Maya @maya_is_trying Twitter profile

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Maya

3 years

Not how I imagined this day, but, the day has come! My name is Maya, a trans woman with rough hands and a soft heart, on HRT since November 24th, 2021.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

4 months

This week, with help from my brother, I came out to my mom. Mom reacted as I expected: worried, confused and shocked. She told me I'm her child and she loves me regardless, and spent the week educating herself on trans identities. 💜 My social transition is now complete! ☺️

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

So much happened today: we are pregnant (unplanned, but desired), she says she is fine with me transitioning and being her wife and a mom, and that she thinks of me as a woman. I'm shocked. I must be happy, but I don't know what to believe.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

8 months

Do you ever deadname yourself? I sometimes do, just in my head. Then I'm in a moment of disbelief that I get to be Maya.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

My first step out of the closet: came out to a friend/collaborator today. He was great and congratulated me! 🥹

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

@jackie__AK Wish there was a way to help them overcome the stubbornness. We the trans, know well how hard it could be to get out of that ditch.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

On a job application or your CV, would you indicate that you're trans? If so, how? If not, why? Thanks!

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

9 months

I started transitioning at 41 after decades of struggle. But still when GCs say we shouldn't leave gender to self-identification because any man can use that to enter women's spaces, I pause and ponder. What's wrong with me?

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

@cassesque @estrozeneca Great answer! Gonna use it when I get to my hormonal issues in my 40s.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

It's official people, we landed on a name for me. Maya is here. Thank you for calling me Aida all this time. I liked being Aida, but she becomes Maya now.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Humans aren't made to stare at little phone screens all day. Humans are made to stare at large desktop screens all day.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

If you still think gender dysphoria is a sickness, please start paying us life-long sickness benefits. (You'll still be wrong, but we can use the money.)

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

As a trans woman I AM indeed, a biological woman. My brain is also part of my biology. Limiting the biology of womanhood to reproductive organs and excluding the brain is perhaps the most explicit form of misogyny.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

1 year

@jeremycarl4 News flash: a white dude DISCOVERS openly trans women have transition histories. The said dude is yet to learn the first things about trans identity.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

I'm still in disbelief. Just a week ago my prospects of transitioning were grim, and now I need to prepare to be a mother and a wife. I'm worried it may all suddenly fall apart and leave me completely ruined.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

One year on HRT today! Progress has been painfully slow, but constant and noticable.

Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Not how I imagined this day, but, the day has come! My name is Maya, a trans woman with rough hands and a soft heart, on HRT since November 24th, 2021.

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1K

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Thank you everyone for your kindness. Nobody out there knows about any of this yet. You guys are my precious inner circle. Love you all and wish you all the power and support for being and becoming your authentic beautiful selves. 💜💗

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Reminding the ignored obvious: Every trans person's transition path and goals are different and unique. I'm not sentenced to look or behave like some other trans person who is a very different character than I am. They are valid, and so am I.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

It may be considered impolite by some, but I block followers who don't tweet at all. I'm here for the community we have, not to be watched for entertainment.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

I want to come out to a handful of my friends and ask them to keep it a secret for a few months. Would that be an unfair burden on them? 🤔

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

Frankly, the best transition aid is money. I don't suspect time will change that.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

My wife was holding and talking to our newborn daughter today and pointed her to me and said: Look at mommy! 🥰🥰🥰🥰 Anyway, if you need me, I'll be in heaven for the rest of the day!

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

Since the beginning of my transition 8 months ago, I somehow feel like I've got the power to do tons of things that I couldn't do before, NON of them being gender-specific. I want to study new subjects, learn new skills and try different lines of work. Too bad I'm 41 already!

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

About to step into OR to attend the c-section delivery of our baby girl. Wish us luck, a lot of it.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Within 20 mins in the dog park today, I learned that one of our friends, a medical doctor, has started a transgender clinic in our town and another friend, a nurse, is happy to see parents supporting trans kids early on. What is the universe telling me?

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

Came out to our closest couple of friends. Both got shocked, and were supportive and respectful. She asked a lot of questions. He maybe asked one. The day after, she's texting my wife, expressing sympathy and support! And I wonder: if my wife is a victim, what that makes me?

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

Being trans is the hard-wired obligation of being self-conscious about your gender, and thus your entire being, every day and every hour of your life. The pain is inevitable, and constantly present.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

I feel like most people get their ideas about gender identity the way teenagers "learn" about sex from porn. I'm working on a 20-second intro to the subject, for use on good people in my life who aren't trans-literate, and to whom I'll be coming out before the year ends.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

I propose a trans tax: If you're rocking any aspect of your transition, share your hard-earned know-how. I see way too many of you looking fantastic, and I know it took time and effort, and it's highly nontrivial, but I don't see a proportional amount of advice being shared.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

Apparently coming out is a chain reaction! I gotta pace myself. I gotta pace myself?

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Feeling good, despite turning 41 today! 💃

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Dear cis men, I tried for decades of my life and failed to disguise as one of you. Now please tell me: you never wished to have nice boobs and soft skin?

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

I was deeply religious till ~29, had my first drink at 30, went on my first date at 31, didn't even know about LGBT+ people till ~20 .... Anyway, for all the misinformation I was fed, at 40 I'm proud to be out to myself at least. Happy Pride Month! 💜🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

I'm anti-wax. Waxing is painful and messy. As for vaccination, oh, I'm all for it. Got my 2nd shot yesterday.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

1000 years from now, archeologists can identify remains of today's TERFs from their little thick skulls.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

Reminder to self: the path to your ideal life is non-ideal. Sadness and crying are allowed. Hopelessness is not. Think, move, and be kind.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

4 months

@Opiumbrella I am in woman spaces, where I belong. You consider staying out of human spaces, as you're not good at it.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

@zekedrinkswater Every thing got better. OCD became manageable, confidence level went up, real-time reasoning power increased, tackling hard projects felt and proved to be possible.... AND I'M NOT EVEN SOCIALLY OUT YET!

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Imagine you must pack overnight and leave your house, because other people are coming to destroy it and they kill you if you are home. Imagine the war, human's worst invention.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Homophobia was an integral part of my culture growing up. As for transphobia, well, trans people weren't even recognized enough to be hated.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

I used to despise pretty much everyone who dressed up, even if on occasions. I could not get the idea of feeling good about oneself, as I hated myself so much. I'm now only beginning to think like a normal person. Turns out the normal me is a woman.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

10 months

OK, so, I came out to my sister. She took it very well. 🥰

Maya

@maya_is_trying

10 months

Panic mode: on a group video call with family, to whom I'm not out, sent everyone my new Linkedin profile by mistake. Everyone is quiet now. 😱

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

I cannot respond to every kind reaction to the news of the start of my HRT. But I just want to say how grateful I am to all of you unmet siblings who support me in my journey and I hope I can give back and spread a fraction of your goodness. Thank you! 💜💙💚💛🧡❤️

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

I often find myself forgetting that by coming out to someone, I'm not asking for a favor. Rather, I'm giving them the privilege of knowing something very intimate about me. It's their flaw if they can't accept it, not mine.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

I have nothing against porn or porn accounts. But I don't generally follow porn accounts, because that is not what I'm here for.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

When I finally get to attend my first Pride, I'll tear up like a sentimental bitch. For most of my life I was fighting me, the real female me. I was carrying and maintaining an ugly shell over something good and real. I have a lot of crying to do and I will cry.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

4 months

@EddieBacon9 Poor you, not being able to grow out of your rigid shell. My mom rocks, growing and discovering at a very senior age.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Any good trans-centric podcast recommendations? Inactive podcasts with good archive are also welcomed.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

9 months

I still use male bathrooms and don't correct people when they 'sir' me, while inside I'm dying to be perceived as a normal woman. As if half a life hasn't been proof enough to myself that my dysphoria is real.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Laser booked! 5 sessions for now.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Dear penis, I love you, but why can't you just be a vagina?

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

Please don't call them "gender critics". Don't legitimize them, don't sanitize them. They're transphobic people, and they don't have half a brain to criticize rationally.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

If you want to be a woman, you ARE a woman. Have a nice weekend y'all.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Spironolactone prescribed! I was almost disappointed at how easy it was. I'm raged that I have to wait for at least another month for fertility preservation before I can take the first pill.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

My testosterone level is in cis female range now. Estrogen level is close to cis female range, after only 7 weeks of being on patches. Doctor just doubled the estrogen dosage. Experiencing nipular goosebumps rn!

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

13 days on spiro: The morning thingy is gone, but also my distaste towards manhood has largely diminished. I feel like I stepped out of the prison, looked at it from outside and suddenly it looks ok! Welp!

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

The odd thing about the lovely partner who chose you as cis and straight and now accepts you as trans, is that they now have to identify as gay. Hard to know where to begin the conversations on this.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

If you've been on progesterone, even temporarily, what did it do for you?

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

I'm worried that HRT make me enjoy Coldplay.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

8 months on HRT now, six months of which with estradiol patches. Long way ahead till full social transition, plus other things that life keeps throwing at you, BUT, I've never felt happier in my adult life.

Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Not how I imagined this day, but, the day has come! My name is Maya, a trans woman with rough hands and a soft heart, on HRT since November 24th, 2021.

115

23

1K

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Thinking about all Ukrainians and the anti-Putin Russians tonight. Hoping for some miracle to minimise the atrocities. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is more terrible than war.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

We are now an exclusively-mechanical-keyboard household. Nobody needs to apologize for the noise she makes while she types.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

I never quite agreed to use TERF as a self-consistent concept. If you exclude trans women, you are NOT a feminist. Transphobia is essentially a form of patriarchy, the most cowardly form, which targets the most vulnerable women.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

@TheLetterTen That transition is fast and it starts with surgeries. It caused me great pain to make my partner understand that the truth is the exact opposite.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

I love women, and I love being loved as a woman, and I don't even understand how anyone else won't want both of these, and that's how I know I'm a trans lesbian.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Reminder: I'm transitioning to be better to myself and to others. I'm transitioning because my life matters too, and I want it to make the most of it. I transition because I'm a responsible human and recognize my true self is a woman. I'm not apologizing for that.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

I've been called "dad"several times over the last few days, and it didn't make me feel anything. Am I really trans? Let's see: after witnessing the hardships of labor, do I still wish that I could get pregnant and give birth? YES!

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Some day we'll overcome transphobia by understanding its roots. That's the day we will see it's mostly sexism sold under a different label.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

I'm not out, but, we visited our midwives' clinic today and I notice trans flags in every room, and in different formats. Still wondering if I should have brought up the topic...

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Happy Friday everyone! I've made zero progress towards transition this week. Will initiate a talk today; can only go one of the two ways!

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

4 months

@genericeddie Your cringe and hateful response is just a testament to genuineness of my identity. My very being is potent enough to trigger you. I hope you get the help you need. 💜

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

I'm scared of becoming an old woman without having ever been a younger woman. I'm not scared of aging as a woman. Just need the freedom to be the woman I am.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

A friendly reminder to unfriendly transphobes that "transgender" is an adjective; "transgendered" is a wrong word to refer to a trans person. YOU can be transgendered, if a trans person does you, but you wish!

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

I stared in the mirror for a couple of minutes today after shower and wondered if transition is right for me. I couldn't see how to carve a woman out of what was in the mirror. I'm mostly over it now, but such moments do occur.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

I could never get these many followers in my cis-presenting life, not with my personal stuff, and nor with my professional stuff. I'm here to make friends, to express myself and to learn from others. I guess being myself is paying off. Thank you all! 💜

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Happy Monday y'all! Just wanted to say that I feel very good about my womanhood and my transness today. A little support goes a long way. 💜💃

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Dogs are bred to melt your heart, or at least my heart.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

@KestralWrites @CantiUnplugged I would take that trans flag off the wall. It shouldn't be used by those gatekeepers. 🤬

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Spiro dose increased to 200 mg/day. Estradiol patch prescribed. Inducing lactation with domperidone was discussed and will be considered. I may get to nurse my baby! Overwhelmed. Crying. It's a unique form of loneliness when you cannot share your joy with your immediate family.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

My testosterone-induced hair loss began very early, when I was in high school. For the past 10+ years my coping mechanism consisted of shaving my head and denying how much dysphoria it gave me. I still shave my head, but won't lie to myself anymore. I wish I had full hair.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Not every human deserves a dog, but every dog deserves, at least, one good human.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

I mean, I'm transitioning. I'll be on blockers soon, I actually have the prescription. What is craving for pasta past midnight in comparison?

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Whether you are cis or trans, never trust your cats.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

Humblebrag: my boobs are outing me! 😩

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

A couple of lovely friends to whom I'm out, just invited us to their wedding in July. Must mention that the bride's sister is also trans. I feel like a very real and necessary deadline is suddenly imposed on me.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

Received these lovely words of affirmation today: "Take care of yourself; you are a bitch now!"

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

The handful of people to whom I'm out (including my human) call me Maya now, and I feel spoiled every single time.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

@han_bnan @CelineB72799470 And I respect you & your colleague for standing for all of us! 💙

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Feeling sexy is a right. Being sexy is a privilege.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

I've said this before, but I feel like emphasizing it: HRT did NOT solve all my mental/emotional problems. But it made them much clearer to me, so I could start working on them with crisp vision. I don't think one can ask for more help than that in life.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

2+ years into pandemic and all* movies and shows in production still picture "normal" conditions, as if these two years didn't and won't count in human history. * all that I know of

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

If transphobes knew how hard we had to fight to overcome internalized transphobia, they wouldn't bother messing with us.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

I too, was exposed to the Harry Potter franchise in my younger years, and found it boring and underwhelming. Now, sure, JK Rowling is a transphobic fascist, but I also blame the poor taste of the public that made her rich and gave her an underserved platform.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

Sure, I'm not out socially, but, is it too much to expect from the pharmacist who fills my estradiol prescription, not to call me sir?

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Update: I came out to my gender therapist neighbor today. They were very kind and supportive and referred me to another therapist. I emailed the admin to book the first appointment. Turns out most of the barriers are inside me, not out there. Thank you all. 💜🏳️‍⚧️

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

Diversity is a process, not a state. It's an ongoing commitment to learning, discovering and growing. It implies a humble admission to blurriness of our vision, and a continuous attempt to refine it.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Fertility consultation at 7 am tomorrow. Wish me lock, so I can get an appointment for fertility preservation sooner and start my HRT.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

2 years

Good job Tennessee, staying true to your values! Why would trans identity and existence ever be tolerated in the birth place of KKK?

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

Dysphoria always came back, no matter how hardly I repressed, no matter how many times I purged, ... Transition isn't easy, but I think it will be the easier path, everything considered.

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Maya

@maya_is_trying

3 years

I'm realizing that for 2.5 decades a lot of my feminine energy has been directed to sexuality, as it was the closest available channel to womanhood, and that then led to disappointment and shame. Can't wait to see what HRT will do to that, but knowing it is already helping.

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