It’s so fake that Sunday is the first day of the week. Like Sunday is clearly the last day of the week it’s the last day of the weekend!!!!! Monday is obviously day 1 and Sunday is obviously day 7. Thank you for coming to my TED talk
The worst part about having fraudulent charges on my card was the bank reading me my other charges. She was like “did you spend $18 dollars at Chick-fil-A?” and I had to take a good long look at myself
Going to humanities classes with female professors right now is wild because they'll start discussion like "anyone else having a horrible fucking time right now?" and the whole class is just like yeah and then we don't do any work
Why is every company I apply to addicted to being like WE R FUN OK.... we drink BEER at WORK... do u have a dog??? a pupper?? doggo even?? bring it!!!! that would be so dope lol! we're not ur dad's startup... also u have to work 60 hours a week bc we're do-ers/dreamers
I will be so fucked if my supervisor ever finds the spreadsheet I use to remember the differences between the various white men in my office named Mike, Mark, and Matt
If thousands of you retweet this tweet at exactly 11:59:59 on December 31st I’ll go viral just as 2017 is ending and officially complete my New Years resolution to
#MakeAnnaViral
in 2017
Syllabus week is like half trying to guess if girls with phi sig water bottles are from Potomac or Jersey before icebreakers start. I’m like 6/10 so far
My ultimate nightmare is being the intern at some office and having to carry like 2 of those 4-cup containers full of hot coffee through the busy streets of a city (New York or LA, even). Imagine spilling 8 cups of coffee. Yes this tweet is a flex that I know that 2x4 = 8
Ok yes that one guy cut off his arm when he was trapped on a mountain but I’ve personally attended 70% of my classes this week. The human spirit is really unbreakable isn’t it
I feel like "landlord" is way too dope of a name for just like a person who owns an apartment. If you're a landlord you should have a small territory at least
Metro needs to be open later than 1 am this is June it’s literally homophobic. In 2015 you could be 18 and drunk at town danceboutique and safely on the train home at 3 a.m. it’s kind of like why did I even bother voting blue I’m a single issue voter
Applying for writing jobs is wild bc my resume is a napkin that says “BA in English 🤗” and my cover letter is me reciting the alphabet (hard bc the keyboard is NOT in order) and these two things for some reason are not convincing corporate America to take a shot on lil ole me 😔
If everyone on campus could please stop wearing long sleeves and carrying tiny little backpacks that can’t possibly fit notebooks/a laptop that would be great, thanks
@carseatheadrest
The Way You Look Tonight by Sinatra / Chateau Lobby
#4
(in C for two virgins) by Father John Misty / Take Care by Beach House / Bright Whites by Kishi Bashi
My mom just delightedly exclaimed that “Lady Gaga is an Aries too!!” and now she’s listening to Ella Mai in the kitchen I think she might be a millennial
Now that I have a bachelor’s degree I finally feel qualified to start watching Vanderpump Rules! Thank you to everyone who has supported me on this journey 💛
Setting at my desk blasting Chainsmokers in my headphones to drown out my coworkers talking about renovating their kitchens and picking their daughters up from lacrosse practice. This is 22