I swear the only way Gex X pushes through all of this awfulness is that we were absolutely convinced that we were going to have a thermonuclear war in our lifetimes, and this still feels slightly more manageable.
I realize that we all dislike the new Twitter owner who says stupid things, but I think need to spell this out a bit more for folks as the Uncanny Magazine publisher: the death of Twitter would decimate the science fiction and fantasy short story ecosystem.
FRIENDS OF CAITLIN! SHE HAS BEEN DISCHARGED FROM THE HOSPITAL AFTER 51 DAYS!!! She is listening to her favorite band,
@TheNewPornos
, as we escape from Chicago. Thank you, everyone. ❤️❤️❤️
Dear Friends and Family of Caitlin:
Caitlin passed away at 1 am this morning in the Lurie Children's Hospital PICU. We never left her side, and she was made comfortable for her last 10 hours. She listened to David Bowie, Neko Case, and the New Pornographers. 1/4
The meeting is over. It was very hard, but everyone is in agreement. Caitlin is going home in a day or two for whatever time remains in her amazing and wonderful lifetime. Thank you for all of the love and support. ❤️❤️❤️
I am not sure I could be as brave as Caitlin, who just made it clear how she wants to die and how she doesn’t want to die. The is such a phenomenal young woman. We love her so much.
Caitlin update. She is still sleeping. It was thankfully another quiet night. There have been a lot of tears here. From fear. From gratitude. We don’t know how much time she has left, but we want to keep giving her the best possible life filled with adventures.
This is the hardest thing I've ever shared. We have been crying since this went up. We love you all so much. Caitlin loves her SF/F aunts and uncles so very much. Thank you. <3
If you are an SFF short story writer, the sky is falling today. This Kindle news couldn’t come at a worst time with what is also going on in social media. We were all barely scraping by. This is an extinction-level event for the ecosystem unless we all figure something out.
Caitlin update. She's okay today. Watching baseball and periodically napping. She smiles when we read your messages to her. She is being very brave about everything and just wants to be home.
This is such a hard Christmas. We are home and together, which is wonderful. Many good things happened this year. But also, we have spent months doing palliative care for our daughter with a terminal diagnosis. Lynne is recovering from surgery. I am so exhausted and sad. 😔💔
There is absolutely nothing that prepares you as a parent to sit in a conference room with a bunch of wonderful, sweet, knowledgeable medical experts who all agree your child is dying. It doesn't matter if you've always known that day is coming.
Caitlin update. Not good. She threw up her seizure meds last night. Today, two hard desats into the 40s in an hour. She turned blue during the first one. Please continue to keep her in your thoughts and prayer. 💔
Caitlin and
@lynnemthomas
only made it to 10:30.
Lynne and I cried a bit tonight once Caitlin was in bed. It will take many miracles for 2023 to not be one of the worst years of our lives.
Thank you for being there for us. <3
Caitlin update. Palliative was here discussing our decision. Caitlin made it very clear that she agrees with us, and this is also what she wants. The Palliative nurse practitioner let us know he felt this is the right decision for her and us based on Caitlin’s quality of life.
I truly believe that short stories are still *important*. They’re vital to the development of speculative fiction as an art form. They aren’t stepping stones to novels or bingo squares on the way to other things. Exciting, notable things are still happening in magazines & anthos.
The home for Caitlin’s urn arrived. It is now where her bed used to be. We’re filling it with different things that celebrate the adventures and love she experienced. 💔
Lynne and I will forever be missing a large piece of our hearts.
Some of her family and friends set up a GoFundMe. We are fine, but please feel free to use this if you are looking for ways to help. 4/4
Something amazing happened yesterday at Caitlin's IEP that we are just now processing. It was determined that Caitlin's comprehension of literature is at *grade level*. It took us finally finding Yes/No switches that work for her, but here we are. She proved it to them.
We received the call that Caitlin’s flameless cremation happened yesterday. Her cremains will be here soon. 💔
For those of you who have contacted us about help, we are fine, but please feel free to use Caitlin’s GoFundMe for any help you wish to give.
Twitter is by far the most important tool all of us have to reach the readers of our online magazines. This is where folks discover the online stories. This is also where folks discover the ways to financially support the magazines (Patreon, Subscriptions, Crowdfunding).
One last thing! None of us chose Twitter as the short fiction ecosystem center anymore than book publishers wanted Amazon to be the ecosystem for book sales. This is where the readers who will pay money can be reached. Trust us, we have tried all of the other ways to reach folks.
Please send all of your thoughts and prayers. Caitlin just crashed hard. Code Blue after she had a desat into the 20s. She also turned blue. She is okay now. It was all caught on a video EEG, so hopefully we will have an answer soon. All of us are pretty shaken.
@lynnemthomas
It’s been 7 months since Caitlin’s terminal diagnosis. She’s still here and enjoying her life. In that time, she’s been to an AEW show, Disneyland, and two Doctor Who conventions. She has seen many people who love her.
None of the Twitter alternatives have anywhere near the reach to the readers that Twitter has, and they are unlikely to suddenly build to that level. This is a very thin-margin industry. If there is a mass exodus of the SF/F community, I guarantee multiple to mags will close.
Caitlin was the best of all of us-- the most pure, loving, fun, and kind person any of us will ever know. She fiercely loved life and the people who loved her. She brought all of us joy, and will be very, very missed. 3/4
Caitlin died two weeks ago. We miss her so fucking much.
@lynnemthomas
and I are up and down emotionally. We push through some thing and then grief will sideswipe us hard.
Also, why is there no word for parents who lost a child? Like widow/widower or orphan?
Caitlin update. HER CALCIUM IS NORMAL! All of her labs look good today. They are running many, many tests on her today. Caitlin remains on track for a discharge on Sunday or Monday. *fingers crossed*
There is not a single Twitter alternative that makes me feel like the Twitter overlapping communities building and small arts business synergy will ever happen again. This is such a disaster for SF/F publishing happening in slow motion.
Things took a bad turn for Caitlin. We are getting emergency transferred to Lurie Children’s Hospital in Chicago. Please keep Caitlin in your thoughts and prayers.
Lynne and I will forever be missing a large piece of our hearts.
Some of her family and friends set up a GoFundMe. We are fine, but please feel free to use this if you are looking for ways to help. 4/4
Caitlin update. She is off the vent, and is breathing room air successfully without any support for the forst time since the ER on 10/27. She is very tired, but otherwise doing well.
The Palliative Care meeting was hard. There wasn't even a discussion of whether or not this was needed. As soon as they heard Caitlin's story, we moved right onto what they will be doing to make everything easier for her and us. It's still sinking in what all of this means.
Caitlin's fever and tachycardia are worse. We are driving to the Lurie children's hospital ER. All of the good thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
@lynnemthomas
Caitlin update. After some ridiculous delays, Caitlin’s body is finally leaving Lurie Children’s Hospital and is off to the flameless cremation center.
@lynnemthomas
& I are very much not well. No parent should have to watch their child die, though thank god she wasn’t alone.
Lynne and I will forever be missing a large piece of our hearts.
Some of her family and friends set up a GoFundMe. We are fine, but please feel free to use this if you are looking for ways to help. 4/4
Hi friends. I know when y'all say get more rest, you're being loving & compassionate. More rest is not an option, and it's stressful to keep hearing that. I have duties with Caitlin, Uncanny, and my household that can't be done by anybody else (trust me). I am just venting. <3
So apparently, some of you are fond of Caitlin and want her to have a very good birthday week. Thank you. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Did you know that Prime delivery guys have a special carrier for such situations? 😂
Caitlin wants you to know how much she appreciates all of your Tweets of love and support. Also, she just finished The Black Cauldron, and she thinks this series is great. 💖🦄🚀💖
Just had the call with
@lynnemthomas
's doctor. The surgery is over, and all will be okay. The surgery was a bit trickier than expected in a few ways (Lynne must have huge pain tolerance based on what was found), but everything should be absolutely fine.
Thank you to everybody who has been so kind to us. This has been very difficult, and every kind word and gesture means so very much to us right now. <3
Caitlin just signed, “Thank you for food, friend,” to her nutrionist, amd I am tearing up a bit. (They have worked together for 15 years.) I can’t even begin to tell you how happy and hopeful I am at the moment.
@lynnemthomas
It is never a good thing when a doctor’s eyes are tearing up. 💔💔💔
Nothing on the rapid MRI. There will be a family care meeting with the doctors and palliative about where we go from here with Caitlin’s care.
Caitlin update. It was a quiet night. She is still sleeping. No word yet from the doctors, but that is to be expected. It will take awhile for everyone to go over the MRI.
I talked to the crematorium folks. They seem nice. They didn't try to upsell or pressure. That task is over, other than some paperwork. I'm glad I won't have to figure this out when we're in a much worse frame of mind.
Caitlin update. She was very happy last night that her aunt and uncle are here, but is very sleepy today and possibly a bit sore from months of hospital beds. The desat alarm went off once last night, but only for a moment.
She also loves her new creepy robot cat.
We managed a year of palliative care, and Caitlin is still with us and enjoys her life.
GoH at two conventions.
Won a Hugo Award.
Kept Uncanny Magazine running on time and at its usual level even with the palliative care and numerous new problems facing magazines in general.
Caitlin remained unresponsive and seizing throughout. (Our Caitlin was already gone before they removed her from the machines.)
@lynnemthomas
and I are as devastated as you might imagine. We’re home now waiting for all of the cremation arrangements to get finalized. 2/4
So yeah, it was DAY TWO before someone with Covid exposed the entire classroom of medically fragile children. For those of you worried about sending kids back to school, you were right. :(((
Caitlin update. She is fine today. No desats. No emesis. No major pain spikes. It is the complete opposite of the last few days, and completely unexpected. We will take it. ❤️❤️❤️
Caitlin update. She's had two significant desats since she got home from blood work. It's clear these aren't slowing down much.
The crematorium owner stopped by in between to have us sign all of the paperwork. That is done. 💔
FRIENDS OF CAITLIN!!! SHE IS GETTING DISCHARGED TODAY AND WILL BE HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS!!! (The MRI has to wait due to pneumonia recovery and anesthetic issues.)
@lynnemthomas
Caitlin update. We have escaped the hospital!!! Caitlin gets antibiotics for her UTI at home, and will be back for surgery to remove the stones in February. Tonight, we sleep in our own beds!
FRIENDS OF CAITLIN!!! Guess who just got the news that all of her labs look great, her kidneys are working properly, and that we don’t need to change anything with meds & fluids? THIS GAL!! Great news 8 days before Caitlin’s 19th Birthday!!
@lynnemthomas
Caitlin had her third waking desat today. Very much not good. 💔
She is listening to an early birthday gift right now— Chronic Town by R.E.M. It remains excellent. I am boring her with stories of my youth and cruising with my best friend, Owen, while playing it on cassette.
Caitlin update. No desats last night, but she remains extremely tired and is sleeping constantly. We hoped being home would perk her up a bit, but it hasn’t yet. She’s just very, very weak and distant. 💔
11 days since Caitlin passed away. Everything remains difficult, but
@lynnemthomas
& I are pushing through. All of the
@UncannyMagazine
work is on schedule. We're continuing our redecoration of Caitlin's room into a sitting/memory room instead of a palliative care room.
Caitlin is watching the Karloff version of The Mummy this morning. She is tired, but okay. I am making different medical and crematorium calls this morning. It feels like a lot. 💔
Uncanny Magazine has been open for 4 days, & we’ve already received 1000 short story submissions and 100 novella submissions. We can buy 4 to 10 stories and 1 novella.
We have received some AI submissions, but not a notable number.
Caitlin update. Very rough day. Five destats so far, including one where she turned blue. We met with her pulmonologist, and he's working on upgrading some of her equipment. She is listening to a new album right now and is all smiles.
Caitlin update. She’s had 18 waking and sleeping desats in 24 hours going into the 30s twice. We are praying that her brain improves today, and remembers that breathing is a thing she needs.
@lynnemthomas
& I are raw and exhausted, but doing our best.
Caitlin update! She is in good spirits. They are hoping to get this G-J replacement done sometime this afternoon. They are also getting some bloodwork. *fingers crossed* we should be home for dinner.
I see we have entered the phase of shaming the publishers for being foolish to work with Am*zon. A reminder that Kindle accounts for somewhere between 70-80% of the eReaders, & sells around 80% of the eBooks. Magazine subscriptions from KPP automatically appear on Kindles.
I don’t know what to say anymore here. We are pushing through the best we can. I miss my daughter so very much. I am very lucky to have special people in my life who are there for us.
I probably should post an update. Lynne and I are pushing through the best we can. We’re hitting the depression stage of grief, but we’re managing to remain functional. We miss Caitlin very much. This is very hard. Mostly, we are escaping into old TV shows.
So yeah, we are making a double-issue of a magazine and doing palliative care in two hotels in the coming days so our daughter can have magnificent adventures, and it's possible we are feeling a teensy bit stressed.
Amusingly, they *finally* need Caitlin’s medical files that I have been saving in a file cabinet for 19 years. MY INSTINCTS TO NEVER THROW CAITLIN STUFF OUT WERE CORRECT!
We are at the local hospital ER. Caitlin is not responding fully to the IV emergency meds and is still having seizures. This is very bad. Please keep her in your thoughts.
Three months ago today, we were asked to make the hardest decision of our lives. No parent should ever have to make that decision. (Especially as there wasn't actually another choice.)
I miss my daughter so very, very much. 💔💔💔💔💔