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Michael Colton Profile
Michael Colton

@mikecolton

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Following
599
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HOME ECONOMICS on Hulu/D+, A FUTILE AND STUPID GESTURE on Netflix, PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR. Jeopardy winnerer.

Los Angeles
Joined July 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
7 years
Unfortunate side effect of the scandal is this period-comma-apostrophe bullshit from the New Yorker.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
1 year
when you’ve never heard of “Meryl Streep”
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
Because they’re dumb?
@voxdotcom
Vox
4 years
Why are some people more susceptible to conspiracy theories than others? A social psychologist explains:
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
This is how crowded it is on a Sunday afternoon at La Grande Jatte. No distancing. We are so fucked.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
1 year
WGA writers! There’s a way to still get paid for your writing. Pitch your hometown newspaper on an op-ed explaining why you’re on strike. It helps move public sentiment and explain our position (most people outside NYC/LA aren’t paying attention). And you get a li’l paycheck!
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
5 years
Thank you. What a beautiful, thoughtful image.
@FLOTUS45
Melania Trump 45 Archived
5 years
Together we honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. #MLKDay
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
11 months
I spent a couple days off Twitter, so I’m just now catching up to the outpouring of love and support for our show. Making 42 episodes of Home Economics has been the best experience of my career, and that’s due to our incredible cast, crew and fans…
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
2 years
A FUTILE AND STUPID GESTURE premiered five years ago* and I still can’t believe we got this movie made and it’s sitting there on Netflix for your viewing pleasure! *anniversary was a few weeks ago but I forgot to set an alarm
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
5 years
RIP Gahan Wilson, artist/cartoonist for National Lampoon and much more.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
3 years
He’s finally made it
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
A+ parenthetical from @kevinroose
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
3 years
When you have a compelling message, you don’t need fancy design.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
@ChuckWendig At an ATM I found a card still in the machine with the name ORLANDO BLOOM. A minute later, Orlando Bloom came running up, looking for his card. I gave it to him, and in this pre-COVID era, he embraced me.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
3 years
13yo daughter started playing Curb Your Enthusiasm theme on piano. When I asked her where she heard that, she said “it’s from a meme.”
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
3 years
I have achieved Inbox Zero, please no one email me anything ever again
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
6 years
@kevinguilfoile @johnmoe I will be your first guest. I have a “PIZZA” Evernote file where I record data from my kids birthday parties.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
it begins
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
welp
@DEADLINE
Deadline
4 years
ABC Picks Up ‘Home Economics’ To Series, Siblings Comedy Comes From Michael Colton, John Aboud, Topher Grace & Lionsgate
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
11 months
Drinking the pain away with the greatest writing staff #HomeEconomics
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
If you subscribed to HBO Max and are now looking for non-Cheetah-related content, might I suggest CLOSE ENOUGH? LATimes - "Best of 2020." NYTimes - “funny and honest." The Hollywood Reporter - "loved the specificity of the jokes about L.A. real estate."
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
6 years
It took me several reads to understand the horribly hilarious copy-editing error in this otherwise great @guardian piece by @scott_tobias .
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
11 months
Though the show has run its course at ABC, I’m hopeful the Hayworths will pop up somewhere else, if only so I can continue to embarrass my real-life family. Love you all, and #LupeForever .
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
new country, who dis
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
4 years
I WON THIS ELECTION, BY A LOT!
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
I'm watching a Chinatown documentary and I've never seen a talking head positioned this way. Robert Evans is seated facing away from the camera and does the whole interview turned around, as if the crew sneaked up on him.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
6 years
I wonder what Trump’s doing with his 12-year-old son over the holiday weekend. Probably tossing a ball around, or hitting the beach, or maybe catching a movie. What a lucky kid to have a dad like that.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
2 years
We are returning for Season 3!!!!! Thank you to the fans for watching and posting, and to a broken economic system that allows us to mine income inequality for comedy! #HomeEconomics
@HomeEconABC
Home Economics
2 years
Time to get up and dance! The Hayworths are back for Season 3 🎊
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
2 years
Visiting my childhood home this weekend and have struck gold
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
1 year
Standing up for what’s right
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
Another flagrant example of both-sides-ism from the @nytimes . Cc @BCDreyer
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
I believe in this show so much I got my son tattooed. #CloseEnoughMAX
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
Normal day at the Farmers Market
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
3 years
Tonight! The season finale of #HomeEconomics ! Featuring guest star @NicoleByer !
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
6 years
Can’t believe I am doing this, but here goes… 1. This week’s Jonathan Lethem story in the @NewYorker , “The Starlet Apartments," appears to take place in 1992, based on the narrator heading to a theater for a double feature of RAISING CAIN and UNFORGIVEN.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
🚨CLOSE ENOUGH is now on HBO Max! Created by animation genius JG Quintel, it’s a surreal comedy about a couple, their daughter and their divorced roommates living together in L.A. (I produced a couple episodes of this season.)
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
2 years
New #HomeEconomics tonight! And through some kind of paperwork mix-up, @JimmyTatro ended up directing it? And delivered a fantastic episode?
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
It’s been six weeks. Does anyone know if he got his diarrhea check?
@mitchellvii
Bill Mitchell
4 years
Diarrhea kills 1.8 million a year. ONE POINT EIGHT MILLION. Where's my diarrhea check?
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
Tonight! I am on the television show Jeopardy. (7pm on ABC in Los Angeles, for other cities you're on your own.) Keep an eye out for the embarrassing moment when I tried to buy a vowel!
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
Do we have time for another impeachment? Something quick, Coney Barrett-style?
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
1 year
Thanks for all the #HomeEconomics love! We hope to come back too, as soon as the studios make a fair deal with the WGA. We appreciate all the fan support — keep it up!
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
1 year
Just call or email the opinion editor. They’re always hungry for content, especially with a local angle. And people do still read newspapers, especially the olds like me.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
6 years
8. I am the @KevinMKruse of '90s cinema.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
6 years
15. I showed my wife this thread and she said “What a waste of time.“ Does she think facts don’t matter?
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
“He has had exactly the presidency that his public life would suggest—a brazen win, followed by an inevitable decline born of laziness and pure hubristic dipshittery, and finally a catastrophic and vehemently denied collapse.” -⁦ @david_j_roth
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
2 years
#HomeEconomics season finale airs Wednesday night! Which means it’s time for a GAG REEL (posted in 2 parts)
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
1 year
RIP Bruce McCall, now mostly known for his New Yorker covers but who also did incredible work for National Lampoon.
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@nytimesarts
New York Times Arts
1 year
On New Yorker covers and elsewhere, Bruce McCall satirized the superrich by forecasting a plutocratic fantasyland of Bulgemobiles and flying double-decker Stratocruisers. He has died at 87.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
7 years
Daughter made menu for her fake restaurant and there's a section for dogs called "Doggy Style" and I'm not sure how to handle the situation
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
"" is an awful name, that kid is gonna get so bullied
@THR
The Hollywood Reporter
4 years
Here's what #OrlandoBloom and @katyperry named their first born child:
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
CLOSE ENOUGH Season 2 is streaming RIGHT NOW on HBO Max! This season slaps, as the kids say -- thanks to the efforts of @JGQuintel @calwong and a bunch of fantastic writers whom I will be highlighting on this thread...
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
2 years
Season 3 of @JGQuintel ’s CLOSE ENOUGH drops today on HBO Max! I worked on the scripts for a bit before handing over the reins to @thatbilloakley (in exchange for an Arby’s Crispy Fish Sandwich). So now I get to binge-watch this season as a fan!
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
7 years
My son is wearing long underwear from the “Larry King Backdrop” Collection.
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Michael Colton
6 years
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
Do not normalize this
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
2 years
Next week is the #HomeEconomics season finale, and I’m excited to announce… we are the first sitcom to ever shoot in space.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
3 years
Tonight! The premiere of HOME ECONOMICS! Multiple exclamation points! 8:30 on ABC, and tomorrow on Hulu!
@HomeEconABC
Home Economics
3 years
Money won't get in the way of family, right? #HomeEconomics premieres TONIGHT at 8:30|7:30c on ABC!
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
3 years
selling this as an NFT
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
1 year
Some #HomeEconomics writers out on the picket lines! (My friends are all just out of frame, laughing too.) #WGAstrong
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
This Thursday, February 25, I will be appearing on a televised quiz competition known as JEOPARDY! I cannot give any spoilers, other than to say I am sporting a quarantine haircut from my wife.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
THREAD
@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
How the fuck is it August
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
Yes, the world is going to shit, but at least my kids are into The Far Side
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
I didn’t recognize her name at first, and I legit thought this was a comedian making fun of Pence.
@DLoesch
Dana Loesch
4 years
This is my favorite Pence image, when he walked out at the DMZ in a bomber jacket and glared at the North Korean military.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
Star Wars is for children.
What is your most controversial Star Wars opinions?
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
3 years
EIGHT pangrams? In this economy?
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
Family movie night
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
3 years
Here’s @karlasouza7 rehearsing tonight’s  episode on Tracksuit Thursday
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
6 years
Writers in the room today did not know who Teri Garr is and I have never felt so old.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
7 years
Domhnall Gleeson glares at @mrmattwalsh
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
2 years
Guest-starring @DannyPudi in TWO separate outfits — and in one of those outfits, he holds TWO separate phones! #HomeEconomics
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
2 years
#HomeEconomics is back tonight! Written by @Boozan (her sitcom debut!) and directed by @JayChandrasekha (pretty sure not his sitcom debut!)
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
A little bit softer now
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
yes the goal is to cancel Hispanic culture and not just buy a different brand of beans
@tedcruz
Ted Cruz
4 years
Goya is a staple of Cuban food. My grandparents ate Goya black beans twice a day for nearly 90 years. And now the Left is trying to cancel Hispanic culture and silence free speech. #BuyGoya
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
This has been a bit of a week for me (hashtag blessed), but what I am most excited and proud about is this trailer. April 7 on ABC!
@HomeEconABC
Home Economics
4 years
#HomeEconomics brings you three siblings and their families trying to find common ground – even though they couldn’t be more different. Coming this April to ABC!
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
How the fuck is it August
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Michael Colton
4 years
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
3 years
So excited we get to continue telling this story! And I can keep using this cute hashtag emoji #HomeEconomics
@Variety
Variety
3 years
‘The Wonder Years’ and ‘Home Economics’ Get Full Season Orders at ABC
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
My co-workers are making sure this doesn’t go to my head
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
2 years
So Tucker Carlson has been obsessed with M&Ms for decades. Here he is in 1996 Might Magazine posing as “Offree Mugumbe” and calling up Mars Inc. to complain about color discrimination
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
8yo daughter: "If I had a time machine I’d go back to see if the first croissant tasted good." Me: "That’s what you would do if you could time-travel?" Daughter: "What am I supposed to do? Kill Shakespeare?"
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
3 years
Today my wife and I celebrate 17 years of marriage, traditionally known as the Cicada Anniversary.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
Really great advice here from Ross Douthat. Super super helpful.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
I'm back on Jeopardy tonight! Tune in to see if I continue to win by losing!
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
3 years
When @caitlincmcgee and @thesheertruth found out that  @valpettiford used to dance with Bob Fosse, oh you *know* they asked for a lesson #HomeEconomics
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
How the fuck is it September
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
5 years
@emilynussbaum Not a transcription error, but still my fave:
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
Raymond Chandler Bing: “Could trouble *be* any more my business?”
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
3 years
It was a joy to work with @danicamckellar and she even signed my daughter’s book #HomeEconomics
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
2 years
I worked with Gilbert Gottfried on a Microsoft campaign where he was the voice of Clippy the paperclip. He was a pleasure to work with, and true to form, he took some sandwiches from the recording studio home with him.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
9 months
Gotta say, this is smart casting
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
7 years
If you're in Sundance, come to a live performance of National Lampoon Radio Hour at 6pm at the Dell Den on 528 Main Street! With Domhnall Gleeson @joelmchale @thomaslennon @emmyrossum @mrmattwalsh @jondaly #AFutileAndStupidGesture
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
2 years
I love our fans 💚💚💚
@PopCulture
PopCulture.com
2 years
#HomeEconomics ' Fans Rally for Season 4 Renewal After Season 3 Finale Airs
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
2 years
Fun fact: The chef's kiss emoji was designed specifically for this episode of #HomeEconomics
@HomeEconABC
Home Economics
2 years
It's the spiked hair (and the love in their eyes) for me ✨ #HomeEconomics is all new Wednesday on ABC. Join the party!
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
3 years
That is a wrap on Season 2 of #HomeEconomics ! Pictured: Confetti. Not pictured: The best cast and crew in TV!
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
6 years
14. Wow! Just heard the Special Counsel’s Office has issued a rare statement saying Lethem’s story is “not accurate.”
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
I usually don’t give a shit about award-show snubs but how was Nicholas Hoult not nominated
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
4 years
Reading this on Deadline, my first thought was that he has bought the rights to Covid-19
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
2 years
Remember the 21st night of September!
@HomeEconABC
Home Economics
2 years
Pop the champagne, season 3 of #HomeEconomics is almost here 🍾 See you September 21 on ABC!
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
3 years
One of my first jobs was editing Peter Bogdanovich's "Movie of the Week" column in the NY Observer. And by "editing," I mean I would call him to pitch some commas, and then he would talk to me about Orson Welles and Howard Hawks. A true pleasure.
@latimes
Los Angeles Times
3 years
Peter Bogdanovich, the revered director of touchstone 1970s films such as “The Last Picture Show,” “What’s Up, Doc?” and “Paper Moon,” died Thursday of natural causes at his Los Angeles home. He was 82.
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@mikecolton
Michael Colton
2 years
PINOCCHIO (2022) dir. Guillermo del Toro
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