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Nick Wiger Profile
Nick Wiger

@nickwiger

54,016
Followers
1,541
Following
446
Media
6,076
Statuses

Bic Lighter. Hunk enthusiast

SoCal
Joined January 2011
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
They’re gonna blame the protests for COVID spikes instead of shit like this
@ArashMarkazi
Arash Markazi
4 years
Las Vegas is officially back.
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
The 4 types of adult 1. Alcoholic parent 2. IBS sufferer 3. Disney season pass holder 4. Facebook racist
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Guy Fieri hating eggs is a dazzling character detail. You couldn’t write it
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
I dunno, maybe the thing on the left should’ve mentioned the thing on the right?
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Did I brew that?
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
lmao at the courtroom sketch of Weinstein's nudes
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Sorkin Zuckerberg: You know, you really don't need a forensics team to get to the bottom of this. If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook. IRL Zuckerberg: Guhhhh well I think lying is bad (gulp)
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Later today the bang bus will be driving through lower Manhattan to salute frontline workers
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Lol Bernie owns so much
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
6 years
Podcast listeners: When are you gonna come to [city]?? Also podcast listeners: Ugh another live episode
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Potions should exist
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Darth Vader is 39 in Star Wars
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Rise of Skywalker puts the image in your head of Emperor Palpatine hitting it raw
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Ok just took a bath at home for the first time in my adult life. Relaxing but had some issues: - Cramped (obv) - Need pillow (?) for head - Bath salts underwhelming (didn’t use enough? Also I miss suds) - Unflattering meat splay Any tips to plus up a bath time experience?
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Rest of the league waiting for their turn to blow out the Warriors
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
6 years
No one deserved to be dunked on like this more than Chris Dudley, a shitty player with an ugly game who's IRL friends with Brett Kavanaugh
@ESPNNBA
NBA on ESPN
6 years
On This Date: In 1999, Shaq threw down one of the most disrespectful dunks in NBA history 😤
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Prayers for Howard Schultz who injured his back trying to suck himself off 🙏🙏🙏
@sahilkapur
Sahil Kapur
5 years
New letter from @HowardSchultz on his health and exploration of an independent presidential candidacy.
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
6 years
Ok I’m switching to defending her with my life
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
6 years
A sensible bedtime is a thoughtful gift for tomorrow you!
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Jesus now every commercial is some maudlin “we’re there for you” shit. Can we please bring back the Budweiser frogs
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Those soft grocery store cookies with the icing. I don't know what you call em but I know where they belong: my tum tum
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
“Dennis Rodman isn’t interesting” an instant S-tier Simmons take. Just tremendous shit. Like arguing Shaq isn’t big
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Benioff/Weiss admit they’d “never seen a TV show before” & their pitch doc consisted of a Subway napkin with text “dragon + titty”
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
First day working for the Buttigieg campaign. Every six minutes an alarm goes off & you have to stand & do the High Hopes dance. My pulse has stabilized at 150 bpm
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
6 years
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Computer simulation of Bloomberg 2020
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Diarrhea “rare”? I gotta get this thing
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
For the first time I'm happy I opened my DMs
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Logging on to the bad website for the bad day
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Beto & Neil deGrasse Tyson saying fuck & shit means cussing is officially no longer edgy. The cool thing now is saying “what the frick” & “golly gee”
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Who healed after Rodney King? Who healed after Eric Garner? It's the same open wound you decrepit feckless dipshit
@ThisWeekABC
This Week
4 years
NEW: Speaker Nancy Pelosi says a president of the United States “has the responsibility to heal,” quoting former President. George H. W. Bush following the Rodney King riots and Former President Barack Obama’s following the killing of Eric Garner.
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
It’s not like you have to be some genius philosopher king to start a business. I mean I’ve started a business. It’s called Doughboys Media. It’s a podcast where me & my friend call each other fat
@MikeBloomberg
Mike Bloomberg
5 years
Anyone?
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
What the fuck
@LILmookieB
Michael “Mookie” Blaiklock
5 years
Does anyone else remember this Fruity Pebbles Christmas commercial where, at the end, Fred Flintstone just starts chewing without ever putting the cereal in his mouth?? I‘ve thought about this for years.
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
@bobby Big endorsement for Bernie
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Fuck you #MayorCheat
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
I have a new theory. Here it is. “Every sauce is good”
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Complaining to a friend with no Switch about all the eggs during Bunny Day
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Wow, people already circulating a completely unfounded conspiracy theory that Epstein wasn’t murdered
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Another glass ceiling shattered
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Appreciate holiday inn giving guests a jack off sign
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Most pets are incel
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Just in time. Things almost got bad there for a sec
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
My fav part of the children’s game animal crossing is flying to an untouched tropical paradise to strip mine & deforest it before abandoning it forever
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
6 years
I love being a tremendously stupid dickhead. Just the dumbest of all fucks
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Vote blue no matter who
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
I am calling on Doughboys listeners to order take out Chinese food. This is someplace I know we can make a difference
@winyeemichelle
Michelle Chai 蔡詠兒
5 years
This is going to sound kinda mad, but this week, pls consider making your weekly takeout a Chinese takeaway. My family's businesses have all been impacted hugely by coronavirus panic 😭
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
@KevinTPorter @LAFoodBank Friend was a PA on her show, got their first staff writer job & put in notice, instead of “congrats!” was told to give their Christmas gift back
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Checking my phone while riding a horse in a video game
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Language constantly evolves, for instance hell yeah is now he’ll yeah
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Nonspecific shorthand ordering in bars. "Gimme a beer." "Whiskey. Leave the bottle."
@rosstmiller
Ross Miller 🍿🎬
4 years
Friday film question: what's a tiny little detail from a movie, or trend in movies, that bugs the hell out of you? Not anything major, just specific.
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
[Full court lob alley oop into a 360 slam] Jeff Van Gundy: How come nobody smokes a pipe anymore?
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
I mean this is obviously corrupt but also imagine spending $1750 to watch a fuckin debate instead of building a high end gaming PC
Ever wonder if the audience at the #DemDebate might lean towards a particular candidate? Seats at this one cost $1,750 to $3,200.
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
The Coca Cola company is not happy with me--that's okay, I'll still keep drinking that garbage.
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Doughboys is restarting production today against LA County rules. I will be in the studio with everyone else. If anyone is arrested, I ask that it only be Yusong.
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
6 years
Michelle Wife
@realryanmeharry
Ryan Meharry
6 years
My Lyft driver has his wife saved in his phone as “Michelle Wife”.
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Been a while since there was one of those insane hygiene posts everyone dunked on like “I have never once washed my socks” or “does anyone else sit side saddle on the toilet”
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Just hanging like its after day two of dragon con
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
What can one even say
@Eater
Eater
4 years
McDonald’s to debut spicy chicken McNuggets, its first new U.S. flavor since 1983
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Jack raising $50K purely to spite hoarse wisperer is the most I've ever seen anyone be owned
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Plus you know he’s farting in there
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Jonah Hill’s fake dick in Wolf of Wall Street is so lame. Show your real hog coward
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
@nickciarelli @Mike2020 This is fucked up. He finds out on twitter??
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Every other day some serious face avi tweets "Danger Democrats: go too far left & you'll lose voters like me" & when you check their bio it's always like "Former chief strategist for Dennis Hastert. Current private prison lobbyist"
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Animal Crossing right now is like early Twitter: the eggs are ruining everything!!
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Santa is uncircumcised
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Packed a lunch but forgot it at home. Just a fuckin gutpunch
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Eating a 1700 calorie salad at Cheesecake Factory
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Huge endorsement from some loser pretending to be Bill Murray
@StayWonked
I Love You Maine.
5 years
In 2016, I felt the Democratic Party and the country as a whole needed a change and I supported @BernieSanders in the democratic primary. On Tuesday, I’ll be casting my vote for @SenWarren as I feel she is the one Democrat that can unite our party and beat @realDonaldTrump .
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
“See now, Corn Pop ran with this bad dude named Sugar Bear. He was always telling folks he can’t get enough of that Golden Crisp”
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
🥧 PIE THREAD 🥧 What’s a pie you like? I’ll start: banana cream pie 😋 Positive vibes only. No hating on anyone’s preferred pies!!
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Apparently she’s reviewing chain restaurants?? This is fucked
@RyanLizza
Ryan Lizza
5 years
Some news: Hillary Clinton is starting her own podcast
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Just to be yet another person to make the same point re: this craven horseshit. My union came very close to striking in 2017 over whether the companies would fund our fucking healthcare. If that issue was off the table we'd have more leverage in contract negotiations
@PeteButtigieg
Pete Buttigieg
5 years
There are 14 million union workers in America who have fought hard for strong, employer-provided health benefits. Medicare for All Who Want It protects their plans and union members' freedom to choose the coverage that's best for them.
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
How come there wasn’t a Lenny Kravitz challenge where dudes tried to squat & rip open their pants to expose their full dick & balls
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Can’t believe Tom Nook really plans to lift the quarantine by Bunny Day
@Polygon
Polygon
5 years
Animal Crossing: New Horizons’ Bunny Day event detailed, and an old sloth friend returns
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
“So what’s Quincy like?”
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Fuck Dianne Feinstein
@igorbobic
Igor Bobic
5 years
Asked Feinstein yesterday about Trump's comments about homeless people in CA:
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Biden drops his boxers to weigh himself & chats nude for 45 minutes. Bloomberg dries his dick, balls, & asshole with the hand dryer & leaves 3 towels in a heap on the floor. Bernie changes efficiently facing the lockers. He’s not ashamed of his body he’s being respectful
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
6 years
My parents paid bribes to get me into UCB advanced study
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Gotta be a record amount of mild salsa
@JakeSherman
Jake Sherman
5 years
Massive bags of qdoba are being carried into the capitol.
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Finally got around to reading the Marie Kondo book & it owns
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
I’m older and fatter than george costanza
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Beto’s official statement: “Listen up assholes, I’m dropping the fuck out to focus on jacking my dick”
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Joe Biden retire bitch
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Still can’t believe they went to the trouble of recreating this photo with no dick! The dick was the whole thing!
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Philanthropy is conscience laundering
@nytimes
The New York Times
5 years
Bill Gates has minimized his ties to Jeffrey Epstein. But a New York Times investigation shows that Gates and Epstein repeatedly spent time together after Epstein was a convicted sex offender.
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Lotta dudes gonna give themselves huge power tools in cyberpunk. Me, I shall fashion a sleek, practical dick
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
NYT endorses both cum & pee for best fluid from a dick
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
Entirely consistent with the Hollywood open secret about Ellen: a nightmare to work for
@Variety
Variety
4 years
Crew members from Ellen DeGeneres’ long-running daytime talk show are distressed and outraged over their treatment from top producers amid the coronavirus pandemic
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
@TheDemocrats I did as you instructed & this was the image I got in reply??
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
@HillaryClinton This!!! 😂😂 Hey who invited Ghislaine Maxwell to Chelsea’s wedding
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Getting my $26 (with tip) haircut.
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Well, here it is: I can finally announce I’ll be personally curating the hentai on HBO Max!
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
This is fucked
@latimesfood
L.A. Times Food
5 years
Since Costco began selling hot dogs in 1984, anyone could partake in the store’s fast-food deals — with or without an annual membership. That’s about to change.
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
What’s he shittin
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
The Sonic story is wild! They completely reworked the design of the title character based on fan reaction to a trailer! And people are happy with the result! This is unprecedented!
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
4 years
These days I learn of the existence of a celeb when they collab with McDonald’s on a combo meal
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Prince Andrew re: Epstein’s townhouse
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@nickwiger
Nick Wiger
5 years
Well I finally did it. I accidentally lit my shirtsleeve on fire at a tiki bar
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