Mike Wilson (he/him) @mikemwilson Twitter profile

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

8 months

Tried my hand at writing a story that is a series of set ups and punchlines about how the institution of marriage is, for most women, a big ‘ol joke.

Variant Literature

@VariantLit

8 months

Thanks to fiction writers Mike Wilson @mikemwilson James R Gapinski @JamesRGapinski DJ Huppatz @danhuppatz Thomas Mixon Sarah Roth Huina Zheng for their amazing contributions!

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Last Seen Profiles

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

@writesloud Well shit. We had to listen to all that sound and fury over how traumatic masks were for the kids and now our right wing hell has presented us with a combat bunker for each classroom. Totally not traumatic.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Was just in line at the store, double masked, and a fella behind me informed me that my masks don’t do anything, so I asked him which lab was he a scientific researcher at. He did not tell me which lab he was a scientific researcher at.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

Anyone else have a TBR book pile and also a smaller TBR pile to read before your TBR pile or am I not okay?

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

1 year

Can you imagine being partnered with a writer as successful as Maggie Smith — MAGGIE SMITH — and you’re pissed off that she’s not doing the dishes enough or isn’t folding the laundry or running the vacuum or doing bath time as much as you are sometimes?

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

English major here — I drive a truck for a living and in my downtime read a lot and write when I can. I never looked at studying literature as job training but more as an intro into a lifetime of learning blah blah I don’t know if this is the way to do it but it’s worked for me.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Please tell me the books with the most beautiful prose you’ve ever read. This is something I’m trying to get better at, line by line, and I’m needing some good books to teach me.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

1 year

@Brttnyblm I’m sitting here wondering how many women have scrolled past my little tweet and rolled their eyes like “Yeah dumb ass we don’t even have to imagine it” and that bums me out.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

1 year

(I know her piece presented it in a more complicated light than what I just reduced it to but come on man your partner is living the dream, and even if she toiled in obscurity, fuck, support her with your every effort.)

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

7 years

@neiltyson I read this over my 9 year old's shoulder today while she was making a Mother's Day card. Made my eyes a little moist.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

Was messing around with Chat GPT, writing a story about a woman who sees her dead husband suddenly appear in front of her, and this is what the AI came up with.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

4 years

@mattdpearce @KevinMKruse Every day I think about how many times he used the phrase “American Carnage” in his inaugural. How else can we define what we have seen these last four years?

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

1 year

My novel is 109,000 words and I accidentally just added an extra zero on a query form, so there’s an agent out there who thinks I just sent them a one million word book.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

1 year

@DCTamE 99% of the women who’ve responded to this are like, “Oh Mike, sit down, let’s chat.” I would definitely reword my little angry tweet in a better way if I could do it again. I’m not so much surprised as I am perpetually aghast.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

@LHornerT @writesloud Exactly. “You can’t wear a mask but we are gonna teach “both sides” of the Holocaust from inside this military grade pillbox.”

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

I just accidentally submitted a story to Granta that Granta has already rejected.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

1 year

This might be a dumb question but is the future …analog? Like if AI is going to make cybersecurity impossible and if the media will be even more post-truth then are we going to be balancing check books as we read newspapers in ten years?

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Aaaaaand my 4th grader’s entire class has been quarantined.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Emailed a copy of my WIP to myself today to have a quick backup copy, and somehow I accidentally typed in the wrong email address and hit send before I caught it…so Old Navy now has a copy of my manuscript.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

It sucks that, in order to give a competent effort on a long writing project, you have to work on it until you’re completely sick of it, so that when it’s time to pitch an agent you’re basically like, “Here’s this fucking thing, I don’t care if you even read it.”

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Wilford Brimley just showed up to cure your diabetes by shooting it in the fuckin head.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

5 years

@NovicSara I was going to come off the top rope to correct his grammar but then I saw that you already took care of it.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

The three year old just walked up to me and asked if I wanted a piece of cake. Of course I said yes. So she reached into her pocket and pulled out a handful of mashed up cake and I have no idea where it came from WE HAVEN’T MADE CAKE AROUND HERE IN WEEKS. Happy Thanksgiving.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

I may not have a PhD or an MFA or even an undergraduate degree, but by god I have written two novels that didn’t sell and now a third that also probably won’t.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

4 years

I’m a truck driver and don’t have a college degree and I write literary fiction. It is kind of a fun 1% to be part of.

Caustic Cover Critic

@Unwise_Trousers

4 years

Given 99% of American literary fiction writers have exactly the same job (teacher in MFA program), is it any surprise there's often a sameyness to their books?

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Queried a couple agents today and just noticed that instead of writing “I’ve pasted the first ten pages below” I accidentally wrote “I’ve pasted the first ten pages blow.” This is off to a good start.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

When that email from an agent or editor starts with the word “While” you really don’t even need to read the rest.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

It would be cool if we could enter a period of reform over the next few decades and make it so that a handful of dudes can’t murder-suicide the whole world because they’re feeling bummed about money.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Sitting here with our 5 year old, who has had a 100 degree fever since yesterday afternoon. This will be our second test after only one week of school. All the people who turned public health into a culture war can fucking go to hell.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

A $4.95 submission fee kinda feels like I should get a form rejection and a cheeseburger.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Wife walks by, stops abruptly: “Are you Googling how to cook meth?” Me: “Yes but it’s for a short story.”

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

So I would say if you’re a young English major and that’s your thing do it anyway if you can. You’ll figure out the rest. And know that the loans are no joke. They are predatory and will be a real presence in your life the rest of the way.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

Okay Literary Twitter let’s do this — let’s come up with 45 billion + 1 dollar.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Son turns 12 today. One of the ways we are celebrating is with that first dose.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

2021 pub stats — Submissions: whole bunch Published: not a damn thing Bummed about it: sometimes Gonna quit trying: probably

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

6 years

@ThatEricAlper I want Will Ferrell to perform Dust in the Wind.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

9 months

The paperbacks I bought in my early/mid 20s are starting to show some real decay, and this is bothering me so much more than any of my own personal physical signs of bodily aging. I was not emotionally prepared for this.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

1 year

@nancy_reddy Oh totally— whether she’s Maggie Smith or unpublished or anything in between, a person deserves their humanity validated in every way always.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

1 year

I love writing maybe more than I’ve ever loved it but also I’ve never been more ambivalent about publishing…is anyone else feeling this?

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Saw that Narrative is hiring so if you’re interested just send them $25 and your resume and I’m sure you’ll never hear from them at all.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

I’d like to contribute to the discourse by saying “blurb” is an awful word and we should think of a new term for it, thank you.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

@athena_lathos @HilarieAshton My fave

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

I have friends on here. I used to see their tweets. They used to see mine. Sometimes we’d make little jokes to each other. That was neat.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

7 months

Finished 2666 this morning and it is undeniably a work of genius that also made me more unsettled and upset and uncomfortable than maybe any other book I’ve ever read.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

I don’t hate many people, but I do hate the parent in my kids’ drop off line at school who drives a big ‘ol Ford and has a bumper sticker that has a picture of a .50 caliber bullet that says “Just the tip” under it. I really hate that motherfucker a lot.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Happy anniversary to the 50 pound bag of rice I bought in a panic one year ago.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

This whole thing has me spinning out so bad. A quick Google search led me to the fact that there are over 100k ectopic pregnancies a year. So when they take back power and pass a national ban they’re going to just…kill a million women in a decade?

Mollie Katzen

@MollieKatzen

2 years

🚨‼️ The new Louisiana bill has amended the current law's language to make sure abortion criminalization covers ectopic pregnancies.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

1 year

Read that review in Slate and am convinced people don’t know how to engage with art anymore. Social media has ruined our minds lol. Why would you ever want literature to be more like Twitter? Write like you tweet? How condescending. What are we even doing?

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

There’s so much suffering in the world and we are all carrying so much weight emotionally, and sometimes you open the fridge and there’s a tipped over bottle of syrup in there that spilled everywhere and that’s the thing that finally makes you have that cry you’ve been needing.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

4 years

Wrote this short story about loss and regret, and hopefully it has a few dark laughs in it too. So incredibly grateful to @lostballoonmag for giving it space.

Perennials by Mike Wilson

Here’s what my dad saw before he died: a lawn mower, an engine hoist with an empty chain that dangled like some sort of antique gallows, a rusted out motor home, and the house I grew up in. He’d be…

lost-balloon.com

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Lit mag email: “Dear Mike, while we appreciate the opportunity to review your work…” Me:

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

After two years of pretty committed social distancing and a whole bunch of luck, we got our four year old her first dose of Moderna today. This fuckin rocks.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Wrote another sad dad story. Real proud of this one — it was a little tough to write. So grateful to @NecessaryFic for giving it a home.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Sat on the steps with my son tonight and taught him his first guitar chords. That was pretty damn okay.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

“It’s called Catcher in the Rye, T, it’s about some kid with weird hair who wants to try out for the baseball team but has a drinking problem, I don’t know.”

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

I just called the washing machine a “motherfucking no good piece of fuck,” if you’re wondering how I’m doing emotionally.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Two years into the pandemic and I still can’t figure out how to keep my mask from fogging up my glasses.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

1 year

@rsanderlin Oh man I’m glad he came around and that you didn’t ever end up making him wear the keyboard. (Speaking as someone who has also deserved to wear any number of household items at any given time).

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

4 years

@jemelehill @secupp @NYDailyNews I’m so tired of these people. They fully intend to find some reason to vote for Trump and then they will be fake aghast at him for four more years and claim that if Biden had just picked the right VP we wouldn’t be stuck with Trump again. It’s gaslighting.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Oh fuck you

MarketWatch

@MarketWatch

3 years

I’m 49, my wife is 34, we have 4 kids and $2.3 million saved. I earn $300K a year but ‘lose a lot of sleep worrying about tomorrow’ — when can I retire?

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

I just watched the videos of those parents begging the cops to go in after their kids and I think I’m going to puke.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

6 years

@ParkerMolloy For as terrifying as it is, the end of the world has turned out to be pretty fucking hilarious.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

1 year

@row_ie_argument Yeah, Jess, just…yeah. It’s probably more than half, honestly. It just bums me out so much.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

Wrote a story about tanker trucks, tire fires, and the good ‘ol conflict inside the human heart. Be honored if you’d read it. Thanks so much @xraylitmag for putting this out into the world.

HERO by Mike Wilson

But maybe it would be good in some way, this sudden death of his, maybe it would mean his son Jason would move back to town and stop chasing that stupid life as a YouTube street magician.

xraylitmag.com

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

Out here driving and listening to Carly Rae and Taylor like a god damn beta prince of this here highway.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

The number of booster shots I’m willing to get in order to help protect our 4 year old.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

Having kids is fun because my Spotify daily mix playlists are like Jason Isbell, Brandi Carlile, The Floor is Lava, Iron Maiden, OutKast, abc song with balloons, The Replacements, Motörhead, the ants go marching, Wilco.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Honestly, I’ve never respected an email subject line more.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

10 months

I did one and it got unexpectedly psychologically deep

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

Have not been able to stop crying this morning. I feel so distraught for those children and the adults who tried to shield them.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

There are few things more humiliating than prematurely…submitting a short story before it is ready.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

4 years

I just accidentally sent an email to a literary magazine with no subject and one word in the body of the email so this Monday is off to a great start.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

The 6 year old and 4 year old are playing with their toy doctor kit and the 4 year old just said, “Oh no I have coronavirus, help me doctor!” and started fake coughing her ass off. I’ve never felt more despair in my life.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

4 years

Have had kind of a shitty day, but I did finish the rough draft of my novel. So that’s nice.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

5 years

@ChiefsInsider So you want a guy who can’t win at Michigan to replace the coach with the 6th most wins in NFL history?

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

I’m really enjoying the new Saunders and I’m looking forward to the new McCarthy but I just have to say it — I really fucking hate when writers don’t use quotation marks for dialogue, man.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Literary journals rejecting my dumb stories.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

1 year

This is how we should respond to all public proposals from now on.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Wife: “Hey, you want to do a No Dessert February?” Me: “I love you but please don’t ever ask me that again.”

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

Hey I am curious literary Twitter, what is your favorite movie/film? I’ve been trying to get more film literate the last few years and am curious.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

9 months

I asked George Saunders to sign my copy of Lincoln in the Bardo “To my best friend Mike” and he did it.

Will Donnelly

@Will_Donnelly

9 months

What’s your all-time favorite interaction with a famous writer? Mine: I once played Wii Bowling with Denis Johnson at a party.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

4 years

Lost an old friend this morning to addiction. We were together every day when we were younger, played high school ball together and came up with our own heavy metal songs on guitar. He was homeless senior year and never had it easy. Heartbroken that he didn’t make it.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

Getting the ‘ol snip tomorrow morning. RIP to my sperms. We had a good run.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

1 year

Way back in 2007 when our oldest was born I wrote a book, signed with an awesome agent, and yada yada it didn’t sell. Now 16 years later I’ve written another and am looking for an agent again and my 16 year old bookish kid thinks I’m the coolest. She is so invested in the process

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Those of us who have junk drawers— why do we do this to ourselves?

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

My mental health advice is you should stuff down every bad feeling you ever have and then one day you die and you never had to feel those bad feelings.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

I know Jesus’ Son is the classic, but I’ve been rereading this one this morning and I think it’s the superior collection.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

1 year

Really hard to accurately say just how much losing a parent with whom you had a complicated relationship can randomly spin you out even years later.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

1 year

@DCTamE I guess that’s my thing. Like…guys it isn’t so hard to be baseline good!!!

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

For AWP ‘24 in KC I really want to do a reading at a barbecue joint. Just me in the corner reading and holding a plate of burnt ends.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Solidarity to all of you who wrote awesome books that didn’t sell for one reason or another, one of them being that you didn’t shoot someone with a machine gun.

Raw Story

@RawStory

3 years

Writing a book may be Rittenhouse’s only option to make money

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

4 months

Getting to the age where I’m starting to measure my life in unpublished novel manuscripts

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

Sorry to brag but I think I just wrote the best ever 7000 word story featuring a severed penis.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

1 year

Finished reading A Farewell to Arms for the first time and Hemingway is all like, “My baby died and my girlfriend was dying so I went to the cafe to get some lunch. I ordered eggs with cheese and drank a nice vermouth.”

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

4 years

@PaulCrenstorm I’m “making a sandwich with headphones on after getting laid while my boyfriend is getting killed in the other room.”

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

Normalize not rejecting my little short stories.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

3 years

When you finish the second draft of your novel.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

Guy a work asked if I wanted to see a picture of his dog and I am half deaf so I thought he asked if I wanted to see a picture of his DONG. I said “sure, why not” anyway.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

@mm_kaufman Damn — I’m sorry this got said to you. I think your experiences and accomplishments are incredible. You should be real proud of yourself and your people should be real proud of you.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

11 months

Was doing some writing this morning and my six year old walked up and said, “Will you read it to me?” And I told her no because it’s too much of a sad one. Then she said, “Oh, well don’t make it a sad one next time.” And I said okay.

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Mike Wilson (he/him)

@mikemwilson

2 years

If any of you ever starts a side hustle where you research agents and send out novel queries for depressed over-worked sad dad writers, let me know. I’ll be your first customer.

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