Kyle Groetzinger @kgroetz Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 months

the unfortunate result of having a very earnest online presence is jokes like these will be taken at face value

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

the lululemon sales assistant: typically guys get a size up when they buy these joggers, they fit really snug me, skeptically: even the gay ones? her, quietly, without missing a beat: straight men don’t buy these pants sir

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

2 years

not his little twink bodyguard I CANT

Rachel Scott

@rachelvscott

2 years

George Santos spent another day dodging questions on Capitol Hill as he’s accused of fabricating almost every single part of his life.

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

2 months

things are going well I see

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

8 months

every single time The Crown is like “that’s it, this is our last season!” something batshit insane happens and they have to be like “nvm one more, Daniel Craig will portray the photoshop editor in season twelve.”

star•gyal

@beequammie

8 months

Writers for The Crown getting back into the writers room this morning

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

6 years

what do we say to the god of death

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

@Housepet10 because I do not exist for your pleasure

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

11 months

just finished Saltburn, a film that bravely asks “what if being terrified and being horny were the same thing?”

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

2 years

poor taste! twice

ryan 🥥🌴

@thisismeryan13

2 years

Is this the same kid?

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

if you are a skinny jeans croptop pajama boy dm me immediately

Jason S. Campbell

@JasonSCampbell

5 years

Laura Ingraham complains that "for years Hollywood's been pushing the skinny jeans croptop pajama boy version of masculinity"

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

ansel elgort at the golden globes

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

I’m genuinely not sure I’ve ever been this angry in my whole life

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

Stay home, save lives, smize

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

1 year

go down the hall, turn right, bathrooms on the left. look for the big boxes

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

@chustoo the sales associate in question

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

2 years

going to a family wedding for the long weekend so let me just flex on y’all first, get it out of the way

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

Given how loudly queer I am on this dumb website, it might surprise you to know I have only been publicly “out,” for about 3 1/2, 4 years. With each passing year, I feel like the best version of myself yet. Everyone deserves that feeling. #NationalComingOutDay

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

the FDA????!!! regulating MY right to clean MY VCR in the privacy of MY OWN home? liberals have ruined this country

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

1 year

new werk headshots just dropped

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

scandalizing my parents neighbors by washing my car in their driveway, shirtless, on christmas eve

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

cheesin’

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

going to andrew yang 2020 dot com to request 1,000 dollars a month so I can give it directly to elizabeth warren

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

happy #BiVisibilityDay . to celebrate, I uploaded a new picture of myself, a bisexual, to this website.

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

hope this isn’t too cringe but I’ve been self conscious about being scrawny my whole life. I decided to get in shape this summer. 8 months of consistent workouts and endless protein shakes later, I’m still working at it but have never felt happier with my body. 2019/now

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

hi gay (revolution)

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

national park for betty white when

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

beard in the house and I’m in the house beard

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

28 days

CBS: governor walz, you said before the break, “ope, just gotta squeeze past you there.” but there was at least five feet between us, so you had plenty of room to pass by. what is the truth? Walz: aw gee. shucks. I’m a knucklehead. JD Vance: at least 5 women here are ovulating.

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

6 years

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

2 years

we are one HBO exec’s coke binge away from a dark, gritty live-action reboot of Dexter’s Lab where Margot Robbie plays DeeDee

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

I am five foot seven, all pictures of me are of “little gay me,” tysm

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

2 months

I keep thinking about how Tim Walz told the Harris campaign that if they wanted him to use a teleprompter, they’d have to buy him one and show him how to use it. and then he went out and gave the best damn speech of the convention so far.

philip lewis

@Phil_Lewis_

2 months

"So while other states were banning books from their schools, we were banishing hunger from ours," Tim Walz says #DNC

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

twitter meets irl

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

new york gays internally battling over the benefits of getting the vaccine versus going on public record that they’re over 30

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

friendly neighborhood outdoors boy reminding you to please keep all content Park Friendly™️

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

@HuffPost rethink this tweet

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

name a more iconic duo. I’ll wait

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

In 2020 we are ONLY taking photos in this pullover

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

love 2 be sexually harassed by a str8 man when I try to tan on my roof in a speedo. jokes on u bb im gonna wear a thong next time

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

Doug Jones retweeted his son's thirst trap and all my parents did this Pride is "heart react" my post about the Supreme Court decision on LGBTQ workplace protections. step it up Cindy and Steve

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

😔

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

2 years

DCA is such a cursed place. I’m listening to someone who keeps saying “I mean, on background…” and “not for attribution!” into her phone and out of the corner of my eye I can see someone ordering Five Guys before 10AM

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

he was also a gay guy working for a homophobe so maybe let’s not pat him on the back for this decision hm?

Axios

@axios

4 years

Scoop: The communications director for Rep. Lauren Boebert of Colorado, a firebrand Republican freshman who boasts about carrying a gun to work, has quit after less than two weeks on the job.

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

happy mother’s day to my twin?????

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

red (kyle’s speedo)

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

1 year

I thought this was pretty good tbh

Mads🧜🏻‍♀️

@madcityyy_

1 year

Quote this with the best Halloween costume you’ve worn👻🎃

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

if you are a CERTIFIED freak and you work SEVEN days a week you need a LABOR UNION for FREAKS 😤😤😤

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

it’s bisexual awareness week and I am vaguely bisexual, but I would like you all to be less aware of me

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

could big little lies take its foot off my throat please

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

king of standing normally

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

rest in peace john candy 😔😔😔

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

Happy Pride slash happy late Mother’s Day

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

DC interns Taylor Swift in “London Boy” 🤝 “I enjoy nights at Brixton”

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

every time you vote for a Republican you are spitting on a queer person. and every gay Republican should have trouble sleeping for the rest of their life.

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

1 year

the amount of twink press secretaries who are going to retweet this with “screaming”

Daybook

@DaybookJobs

1 year

Job Opportunity! The U.S. House of Representatives seeks a Speaker of the House based in Washington D.C. Yearly salary: $223,500.

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

oomf hates it when I tweet basic gay shit so 🥰🥰🥰

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

pleased to announce that IT has purchased me a new webcam

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

I worked very hard on this

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 months

every olympics I remember that my parents wanted me (short king) to do swimming (famously a sport for talls) instead of gymnastics (famously a sport for short kings). that’s why they’re not going to the good home

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

I am 28 years old and my parents still write this on the gifts

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

Happy Pride. I wrote something very personal for @NPCA about queerness, safety, and representation in our outdoors. I love being gay outside. I don’t want to feel straight outside, since I’ve never felt straight inside. #prideoutside

Being Gay Outside

Can they see me? Am I safe? One staff member explores ways to honor queerness and make the outdoors more inclusive and welcoming for all people.

www.npca.org

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

I’ve seen enough. not in any particular race I have just seen some shit. enough of it

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

Logan Hall

@loganclarkhall

3 years

can you name a single institution that has any legitimacy left?

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

merry Christmas ya filthy animals

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

1 year

it’s punching down to blame a bunch of broke 22 year old staffers for Dianne Feinstein clinging to power to despite obvious dementia. fine to publicly shame senior staff. it’s also an embarrassingly fundamental misread of Washington power dynamics. no facts just being mad online

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

when Pete's campaign first got started, I was...excited? proud? over time, as he went backward on policy + campaign promises, I came to view him as disingenuous and condescending. I hope he takes time to think critically about where he went wrong before running for office again.

Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

6 years

Didn’t get to meet Mayor Pete but I did get to: 1) hear his nuanced, thoughtful takes on small-town politics 2) see literally every gay man in dc packed into one tiny bookstore

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

2 years

got to see the only gay man from boston today :(

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

Kandy, unsolicited: Elliott with two t’s I hate everything about you sis Tamisha: I don’t like you Kandy: I’ll kill you

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

@laurahorn10 @taypearlstein Correct!!!

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

2 years

he’s a 10, and he’s in the best shape of his life! but he got that 🦕 neck

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

a fun thing about living in DC is sometimes I travel like an hour north into Maryland and think ahhhhh 😌 The Heartland™️ 🇺🇸

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

I wish I could get a Switch and use it to stave off the loneliness and anxiety of this global pandemic but unfortunately I’m a t*p :(

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

tulsi gabbard on her way to vote “present” on impeachment

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

2 years

what’s biden’s plan to compensate us for our silly little gay debts? daily coffees out, Charlie speedo purchases, weird little dance parties named like MEATHOOK or something

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

good or bad you have to admit there is too much news. there should be less, I think

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

Valentine’s Day overrated, all my homies love February 6th

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

#NewProfilePic

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

Derrick Barry walking out like

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

MEMO— ALL STAFF a reminder that it is still my birthday month

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

james clearly did not get the skies out thighs out memo

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

ok fine being 27 is not that bad

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

happy leo szn to all but specifically to me

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

queens of the Chesapeake

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

2 months

@robinsonmeyer boomers are still running on Obama 08 OS

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

this is the only sport I’m good at and you gotta admit it’s pretty gay? those poles...those wrists honey

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

shoot your shot 💉 (or two if you’re a Moderna boy like me)

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

3 years

this gay at trade just yelled “I’ve seen you on twitter!” at me and I asked if he followed me and he grinned wider and said no with his whole chest

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

every single Republican gay man you play kickball with or see out at the bars is complicit in this moral bankruptcy. they are not our friends. they betray their own community just for a scrap of approval from a party that hates them happy #PrideMonth @JuddPDeere45 @michaelahrens

NPR

@NPR

4 years

BREAKING: The Trump administration just finalized a rule that would remove nondiscrimination protections for LGBTQ people in health care and health insurance.

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

2 years

I wish someone had told me in PR school that half of our time would be spent explaining to our client or team that sometimes it’s just better to say nothing at all some people hate it when companies or orgs make principled stands. but they hate people who stand for nothing more

Anheuser-Busch

@AnheuserBusch

2 years

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

Black Lives Matter and you have the right to peacefully protest in YOUR national parks, including outside the White House. The National Parks Conservation Association stands with you.

National Parks Conservation Association

@NPCA

4 years

"Somewhere I read that the greatness of America is the right to protest for right." -MLK, Jr. We need answers for the horrid actions of US Park Police on peaceful protesters in Lafayette Park. Parks must be a safe space to exercise constitutional rights.

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

one day I will walk through my apartment building without taking copious photos of myself but today is not that day

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

Gimme My Theme Music ❗️

@micahthatman

4 years

Show me the best pics you’ve taken since COVID hit the fan

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

5 years

if one more DC gay tells me “I don’t miss Town, I never really liked it there, ya know?”

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Kyle Groetzinger

@kgroetz

4 years

braved a torrential downpour and some truly upsetting selfie lighting to #VoteEarly for Joe and Kamala this morning. DC ppl — it was so easy, no line, go now!

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