John Lurie @lurie_john Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

If you are a man who is upset about the Gillette commercial, you should smile more. You are so much prettier when you smile.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

10 months

Apparently it is bad for your career to say you are opposed to genocide. But fuck it. I am opposed to genocide. I am opposed to apartheid. I am opposed to children having limbs amputated without anesthesia. You absolute fucks

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

5 years

No evidence of cancer remains.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

@realDonaldTrump Have you considered having yourself shot out of a cannon? The ratings would be phenomenal.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

7 years

Can we start calling Mayor of San Juan, by her name? Carmen Yulin Cruz. Not difficult to say or remember and she has certainly earned it.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

3 years

I have known Steve Buscemi for 40 years. He is an absolute sweetheart. Has never disappointed me as a friend. Yet, every time I turn on the TV, there is Steve getting killed. What did he do to make you think he is so killable? STOP KILLING STEVE BUSCEMI IN YOUR MOVIES

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

There was a time in my life when no politicians crossed my mind for days in a row. I would like to have that back.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

Happy Birthday Abraham Lincoln. If he were alive today, Abraham would be 210 years old and 77 feet tall.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

I just finished 7 weeks of chemo and radiation therapy. I didn't like it.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

7 years

私は彼が私が今までに遭遇した中で最もばかばかしい人だと思う

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

So they had 3 undercover agents following Stormy Daniels around, waiting for some minor infraction? Your tax dollars at work.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

7 years

. @realDonaldTrump Sir, you are very quiet today. I hope everything is okay. Some people dropped by.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

7 years

I just got the call! Very excited! Tomorrow I am going to help Satan scatter dinosaur bones in Evangelical neighborhoods.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

A giant warm shout out to those people who stood in line for 11 hours to vote in Georgia.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

"The sky is falling, I am learning to live with it." Now in the collection of Anthony Bourdain.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

@realDonaldTrump If Northern California had received anywhere near the typical amount of autumn rain this year, 4-5 inches, the fires would not be happening. This is a result of Climate Change. Sorry to mention rain, I know you are afraid of it.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

7 years

While the government is shut down, I think they should let homeless people sleep in the White House.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

The reason Trump's hair never catches on fire is raking.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

3 years

People I know in Poland, dropping everything to rush to the border with food, blankets, diapers, toys. Incredibly moving.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

How about - in the future, in cases like Bill Cosby or Weinstein, these women don't have to devote 15 to 20 years of their lives, fighting to get justice, while being degraded the entire time?

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

5 years

It is my strong belief that after the anthem at every sporting event, there is one minute of booing for Donald Trump, whether he is there or not. Let Booing For Trump become the custom. To the point that there is 1 minute of booing 100 years from now and no one remembers why.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

10 months

For years I have avoided Bill Maher. But then we had a show on HBO that directly followed him. All the clocks in the house were set to be completely accurate to make sure that when we turned on the TV we wouldn't, by accident, see Bill Maher.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

FBI have detained 5 men, traveling in a van from Virginia to Washington DC. The van was flying the Confederate flag and the men were armed with hundreds of Gwyneth Paltrow Exploding Vagina candles.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

Jean Michel Basquiat and I were very stoned and were slow motion boxing each other. I stepped backwards into a tray of paint and then onto the painting on the floor. He just laughed.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

8 years

oh thank you, whoever did this

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

7 years

@realDonaldTrump Did you become president to get more twitter followers?

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

3 years

Today is Abraham Lincoln's birthday. Had he lived, today Abraham would be 213 years old and 83 feet tall.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

I love Jimmy Carter. There, I said it. I am not ashamed. I fucking love Jimmy Carter.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

1 year

Grand Central Station - right now. Demonstration calling for a cease fire

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

Anthony Bourdain walked into my home without a hint of ego. I loved him in seconds. A truly decent man. We needed him.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

The Great Unfollowing. It would be nice to send Donald Trump a message and 10 to 20 million people unfollow him on Twitter at the same time. I was thinking Thanksgiving at 3:00 EST but could move it back a few days if it doesn't start to gain momentum

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

Maybe the next pandemic will be a virus that fills those infected with empathy.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

But years later, the painting I had stepped on was at the Whitney with my footprint still there. I reached forward to show someone and the guard came rushing forward - "MOVE AWAY FROM THE PAINTING!" "But, I already stepped on it."

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

3 years

I knew Michael Massee, the actor who accidentally shot and killed Brandon Lee. It absolutely destroyed him. He never recovered. I am astounded by the cruelty of some of these posts on Alec Baldwin. The stupidity of this crowd, however, is no longer a surprise.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

3 years

Did you know that dogs and wolves can howl in harmony but as soon as they do, they purposely create dissonance so they can count how many they are? I love this.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

5 years

"No, Mr President, germs are very tiny. Microscopic. You can't see them. What you saw was a dog."

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

Harry Dean Stanton once told me about buying a new house where feral cats came to his back yard. He fed them. More came. So he tried to scare them off but they wouldn't leave. When he refused to feed them they started throwing themselves at the big glass window. Happy Mothers Day

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

1 year

I am sorry to say that season 3 of Painting with John will be the last. I am sad about it, but it is a miracle that it ever happened at all. Thanks to HBO, Adam McKay, Todd Schulman, Erik Mockus, Nesrin Wolf and AnnMary James. Show is still on Max if you haven’t seen it.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

This happened 4 years ago today. The only person in jail is the man who filmed it.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

5 years

#TrumpSlump other pandemics and epidemics in recent history - Sars, Swine Flu, with Ebola being, by far, the most terrifying. But the market didn't plummet like this. Market crash is directly related to people's assessment of this administration's ineptness.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

I am worried that this is going to hurt my standing in the Hermit community. But, I made it to cheer people up. So cheer the fuck up.

HBO

@HBO

4 years

"I was hoping this show would be educational, but I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing." - @lurie_john Painting With John debuts January 22 on @hbomax .

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

3 years

Sad to find out Kid Rock is homophobic when he is so incredibly talented

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

1 year

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

5 years

If you use the term "consensual rape" in my presence, I will punch you in your fucking mouth. And guess what! It will be consensual.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

I would like Netflix to pay for a show where I go to people's home, who posted - John Lurie blocked me for no reason. And I explain it to them.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

5 years

After getting radiation to my head, I lost my sense of taste for two months. With many people it never comes back. Mine, thankfully, did. I just ate a ripe, plump blackberry. It was remarkable in its nuance of flavor and deliciousness. I think I will have another. Life is good.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

3 years

This was my birthday 18 years ago and my birthday this week. Pretty fucking cool I think.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

8 years

A huge beautiful thank you to the Orlando Shakes, who dressed as angels to block anti-gay protests at the funerals.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

2 months

It's Bill Evans' birthday. Which means you should be gentle and warm and heartbreakingly beautiful with everyone you encounter for the rest of the day. Thank you.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

11 months

Bison

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

Starting today, the new symbol of American freedom is the pickaxe.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

5 years

These are the paintings I made during chemo and radiation therapy and the months of side effects after. I am proud of me. Now you can be proud of me too.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

5 years

I am more than a little excited to announce that this January, I will begin shooting Painting with John.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

@realDonaldTrump I went to first grade in New Orleans in 1960. The kids were chanting - 2,4,6,8 We don't want to integrate! It was catchy. My mother nearly clocked me when I came in singing it. My mom was amazing. You are not amazing at all.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

3 years

Bison

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

5 years

Once I asked Iggy Pop for a favor, which he did for me. I called him to thank him and at the end said - "We should hang out some time." To which Iggy replied, "why?" And I thought, "damn, Iggy, you are perfect."

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

The Cheese stands alone

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

1 year

I wrote 40 new pieces of music for this season of Painting with John. Was good for me. Hope it is good for you.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

5 years

@bader_diedrich @VernonMaxwell11 Mad Max's Twitter war with Utah is historically wonderful. His pinned tweets - I'd like 2 apologize Jazz fans that were offended by my tweets. If I knew u guys had internet in Utah I would've never made those tweets.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

3 years

Purple Mice Facing East

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

Today, like many other days, the president spoke to a medium size group of dumb white people

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

10 years

I dont know who these people are or what they are demonstrating. But I stand with them. http://t.co/vPwqKgGkF2

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

2 years

They were weird but they saw something even weirder.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

3 years

Some days are better than others

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

She loved him madly

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

3 years

Abandoned Amusement Park

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

7 years

I have decided that I want to be the nicest person on Twitter. How is everyone? I love you all! No matter how stupid you are! Isn't that great! I am nice! You can tell by the exclamation marks!

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

1 year

I once did a film score and the contract said that they owned every musical idea I had during the period I was working for them. Like they owned my mind. They really are assholes and I hope the strike fucks them up.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

11 months

John Oliver finally explored Israel/Hamas last night and did it pretty well. "It has to be possible to feel the pain in one community without denying it in another. It has to be."

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

I AM NOT MAN Oh England, we have you so beat

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

1 year

This was artwork I did for the Ritz Crackers box that they rejected.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

3 years

Just finished shooting season two of Painting with John.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

Before sex was discovered in Great Britain, people who wanted children caught them in the Thames.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

5 years

Trump is president Kenny G and Kanye are making music together Where are the locusts? I would have been happy with locusts We were promised locusts Please bring on the fucking locusts

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

5 years

They were weird but they saw something even weirder.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

20 years ago, I was in a restaurant and Donald Trump was there. I had the waiter bring his table a glass of their cheapest wine. I have done other things in this life, but this is most likely my greatest work.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

7 years

this is my idea of hell

The Current

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7 years

Southwest Airlines has added live concerts to its in-flight amenities.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

5 years

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

2 years

Very sorry to hear about the passing of Anton Fier. The Lounge Lizards would never have gotten off the ground without him. He showed us how to work on music. Demanded it.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

2 years

King of the Alligators surrounded by his very good stuff.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

I ate an enormous amount of fried clams, followed by 3 cannolis. Then my stomach reminded me that I am 68 years old, not in words but in a clear language nonetheless.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 months

Another fucking Tuesday

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

Had Abraham Lincoln lived, today he would be 212 years old and 81 feet tall.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

5 years

I spent 9 hours painting this tree for you people. Now enjoy it. God damn it.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

5 years

Someone asked me to post some of my music on here and I am going to do that. Please politely press the "like" button so I don't become even more insecure. Thank you.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

3 years

I have read all the opinions on Will Smith and Chris Rock. My conclusion is that people are irritating.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

5 years

@JimSwiftDC The Rolling Stains

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

1 year

That we would annihilate each other fueled by fear, rage and hate before Climate Change ended us, was not something I saw coming. Empathy. We need empathy. Empathy in all directions.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

4 years

For the giant stream of love which got me through a grim and brutal February, I would like to say thank you.

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

7 years

@realDonaldTrump Sir, the only sure way to know if you are a witch is "Ordeal by water." We hold you under water for 5 minutes and if you live, youre a witch

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John Lurie

@lurie_john

6 years

Beto has not been seen for the last few days, because he is in front of a mirror practicing how to say the word "motherfucker."

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John Lurie

@lurie_john