You know how "your majesty" is for kings/queens and "your highness" is for the princes?
Make it SBI
Phil kicked the bucket and Techno and Tommy only find out when a servant comes into the library, clears his throat and addresses Techno with "Your majesty-" for the first time :3
"Hypothetically speaking, how does one start to present as a piglin?"
That was never a good start to a conversation.
Techno slowly lowered the book he'd been reading, red eyes focusing on his little brother who seemed to be rather nervous.
Just very tired, overworked single-Dad Phil accidentally picking up the wrong child at the playground. Wilbur thinks it's awesome to finally have a brother 'cause surely Phil did that on purpose.
Cryptid!Techno is kinda like ????? But doesn't complain.
HIS MOTHER HOWEVER-
Just Tommy accidentally summoning a demon while making himself some food. He's got headphones on, trying to sing along to a song in a different language and somehow ends up pronouncing the summoning spell perfectly.
He turns around, stopping when his eyes met bright red ones.
Imagine toddler!Tommy following big brother Techno around everywhere.
It's adorable, Phil and Wilbur are cooing over him behaving like a duckling.
It only becomes an issue when he wakes up at night because he heard Techno wake up and leave his room.
I want you to imagine vampire Phil having picked up toddler human Tommy who was left behind by his parents as some sort of payment for a debt they owed Phil. And because he's a gremlin Phil immediately adopts him and then has to explain to him that he can't eat apples or
Hero!Wilbur and vigilante!Tommy but they both have a day off. You know, just to relax and not fight anyone (or each other) for once.
They meet in the supermarket. In civilian, of course.
Tommy recognises Wilbur and immediately throws an orange at him, then dips.
Tw, slight description of injuries
"Are you an angel?"
The voice of the boy Phil was trying to save took him off-guard. He hadn't expected him to be awake still, especially not after being buried under lots of rubble from the collapsed building.
Regular teen Tommy but he's got major anxiety and has to talk himself into taking phone calls for hours.
When he finally got the courage, the voice that picks up is decidedly not the nice secretary from the doctor's office.
"Full name and approximate time where they'll show up-
Abandoned VampFledgling!Tommy who is so deep in his instincts that his only goal is to get to a nest. Any nest.
Cue vamp SBI who just got home to some random fledgling huddled up in their nest. They're irritated for like five second until they hear his small, subconscious purr
Just vampire!Techno begrudgingly adopting VERY clingy human toddler Tommy, talking about almost separation anxiety kind of clingy.
Bro has to put him in a baby harness with blindfold and earmuffs because he couldn't leave Tommy alone to go hunt.
Intimidation factor ruined.
So, what I just read. Cats meow at humans cause they think we're dumb deaf babies, like kittens and it's the only way to communicate.
Naturally.
Catshifter!Tommy meowing at Wilbur constantly. Wilbur thinks it's cute...until he realises Tommy is insulting him the whole time.
This is a baby hummingbird apparently. He looks blind because of all the fluff. So uh.
How babyHummingbird!Tommy accidentally got himself adopted by Crow!Philza by continuously chirping at the man until he got food because he mistook him for his actual dad.
Phil folded quickly
AU where Tommy gets kidnapped by the Syndicate for ransom as his parents were pretty influential and rich people and the villains needed money. (Because why rob a bank when you can just bother some random kid?)
Just Tommy gaslighting vampire Techno that he could turn him back into a human with one bite. Techno indulges his stupidity for a bit, then actually gets gaslit and goes crawling to Phil like
Wolfshifter!Techno who refused to take any breaks ever since picking up pup!Tommy so Wilbur decides to take measures into his own hands
It takes like five pets behind his ears to make Techno go boneless. Which unfortunately meant he fell straight on Wilbur.
Phil is amused.
Newly presenting fledgling!Tommy in denial: "I do not have instincts."
Phil, arching an eyebrow: "Sure you don't, mate." *Proceeds to croon at Tommy.*
Result: cuddly baby bird very succumbed to the very instincts he definitely doesn't possess.
Trick or treat Halloween AU
Tommy's dressed as one of these lesser known cryptids from monster horror Stories. Nobody recognises him, until he rings at the Craft's door.
You'd think humans would be a bit more observant, notice the small imperfections in their expressions.
Techno just stared at the young raccoon, suspecting it to be a shifter. He'd noticed the cub following him almost immediately, they weren't as sneaky as they thought they were. Nothing would escape the sharp senses of a werewolf.
Saw a video on tiktok earlier about a dog bringing home a baby raccoon and now I can't stop thinking about werewolf SBI and raccoon Tommy.
Listen, Tommy hadn't exactly planned for his night to go like this.
Villain Technoblade yes? Big ass scary brute, dangerous, allegedly killed a few corrupt politicians before, robbed a couple banks, set some government buildings on fire. The usual, really.
Well. He got captured. L bozo.
Vampires being from different times where a cold was deadly.
Now imagine vamp!Phil as new foster parent and foster!Tommy. Bro catches a cold. Phil panics and immediately turns him.
Techno and Wilbur meanwhile losing their minds trying to explain everything to social services.
BirdShifter!Tommy who ends up being so fluffy and round to the point he gets stuck in the entrance of the birdhouse Techno set up in the tree in front of his house.
Techno is rather confused by how grumpy the bird he freed is. No fr, why is it constantly attacking his finger?
I feel like Tommy would be the kind of person to enter Techno's room, stare at him and go "You're breathing manually now."
And then dip. Just to annoy him cause brothers.
//Mentions of abuse and stabbing at some point during the thread//
Bedrock bros soulmate AU where everyone has one and Tommy found out who his soulmate is.
And he absolutely hates his guts.
Burglar!Tommy but he doesn't steal anything and only moves every object a few inches to the left, then hides in the vents for like a day to watch the chaos unfold before dipping (free entertainment).
Techno has never bumped into more furniture and it's making him lose his mind.
"Fledglings," Phil whispered softly, "are the most precious creatures in the world. They are meant to be loved and cherished. To be protected by their Sires and coven."
Just Tommy being very ill and walking home from a Nightshift with a very high fever.
Vamp!Techno deems that as perfect opportunity to have a quick, easy snack. Instead has to handle with a feverish teen who is 99.9% sure he's a hallucination.
Saw a video on tiktok earlier about a dog bringing home a baby raccoon and now I can't stop thinking about werewolf SBI and raccoon Tommy.
Listen, Tommy hadn't exactly planned for his night to go like this.
This. Sucked. That was all Tommy could think about, walking down the street as snowflakes fell on his head. His nose was running and he could feel the biting cold on his face.
When Tommy woke up he felt...nothing. Actually, no, scratch that. He felt something, mainly nausea and a bit of dizziness. And his body felt a little...heavy? His head a little fuzzy? Huh.
But other than that, he felt fine.
Tw, slight description of injuries
"Are you an angel?"
The voice of the boy Phil was trying to save took him off-guard. He hadn't expected him to be awake still, especially not after being buried under lots of rubble from the collapsed building.
Techno had never believed in soulmates, refused to believe that /everyone/ had one. Phil didn't have one, after all.
(He did. He just never told him who (what) she was.)
"Because you fucking left me to suffer!" He spat, angrily glaring up at the elf, and yes, he had to look up because that prick just had to be taller than him.
With a soft sigh, Techno put an arm around Tommy's shoulder and then pulled the teen towards the hallway and his room.
"Let's have that particular talk in your room, kid," he chuckled, "and then we'll fix whatever weird hoard-den situation you have going on inside there."
Have we ever thought about a Dadbur AU where some spiteful neighbour calls the cops on him and eight year old Tommy for child abuse as a sort of revenge for some minor inconvenience Wilbur caused them?
They get a visit from the cops and CPS and Wilbur is nervous the entire time
Soulmates who feel each others pain (and pain only). Add immortal Techno who throws himself into reckless things for fun/money/cause he's bored.
All while not knowing his very mortal soulmate Tommy suffers through the pain of dying. Constantly. :)
Demons being able to hear all the mispronounced versions of their summoning spells but only accepting those who didn't butcher the Latin words.
Like, imagine swiping through ao3 tabs and scrolling past the fics that don't fit your standards.
"Because you fucking left me to suffer!" He spat, angrily glaring up at the elf, and yes, he had to look up because that prick just had to be taller than him.
//Mentions of abuse and stabbing at some point during the thread//
Bedrock bros soulmate AU where everyone has one and Tommy found out who his soulmate is.
And he absolutely hates his guts.
No thoughts, just burglar!Tommy breaking into a random house and coming face to face with the number one villain!Techno who was in the middle of gearing up for a heist.
Tommy has no self-preservation skills so he instantly makes fun of the villain's face.
Human!Tommy with dyed hair and alien!SBI
Everything is going well, they joke, laugh, work. Just chill together.
Until his dye starts to fade and all of them freak out, worrying over his health. It's not normal for human hair to change colour this drastically
It's a long talk
And the employee is confused and scared shitless because there is this small little sunshine child asking for BLOOD in a supermarket with all innocence while a bloodthirsty and very protective vampire hovers behind him with a look on his face that says
sandwiches when his stomach rumbles as he needs to drink blood to survive.
Now imagine seven year old Tommy nodding and then pulling him to the store (Phil is confused the entire time) and then Tommy stopping some random employee like "excuse me, where can we buy some blood?"
Techno just stared at the young raccoon, suspecting it to be a shifter. He'd noticed the cub following him almost immediately, they weren't as sneaky as they thought they were. Nothing would escape the sharp senses of a werewolf.
"Hand me the coffee, please?"
"I'm not giving you coffee, you're already a hyperactive gremlin. No need to have you bounce off the wals on a caffeine-high."
AU where Tommy gets kidnapped by the Syndicate for ransom as his parents were pretty influential and rich people and the villains needed money. (Because why rob a bank when you can just bother some random kid?)
"Why do you want to know?" He asked, practically staring his brother down.
"School project."
Yea. Right.
After a moment of intense silence, he decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
"Hypothetically, individuals will develop a sort of intense intolerance to the cold," Techno said, eyes never once leaving his brother who was avoiding eye contact.
Suspicious.
Now just picture comparably tiny human Tommy munching on a sandwich in the living room while demon Techno tries to carefully sit down, hoping to avoid breaking the sofa.
Wilbur is gonna loose his marble once he gets home.
Soulmate alien type of AU where Tommy assumes his soulmates are dead cause his strings lead straight into the sky. Kinda hurts but whatever, it is what it is.
Cue massive confusion when three aliens Crashland in his garden, their strings connecting with his.
"Clingy monster" but literally.
Cryptid!Tommy seeing this random guy in his thirties struggling to bring groceries home and decides this is peak dad material and just latches onto him
Phil meanwhile is terribly overwhelmed with whatever species child decided to cling to his leg
"General discomfort starts at temperatures below 40°. We start shivering at below 25° and go into a sort of survival mode when we're exposed to even colder temperatures for longer," he continued, the book now resting on the coffee table.
No thoughts, just vampire!Wilbur and human!Tommy being neighbours.
Tommy is oblivious to Wilbur's condition and has tried out baking recently, bread specifically. And he's a huge garlic fan.
He has a habit of baking way too much for just himself.
Tommy was standing in the doorframe, nodding along to what he said. The sweater he was wearing looked awfully like the thick knitted sweater he'd been missing during winter.
"Uh, noted. What else?" Tommy asked, fiddling with the sleeves while still not looking at Techno at all.
His eyes roamed over the boy's appearance briefly, taking mental note of the rather odd clothes. If the winter sweater wasn't odd enough, the kid was also wearing three pairs of socks and fuzzy pyjama pants.
It was mid June.
If he didn't know any better he'd say there was a freshly presenting piglin hybrid in their house who had yet to learn control over their instincts.
He knew better, of course.
"Nope!" Tommy said quickly, too quickly.
Techno snorted, "You're sticking with the 'school project' excuse then?"
"It's not an excuse!"
"So if I were to go into your room I wouldn't find a poorly-built den and every golden object that we own in a hoard?"
There were exactly two explanations for this.
Techno arched an eyebrow. "Do you have a fever? You're usually whining about the heat by now."
Tommy grimaced and then coughed awkwardly, "Nah, just a bit cold."
"Are you sure?" His brother pressed, getting up from the sofa and then immediately pressed his palm against the teen's forehead, "you're a little warmer than usual."
Which would be completely normal for piglins.
Techno rolled his eyes in a fond manner and then chuffed once, just to prove his point. His brother reacted with his own chuff immediately which sounded a little more high-pitched and rough.
School project. Right.
Techno hummed thoughtfully and then made his way over to the kitchen. There was a good way to test which of the two possible explanations was correct, "We're getting you a gapple."
Tommy's eyes widened immediately, "No it's fine!"
His brother's mouth opened and closed with no words coming out. It was a little funny, seeing the kid utterly speechless when he usually never shut up and talked off their ears.
"No?" Tommy eventually managed to say, though it wasn't really convincing.
"Not taking any chances, kid," his brother said, getting just a little irritated when Tommy tried to hold him back, "something's definitely off, you never pass an opportunity to get gapples."
"I just don't feel like having one right now!"
Just saw a class accidentally leave two kids at the bus station cause bus closed the door and drove off.
Make that SBI, Tommy is stranded in the middle of nowhere and these three random guys help him home. Or their definition of home, idk you decide
This was the by far dumbest shit Siren had ever done. As if hunting that one obnoxious vigilante wasn't already enough of an inconvenience, he now also had to fight him in a literal flat.
Right.
Techno ignored his brother and opened the cabinet, expecting to find at least twenty since they'd just stocked up on them. Instead, he was greeted with an empty space.
Techno has a blank look on his face as he opens the cabinet door, revealing a very asleep toddler with around five half-eaten snickers bar surrounding him, chocolate covering almost the entirety of his face.
It's going to be one hell of a sugar rush to deal with when Tommy's up
Techno then went on to open the other cabinet, expecting to find the small amount of golden carrots they kept to be there.
It was also empty.
He then checked the cutlery, and Io and behold, the golden forks he always used were missing.
Three years. It had been three years since that pest took his brother.
Three years worth of non-stop training, to the point where even the board of the hero association got worried. Techno was fine, he didn't need rest, refused to even. Not until he avenged his brother.
Or: how Tommy accidentally calls a scary hitmen agency and gets himself on a target list by switching up the digits.
No, this is not based on me trying to call someone and ending up with the wrong person on the line, I don't know what you're talking about.
This whole thing about heroes fighting villains, yes?
Techno wins, of course. The young hero was nothing compared to his strength. But he gave him a proper fight, so he might as well give him something back, a last wish before the killing blow.
He didn't expect it to be a hug.
"On a scale from one to I'm-about-to-kidnap-him, how attached are you?"
"Phil, I'm literally signing up for foster care just so I can get him in the nest."
"Say no more."
"Yea, I know. I won't bother you too much, don't worry," he said as he pulled out his textbook, wrinkling his nose at the chapter he'd have to memorise for the exam.
He glanced up at them, thinking.
"Hey, do you guys know algebra by any chance?"
Foster AU where kid Shape shifter Tommy (he's like 8) is somehow convinced his new foster family hates him and runs away to see if the Crafts care (spoiler alert, they fucking do). He returns as a Police officer to see just how much they care.
Tommy had no idea how the three aliens he had come to call family were doing it. It's been about 24 hours now that he's last slept and while he did have major issues with insomnia still, he could feel himself being exhausted to the core.
The demon is huge, actually has to bend down a little so as to not hit its head on the ceiling. A dark shadow-like veil hides most of its appearance, only revealing the terrifying tusks and piercing eyes as well as a set of claws on each hand.
They stare at each other silently.
TW: mild depiction of injuries
There was someone following him. Again. Techno knew exactly who it was, had seen the masked face of the vigilante more than once.
The kid, because that's what he was and Techno refused to listen to anyone say otherwise, got on his nerves.
Truth serum bedrock bros with dadnoblade and begrudgingly accepting fledgling Tommy.They'd had difficulties communicating properly for ages now, Tommy constantly disrespecting Techno (his new sire) and pushing his buttons
The wind was cold as Tommy stood and watched the figure of his brother drawing closer through the snow storm. He smiled, waiting patiently and watching as the blue cloak was pulled tighter around the piglin's form.
Techno stares back, waiting for the mortal to speak. For the boy to give him his request, to make him do something in exchange for his soul.
The weird "crown" the kid wore was pulled off. Hm, Princes looked different from what he remembered.
Whatever.
So when Techno gets the munchies and grabs a snack from one of the kitchen cabinets, half asleep, Tommy follows.
Techno doesn't notice, mindlessly chews on the snickers bar before he goes back to bed. In the morning, he doesn't even remember getting up at all.
Tommy, meanwhile, decides that maybe it wouldn't be wise to speak to whatever that thing was. He'd like to keep his life. Or soul. Or blood. Or whatever it was that the thing would take if he said something wrong.
So instead of greeting the demon like a normal person would.
Techno is confused but accepts the weird, floppy bread and...whatever it is that was smeared in-between. It smells... adequate. No poison, at least.
Strange. Had human customs changed? Was this mandatory now? He'd have to ask Phil about that later.
"Phil...if Tommy bit me and I now suddenly find pancakes appetising again.....does that mean I'm human????" *Insert wailing.*
Phil's so fucking done with everything
Tommy walking home in the snow after a hunting trip with Techno, slips and faceplants in the snow.
Then proceeds to just...not get up. Why should he? The snow is kinda nice yk.
Techno has to pull him up by the back of his coat like a toddler.
Side note, I FUCKING HATE SNOW
He does, however, notice a distinct lack of child in Tommy's room when he went to check up on him. He doesn't find him in Wilbur's or Phil's room either, so naturally, he starts to panic a little.
They start searching the house for the toddler.
Their questions get interrupted by a loud snore. Which is a little confusing considering their in the kitchen. And it sounds suspiciously as if it's coming from the cabinet.
Saw a WP on Tumblr about people having wings that grow the more loved they are.
So naturally.
Orphan!Tommy heavily in denial about the love he receives from his new foster family. Only notices when he's suddenly stuck in doorframes cause his wings are too big.
Fluff ensues :)
Next, full amount is to be paid once the hit is confirmed." A rather deep voice said, almost too nonchalant.
It takes a moment for Tommy to figure out just what exactly he just heard, and when he did, his fingers have never pressed on the "end call" button faster.
Cashifter!Tommy and human Wilbur. Tommy gets clingy at 5ish am and decides that Wilbur's chest is the best place for a nap, thus starting to make biscuits there.
Wilbur complains the whole time, especially when Tommy curls in on himself purring. He's, of course, not pushed off.
This wasn't his first rodeo by any means, hell it might as well be the twentieth. He'd honestly lost count at this point but he could tell that these guys were serious about everything.
Only he cannot, as he's soon held at gunpoint about 12 hours later, the darkness of the night hiding the person's face. But the voice was more than enough for the teen to recognise.
"You don't go back on our calls," the guy said.