kate @katemonster20 Twitter profile

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

When a guy tells me I’d be prettier if I smiled more

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kate

@katemonster20

6 months

Normalize parents not asking grown adults to censor themselves because you chose to bring your children to a neighborhood sports bar

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

@RMcElhenney

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

If I see a single Bucs fan next season, you’re fuckin lyin

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

Happy fuckin birthday to me 😍😍

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Do the MAGAts understand the irony of playing “Funeral for a Friend” at their rally or..?

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

PSA: if a girl has big boobs, she knows it. She (probably) didn’t ask for them. She’s not showing them off, she literally can’t help it. You don’t have to constantly comment on them. 👌🏼

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

Another mass shooting this morning, another assault rifle. An argument I keep seeing for not banning them is it’s a “hobby”. Fuck your hobby. Ban them. Enough is enough.

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

2nd shot today thoughts & prayers please that I am well enough to go to happy hour tomorrow

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

I wrote a proposal for our district to start its own Autistic Support program and the board just approved ittttt I get to build my own program I’m so hyyyyyype

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Just reported my first business for not following the COVID rules thank you Facebook friend for posting crowded bar pics in Lancaster 😎😎😎

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kate

@katemonster20

6 years

I posted this as my Facebook profile pic and my “feminist” mother demanded I take it down and said it was “embarrassing” and “slutty”. Oh ok cool mom, thanks. Way to be part of the problem.

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Your girl got a new job 😎😎😎😎

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Guys I’m observing at a public middle school today, in the year 2021, and this is a real wall

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kate

@katemonster20

7 years

I just met Lou Nolan so

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kate

@katemonster20

9 years

Yaaaaassss #BeatDallas #FlyEaglesFly cc: @BrianDawkins http://t.co/EixqaV4HgX

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

RIP to the fuckboy ego so fragile unfollowers today because I wanted Julie Ertz (who has more world championships than her husband) to be recognized. 🙏🏼

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

#cancelmen2020

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Stepped on the scale this morning to see I lost 8 lbs?? Only thing I can think of is I’m drinking more liquor instead of beer so follow me for more weight loss tips

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kate

@katemonster20

7 years

Just talked to Santa and he wants you to keep your Elf on the Shelf pics to yourselves this year.

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

I just went on a walking date with a dude and he brought beer in coffee cups so I guess I’m getting married?

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

Like in what fucking world would that strategy work?

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kate

@katemonster20

6 years

Guys

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Ugh last 4 years so bad they got me out here respecting Mitt Romney

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kate

@katemonster20

6 years

I have a layover in Boston Tuesday so I should definitely wear my super bowl champs shirt for the flight, yes?

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Principal while giving me a new mask: “I don’t know much about you, but I know this much.” Glad I was already dressed for the occasion 🧡🖤

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

They didn’t sneeze. They fucking died. Do something, dickbag.

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Whenever I get drunk at my parents’ my autistic brother makes us put Disney Sing Along Songs on and my parents & I really drunkenly sing along. Tonight I had a couple beers at my apartment and I can’t get The Arisocats out of my head. My brother has Pavloved me.

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

If you’re at xfinity and saw some drunk asshole win the first free shot of tequila, it me

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

☘️

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

I’ve been called a snowflake for the last 4 years but don’t remember driving to DC to cry 4 years ago????

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Is everyone’s mom as neglectful as mine or???

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Imagine blocking a Shea Weber shot. IMAGINE.

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

How’s your Sunday funday I got drunk and hooked up with a guy from work and now slapshot is on #throwbacksunday 📸

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kate

@katemonster20

10 years

Really Daniel? http://t.co/IFsopMxlKW

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kate

@katemonster20

6 months

@Phlyers24 If a kid is there and well-behaved and parents acknowledge there's a certain risk of language to be heard at a bar, I don't care. But this mom put her hand on my friend and announced there were kids there. That's not how any of this works

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

Got accepted into the Special Ed Supervisor program I applied for (of course I did I have an impeccable resume and a 4.0 in grad school and my ABA coursework) and I’m about the run this biiiiiiitch

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kate

@katemonster20

3 years

I’m down a bra/swim suit size and I might cry tears of joy. No pics of my new 🔥 swim suit top though because everyone is a creep RIP

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kate

@katemonster20

6 years

PSA: women don’t hate you now just because you’re a guy. Women hate you because in the wake of all these sexual assault allegations you make comments like “women hate me now just because I’m a guy”.

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Dad’s been playing hockey for 40 years and finally started to teach me how

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kate

@katemonster20

9 years

Eags win got me like

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

Remember last week when we all thought the Flyers were a different team? 😭

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

This 👏🏼 is 👏🏼 why 👏🏼 we 👏🏼 hate 👏🏼 him 👏🏼

Evan Marinofsky

@EvanMarinofsky

4 years

Hoping Sidney Crosby is ok after this 🙏

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Dad bought us Flyers tix, landlord didn’t increase my rent on the app before I paid this month, and dude in front of me at Dunkin paid for my coffee - happy birth month to meeee 🎉

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kate

@katemonster20

10 years

Sliding into your DM's like...

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

I fucking love playoff hockey

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

Today one of my first graders (remember I teach autistic support) says to me: “Ms. Kate your boobs bounce. Can I touch them?” 🤦🏻‍♀️

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kate

@katemonster20

6 years

Things I don’t wanna hear about anymore: 1) Bryce Harper 2) Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper 3) whatever nonprofit I’m not donating to on your birthday

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kate

@katemonster20

7 years

What if I told you that you could date someone and not broadcast every detail on social media?

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Ok I’m sorry but cancel culture is getting a little fucking ridiculous. Some of the shit I’m reading is like saying I should be canceled for eating a potato because my people went through a famine. This is how valid movements get ruined.

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kate

@katemonster20

7 years

Cry me a... Rivers

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kate

@katemonster20

3 years

I am so glad I stayed on my couch for this game. This is not worth putting on a bra and walking downtown

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

I lost so many insta and Twitter followers from the “fuck your feelings” camp and YOUR TEARS TASTE DELICIOUS AND LITERALLY GIVE ME LIFE THANK YOU

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

The look on the gym employee’s face when he said their updated policy is you have to wear your mask the entire time and I simply said “that sounds great, thank you” - poor guy definitely faced some Karens today

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kate

@katemonster20

1 year

At the risk of all the Trumper mouth breathers body shaming me because they can never come up with an original insult, this is 215 at 5’8”. Sorry Donald, no shot

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kate

@katemonster20

3 years

thirsty girl summer ☀️ 🦩

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kate

@katemonster20

3 years

I’m 35 years old and just had tacos and bagel bites for dinner so, yeah I’m thriving

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Why did my ex (who started dating someone else while we were dating and I found out about it and it took him a month to fess up but he still tried to cheat on her with me for TWO YEARS but now we haven’t spoken in literally two years)’s girlfriend just follow me on insta

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kate

@katemonster20

6 years

Some dude just told me I shouldn’t put myself into those situations regarding my sexual assault. I was asleep in my own bed. Guys, STOP SAYING THIS TO VICTIMS.

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Two of my dad’s cousins just drunkenly FaceTimed him and they’re super hardcore Trumpers and my (cop) dad told them “if Trump had run against satan I’d vote for satan” and I’m so proud

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Guys my brother got the vaccine last week and I have some big news... He has autism.

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kate

@katemonster20

10 years

All I wanna do is lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted.

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

This weekend we honor those who made the ultimate sacrifice - those who had to wear a mask at Costco 🇺🇸

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kate

@katemonster20

7 years

THE FUCKING SUPERBOWL

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kate

@katemonster20

2 years

I’ve mentioned to so many people this week that I had the yips playing softball and no one knows what I mean - tell me y’all know what the yips are

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

I guy I was talking to and I got in a fight because he keeps trying to shove veganism down my throat and he told me I’m disrespectful and he won’t talk to me anymore so I went and bought bacon and eggs to celebrate

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kate

@katemonster20

6 years

Fuck y’all I like Gritty shut up

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Wow I am the real MVP for apparently making it so people who don’t follow me can’t DM me. Literally saved my life this week 😅😅😅

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

I’m drunk texting it’s 1:25pm

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

Today a student’s mom wrote in her communication book that last night her daughter set up her dolls and said “ok guys I’m Ms Kate and I’m your teacher”. This girl like barely spoke until recently. I just about cried 😍

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

So why did Arya have all that training to be the faceless man? Why did we give a shit that Jon is a Targaryen? Where is Drogon? Why is there still a wall if the Night King is dead?

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Lol the trolls are out in full force and I’m just blocking so don’t waste your breath ✌🏼

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

I’m all for hopping on the Flyers bandwagon but if you were crying “boycott” all last off-season then your application is at the bottom of the pile

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

Friend’s Snapchat story: an all gender restroom with the caption “lord help us”. Message left from me: “just something to consider, I have a 31 year old brother with autism who’s not completely independent in the rest room. These are super helpful for people in our situation.”

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kate

@katemonster20

3 years

Officially accepted into my doctorate program - how soon is too soon to add “Ed.D. student” to my bumble profile?

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

Brandon if you’re trying to impress me, hatin on Gritty ain’t it

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kate

@katemonster20

6 years

Why are all the girls at xfinity dressed like it’s a Saturday night at some dbag club? It’s a Saturday afternoon baseball game.

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

NAILING “adult Halloween costume”

Alice

@AliceFromQueens

4 years

cracked it

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kate

@katemonster20

8 years

I fucking hate when a girl's first thought is "i'm not good enough" when a guy isn't into her. Fuck that. You're more than good enough.

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

Today fucking sucked but tonight I am super psyched about being able to talk to my deaf DoorDash driver and we had the coolest meeting about creating housing for my brother and other adults friends with autism and I am just hyyyyype about it

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kate

@katemonster20

2 years

Imagine being mad that loans are forgiven instead of being mad about predatory loan practices 🤡

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

Lol I’m losing followers because I support donations to autism research 🤣🤣🤣

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kate

@katemonster20

1 year

A dude stopped me at the gym today to tell me how impressed he is by how hard I work and he can tell how dedicated I am, then an older woman stopped me on my walk home to mention how she sees me walking to the gym all the time and to keep it up. Today was a good day 😊

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Trump is the only one term president since I could vote and the second in my lifetime. This is fucking beautiful.

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

I just got an invitation for a baby shower. For this chick’s FOURTH kid. And there’s a registry. Staaaaahp the fucking madness.

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kate

@katemonster20

5 years

Ok shut the fuck up

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

Employee at xfinity: *hands me 3 cable boxes* Me: “oh I just need 1.” Him: “you only have 1 TV in your whole house??” Listen man I’m as shocked as you are that I’m somehow not married with a bunch of kids.

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kate

@katemonster20

7 years

Mom: “don’t be that girl and ugly cry at the bar if they lose.” Joke’s on you mom I’m gonna ugly cry either way

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

It’s funny to watch how quickly a dude follows me because he sees boobs after I’m RTed onto his timeline and unfollows when he sees how mouthy I am about hating republicans

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kate

@katemonster20

1 year

I don’t start my new job till the 28th so over here thinking about taking myself to the beach for a few days next week 👀

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kate

@katemonster20

4 years

All these Q freaks calling for me to be doxxed. What do they think is gonna happen? My school district puts out a statement: “it has come to our attention that one of our employees behaved responsibly”? 💀💀💀

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kate

@katemonster20

7 years

Hey asshole @realDonaldTrump TEACHERS DO NOT WANT TO BE ARMED. FUCKING LISTEN TO US. DO. NOT. WANT. GUNS.

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kate

@katemonster20

6 years

I just wrote “BYE PENS” as a Facebook status and it’s getting so many likes and I’m so happy the NHL fandom can unite over our mutual hatred of the Pens

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kate

@katemonster20

8 years

Seriously @TBLightning the entire NHL fanbase except the Pens' is rooting for you. Don't do this to us.

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kate

@katemonster20