Iceberg Artisan 🦝 @mocena Twitter profile

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

14 years

Looks like a fish. Moves like a fish. Steers like a cow.

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

2 years

@ItsJewsie Not my wedding, but at my ex-in-laws’ wedding apparently the groom’s mother sobbed in misery so loudly (she hated the bride) that the bride’s father stood up and yelled “SHUT THE HELL UP, BEVERLY” in the middle of the ceremony.

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

2 years

@ItsJewsie Ok to be fair I can’t remember her actual name but it was something like that.

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

2 years

@WereInHellYT Why do you have a drawer full of loose eggs AND a bunch of egg whites in cartons? This is fascinating.

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@mocena

4 years

@sallyt My gyno said practice-wide they do anatomy scans at 18 weeks instead of the normal 20 specifically because in SC you only have until 20w to terminate and they decided women need more time to make their choices. Love her.

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

3 years

Two days left of complaining, people. Make it count.

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

2 years

@sullivan_ballou @ItsJewsie Rita! It was Rita! I remembered!

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@mocena

2 years

@ask_aubry It’s weird to hang all of your motherhood identity on the relatively brief process that helped you become one instead of the part later where you actually have to parent.

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

3 years

Send me your tactics for handling the really emotionally draining days as a lawyer. I’m about to have one. Please do not suggest alcohol.

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

4 years

@XeXee_D @_ESM3R You know you don’t HAVE to tweet every thought that comes into your head, right? Esp if it is rude?

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@mocena

3 years

How do I bill “run around house and shout about first appellate win to my dogs?”

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

2 years

It is not a coincidence that SOL means two things.

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

3 years

@profdaf No, it’s fine, I’m sure you’ll just make up your own definition for passive aggressive and apply it to me no matter what I say.

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@mocena

2 years

@AugustVinsmoke @beauvoirbaddie If you really want tips, here are mine: 1.take down the shirtless pic 2. come up with something slightly more interesting than “cooking for you”, it is a common response and men often want credit for basic cooking, which is obnoxious 3. add some jokes

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

2 years

@AllanaJizelle @AfricanArchives Are you really asking the difference between a woman who was essentially enslaved and used for her body and people who choose to appear naked online? Is this really the way you want to go with this?

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@mocena

3 years

I just overheard my 4 yo telling my 9 yo about the day this summer when we watched THREE MOVIES together and how great it was. We watched three movies bc I was in the depths of a depression and that was all I could manage. I am having some feelings now.

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

2 years

It may seem like a small thing, but I dreamed for years about being the kind of lawyer who has her heels in her purse for court later.

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

2 years

@lostchyld1 @ellle_em Then she “sort of” faked a seizure to avoid dealing with it? Wow.

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@mocena

2 years

Y’all. The rule is there so Target doesn’t have to pay for employee injuries when they go after shoplifters and get hurt. That’s it. That’s all of it.

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@mocena

2 years

@the_medderses @bessbell My 4 yo daughter said to me “I love you, but I’m just not into you right now. I’m into Grandma.”

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@mocena

2 years

@_MomViibes @sullivan_ballou @ItsJewsie TBH I agree

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@mocena

4 years

I dyed a streak of my 74 yo mom’s hair blue today. She got the dye at Ulta and the color is “Anime.” She is so delighted, y’all.

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@mocena

4 years

@Eyescapesoft @shereeny I got yelled at once for not knowing how much potassium there was in a bully stick. A bully stick is a piece of beef that people give to dogs to chew. She asked for the ingredients, I said “beef,” and she shouted at me.

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@mocena

2 years

@emily_murnane Someone at DB told this lady in the early 90s her dress was worth keeping for her grandchildren and she believed them.

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@mocena

4 years

@DeadliestGinger @AITA_reddit Emotional abuse, apparently, works wonders.

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@mocena

2 years

@atreideznutz I like how he is clearly very high and he still chooses to go this hard and he clearly feels very good about how it went.

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@mocena

2 years

@R_Denhollander I had a guy come up to me as a kid and give me the same lecture. I have never forgotten.

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@mocena

3 years

@LolOverruled This stupid phone I am constantly staring at.

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@mocena

2 years

@Megfaye @ahumblebunnie 2 Museums of Ice Cream visits in and I got it.

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@mocena

3 years

@ErinInTheMorn @libraryluna In law school, we did an exercise where we argued on behalf of the Matrix itself to justify its existence. I didn’t understand then what I understand now: that it was an easy exercise for me because I am cis. It’s humbling to try to understand the breadth of trans existence.

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@mocena

2 years

Lawtwitter, what do you have as advice for a better 2023? As an employment lawyer, I’d advise employees to know their rights so they don’t get fired for asserting rights they don’t have.

Adaira Landry, MD MEd

@AdairaLandryMD

2 years

Question for #medtwitter : what is a tip related to your speciality that can help people have a healthier 2023? For EM, never drive while intoxicated.

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@mocena

3 years

@redditships I mean he literally says in a followup that he doesn’t want to be married so he can change his mind and get out quickly whenever he wants, I can’t imagine why she is so nervous about taking a financial hit with such a dedicated partner. 🤨

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@mocena

3 years

I graduated law school two years ago today!

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@mocena

2 years

@MarlaCaceres @lawyerinbeta My daughter is exactly like that. She was like “Mom, I already know how to dance, you just saw me, why would I want to take a class?” and like… she had a point.

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@mocena

4 years

@BadLegalTakes I know this isn’t the point, but if I could get $75k for clients who have had to deal with minor HIPAA violations, I would be a very wealthy woman indeed.

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@mocena

3 years

@UnionSaltBae I couldn’t read the whole thing bc I was so distracted by how much this lady really needed her acquaintances to care deeply about and celebrate her kidney donation. It’s an awesome thing to do but expecting people to be obsessed with your gift is weird.

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@mocena

3 years

Hey #lawtwitter , we all know the law things non-law folks get mad about and shouldn’t (e.g. criminal defense attys existing), what are some things you wish more people would be mad about? It’s exhaustion of administrative remedies for me.

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@mocena

2 years

@AngryBlackLady Gisele:

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

1 year

@BoneJail @mellem_esq Definitely read this as drunk tank and it still changes the social contract and also makes for a funnier and weirder story. Suggest changing to drunk tank permanently.

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

3 years

@w_stroker @egcurtismd I begin all consults with telling potential clients that I am the attorney giving them the consult. It should not be necessary. And yet.

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@mocena

3 years

@PandaSalesman @KT_So_It_Goes I think they must think we are mortally wounded by the idea of them insulting Biden since they probably assume we worship Biden like they worshipped Trump. By “we” I mean everyone who didn’t vote for Trump.

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@mocena

2 years

@solomonmissouri @njokingumi Elephant Sugarcane Toll would be a great name for a band.

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@mocena

3 years

@EmergMedDr @daytheon I don’t think you understood this post.

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@mocena

2 years

@romanceguru79 @RefugeeRiches @IgnisTwote @FBI Why do you think the FBI would care? It’s an awful thing to say, but the FBI aren’t exactly good guys.

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@mocena

2 years

After a couple years of attorneyhood, I am suddenly faced with my first hearing where I have to physically appear before a judge instead of hiding behind a screen. So uh… tips on the in-person part? I have the “how to argue” part pretty much down.

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@mocena

2 years

@rebeccaroot @kathleenromig @amandamull They took me back to the center of town and stuck me in a cab, which took me directly where I needed to go. Bless those girls. also, who let me run around in Eastern Europe on my own like that

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@mocena

2 years

Honestly the idea that Gisele cannot just go do whatever the hell she wants with her life and bazillion dollars and somehow must be worried about *checks notes* finding another husband who will “put up” with her status as a bazillionaire MOM supermodel is HILARIOUS.

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@mocena

1 year

It just occurred to me that the law students who are about to graduate all STARTED law school during a global pandemic and I cannot wait to see how people with that level of courage have to offer the Bar.

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@mocena

3 years

@ErinInTheMorn @libraryluna It was easy for me to say “Who cares about the truth if you are safe and comfortable?” when my own existence and truth has never been questioned.

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@mocena

2 years

@Swilua I don’t think I can handle sentient mushrooms today.

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@mocena

3 years

You know what advice I always thought was silly? When people tell engaged couples to save tons of money by having a tiny wedding and then a “big party.” It’s the party part of the wedding that costs the most. Cutting a big ceremony cuts, like, the cost of programs.

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@mocena

4 years

@bananawarmer Parent of young kids here! When we get questions about kink during Pride from our kids, we respond with “That is what makes those folks happy. Isn’t it wonderful that people can feel comfortable being themselves here?” And that’s it.

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@mocena

2 years

@rebeccaroot @kathleenromig @amandamull In Tartu, Estonia in August 2001. I got off the bus and started walking in the hopes of finding my dorm. Some Russian teenagers stopped me and made me turn around and go the other way. They told me I did NOT want to go into that part of town. The part they were from.

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@mocena

1 year

@Genesis17Q17 @DefNotDorothy @FoxNews Why do you want to punish kids for choices you think their parents make?

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@mocena

3 years

I think this may be the best photo I have ever taken.

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@mocena

2 years

What singular class have you taken that has forever changed the way you look at a subject? Don’t say something boring, this is twitter. Mine is food-borne illness litigation.

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@mocena

2 years

@preauxvision @DwyaneWade Why do you wear glasses

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@mocena

3 years

Me in undergrad: what are the minimum words I must write to get a decent grade on this? Me as an attorney: super proud of getting this letter down to 16 pages

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@mocena

2 years

Women married to men who do not want a baby: if your husband is not willing to get a vasectomy, he does not love you and you need to get a divorce. Today.

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@mocena

4 years

@FriendMighty @sallyt Actually, I appreciate the correction. I should have said pregnant people.

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@mocena

3 years

It has been four years since our daughter’s (step-parent) adoption was finalized. Four years of peace and freedom to be the family we were destined to become. I am beyond thankful for everyone that had a part in this happily ever after.

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@mocena

2 years

The asteroid that killed the dinosaurs landed with such an impact that blowback hit the moon, and there is a very good chance that dinosaur parts hit the moon with it.

Eric Michael Garcia

@EricMGarcia

2 years

What is a fact that sounds like a shitpost but is 100 percent real?

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@mocena

11 months

I got my EOB from my fancy brain surgery and I am so thrilled to share that I finally have cost Blue Cross Blue Shield more than I have paid them.

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@mocena

3 years

I love watching this kid figure out her style.

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@mocena

2 years

@MinisterE16 @Dreadful4Tymes You are attracted to her because you are attracted to women and she is one. Not because of her sexuality or genetics, but because she is a woman and you like women. That’s it. That’s the end of the analysis.

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@mocena

4 years

@SherwoodAri_ Fine by me, but the other side is if you say no kids and we don’t come because of the kids, don’t question our decisionmaking and send flying monkeys to hassle us. This happened to us last year and was very frustrating.

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@mocena

2 years

@pilitown @buitengebieden_ This moment is a perfect illustration of one of the most special things about dogs: humans and dogs are the only two species on the planet that understand each other so well as to understand what pointing or looking at something means when done by the other species.

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@mocena

2 years

If someone said I could sit on SCOTUS but beforehand I’d have to be civil in a conversation with Josh Hawley… yeah I’m good. No thanks.

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@mocena

2 years

@prolepeach @infinities613 Drag dancer my ass, that woman is a QUEEN.

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@mocena

3 years

Just had to explain Sandy Hook to my 9 yo so if you need me, I’ll be sobbing into a pillow for the rest of eternity.

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@mocena

4 years

@lacuna_beach @Eyescapesoft @shereeny Well, I guess her dog’s vet had told her the dog needed a special low-potassium diet and so she wanted to know what treats she could give. Which, fair, but maybe ask the vet and not the sadsack retail worker getting $9/hour?

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@mocena

3 years

I just walked by the bathroom and heard my 4 yo chuckle to himself “Heh, buttasaurus…”

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@mocena

2 years

Lots of divorce talk on the TL today. I’m a fan of divorce, because I think people should not be together if they do not want to be together and the law should have a mechanism for undoing what it linked together. How this is a hot take, I do not understand.

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@mocena

3 years

Tbt three years ago when I took a tax law textbook to a doctor’s appointment and wore this shirt and got what I deserved.

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

3 years

@LFCmike_ @POTUS Well I also speak for all Americans and they told me that they don’t want Trump back, so there.

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@mocena

1 year

I will give five American dollars if someone can give me an evidence-backed estimate of how much money Pandora paid to have its own button on my remote. No I have not pushed the Blockbuster button, I am not a lunatic.

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@mocena

2 years

@AugustVinsmoke @beauvoirbaddie The shirtless pic is fine and you look nice and all, it just sets a different tone than your other pictures and is unnecessary. You want to be “funloving cute guy,” not “funloving cute guy who also really likes his own abs.”

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@mocena

2 years

Red carpet ready.

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

2 years

@ConnorColson @LRogersMI Oh, I always knew what they were actually saying.

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Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

1 year

6 yo to my husband just now: Sleep well. Watch out for people who look like me but don’t sound like me.

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@mocena

3 years

@KevinMKruse @morgfair I am tickled by the idea of drug dealers measuring fentanyl into little single serve containers containing precisely the fatal dose so they can kill the maximum amount of people.

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@mocena

4 years

@Honest_Mommy_ @sallyt Of course not. It is your body, your choice.

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@mocena

7 years

The Princess and the Pony! @beatonna

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@mocena

2 years

Am I feeling emotional saying goodbye to my very first lawyer office? I am. Am I also so excited about my new space I could scream? Yes. LOOK!!!!

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@mocena

3 years

My kids never get to eat fun party food so I decided we’d just have a pajama party food party by ourselves.

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@mocena

3 years

Behold: My Maternity Shoot. March 2017.

Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

3 years

You guys want to see the best photos anyone has ever taken of me? I’m feeling vain.

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@mocena

2 years

@marielynn502 @KristinLyerly Also, the “right thing” here is not free. You think insurance companies will pay for procedures that are illegal? Do you think hospital execs let doctors go around doing free procedures all the time? Doctors are as stuck in this crap system as the rest of us.

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@mocena

4 years

@MarqueeMoon1976 @alizaslav That’s my thought. Someone told him not to wear it.

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@mocena

2 years

@bessbell My son Fred’s best lil kindergarten buddy is called Jerry. JERRY.

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@mocena

2 years

@BizarWolf @fenrislorsrai @tentinybees @Vanvidum I need someone to point frogs out to me in my daily life.

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@mocena

2 years

@alovelydai Wait what about Boomers who, no matter how many times it has happened in the past, will loudly attempt to open your locked door before loudly knocking?

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@mocena

2 years

Well this is patently unfair.

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@mocena

3 years

Why do we act like there is only one single person who could possibly work for SCOTUS? There are scores of perfectly qualified and brilliant jurists and lawyers who are capable of that work.

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@mocena

3 years

HE GOT IN

Iceberg Artisan 🦝

@mocena

3 years

Everybody cross your fingers that my little guy gets his sister’s school in the lottery, because otherwise next year is going to be really obnoxious.

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@mocena

4 years

@nubianlocz Yeah seriously, this is not me taking vid for reasons.

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@mocena

3 years

@AbolitionEsq Motion to Dispense with *waves hand* all this.

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@mocena

2 years

@Northern_Rich @sheldonknaggs @SeekTheFinds Maybe the artist isn’t terribly good since he managed to make scars which specifically mean one type of surgery has occurred even though he means to make another type of scar.

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@mocena

3 years

What overly formal titles do you use to address your pets? I call mine Sir or Madam when I feed them or let them inside.

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@mocena

2 years

Birthday tiara on point.

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@mocena

2 years

@henrymcmaster The people spoke when they put the right to privacy in the SC Constitution.

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@mocena

4 years

@kthorjensen CVS, while in my pjs waiting for a script. Hadn’t showered in days. Probably had vom in my hair. Still the most attractive person who has ever hit on me IN MY LIFE.

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