluminium apparently. Either way happy anniversary to this gorgeous lady and I crafted her with this platter to wall-mount. X
There is no normal. Everyone is different. We are all unique. And that’s what makes us all special.
Your life’s mission isn’t to fit into a box...
As I was just saying to this years carrot harvest.
#BeYourOwnCarrot
The BBC is revered around the world. Worth 10 condos of your time to sign this and ping it on x
Nadine Dorries : Save the BBC: oppose the abolition of the license fee - Sign the Petition! via
@UKChange
Raising a glass in the lakes with
@HelenRutterUK
for all the clowns seeing
@edfringe
through til the 26th! We’ve had a ball and can’t wait for 2020! It really struck me this year how great the audiences are. From all over the world, they could have gone to Tahiti, but chose Ed👍
What a joy
#StathLetsFlats
is!
@JamieTonight
and
@Natasia1andonly
are just brilliant! So subtle, unique and amazing clowns.
Whole cast are great. It’s such treat to have been doing & watching comedy for years, and a show like this comes along that just turns you into a fan! 🙏
Heartbroken for you Ed. Sending so much love to you and your whole family and friends. Every second I spent in his company was a treat. He lit up our daft business helped so many clowns find their voices. And he just lit up life in general. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Paul Byrne was a lot of things to a lot of people. A talented comedy director and stand up fixer, he was loved by so many.
But to me, he was my pain-in-the-arse little brother and I will miss him so much.
RIP Paul Byrne 1977-2022
For my money this fella is one of the most consistently funny people British Comedy has turned out in many a year, scripted, off the top of his head or on the page AND a really nice bloke to boot. Some people make you sick eh!
Dear
@BulbUK
I understand that electricity prices go up because Gas is used to generate electricity in our country, but as 100% of your electricity is from renewables, why does the cost of your electricity keep going up?
@laurenlaverne
Huge fan of you on 6 music and Desert Island discs. Haven’t read the article and won’t do either. The JCC one a few weeks back was one of the best pieces of radio I’ve heard in donkeys years. X
One of the weirdest things about doing my tax return is how a til receipt can activate the memory of a disappointing sandwich eaten in the car on route to a gig in Scunthorpe at the M18 services followed by a 15 minute sleep (also in the car) from over a year ago.
Right
@BBCCountryfile
I also do stuff by rivers and babbling brooks and the like. I can use either leg for emphasis or both if extra amphasis is needed, as these shots taken yesterday clearly prove. Again, I can walk to most of the programmes as I live in the countryside.
Me and
@TimDownie1
are unofficially on standby if anyone on
@loosewomen
comes down with the dreaded lurgie. We're just next door in our tights and puffling pants.
#upstartcrow
Had a ball supporting
@joelycett
last night, go see his tour show it's an absolute corker! We had a proper lads night after the show, ended up in the after show at "The Real Full Monty"
Into Comedy?
Is anything off limits?
How would you feel if your life was turned into a joke?
@edfringe
1-18th August.
I think it’s the best show I’ve taken up there.
Nominated for best production at
@buxtonfringe
@isaguha
@ejrainfordbrent
Hey Isa. Thanks so much for replying! I just showed my kid and she was really, really chuffed!
Brilliant work on all your commentary, it’s been a real highlight of the summer and will no doubt be inspiring loads of young people to play the game.
X
Couldn’t be more thrilled for my crazily talented wife. She wrote this book at the kitchen table, sent it out, it got picked up and now has a glowing quote from one of the most loved children’s authors of recent years. I couldn’t be prouder of her.
@HelenRutterUK
x
Jacqueline Wilson loved my book! If you think you might like it check this giveaway out! Now, can I just sit and read this quote for the rest of the afternoon please?
Absolute pleasure to do this and thanks so much for the full support regarding 'Pant Cage UK' from the entire
@Haveawordpod
team. There's also a new UNLIKELY WEIGHTLIFTERS podcast with me and
@tomwriggleswort
out now wherever you get yours!
#haveaword
xxx
🚨 NEW EPISODE OUT NOW 🚨
The hilarious and all-round top guy
@robrouse
was our guest this week, for another bumper-packed episode. Don't miss it! 🔥
Watch here 👉
Well bust my bollingbrokes! The new series of Upstart Crow will start on Wednesday 29th August at 8.30pm on
@BBCTwo
Also, both series one and two plus last year’s Christmas special will be available on the BBC iPlayer from tomorrow for the next 6 months. Get your tights on!
R.I.P. Jeremy Hardy. I was captivated as a kid, watching his low key ramblings from the boom operators seat on Saturday night live. That gentle style of his allowed him to talk about such weighty subjects with so much depth, humour and truth. An Iron fist in a velvet glove.