kewlshrek @kewlshrek Twitter profile

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

Gaslighting me doesn’t work because I already don’t trust my memory and I don’t care what actually happened

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Last Seen Profiles

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

Brands marketing My gay to gays: friends:

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Having a Cocteau twins summer where no one can understand what I say but those who choose to listen are enchanted

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

The mixed uses are walking and committing suicide

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@Indian_Bronson

2 years

This kind of smart, walkable, mixed-use urbanism is illegal to build in most American cities

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

It’s so important to have a routine

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

No movie fails the bechdel test when I watch it because I am talking the whole time

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

Date idea: I show you memes and you do not ask me any personal questions, then sex

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

4 years

It’s a girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

When Vitus is too crowded and you get stuck watching the show from that middle room where the ATM is

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

What are people gonna do this lockdown they already all came out as non-binary

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

4 years

My Twitter is an inside joke with myself idk what y’all are doing here

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

7 years

@JoeBrodie_ @IssaRae @MichelleObama @joebrodie_ YOU'RE* entitled to YOUR opinion god why is this so hard / hi @issarae I love you / hi @MichelleObama I love you

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

1 year

Did McDonald’s make the entire month of June Grimace’s birthday so they could get out of pride

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Motley Crue has like 6 absolutely legendary bangers and the other songs are the worst music you’ve ever heard in your life

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

CDC says just do your own thing and be yourself :)

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

Whoever is behind the Facebook outage better look like this

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Monopolies be like “thank you for choosing our business”

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

1 year

“Try THAT* in a small town” *not getting addicted to opioids

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

“I’m sexually fluid” you mean like you paint your nails or like gay sex

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

4 years

Being sober is awkward because I used to be able to say “sorry I acted crazy, I was on drugs” but now I have to be like “sorry I acted crazy, I’m crazy”

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

Friend: let me take a pic of you Me, for no reason: 😐 🖕🏼_/||\_🖕🏼 _/¯ ¯\_

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

“I’m a capitalist” babe you don’t have any capital you’re just a bad person

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

1 year

Girl dinner

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

I can’t believe republicans found out about John waters. This is why we need gatekeeping

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

What do you mean “how have I been?” I am an adult. I’m sad and horny

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

This is basically my Hinge profile

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

I absolutely love when people announce they’re leaving social media and then return in less than a week

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

1 year

When a new social media platform comes out

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

Being “dead inside” is so immature, grow up and be dangerously unstable inside

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

1 year

I am both of them

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

I’m so sorry but if you’re white and queer you’re actually still white, again I am SO sorry about this

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

1 year

Jonah Hill is proof that we need men out of therapy and back at war overseas

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Sorry I missed your call I haven’t had my ringer turned up in 10 years

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

When y’all thought the door was locked and someone walks in on you doing coke

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Me listening Me listening to gossip to instructions

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

I can’t believe people fake orgasms, I won’t even say “nice to see you” if I don’t mean it

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

1 year

Weekend plans

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

I thought cocaine bear was referring to that show about the line cook

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

1 year

*at Katz’s deli* Customer: I’ll have a pastrami on rye but I do need to make it clear that I stand with Palestine Dominican guy working behind the counter: ok

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Zoloft and Kumon guys

Seola Quintanilla Pérez

@meItingbytwice

4 years

do y’all have “forbidden” pairs you think look alike but also know NO one else is gonna agree?

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Doing drugs @mobshity

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Damn girl are you the Denver airport? Your ominous art has inspired the public to create a sinister mythology surrounding you

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Austin, Texas losing all their music venues and getting Joe Rogan’s comedy club

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Of course I know what Ronald McDonald looks like

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

My hair stylist in Topeka, KS who does meth

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

11 months

Mister Bagel is manic

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Charles should die tomorrow. For the bit

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

Good evening. “Kewlshrekmemes” was a 36 month sociological study conducted by Stanford University. As of last week, we have completed our research. Thank you for your time.

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

When someone criticizes me

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

1 year

If god didn’t want me to take Xanax he wouldn’t have prescribed it to my roommate

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

@dom_msmsmsm Y’all are all gaslighting me

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Guys before they show you music you already know

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

1 year

After I eat too much sugar

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

1 year

How do they do this without laughing

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

I am the millennial American dream. I fucked up every opportunity I was given due to my youthful, smug nihilism and now I run a meme page

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

1 year

Me watching a movie

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

I like a person with a certain je ne sais quoi (autism)

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

11 months

Newly sober person faced with any situation

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

Oh no Instagram is down where am I going to post screenshots from Twitter

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

A lot of people don’t realize this but you can dislike someone and not make a public service announcement about it

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

Conservatives complaining about cancel culture like they didn’t invent it in 2003 to destroy the Dixie Chicks for opposing the Iraq war

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Every time I go out

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Terminally online people when they have a crush

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Should be a pretty short read

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

White people home for the holidays always post pics of slop with a caption like “Grandma’s famous fried cream cheese pimento cheese sour cream hot dog balls”

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

It’s hard to respect a man who hasn’t sucked dick

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

You’re not a manic pixie dream girl you need to go to rehab

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

When your school gets cops

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Every day getting off work

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

That’s what I call mine too

weird medieval guys BOOK OUT NOW !!

@WeirdMedieval

2 years

christ’s side wound, luxembourg, 14th century

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

9 months

If y’all like ugly guys that’s fine and you can just say that. But stop trying to convince everyone these men are good-looking

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Kim better not even think about this dress

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

Fuck your astrological sign, what’s your favorite episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force?

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

I will not clean my mirror

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

When someone is better than me at something I’m like they definitely take adderall

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

This is the headline that will finally get me to put down my phone and read a book from the canon

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

I used to think I was cool because I did drugs now I think I’m an invincible god like creature because I don’t

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

11 months

Me looking at art

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Kink at pride is not enough. We need kink in the workplace

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

When someone hurts my feelings I just eat candy. Elon have you tried that

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

I google stupid shit on my phone and serious shit on my computer

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

If you think something is about you, it is. You are the center of the universe. Everyone knows who you are. You’re famous.

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Why does the new American girl doll sell drugs

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

I love how famous people act like teenagers. She is 36 years old 😍

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Quiet bf Loud trainwreck gf

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

I think I’m at peace with aging and then I see this shit

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

2 years

Do you think fundamentalist Mormons are pissed that polyamory is mainstream

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kewlshrek

@kewlshrek

3 years

It started out as a bit how did it end up like this it was only a bit (it was only a bit)

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