🐝Piper🐝 @jazzguineapig Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@acervokatyp

@Swoopy

@DavidDjward

@1lrxin

@stw_pdg

@prettyybooyyy

@damola_Hattori

@bomind_tn

@Sg1981Totani

@SWINDLIS

@NaWik

@FairyJaiy

@Youliingo

@JeezyPazzy

@charleshabys

@TshibangaJosep1

@OsakaDailyAzu

@greatbigcheese

@salam5442

@Pamad2532

@fukurou2703

@kevinvangundy

@callsofmidas

@suns_tutu_fan

@VicoWYD

@rexent74

@Fares86420

@MorganRyanArt

@D7_D7_D7_D7

@hunters_ai

@rangealigarh

@stardustroon

@pak_udaa

@dandidip

@RaportWojenny

@9NowAU

🐝Piper🐝

@jazzguineapig

2 years

@abbygov the CC field is for covering your ass

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@BloodWulker @Shamir90M @tl_reeve having been raised by people just like you, I know what you're like. the arrogance in your heart and the need for total control over your child's body and mind. please, learn to let go. for everyone's sake.

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@personofswag this tweet is code for "i am a selfish person who expects everyone to entertain me at all times"

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@kennedytcooper @RaxKingIsDead THC is fat-soluble, so any dish that calls for butter or oil or lard or shortening etc can become weedified. baked goods are traditional but there's literally nothing stopping you from making Magic Pizza or whatever

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@abandofstrays @borgposting the hilarious thing is that if he'd actually spent $44B on solving world hunger or something, we really *would* think he was destined to guide humanity into the future etc. but he couldn't help being 100% selfish and making everyone hate him. like a greek tragedy except boring

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@jazzguineapig

10 months

@autistic_dutske ask them why they're stalking your IG when they're supposedly at work

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@JoshuaPotash on the one hand the housing situation really sucks, on the other hand maybe we need to reorient our culture away from seeing property ownership as the key marker of social success.

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@jazzguineapig

10 months

@mizabitha as a fellow engineer: if only it were so easy as a standardized needle 😭

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@AutisticCallum_ i still don't understand, what does "mascara" mean in this context 😵‍💫

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@nokidsnomoney @loserbent doubtful, being trans isn't gonna *help* you get into many places lol

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@jazzguineapig

4 months

@SomeTweeter420 yah thats called autism

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@jazzguineapig

11 months

"Being trans isn't a choice," I say softly, filling the syringe with hormones. "But especially not for YOU," I whisper in your ear, as I plunge the gleaming needle into your helpless body

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@jazzguineapig

5 months

@SexNTaxes @lNTRUSlVETHOT laughably tiny amt of money. the most token of token gestures

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@jazzguineapig

9 months

@snafuqd I'm not into dudes but I fully support any trend that involves them putting effort into their appearance

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@autisticmnmlst @AutisticCallum_ it's a solid description of every office i've ever worked in.

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@NotABigJerk PSA to moldy bread eaters: the visible surface fuzz is only the fruiting bodies, if it's fruiting that means the rest of the loaf is already full of mycelium

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@Harrybear5543 @KevKoeser war crimes FOR CHILDREN

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@jazzguineapig

9 months

@CatgirlAnarcho straight trans girls: "my bf won't acknowledge me in public but he mostly uses the right pronouns when he comes over to fuck, he's the best : )" transbians: "my gf took me shopping and then we stayed up all night making out and talking abt our hopes & dreams, she's the best :)"

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@jazzguineapig

5 months

@judgementshae you're like a missionary of womanhood

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@jazzguineapig

3 years

@NotChetHanks @bocxtop this used to happen ALL THE TIME. it's why we have trials and lawyers and evidence now

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@jazzguineapig

1 month

@okaypompeii @phiafacetious related

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@twinkleskramz @jenny2x4 first of all if he's only 71 he was born in 51. he's literally a baby boomer, the most coddled generation in human history. his whole life he's relied on women to do everything for him, first his mother then his wife. i know dudes like this, they're like children

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@jazzguineapig

8 months

if you want to be nonbinary you can just be nonbinary gender is made up, u don't have to perform any of them if u don't want

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

alice! 🔆🌾🇵🇸

@tinysquash

1 year

tweet like ur a worm on worm twitter

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@Russell_Cannon_ @AutisticCallum_ I would spend all my time maintaining that file instead of doing my actual job

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@jazzguineapig

5 months

@loserbent there are currently 23 open lesbian bars in the entire United States

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@VoiceofCal why would anyone complain about bats? unless they're in the pocket of Big Mosquito

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@haltroy @oncloud_e "guys is it gay to like women?"

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@thehill @SecretaryPete i always forget this guy is actually a cabinet secretary. like why

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@WhackNicholson @badnaomibad unironically this. the left-right spectrum is a lie, most people are far more idiosyncratic in their views

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@jzux i do this reflexively with everyone i meet, but it's just because i'm autistic af and whatever i'm about to say probably IS really weird

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@HarrisonKHall @transguyenergy yeah as a cis dude we usually go into "blinders mode" in public restrooms and pretend there's nobody else there. if i heard crinkling packaging I'd probably assume some dude was eating doritos on the can

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@Prolagus just two buddies sharing a house with paintings of giant dongs all over the walls, having a nice platonic friendship

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@motiblackart being a little sloppy is an NT trait, if you make no mistakes it creeps them out. fortunately for me my ADHD ensures I'll always miss something or fuck something up on applications, so I tend to sneak past that screening stage by mere fluke.

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@jazzguineapig

3 months

@gracefurby top tier trip setting 👌

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@NotABigJerk PSA to moldy bread abstainers: bread mold is entirely harmless and it doesn't matter if you accidentally eat some, your digestive and immune systems deal with far worse on the reg

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@PinkNews @chris awesome and congratulations!! 🎊 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵 🎊

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@jazzguineapig

3 years

@amylizk @rachsyme you must be American

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@jazzguineapig

9 months

@crotchner2 might have been trans, might have just been a weird kid, who knows

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@jazzguineapig

5 months

@loserbent why do ppl talk about "the lesbian bar" like there's one on every corner 😭

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@jazzguineapig

10 months

@sapphicslike two of the toppiest photos ever taken damn 🫠

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@MoDOT_KC Civil engineer by training. This entire project was a terrible idea and made KC worse in nearly every way.

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@thosegross can't be betrayed by ur friends if u don't have any

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@jazzguineapig

7 months

@judgementshae gotta get over my toxic codependent pre-transition cishet relationship first

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@twinkleskramz @LazarusLoafer @jenny2x4 just take the L dude

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@jazzguineapig

6 months

@oncloud_e I was literally this guy like a year and a half ago, good luck to her I hope she figures stuff out

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@jazzguineapig

4 months

@twinkdefcon people associate cyberpunk with Tokyo but Seoul is the real capitalist dystopia

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@JoshuaPotash "yes that was the intent of the regulations. don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out"

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@gothg0blin

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@EliErlick @DailyMail love when I go "this person is based af, I should follow her" and then see I'm already following

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@GoIdenOnyx @Sadenochill wait are we still talking about cops?

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@RateMySalad kimchi makes strong babies, this lady had your back

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@lifeasshadae the autism assessment should just be giving you a long form to fill out full of vague open-ended questions, and noting how hard you bounce off of it

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@angel_0f_deathx @buggirl cis dude here but seeing my wife go thru it twice, I wouldn't wish vaginal childbirth on my worst enemy. it's absolutely much worse than you think in every way 😭

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@jazzguineapig

8 months

@whoislivlemon the speed scrub at the end was the coolest part damn

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@jazzguineapig

3 years

@MittRomney what the fuck.

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@ran_away_wtm @veryeva better yet, as a customer you can lose YOUR shit for them, and not risk getting fired

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@jazzguineapig

3 years

@punkrocknick @TSmurl @zorangecats @161_BKLYN pretty sure it's because they fucking lost

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@MoDOT_KC Not to mention the blatant racism around which neighborhoods were bulldozed, or cut off from the rest of the city by impassable freeways, or subjected to incessant noise and pollution... and which ones weren't.

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@adhdjesse i can't imagine what an ADHD conference would be like but it sounds fun/terrifying lol

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@ZedEdge so you admit argument was based on a false premise, but you're still sticking with it because it "feels" true?

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@jazzguineapig

4 months

@Suzanne08053 @i_zzzzzz bc over there they charge you extra money for fuckin everything, even icewater or coffee refills

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@Senn_Spud @LapisLunaris CBT is about being gaslit into better mental health i can't decide if its evil or good

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@jazzguineapig

4 years

@ThatAuntZelda @runolgarun "certain grocery store chain"? name and shame em

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@Bernard_Brah @lib_crusher i lived in seattle. this is what it's like.

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@jazzguineapig

5 years

@jessicaelgot The fact that they didn't bother to plan for this rather predictable contingency speaks volumes

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@master30f @playsbyme @funflaps @TheNazzaro @RobDenBleyker

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@jazzguineapig

3 months

@stablestrategys @millenium_mahu i kept waiting for them to cut to her actual boymode outfit and then she just walked out the door 💀

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@jazzguineapig

5 months

@ajmarquis @cisgenderhaver maybe he's just really into thermo-plastic elastomers

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@jazzguineapig

3 years

@NoisyEliza @sausagelist @sleepisocialist "thank god MY team is the one torturing children, instead of the other team"

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@jazzguineapig

10 months

@jessicobra i started reading this in harley quinn voice and was very confused for a moment when the breaking bad guy showed up

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@NateSilver538 @NickRiccardi no, they're pointing out the hypocrisy of railing against loan forgiveness while also receiving loan forgiveness.

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@jazzguineapig

3 months

@dogfanhan @sarahhollowell in that moment the daughter understood TPOASIWID

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@BigBluMiku @MuscleSkoals

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@jazzguineapig

17 days

@Liv_Agar right! the hypothalamus monitors sex hormone levels in your blood and signals the pituitary gland to make gonadotropin, which in turn signals your testes to produce T. if your E level is high enough the hypothalamus says "ok we have enough sex hormone" and none of that happens

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@jazzguineapig

10 months

@mizabitha i don't know why I'm yelling!! but your dad sounds cool as hell!!

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@Tyrophant @NotABigJerk neither, I'm on the side of the mold.

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@antonvfriel @BernieTranders yes! it means they're not the type to just assume they know everything. this puts them well above the average medical professional

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@AdmiralWarspite @WarintheFuture won't happen, because HIMARS is easier to say. how would you even pronounce GMLRS? "gumlers"? not gonna fly with the media

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@jazzguineapig

8 months

@pookleblinky if a billion youtubers make a trillion videos, some of them are bound to become obsessed with a real threat by pure coincidence

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@jared_alo @RandLuttenberg @DDayFilms yes that's exactly what we're saying. practical effects enhanced with cgi look better than pure cgi, and also help actors turn in good performances. it's a lot easier to react realistically to a real person in a real environment than to a ball on a stick in an empty green room.

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@p8stie this account is slowly morphing from insane comedy satire into legit and actionable life advice

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@streamgazer @Lan_Dao_ if I could afford that I wouldn't need therapy lol

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@jazzguineapig

8 months

some girls have a praise kink, I just have a reassurance kink and by kink I mean I need it to live

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@tequilacowboyy @Hurstcules @_RobertSchultz self respect isn't worth 7% of a $25 bill

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@jazzguineapig

5 years

@AngryNIdaho @drvox I POLITELY ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR REASONABLE AND MEASURED RESPONSE!!!

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@RealKaylaJames everyone who is able to should own a gun and train regularly with it. violent revolution isn't the only way, but change simply does not happen without at least the CREDIBLE THREAT of violence.

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@AldoWertz @neocommie89 @nottydesignss "I'm not your buddy, pal"

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@jazzguineapig

9 months

@ZackDAbrams @i_zzzzzz no, the commonality is neither are monetized

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@DavidGaryEsp @AutisticCallum_ the trick with after-hours events is to not tell anyone you're leaving, just slip out without saying anything. nobody will notice and you'll still get social "credit" for attending, even if you were only there for a few mintues.

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@arndtusa @elonmusk

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@jazzguineapig

2 years

@JonathanGins27 @LesbianLaMaupin @clapifyoulikeme no wonder it was so popular with Americans

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@jazzguineapig

2 months

@roanastrik @meowkoteeq we made an autistic ai, great

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@jazzguineapig

4 months

@powcampsurvivor the most transmasc coded cis guy

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@breakcorebnuy_ so I'm uh... also not sure abt some things 🥺👉👈

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@jazzguineapig

9 months

@tronsgender how bad do you have to piss off your sergeant to get put on sperm retrieval duty. "wtf I joined the IDF to shoot Palestinian kids not jerk off corpses!"

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@jazzguineapig

1 year

@iupitar_ @AutisticCallum_ well that's not ambiguous at all

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@jazzguineapig

3 years

@alastair_massey @nachosarah i don't know which energy is stronger in this tweet, the paternalistic condescension or the fedora-tipping cringe

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@jazzguineapig

3 years

@researchrants @NateSilver538 as is tradition

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