Michael Hogan @michaelhogan Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@ToshiPrati

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@_Zioles

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@bokeplokalmalam

@at52733760

@031002_sh

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@CoachMValley

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@Theralogix

Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

FFS. Tom Meighan from Kasabian assaulted his girlfriend in a "sustained attack", dragged her back into the house by her ankles and a terrified kid dialled 999 - and he gets community service. What sort of message does that send out about domestic abuse and women's safety?

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 years

“There’s one thing I’m interested in and one thing only and that’s catching bent coppers” - A bus driver tonight

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

6 years

Daughter, 7, got a little book in a party goodie bag called 1001 Ways To Save The Planet. Just got panicked message from birthday girl's mum. Turns out there's a page on "detoxing your sex life" with "animal-free bondage gear and solar-powered vibrators" #northlondon

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 years

Bukayo Saka was "a model student" who got four A*s and three As in his GCSEs, less than three years ago. Wonder why people are at pains to claim that his social media posts are ghostwritten, when they wouldn't say this about certain other public figures and famous people🤔

Paul Embery

@PaulEmbery

3 years

Please remember, whenever you read a ‘heartfelt statement’ from a high-profile footballer, it has almost certainly been ghost-written by a press officer. Not a criticism, but we should recognise how these things work.

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

Wild swimming = swimming Slaw = coleslaw Side-hustle = part-time job Mac 'n' cheese = macaroni cheese Long read = feature Bone broth = stock Running = jogging Staycation = staying at home, not holidaying in the UK, which is a holiday

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

ALSO ALSO Tom Meighan's own statement yesterday: “Following today’s announcement, I just wanted to let you all know that I am doing well..." Oh, that's a weight off our minds. How about the woman and child? No apology? (I'm a bit cross, can you tell?)

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

7 months

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 years

Channel 4 have changed Thursday night's schedules in tribute to #SeanLock . Stand-up special Keep It Light will air at 10pm. A classic episode of 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown follows at 11pm. Streaming service All4 will also create a compilation of his TV appearances #telly

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

Also, Kasabian's announcement yesterday about him leaving the band for "personal reasons", eliciting sympathy from many fans, when they knew full well he was due in court less than 24hrs later for domestic violence... Cynical and shameful

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

5 years

16 items middle-class people own: Sommelier corkscrew, Daunt Books tote bag, yoga mat, Scrabble, Maldon sea salt, three copies of White Teeth, Aeropress, Diptyque candle (never lit), bottle of Limoncello (never drunk), Ladybird for Grown-Ups loo book, 6 Gu ramekins for nibbles

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

7 years

These new “Please hold on, the bus is about to move” announcements on London buses, several seconds late, when the bus is already moving, aren’t annoying AT ALL, OH NO

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

5 years

Yes, that’s enough pics of you looking old now, thanks

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 years

They called him “The Rapist”. They’re still closing ranks, deflecting and defending. They’re genuinely suggesting women flag down a bus if they’re unsure about an officer. And Cressida Dick once said #LineOfDuty was an unrealistic portrayal of institutionalised police corruption

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 months

Saw Manics and Suede at Ally Pally last night. Shout out to the drunk bloke next to me, bellowing the wrong lyrics to everything. My highlight: “If you talk about this, then your children will be next”

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

This is a year old but it's pretty stark, set out like this: 20 headlines where Meghan Markle has been attacked for the same things for which Kate Middleton has been praised

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

5 years

Ed Sheeran and Stacey Dooley really need to mow their lawn

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 years

“We’ll be left holding a sprat when we should’ve landed a mackerel…He will lead us to the big fish.” MOTHER OF COD, TED #LineOfDuty

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

8 months

#LizaTarbuck doing a great job on Radio 2 right now, presenting a poignant "Remembering #SteveWright " edition of Sunday Love Songs with messages from listeners who've had dedications read out over the years. Here's my piece about how great she is

Why Liza Tarbuck is the funniest person on radio

Claudia Winkleman, Zoe Ball, Scott Mills and more share the joy of Tarbuck’s freewheeling mayhem on our airwaves

www.telegraph.co.uk

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

5 years

I hope mourners at the mighty #JudithKerr ’s funeral drink all of daddy’s beer, then go to a cafe for sausages, chips and ice cream #RIP

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

I love Bear. He brings out the beauty in people. Today two working class men independently described him in surprisingly poetic language. “Apricot” coloured said one. “Cinnamon” said another.

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

1 year

"Myself, Josie, Dermot, Alison, Craig and every single person on this show will continue to work hard every single day to bring you the show that we love." Surely I can't have been the only one thinking: who the merry chuff is Craig?

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

5 years

Please buy magazines and newspapers if you want them to survive. A newspaper costs about the same as a croissant, a mag is about the price of a posh coffee but both are culturally so much more important #keepprintalive

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

Sun-Pat is better than upmarket peanut butters. Cadbury’s is better than posh artisanal chocolate. Normal crisps are better than gourmet crisps. That concludes today’s meeting, thanks

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

2 years

I note that Mike Tindall and Zara Phillips also held hands at Westminster Hall today but are getting no stick for it whatsoever, while Meghan and Harry are getting loads. Wonder what the difference is🤔

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

1 month

See her what?

Lee Radziwill

@RadziwillLee

2 months

Jennifer Lopez is one of the few stars still committed to the Old Hollywood code. Husbands come and go, but you will never see her crack. She always gives you JLo.

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

Trump has just pardoned Tony Gates, Lindsay Denton, Matthew “Dot” Cottan, Danny Waldron, Roz Huntley, John Corbett and Gill Biggeloe

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

Dan Wootton: "Can we blame the coronavirus pandemic on Meghan Markle? If not, can we anyway?"

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

6 months

Resounding, well-deserved win for Cambridge in the #BoatRace but the fact that several members of the Oxford crew have been throwing up with e-coli is damning. A disgrace for such a high-profile event. Government urgently needs to clean up our rivers

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 years

Reminder that the BBC didn't split up Charles and Diana. Nor did the BBC cause Diana's death. Many of those spluttering with outrage are far more culpable. Many of them also have a vested interest in knocking the BBC

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

"HOW LONG BEFORE BLM PULL DOWN CAPTAIN TOM'S STATUE?" thunders Richard Littledick in the Mail, despite the fact that there is no Captain Tom statue and he wasn't a slave trader

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

10 years

At least Madonna might get £250 from You've Been Framed :( #BRITAwards

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

5 years

The lies seem to follow you around the room

Michael Deacon

@MichaelPDeacon

5 years

Nigel Farage has just unveiled a portrait of himself entitled "Mr Brexit". Jim Davidson is now giving a speech to mark the occasion. Happy Brexit everyone

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

5 years

Quote from the much-missed Jeremy Hardy in last week’s ⁦ @ObsNewReview ⁩ tribute

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

5 months

Laurence Fox and Dan Wootton both promising to leave London, which is a shame

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 months

So hang on. He's gone from the pouring rain without an umbrella, to a poorly organised event in a brewery, to the shipyard where the actual Titanic was built? And he's done all this in a private jet, while wearing tiny trousers and laughing nervously?

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

People who preface tweets with "Sorry I've been quiet", "Going to take a break for a bit", "Just popping back to say..." etc. LITERALLY NOBODY CARES. We're not all sitting around, twiddling our thumbs and tapping our watches, waiting until you grace us with your presence, you tit

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

9 months

Textbook #BoxingDay scenes on morning dogwalk. Kid's new remote controlled plane got stuck in a tree. Dad threw up a shoe to dislodge it. That got stuck too. Small crowd gathered. Passer-by turned out to be a tree surgeon. Climbed up. Shook branch. Plane fell out. We all cheered

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

1 month

#FreddieFlintoff ! Climactic cricket match! Tears in eyes! Transformational TV! Here's my ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ insta-review of tonight's #FieldOfDreams On Tour finale

Freddie Flintoff’s Field of Dreams on Tour, review: truly transformational TV

As made evident in this final episode, the cricket ace has changed the lives of his working-class mentees – he is the very best of Britain

www.telegraph.co.uk

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 years

Sexytime will today be known as "Hancock's Half Hour"

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

7 years

**BREAKING** Olly Murs confirmed not as a reliable news source but a behatted bantersaurus and cod-reggae crooner who looks like Tim Lovejoy with mumps

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 years

Rylan is a great presenter and a lovely, funny guy. He's also been open about his recent mental health struggles. Have the media learnt nothing? Leave him alone and hold the right people to account

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

9 years

Glastonbury 2016 headliners confirmed as Coldplay, Adele, Muse, Cath Kidston, Kirstie Allsopp, Downton Abbey & a Keep Calm & Carry On poster

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

6 years

Gawd save us from the wisdom of people who apparently know better than one of our best TV dramatists, joylessly grumbling and nitpicking at the #Bodyguard finale 🙄 It was a thrilling, nation-uniting, watch-it-live hit. Leave it be

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

High drama at homeschool as daughter, 9, accidentally types "busty" rather than "busy" into Google image search

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

2 years

Apart from the goals and final whistle, my moment of the match was Jill Scott clearly shouting “Oh fuck off, you prick” when a German player tried to get her booked, then the BBC having to apologise to viewers who can lipread #Lionesses

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

Stavros Flatley

Andy Ryan

@ItsAndyRyan

4 years

Which parent and child between them produced the greatest body of work in the same field? I'd go with Carl and Rob Reiner. Maybe Kirk and Michael Douglas. Not an Amis fan, btw.

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 months

Lovely to see the brilliant Brad named performer of the night at #ThePiano final. Such a talent. Entirely self-taught. A great example of what kids in care can achieve, given the chance. Here's my chat with him

‘Police stop me because I look like a stereotypical lad’: The Piano’s unlikely new virtuoso star

Brad Kella had never had a piano lesson when he auditioned for the TV talent show at the age of 22. Now he’s in the final having wowed programme makers and audiences alike

www.theguardian.com

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

I doubt the writer of the broadsheet piece I just read about "healthy kids' packed lunches" (courgette & olive muffins, beetroot & tahini falafel, pea & pumpkin seed hummus) has ever met an actual child

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

Tom Hollander's "A Life In The Day" in today's Sunday Times Magazine is a classic of the genre

Tom Hollander on sleeping pills and hugging pillows

Hollander, 53, was born in Bristol and raised in Oxford. He was a member of the National Youth Theatre and read English at the University of Cambridge. He has s

www.thetimes.com

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

5 years

Has Robbie Williams just had a massive tax bill or something? He’s plugging his ropy Christmas album on every TV show going. He’ll probably be on Sunday Brunch tomorrow, gurning over an omelette, then on Countryfile, bumming a wellington boot

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

5 years

This piece about Jacob Rees-Mogg’s dietary habits somehow isn’t terribly surprising

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

8 years

Bowie, Prince and Victoria Wood currently jamming on a space sexfunk mash-up of Let's Dance, Let's Do It and Let's Go Crazy

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 months

ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO ALL THE FOOTBALL?

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 years

Handy/tantalising reminder that tonight’s #LineOfDuty is an absolute white-knuckle classic. Mother of God, maybe even the best episode since series 3’s “Urgent exit required” finale. I’m interested in one thing only and that’s you being on the sofa with a stiff drink at 9pm sharp

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

5 years

When did dogs become "doggos"? Was this at the same meeting as macaroni cheese became "mac 'n' cheese" and coleslaw became "slaw"?

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

2 years

It's one year today since the #FriendsReunion and all those Matt LeBlanc/Irish dad memes💚

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 years

With two couples down due to Robert Webb's withdrawal and Ugo Monye's back injury, #Strictly presumably has airtime to fill tomorrow. Only one thing for it: massive Dave Arch solo. Perhaps flying over the audience, wearing a cape and playing a keytar

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

5 years

The only people who use the phrase "playing the race card" are racists

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

7 years

It's not mac AND cheese, it's macARONI cheese. It's not avocado toast, it's avocado ON toast. It's not slaw, it's COLEslaw #MyManifesto2017

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

2 years

I didn’t have the Duke Of Cambridge pegged as a football fan #Lionesses

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

Nobody mentioned the fact that when the children finally went back to school, they'd be home again within seven hours. This is rubbish

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

6 years

THREAD. Not really. Just wanted to make you sigh wearily

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

I recognise 12 of these 20 "celebrities" and that took some effort. How many can you?

MasterChef UK 🍴

@MasterChefUK

4 years

Who will be crowned Celebrity MasterChef 2020 this summer on @BBCOne @BBCiPlayer ? @JohnTorode1 and @GreggAWallace discover which of our contestants has the palate and skill to chop and slice their way to lifting the Celebrity MasterChef trophy. #MasterChefUK #CelebrityMasterChef

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

People who reply to tweets with just a GIF, usually from a selection of about 12 (blinky guy, tea-spitting lady, clapping, eating popcorn etc). Bit annoying?

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

10 years

Bit unfair of Paxman to tell Miliband he's a "North London geek" but not tell Cameron he's a "glassy-eyed Chipping Norton knobshiner"

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

2 years

Sam Ryder is a lovely, waggy golden labrador of a man #Strictly

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

Middle-aged white men posting live DJ streams on social media is the new sourdough

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

5 years

From Ocado magazine. You know, for those times when you have leftover gooseberry ketchup and fancy a really weird pizza

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 years

“Crap suits, dad cars and never got your round in.” Kate Fleming knows how to cut a man to the quick #LineOfDuty

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

This is astonishing. Thought it was a spoof at first: "The awkward lessons of my luxury lockdown in Kensington"

The awkward lessons of my luxury lockdown in Kensington

Pandemic shows us we owe the most to the people who surround and support us

www.ft.com

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 years

I'm assuming/hoping that #LineOfDuty airs as scheduled tomorrow because Mother of God, it's a BELTER of an episode. Honestly an all-time classic. The first half-hour is pretty good, then it all goes RIGHT OFF

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

Petition to stop people referring to literally anything - shoes, chairs, onions, bicycles - as "these bad boys"

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

5 years

Letter in today’s Guardian. Ain’t that nice?

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 years

"My passion for wine has developed over the years, having been introduced to wonderful and rare red wine nearly 30 years ago! I am thrilled with the results and I hope you enjoy these wines as much as I enjoyed the process of creating them."

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

6 years

Mark Francois is a human fart. A shaved Penfold with bedwetting issues. A blustering pub bore puffball. A sweating estate agent with short man syndrome. A semi-sentient gammon joint. A pig that's run squealing into TM Lewin's washing line. A horse penis with a face drawn on it

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

9 years

This is amazing. Man on news imitates dog attack

criisreverte's post on Vine

"MAN IMITATES DOG ATTACK ON THE NEWS" FUCK THIS GETS BETTER EVERY TIME I WATCH IT

vine.co

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

Relatable content in today’s Guardian food section

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

Yeah, Oprah’s good but I can’t help thinking that Mrs Merton would have been better #HarryMeghan

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 years

Two ladies on our road just rang the doorbell and shyly gave us a load of fresh-cooked, still-warm food because they're breaking their #Ramadan fast and wondered if we'd like to join in. They also enquired about the health of our dog, who had a knee op recently. People are good

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

Just seen this nugget: In 1811, Jane Austen agreed to look after her sister Cassandra’s mulberry trees while she was away. The 35-yr-old novelist killed all of them. “I will not say that your mulberry trees are dead,” she wrote to her sister, “but I am afraid they are not alive.”

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

I, for one, don't wish Ghislaine Maxwell well

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

I got a shout-out on #Strictly ! When the marvellous @claudiawinkle said "Thank you to Michael for suggesting The Comversational Conga" - that was me. I'm now going to retire from public life #scd

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

6 years

Advance warning! Tonight's #LineOfDuty is a belter. Action-packed with plenty of twists. It didn't float up the Lagan on a bubble and I'd recommend it to an officer at least one rank senior #telly

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

8 years

From now on, the Evening Standard will be known as "Gideon's bible"

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

5 years

@rufusjones1 Not all heroes serve crêpes

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

Apparently if any government ministers don't tweet in support of Priti Patel, she's going to wait for them after school and give them a dead arm right on their BCG scab, throw their briefcase over a wall and spread rumours that they wet the bed

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

2 years

In England and Wales, TWO WOMEN are killed by a partner or ex-partner EVERY WEEK. Regardless your opinion of the people involved, nobody should be cheerleading on behalf of an abusive man or gloating about a woman's punishment

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

When a wet tissue on a London pavement reminds you of the EastEnders titles

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

9 years

This is amazing: Pete Tong reads out his website address, 20 years ago (via @alexispetridis )

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 years

Thornberry has zero time for your shit

george griffiths

@georgegriffiths

3 years

Emily Thornberry is the Meryl Streep of political TV appearances

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

3 years

This is my excited expression at news that Robert Webb is on this year's #Strictly #scd

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

9 years

Got an email about processed meat causing cancer but I think it's just spam

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

6 years

Moved by #AndyMurray press conference. If he does retire, he can be proud. Went from Dunblane survivor to first Brit male Wimbledon winner in 77yrs. Won US Open, Olympic gold, Davis Cup, got to World No.1. Admirable man too: stoic, resilient, drily funny, calls out sexism. Mensch

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

Fellow men! Please try shutting up and listening. Sometimes, just sometimes, your input is not required. It's a maverick idea but try it

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

10 years

Famous people whose names sound like fonts: Adele, Kardashian, Brandon Flowers, Tulisa, Miley Cyrus, Aguuilera, Brookstein, Ariane Grande

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

In 2012, Ben Bradley wrote a blog post about how “our vast sea of unemployed wasters” should have vasectomies to stop them having so many children. When this was later brought to light, he faux-pologised and said his views had since “matured”. Eight years on, they clearly haven’t

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

8 years

Acts now tipped for Trump's inauguration: Wet Wet Wet, Wee Papa Girl Rappers, Waterboys, Yello, Slash from Guns'N'Roses #watersportsgate

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

The man behind the walk! Inspiring interview! Eye for the ladies! Here's my 5-star insta-review of #PiersMorganLifeStories with Sir #CaptainTom Moore #piersmorgan

Piers Morgan's Life Stories, review: Captain Sir Tom Moore a true gem in this moving, inspiring...

It made for feel good TV at a time when positive news is all too rare - this was a one-off show about a one-off gent

www.telegraph.co.uk

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

5 years

Five jobs I’ve had: Nobody Cares And These Are Rarely Funny

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Michael Hogan

@michaelhogan

4 years

He was in the Territorial Army. This is basically Gareth from The Office boasting about how many ciders he had down Chasers with the lads

James Cleverly🇬🇧

@JamesCleverly

4 years

Anyone who’s been in the forces knows the Super-Saturday drill. You can go into town, have a few drinks but don’t kick the arse out of it or you’ll be answering to the RSM/CO in the morning.

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