callie actually @myfriendcallie Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

callie actually

2 years

When Sylvia plath said “I am, to be blunt and concise, in love with only myself, my puny being with its small inadequate breasts and meager, thin talents”

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

So help me god

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

Im never lonely cuz i got these little guys with me :)

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

Did a tick write this tweet

𝓬.𝓱.

@CHERRYH3AVEN

3 years

Imagine being here with the love of your life

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

Imagine how fuckin uncomfortable the other kids in this class were

fka sids

@yungsids

4 years

rent free

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

no worries if not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is my love language

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

why didn’t the vampires in twilight stop the holocaust

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

Am i going crazy why isn’t she wearing pants

🕊

@justbottega

2 years

oh she has that break up glow

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

ratatouille THIS ratatouille THAT you ungrateful fucks never talk about FLUSHED AWAY!!!!!

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

*tapping my clit* is this thing on?

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

I love when girls come into the cafe high as fuck and look at all the pastries like they’re made of solid gold and diamond

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

OMG — I JUST GOT INTO M.I.T 😭🤩🎉🎉😍 I’M JUST A JANITOR RIGHT NOW BUT I THINK I’M GONNA TRY THIS MATH PROBLEM ON THE CHALKBOARD

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

My dream scenario is everyone i like sitting around a big table enjoying a bowl of soup that I made. They all say “wow, this is SO good” and they all ask for seconds

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

The CDC is now recommending that u give me a little kiss on the forehead

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

5 years

dating older men sucks because they always text like they’re about to break up with you like bitch wtf is a “Good morning. Call me.” ?????

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

the most tender beautiful thing is leaving someone asleep in your house while you start ur day ….. slumber soundly……. perfect angel…….

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

going to the Harmacy to pick up my poisons and evil mixtures

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

Sex is first base. Fourth base is i introduce u to my stuffed animals

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

Ok its literally so important to have a little cat to come home to at night

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

5 years

if you don’t like pickles keep that shit to yourself that’s fucking embarrassing

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 months

as a dog , I can’t imagine something more embarrassing than your ear being inside out. just HUMILIATING

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

the rules of being bad at your job are it’s ok to suck at ur job unless ur inconveniencing ur coworkers. then it’s bad and u suck

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

mike’s hard????? good for him

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

Just found out NYU is real. Im sick to my stomach

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

Old people really went off with the whole groaning when you stand up or sit down thing

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

has anyone noticed that you PARK in a DRIVEway but CRY in a WALGREEN’S BATHROOM ?

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

Im so brave for being A hot girl who looks bad in photos

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

I didn’t want to fuck this guy at first.. But then he liked 37 of my instagram posts at once and commented “😍” on a picture of some pretty flowers from 94 weeks ago and now i am reconsidering !

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

okay fine i’ll say it. there is no physical way that dan could have been gossip girl

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 months

this makes me bawl crying whenever i remember it

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

object permanence? i’ll believe it when i see it

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

Heyyyyy sorry i acted weird. I’ll probably do it again :/

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

8 months

i desire a trip to the aquarium , at the end of which i am permitted to pick one toy for my good behavior

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

i took a pill in IKEA

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

the OC is the best television show in existence based on the strength of this exchange alone

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

surely THIS will be the purchase that finally fills the deep hole of sadness and dissatisfaction within me

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

thinking about when my (good) ex didn’t know how to dirty talk so he said he was going to chain me in his basement for two weeks with only bread and water i was like wait what

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

Not to victim blame but why did you bring a needle into a haystack in the first place

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

microdosing a heart attack by having generalized anxiety disorder

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

rawdogging sleep (going to bed without smoking weed)

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

cigarette breaks are the only time people take five minutes to ONLY focus on breathing. nicotine addiction is a meditative practice actually

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

It’s here… the rare few weeks when the girls can wear The Uniform

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

everything is about sex except skeeball. skeeball is about power

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

My grandpa saw u across the bar and we love your vibe. Can we inherit your chocolate factory

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

you want me to go to the toilet. The thing that killed Elvis

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

I do not want to be a woman in the work force!!! I want to be a little creature drinking from a creek!!!!!!

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

bitches will smoke three pounds of weed but not take dayquil because it makes them feel “out of it”

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

5 months

this might be the most beautiful picture ive ever seen

dreaming

@dreaming

5 months

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

5 months

throwback to when the secret service came to my house and asked me what I meant by this

callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

Boyfriend got a sunburn

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

HE PROPOSED!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼💍💍💍💍💍💍💍 that we break up

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

if i were ur girlfriend i would bring u little flowers i found on my walk

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

Enough about women in STEM. let’s give it up for women in PAIN!

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

I think all doctors should be allowed to break HIPAA once per year. For gossip reasons

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

God i love new york. Where else in the world can you get a sandwich

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

If you still talk about your SAT or ACT scores after graduating literal college i am begging u to do more drugs

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

the eight (8) words every girl wants to hear

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

on the phone with IT for my new job and i made a joke and the guy was like "what did you say" and i was like "oh i just made a joke" and he went "say it again. i like jokes" so i repeated myself and after ~10 seconds of dead silence he just went "ok so what do you need help with"

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

1 year

That one girl at junior prom who don’t play about tumblr

PHOEBE BRIDGERS UPDATES

@ThePhoebeRoom

1 year

📸 | Phoebe Bridgers at the 2023 #MetGala !

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

5 months

No i like him

amelia𓆨

@kcalbug

5 months

unnatural…. unsettling…

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

5 years

me for a week after someone takes an ugly candid photo of me

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

Not to be soooo dumb but like. Where does the candle go when it burns

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

mommy can’t play right now she has to go on a pensive walk and listen to her songs

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

Shoutout to the guy in my zoom meeting who was screensharing and went to slack to DM his coworker “She’s killing me” while I was talking

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

9 months

oh my invite must have gotten lost in the mail or something :(

trailcam

@Trail_Cams

9 months

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

A straight man with a very small dog is part of the LGBTQ

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

There should be a word for when nothing brings you joy and you have no motivation and the everything you love feels meaningless to you

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

Well well well . If it isn’t the feelings i shoved down five months ago

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

It should be illegal for boyfriends to be asleep when you want to chit chat

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

it’s abba hour

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

has anyone noticed that you PARK in a DRIVEway but FUCK in an ARBY’S PARKING LOT?

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

i want a girl with a short skirt and a looooong history of mental illness

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

If you think these look like real women im begging u to step outside

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

keto people be like that’s my emotional support 15 hard boiled eggs

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

5 years

pee during sex!!! saves u time afterwards

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

6 months

i played this out loud and my bf thought it was a clip from dune

art

@_artsartsarts

6 months

this is sorta so beautiful it hurts

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

this is the funniest thing i’ve ever fucking read i’m losing it

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

5 years

oh god you guys i broke up with him i was tired of begging to be loved oh my god

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

writing a cover letter is so debasing like can i just give the hiring manager a blowjob instead

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

1 year

now why’d they name that little girl jonbenet

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

I want to get black out drunk in Roku City

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

Im a California 6 and a New York 6 and a Midwest 6. Different things work against me in every region

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

jackass with girls????? Yeah they made that it’s called America’s next top model

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

1 year

Guys seriously stop bullying the weeknd. It’s abelism

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

why couldn’t I have been born a stained glass window

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

Why do you want to show the medieval peasant something that will kill him? I want to show him something beautiful that moves him deeply. I want him to be happy

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

let him do it please im holding on by a thread

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

4 years

Kamala Harris and Joe Biden official campaign poster

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

I let him hit because he answered my riddles three

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

2 years

Sure she’s hot but does she dilly dally? Does she loaf about or fritter away? Is she a meandering type

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

5 months

hate remembering that to my coworkers I’M the coworker… don’t they know im different

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

3 years

in australia i dated this 30 year old guy and every night he would ask me what “smells we were having” that night and let me pick the essential oils to put in his diffuser. healthiest relationship i’ve ever been in miss him

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie

5 years

two men drinking increasingly bitter IPAs to outdo one another until one eventually dies

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callie actually

@myfriendcallie