Red Richardson @redrichardson1 Twitter profile

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

A man just spent 45 billion on this

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Stop 👏 asking 👏 comedians 👏 to do zoom gigs in exchange for exposure 👏

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Wheres my Bugatti?

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Some of the revelations in Prince Andrews new audiobook are absolutely shocking. SOUND ON!

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Edinburgh Fringe is going as planned. Landed 3 sitcoms, found 50 quid on floor took it to casino made 5k then bumped in to Netflix CEO Derek Netflix, told him my shark bit and he signed me up for a 3 special deal. Martin Scorcese in tonight- will probs get a movie deal. Thanks.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Dry January made me fat.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

6 years

Piers is 💯 correct here, James Bond would never do this! I haven’t been this let down since I saw Daniel Radcliffe on the Tube - end up screaming ‘USE YOUR BROOMSTICK’ at him till I passed out.

Piers Morgan

@piersmorgan

6 years

He’s not carrying it, that’s my point. He’s using an emasculating papoose. James Bond would never use a papoose to carry his babies.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

“I took Harry’s virginity and I’d do it again”

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Surely a nuclear bomb can’t be activated by one red button. You’d like to think you have to confirm you’re over 18 then identify which image features a tree before you can get cracking

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Say what you want about Andrew but I don’t see Meghan donating 12 million pounds to sex trafficking charities 🤔🤔

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

My comedy special is out today- please watch and share

The Red Richardson Special (Full comedy special)

This is my first comedy special. If you like it please share it.#standupcomedian #standupcomedy #standup #special

www.youtube.com

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

For anyone that’s had to cancel a holiday because of the pandemic.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Absolutely chuffed to announce I’ve joined the brilliant team at @edfringe .

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

@joshweller This can’t be real ?

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Turned up wasted at my gig last night, ended up vomiting on the bookers dog, tried to crowd surf when on stage but misjudged the strength of the elderly couple in the front row- ambulances were called. Promoter has now barred me from the gig! CANCEL CULTURE IS VERY REAL FOLKS!

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Wanna feel old? The battle of Hastings was 956 years ago..

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

5 years

Really regret cancelling my WIFI now.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Is it immoral to order a deliveroo in this weather?

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

Bit of stand up for people who are scared of sharks (everyone)

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

The way the Edinburgh fringe is going soon only oil barons will be able to afford it. Next years newcomer winners will be a improv sketch group from the Saudi royal family called Oil, arms and no hog.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Tv show idea Comedians in Ubers getting angry about the state of the industry to drivers from war torn countries Tv people dm me pls

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

@jaydeadams Be nice to the most incompetent person in the room, cause one day they will be your boss

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Prince Harry Call Oprah again...

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

I am sure Zelenskyy is a good guy but I once drove him back from a gig in Portsmouth (he overran by ten mins) after he refused to chip in for petrol, called me a hack and shoved a half eaten prawn sandwich in my glove box- that I cannot and will not forgive.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

When Kanye released 'The College Drop Out' Pete Davidson was 11, every time I see a child now my first thought is 'am i going to have to decapitate a plasticine version of this little fuck head when he steals my wife in 15 years'

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Nigel's are dying out.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Apologies to anyone who receives a letter in the post from me asking if you're awake, I was hammered last night and shouldn't be allowed near stamps in that state.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

6 years

Crap week to finally nail the moonwalk.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Fat men over 50 watching football

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Tonight is the opening night of my Edinburgh Fringe run. It's on every night @ThePleasance at 9.55. Please tell as many as people as you know!

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

5 years

Flying with Ryanair... #ryanair #holiday @Ryanair

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

There's a pandemic on and we might be entering world war 3, but according to my phone I have been listening to my headphones a little to loud.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Most of comedy is basically sitting in green rooms whilst someone whose clearly on the spectrum tells you that they think another comedian is on the spectrum

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Anyone know of any covid friendly nightclubs? Got a hell of a fever but really fancy a boogie for some reason ?

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

Spare a thought for @JeffBezos , the only guy whose killed it in the last year and yet he has to deal with the entire world being negative around him. Must be a real buzz kill.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

My podcast has been included in the @guardian 50 funniest podcasts lists!!

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Just seen Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe playing mini golf with Pete Davidson.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

FAT MAN VS MAN WITH SIX PACK. (small clip from "The Red Richardson Special" out on you tube on 29/01/23)

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

I am going to The Edinburgh Festival this year with my new show "Shots Fired" hope to see some of you there! @ThePleasance every day at 9.55.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Guy just came up to me and said yesterday he was rock bottom cos he was broke and his gf left him. Then he saw my show last night- invested in Bitcoin and is now a millionaire and engaged to v top model from Hollywood. Come to my show @PleasanceComedy 9.55 pm

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

My 9 year old nephew challenged me for a game of fifa. I’ve not played in a decade- he was so cocky. Destroyed him 6-0, experience beats youth every single time.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Dropping my comedy special on you tube at 8pm tonight 🔥🔥🔥🔥

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

5 years

Was anyone at prizm nightclub in Kingston in February ? I am the guy who threw a load of fivers in the air and called you all scum, could really do with that cash right now so please get in touch.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

If you have a celebrity profile and know a few John Lennon lyrics, please DM me, I’ve just had a really good idea that will be great PR and make a lot of people very happy.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Got four days to buy my mum a candle- stressed doesn't cover it.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

In 2015 I was robbed in the sytyf final. After years and 5k in lawyers fees i was handed irrefutable proof (a video of my set) that I probably did lose. To tonight’s finalists if you don’t win it’s over, this is your one and only chance to succeed in this business

NextUp - Live Comedy

@nextupcomedy

3 years

Well well well, if it isn't the week of the @SYTYFunny finals.. We're streaming the final LIVE from @Gildedballoon in Edinburgh on Thursday 26th! Get your streaming tickets here and find your new favourite comedian:

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Just booked next years accommodation for Edinburgh fringe. 5 rooms, tv credits preferred, 3k each. Dm me to snap up one of these bad boys. I raided my mothers savings to firm up this absolute steal so no time wasters please!

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

Got an idea for a joke about Prince Phillip not getting a letter from the queen, will probably take till tomo to structure so no one else steal my idea and pls bare with me, it's going to be so worth it i promise. x

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

5 years

When this all blows over I am going to buckle down and start a you tube channel.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

Porn hub should create a ‘not my parents’ category for the children of porn stars.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

1 year

Nothing 🔥

Daniel Kelly

@detoxdaniel

1 year

Men, what’s stopping you from dressing like this?

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

These vaccine passports better be blue

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

The Calm sleep app keeps me awake at night.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

The year is 2023. Matt Hancock is voted uks sexiest man, the public beg him to return to politics, unfortunately he has been cast as James Bond so can’t- his appearance on I am a celeb showed us how funny, charismatic and sexy he is. In Matts head this is possible.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Is Kevin Spacey still a good actor?

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Watch this tonight - I play a big fat baby

Ebdon Management

@ebdonmgt

3 years

Tonight! You can see fantastic @redrichardson1 performing his dream role in Stand Up Sketch Show at 10pm on @itv2 👶🍺🎉🙌

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Slid my tongue down the handrail on the Charing Cross tube escalators for the first time since March 10th 2020- feels great to be back

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

5 years

New app idea -Twitter, but we all throw our phones in the Thames and then beat each other to death in Trafalgar Square.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Paul Byrne was a brilliant director and a kind man. He helped me so much and we laughed a lot together- he made you feel better about yourself and always went above and beyond his call of duty to make sure he got the best out of you. He will be missed by so many. Goodnight Paul.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

I hate to be the latest comedian to jump on the mental health 'bandwagon' but today I was diagnosed with narcissistic sociopathic disorder, if anyone has ever seen me exploit people or torture animals in green rooms, hold your judgement, I am nuero diverse. Put me on tv. Thanks.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

takeaway ordered, feet up and The Jimmy Saville doc on the box- total bliss after a stressful week.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

WTF is Elon playing at? If had billions of pounds I would buy an island so I would never ever have to hear about twitter again.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

Fyre fest would’ve actually seemed fairly decent this year.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

Just saw Trump on the TV and I shouted ‘BYE BYE LOSER‘. Then I remembered 70 million people voted for him to run an entire country and I couldn’t get 50 people to watch me do comedy on 2 4 1 Tuesdays at the Edinburgh fringe. Might start drinking again.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Just seen Meghan Markle drinking a peroni outside a pizza express in egham wearing an Italy shirt- fuming doesn’t even cover it 🤬🤬🤬

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

A bunch of theatre types came to my show last night, ten mins in they jumped on stage and performed a skit from their own show. It bombed. Afterwards I saw them celebrating. The unearned confidence is genocidal. We must stop these people at all costs cause they will kill us all!

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Are sharks scared of us?

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

Would be pretty cool if the only way to catch corona would be by playing music from your phone loudspeaker on public transport, and instead of losing your taste and smell your head just exploded and no one in your bloodline was ever fertile again.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Gal Gadot is frantically calling all her famous friends to organise an ensemble performance of ‘lose yourself’ by Eminem for the people of Ukraine

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

I would’ve bought 45 trillion Fredos instead

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

1 year

Holly Willoughby is like an air stewardess on the death star.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

This is tonight @CamdenComedy . New jokes from @RosieisaHolt @finlaycomedy @LouTaylorTrash @_ednight . Get tickets for 2.50 with the promo code CHEAPERJOKES here…

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

was feeling myself so i came on here- normal service resumed. Feel like pure shit- thanks

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Really chuffed to announce that I am dropping my comedy special on instagram TONIGHT!

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Someone just pushed in front of me in the queue. My 4 year old niece said ‘you’ve just betrayed the values of the woman we’re all here too see’ then a corgi attacked him, literally ripped him to shreds. She would’ve loved this. RIP

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

It speaks volumes that Putin hasn't tweeted about international women's day

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

When their draws are full of missing people’s id’s and they wear their dead mums clothes whilst her body decomposes in the bathtub 🚩🚩🚩🚩

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

Was feeling pretty good today, then I remembered that there are 7 million smokers in the U.K all paying £12+ per pack. I couldn’t sell out a small theatre for the same price, so most people would rather suck cancer into their lungs than watch me do comedy. Makes me want a fag.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

Was supposed to get married in June, just had to cancel the whole thing, me and my fiancé got so upset I bought 24 stellas and the Gazza doc from my local gas station. Feeling a lot better, fiancée still deeply unhappy- but keeps muttering ‘everything happens for a reason’ -bless

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

Even though the economy is about to take the biggest nose dive in human history, it warms my heart to know that at least we will all still have twitter to prop each other up and boost morale.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Brilliant choice for the new head of the Ed fringe society.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

Imagine coming out of a four year coma in 2020, to discover that The BBC pay Vanessa Feltz 400k a year.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Doing a preview of my Edinburgh fringe 2023 show tonight at the we are funny project. Would really appreciate my fellow comics coming down to show support!

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

Edinburgh fringe 2021, I walk on stage- pour five coronas in a giant mug, vomit all over the stage then pretend to fuck a plastic bat. The crowd gives me a 40 min standing ovation and I win the comedy award. @NetflixIsAJoke dm me for first option on the special.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

1 year

If you still listen to Michael Jackson don’t judge me when re runs of ‘This morning’ come on randomly at MY house party at 1am.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

5 years

Not one to brag on here, but I’ve been keeping this under wraps for a few minutes now and am chuffed to announce I have been recruited to join the secret service. Always been a dream of mine and after years of being told I am not trustworthy I have finally been accepted. 😁😁😎👍

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

Doing a gig in Bernard Castle this weekend and just between us EYE have a very funny joke planned...can hear the applause already.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

3 years

This person should try crack

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

1 year

Not been on here for a while cos I’m focusing on my Edinburgh show. But I just wanted to say I will be bringing home the main award this summer. I see your dear dad and raise it by a molestation, body dysmorphia and a heart wrenching battle with dyslexia. You will not beat me!

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

Another person made unemployed by this horrible virus.

The Associated Press

@AP

4 years

BREAKING: Amazon says Jeff Bezos will step down as CEO of the company he founded nearly 30 years ago.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

Got out of my jacuzzi to check on the suckling pig I was roasting for myself, go back to find my martini had fallen off the side and into the swimming pool destroying my last pile of gak on its way. Cleaners not back till Tomo and dealers been busted. 2020 GO FUCK YOURSELF! 💔

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Really missing Captain Tom today tbf.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

Me to my parachute before I jump out of a plane.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

I am in the paper talking about how I was nearly Harry Potter

Edinburgh Fringe: He was almost Harry Potter, podcaster and comedian Red Richardson reveals all

Harry Potter may have made a household name of Daniel Radcliffe but it could have been very different. Edinburgh Fringe favourite Red Richardson was very nearly cast as the wizard, just failing to...

www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Been wanting to get this off my chest for a while now. There’s no easy way to say this but I did it. I shat on Johnny Depps bed. I was drunk and thought it was the quirky type of prank that would ingratiate me with him. I was wrong and I am so sorry!

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

4 years

Pretty worried about 6G tbh..

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

5 years

Two days off shoving a jar of mustard up my arse for online content...

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Still in the queue, no water for two days now- fainted twice, but I am still here, ready to pay my respects. The thought of bowing to that coffin is making me erect. Wish I wasn’t just wearing Speedo’s.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

2 years

Just told my mum I was dying as an April fools, she just said "oh thats a shame" and carried on reading. I'm now sat under a bridge, tears streaming down my face, entire life ruined. Be careful with your pranks out there guys, its all fun and games till its not.

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Red Richardson

@redrichardson1

6 years

How can they kill off Khalesi and Jon Snow In ep one? 😢😢😢😡😡😡 devastated.

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