Michael Patrón @michaelpatron0 Twitter profile

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

1 year

@ChrisDu83309085 Imma be honest here, I'm a bit too ignorant to know exactly WTF is going on at any given time.

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Last Seen Profiles

@stw_pdg

@franklysundiler

@d_goryainov

@stwmaniax

@MAJ671114

@DrVriend

@BigBoyPouch

@BatteryManly

@Osprey0

@Pv

@stw_pdg

@xtxmarkets

@miitopianon

@celshadedd

@JulPaka

@franco_tie

@jayharvv

@sev_giliii

@itsTods

@harborhawks

@stwmaniax

@i_justlikecats

@ljd216

@traitorpov

@KIANDR0

@gaziantepolusum

@stw_pdg

@gaziantepolusum

@pablodalpo

@Mr_lion_

@bai_magla

@talal_200200

@sugarlung_info

@HansrajMeena

@inc_pius

Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

Car wouldn't start this morning, get to work late and our internet is down. Lol. I love this shit. Unlike @KDTrey5 I actually enjoy taking the hardest road...it's basically just problem solving practice.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 months

Lately people have been trying to raise my rates and I have just been saying "No" and it's working. You guys should try this. Lawn guy called and said they were going to raise my monthly cost 30 bucks and I just said "No, I am not going to pay that" and they just kept...

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

1 year

Had to fire 2 ppl today. These were employees with 2+ years of tenure. They were remote and clocking in and using software to mimic work but not actually working - prob hundreds of hours of this. I liked these people and they were well liked within the company - Even though...

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

Slack is the "open office concept" of software. People are gonna look back and be like "why did we think it was a good idea to have a chat app with 50+ channels notifying us every 10 minutes?"

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 months

my price the same. lol. Software company tried to raise my price 500 bucks and I said the same thing. I don't think I ever realized this could work so good.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

1 year

they were straight up taking my money and making everyone's job harder, I liked both of these people quite a bit. The whole situation just threw me off. I do not give 2nd chances on something like this - feels pretty similar to being cheated on TBH.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

7 months

Someone messaged me this...8M to ZERO...taking this man's whole business away. POOF. Amazon is for sure the final boss of Ecom.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

@KDTrey5 Don't really enjoy having a shitty car, lol - I enjoy problem solving. When a car breaks, you can fix it - you don't need to trash the car and then go get another one...and then trash that car and go get another one. If you keep trashing cars, maybe you're the prob, ya know? ;)

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

1 year

@HireFireTeam Every1 gonna act like I'm a monster - Time Doctor - we screen record. Only checked logs bc 1 person was never replying to slacks and missing deadlines - then noticed 4 hour+ blocks of no typing (just switching tabs with auto software). Was issue since depts were HR and CS.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

1 year ago I was paying 27,500 for shipping a 40ft HC container. Today I am paying 6,500 for the same containers. The steamship lines bending everyone over was such a huge contribution to inflation but no one seemed to notice or care.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

I've never seen someone say "I MADE XX this year" and the amount is actually net profit - it's always revenue. That's not how any of this works. lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 months

@FE2ESQ HVAC bois are the final boss - they know they have you by the nuts when its 95 degrees and humid and you need a 10.00 part and 30 min of labor. lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

@cactusguy1234 @KDTrey5 What about this? lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 months

@iamlisakirk Nah, the problem is my lawn company sold out to a pest control company so now they want to raise everyone's prices while offering minimal service.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

Closed on my first warehouse today - 25k sq ft...still have no idea what I'm doing. If the bank thinks I have enough money to pay this mortgage then I suppose it's true. Lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

Someone gotta tell me how TF cities keep building sports stadiums with tax payer money - I love watching sports but fuck these teams. We're basically taxing poor people to build a free house for a billionaire and then charging the poor people 50 bucks for a house tour. But...

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

I just insured 11 employees in The Philippines for less than 900 a month TOTAL. Will cover more than 90% of their costs. No complicated as fuck paperwork. US Healthcare is a complete fucking joke. This post is inspired by a @girdley tweet.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 months

@jordanjoecooper Heard of this but have not read yet - added to my list. Maybe I should just write my own?

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

Getting gas yesterday & this guy in a new 60k Jeep tells the clerk to put 10.00 on his pump. He comes back in a min later saying the pump doesn't work, so the clerk says she'll run it again. This dude says he needs to check his bank account balance first. Priorities. Lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

Rich dudes with avg looking wives/girlfriends (6-8s) seem more trustworthy than rich ppl with hot wives/girlfriends (9-10s)...what's up with that? Anything less than a 6 is kinda a wildcard IMO. Y'all no this is true, it's just that no one is saying it.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

7 months

Here is why sellers are so angry about Amazon fees: We spend YEARS building up a business. We hire, purchase inventory, create systems and have operating costs. It seems Amazon's goal is to take our margin down to zero. Below is a somewhat common path a seller can...

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

4 years

My company sells on Amazon, we are hiring for someone with Amazon experience. This candidate seriously said: My experience is I am an Amazon Prime member since 2013. lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

I feel like I should call my childhood best friend that I haven't talked to in 25 years and ask him if he's been using my name for security questions the same way I use his. Would be disappointed if he's like "Excuse me, who TF are you?". Maybe this tweet is too niche.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

LONG thread about money I made the last year or so and how I feel ab it and current direction. This isn't a brag but I have money and don't bullshit any of you or market anything. In biz for 10 years and always net under 300k - even while doing more than 7m in sales. Then...

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

Idk why I chose to die on this hill but I'm never gonna say "venti" when I order Starbucks, I always say "large"...makes me feel in control of something in my life.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

So Amazon Basics has copied about 10 of my items. Today I find out they copied one almost exactly. They even used 90% of the information in my bullet points to make theirs (even in the same order). lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

1 year

I know NOTHING about RE but my mom has been flipping mobile homes for the last 3 years - flipping about 10 a year in middle of nowhere, Florida - these things are going for over 100K. Her secret (which sounds insane) is she is putting top end shit in mobile homes...

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

My revenue will be ab 16M this year. Net will be around 1.8M. Expenses up 400%, Working 70 hour weeks. Top item on Amazon is down. Have 18ish employees now. Does Twitter want to tell me how much I am allowed to take out for myself? Based on @Molson_Hart s post, I should....

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

@girdley These replies are weak AF. Here is a true one: Teachers are paid enough. Florida high school teachers make 60K avg a year over 39 weeks. Call it 1,600 work hours (41 hrs a wk). That's 37.50 an hour. I know they all claim to work WAY more but it's mostly bad time management.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

I've been leaving work early to play basketball at the park lately. I don't tell my employees, I don't tell my GF. It's not that I am hiding anything, I'm just trying to hoop it up and not be bothered. Feels good.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

1 year

@MehtabKarta Yea, these were some of my most liked employees so I was pretty shocked and team also shocked - usually it's the sales guy everyone already hates. lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

"I made 100M last year on Crpyto. Sign up for my $1,000 Crypto Course because 100M just ain't enough" lol, yea okay buddy.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

Heard you bois like P&Ls...THREAD: Notes will be roughly in order from top to bottom. 1. Income is either flat or trending down for every channel we are on. Amazon is down much more than others as a couple hero SKUs just shit the bed on us this year. These 2 SKUs made....

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

4 years

Here is a pic of the line of containers at Ningbo port in China. Notice how the actual port is not in the image? lol. I have truck drivers that have been waiting in line for FOUR days. Supply chain crazy as hell right now.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 months

@angelsforlove my lawncare company got sold and this is the first thing the new company did. lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

Told my GF I'd take off work on Saturday to go to brunch with her. The place she chooses has a fucking dress code...FOR OUTSIDE BRUNCH. Lol. 85 degrees in Florida and imma be wearing a sports jacket to eat some 30 dollar eggs and toast.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

1 year

@HireFireTeam I mean, TD is just a safety measure to us - we don't check it unless we see an issue - it did take me 2 months to notice it. lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

I'm a top 2,000 Amazon Seller and have no idea WTF I'm doing but I've got at least 5,000 "Amazon Experts" that follow me so....I think someone is telling a bit of a lie here, lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

@realEstateTrent Couple rules take out 95%: 1. If the guru is good looking, it's a scam 2. If they have a pic with a car or plane, it's a scam. 3. If they have NY or BOS accent, it may not be a scam but they're gonna be annoying.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

My biz has been losing money and I think it was making me anxious. So I got some anxiety meds and now my business is losing money and I don't even care. lol. More to come on this later...found the process of getting some meds interesting and still not sure how I feel ab...

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

The amount of people going on vacation this month is insane - almost every partner I work with is traveling. IMO this is a great time to: 1. Invest in airline stocks 2. Schedule home invasions/robberies.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

Car started this morning.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

11 months

Had 250,000 stickers made for 3.5K. Include one with each product, don't tell customers. Cost is 1.4 cents per - have multiple customers buying 100 dollar product and leaving a review about how they love the sticker. lol. This is too easy. if you value a 5 star review at...

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

Amazon is raising FBA fees 5% with just 2 weeks notice. Not only are they raising them but they also decided not to show this on the announcement page - it instead only shows when you click "help". I think every seller should be enraged about this. I truly believed Amazon...

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

5 months

THIS IS WHAT SUCCESS LOOKS LIKE LADIES, GET IN LINE! LMAO.

Sean Frank

@SeanEcom

5 months

Want proof selling on amazon is hard as shit? These are the two leading voices of amazon entrepreneurship today. None of the course boys made it. None of the dropshippers survived. Just two men, totally unemployable in any other field, fist fighting fees daily. My heros,

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

7 months

Let's start the conversation about Amazon "Low Inventory" fees which are the next slap in the face for Amazon sellers...These fees will roll out on April 1st. For those of you that have not yet planned, you are about to get completely bankrupted from these. Here is some...

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

Me 15min after convincing an employee to stay even though she put in her 2 week notice:

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

1 year

@thinktypewrite The restroom of the internet. Good analogy!

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

6 months

Started going to a therapist (all is good). 2 Weeks in she tells me I may have some abandonment issues (This seems deep - lets talk ab it!). Then, at the end of the session she says she is retiring next week and can't see me any longer - lmao, what? Is this a test? lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

EVERYONE: MANUFACTURE STUFF HERE IN THE US!!! Me: Emails 10 companies to build me a 20K Conveyor belt. These companies: ________ I don't think manufacturing is the problem that needs fixed in the US, it's work ethic. After 10 days I have received an email or call back...

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

6 months

So I've been with a girl for 10 years. She is moving out in 2 weeks - breakup is mutual, no big blow out. She saw my P&L and said my net % was a joke. Tried explaining it was these new Amazon fees but she was having NONE of it... Below are a few things I need to figure out...

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

Have a container sitting at Savannah port for 2 weeks - paid over 2K in demurrage (storage) bc port is too busy. After cancelling 2 times, trucking company finally delivers today - got my temps hired, ready to unload. We pop this baby open and it is another company's.....

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

I don't usually stereotype but one group you can't trust is: Dudes that line up their facial hair perfectly - that guy gonna try to sell you some bullshit for sure.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

5 months

Update: bought it. Had it a few hours, sure it's cool but here are some reasons it sucks: 1. I swear I can see the gas gauge literally move when I floor it. 2. Gotta plug it in after each use...no it's not electric and I don't really get it either. 3. I feel like such a...

Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

5 months

Officially entering my mid lifer. Someone tell me why I should not buy this McLaren...

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

I've sold over 50M of stuff on Amazon over the years (don't worry ab the profit, lol). Comment "TEACH ME HOW" below and...absolutely nothing will happen, like, nothing at all.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

@girdley I'm calling BS on this. Let's assume "nearly 100%" is actually > 80%. 58% of Texas is vaccinated so what I am hearing is that > 22% of vaccinated ppl are claiming they would quit over a mandate? That makes zero sense. Sounds like your buddies are not sharing actual data....

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

4 years

Chase begged me to bring over my personal banking so I bring over 300k from Wells fargo. I then ask them for 300k loan on something. Underwriter denies it bc I got caught with weed back in 2005. Lol. What year are we living in?

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

1 year

@JoeCassandra Cahoots...they're friends outside of work.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

I watched a 90 min doc on Frank Lloyd Wright yesterday. I know nothing ab architecture but this dude was living 200 years in the future. Insane he was designing shit in the early 1900s that holds up extremely well today.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

@oliverflips Sell that and use the profit to pay someone to remove that wallpaper. Lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

8 months

Having a net profit of 500K in a business that requires inventory feels way more like 100K profit than 500K.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

7 months

"Mike, why are you tweeting so much about these new Amazon fees?" BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE IS! The gurus sure AF ain't gonna do it and other sellers must have missed the emails and not be able to do the math. These new Inbound Placement Fees and Low Inventory Fees are broken...

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

1 year

Ppl said "Mike, no one gives a shit about your small brand, stop acting like it's big" - Did I listen? Fuck no - I printed 50 shirts with cool designs with my brand name and sold zero of them. The point of this? Use high quality shirts so you can wear them when they dont sell.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

Ppl living on Mars? Calm down, let's first try to figure out how to make Bluetooth devices pair 100% of the time.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

You know what bugs me? Every time athletes give a ball, jersey, etc to some kid in the stands, that kid is in the front fucking row sitting in $2K seats. They have rich parents, give that shit to some broke ass kid in the nose bleeds, not some little shit named Graham.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

I deserve more since It's MY money that is leveraged over 1M? Are my employees going to let me borrow money when my sales tank? Have they worked 70 hour weeks for 10 years to get to this point? Do they work weekends? The comments in that post by Molson are a complete cancer.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

Heard you guys like P&Ls. Here's January - Oops, lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

1 year

@landforce IDC how "nice" this guy is - selling ppl a pan for 345 bucks is just a scam. This dude should be embarrassed - IMO just because it can be done, doesn't mean it should be done. What are your thoughts on this?

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

4 months

This is what it looks like to own a business that has to carry physical inventory. lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

He is a biz idea:. A chain of fancy hotels with regular bathrooms...with a regular door - no frosted glass, no pocket door with clear windows, just a bathroom where you don't have to stare at your family while doing your business.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

@p_seb99 @thedopebohemian @KDTrey5 Anyone can hoop dude - there ain't some basketball gatekeeper on the playground.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

You ever look at IG and see all these "hot" girls and wonder where they are in real life? Well, they don't look like that in real life - the same way you look at Twitter and allegedly everyone here is a millionaire - same fake shit, different platform. If you're feeling like...

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

2022 P&L ROUND UP THREAD: Let's go through my P&L for last year and some other random shit...First up, let's check income streams... 1. Amazon still 90%+ of income but funny enough they are only 74% of gross profit. Amazon MX via the NARF program is no f***king joke. 2....

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

My current landlord is showing my warehouse to potential tenants bc I am moving. This guy she was showing it to just stopped at stared at this Kim-Jong Cage picture we have had on our wall for like 7 years and forgot all about. lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

4 years

My P&L for the last 2 years. There are 3 main reasons net is up significantly: 1. Covid 2. Decreased Marketing (42%) 3. Increased pricing (18%) Still expecting a Covid crash. Trying to diversify ASAP. Still live off 65K - all other funds going back into the biz.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

Besides a house or car (and no work related items) what's the most expensive gift you've got yourself? Was it worth it? For me, I got this 2.7k ultra modern couch that sits low to the ground. It was the most uncomfortable piece of shit. Damn I hated that couch.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

6 months

My relationship with my GF is on the rocks (thanks Amazon placement fees!) but little does she know I just found the book of "sex coupons" she got me 8 years ago. I'm sure this will play out well. Lmao.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

Judging by the anger over gas prices, I feel like 90% of the US is driving a 1999 Hummer 60 miles to work each day. Where TF and ya'll driving that the cost of gas is cracking the top 10 of your annual expense categories? lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

1 year

2020: 2m profit 2021: 1.2m profit 2022: -260k profit 2023: 1m estimated profit I have no idea what I'm doing. Every line is getting longer. Lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

So you're telling me the company that spent prob 250k+ on these dumbass billboards isn't profitable? When Carvana goes bankrupt, I'm buying one of these at auction. I don't give AF what my HOA says.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

So SpaceX employees wrote an open letter saying they don't like Elon and then Elon fired some of them. I don't even like Elon but I don't see the issue here. If someone working for me says they don't like me, I prob don't want them working for me? Lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

I'll donate 1k to a charity of Kevin David's choice if he can produce video proof showing he owns an Amazon account that does half the sales I do. I'll donate another 1k if he has video proof a client of his has done 25% of the Amazon sales I do. What do you say @OffKevinDavid ?

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

To that plumber that quoted me 350 bucks to install a new toilet and told me he couldn't fix mine: Fuck you man, I fixed it for 7.00 in under an hour. Lol

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

IMO Amazon is in an ABSOLUTE DOWNWARD SPIRAL and needs Bezos back STAT. They are logistically a mess, profit is gone so they are laying off tons of ppl while trying to raise fees left and right - they are thinking very short term IMO & I don't think it plays out good for them.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

Thread: HERE WE GO. I post 100% of my wins and losses on here but been a min since I have had any big issues. Below is a rough budget I put together real quick to see if I will ever have money again. So here is what we have: 1. Currently have 810K in debt via biz LOCs....

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

I closed on 1st CRE property in early July and was like "Wow, what a pain. I will never do that shit again" and then turned around and signed an LOI on another place last week. lol. This is addicting, kinda like NFTs but this will actually still be around in 5 years.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

Took my GF to my safe spot yesterday (Bball court at the park). Well, that was a mistake. lol. I thought I liked the park or shooting hoops. Come to find out what I actually like is time to myself.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

1 year

@liamremote It was not - I did it manually - would love to hop on a call with you sometime soon to go over a couple ideas. We chatted a few years back actually....back in 2016ish. lol. I'll Dm you.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

My finances: Just thought you guys may find these random notes interesting.... I made a couple mill back in the pandemic. Was more money than I knew what to do with and I didn't have time to tax plan so got f**ked on my tax liability. Anyways, I bought a warehouse (230K)....

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

1 year

Customer left a 2 star unverified review on Amazon. I found this dude on Linkedin and signed up for LI Premium just to send this dude a message. lmao.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

Last week some high school kids pulled up to the park on a moped and asked to play 2v2. Im a gown ass man and lost a bball game to high school kids. Lol. Was so pissed I almost wrecked my new moped on my way home. Going back for revenge today.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

10 months

17 Days of Amazon Sales...where does the money go? 1. 1,039,066 in revenue 2. 308K of that is COG (inventory costs) 3. 62K in sales tax (that's a wash) 4. 225K in FBA fees and 148K in referral fees 5. Another 102K in Ads 6. 37K in storage fees....

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

7 months

If I go out of business based on these new Amazon fees, my new company will just be a service that helps launch Amazon sellers on every platform that is not Amazon.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

"Did you accidentally unsubscribe?" lol, yea - I accidentally found the unsubscribe button in the email footer, clicked it, accidentally opened a new webpage, clicked again (another accident) to confirm but that was all an accident. Just one big misunderstanding here. lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

I made this chart for business owners. Just get through the first few years and your chances of having a heart attack or breakdown drop drastically - no sources, just made this up.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

Has anyone here ever checked the authenticity of a college degree for a new hire? That's what I thought. Lol.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

If I buy my GF a Peleton bike, will someone on here promise to buy it from me in 3 months when it's no longer being used? Idk why but I irrationally hate this company...just seems so scammy and idk why my gf wants one.

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

Amazon suspended my listing for violating my own trademark that is registered with Amazon. To get reinstated they are making me provide a letter from the rights owner (myself) stating I can use my own brand. This is the 2nd time over the years I've had a listing suspended...

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9

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

3 years

Me to my girlfriend: I HAVE 5500 TWITTER FOLLOWERS! MY GF: Get in the fucking car. Me: okay, sorry.

3

0

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Michael Patrón

@michaelpatron0

2 years

A. Making fun of my profile pic B. Calling me an alcoholic C. Calling me a dickrider D. Asking why I think of a man when I wakeup E. Calling me a racist (?) I just thought this tweet was halfway funny - I see some ppl are super passionate about KD though....

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