Samira @itssammira_ Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Cheating on a woman who's head over heels in love with you is a thrill every man should experience at least 5 times in his lifetime

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Rigathi amesema no woman can tell him what to say my mans ame maliza speech mwenyewe 😂

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Uko nakuru kabla bills zikue passed watakua wanaulizwa "would you have voted for me if I was a butterfly?" hahahahaha

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Nairobi in the new Jujutsu Kaisen 0

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Muthoni Drama Queen was on the verge of saving Kenyan Music and being an all timer then one of you niggas went ahead and got her pregnant, we really can't have anything nice in this country

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

My mans is tired he doesn't know how much longer he can keep doing this every election period

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Nuh if I was able to grab my girl's entire ass in one palm I'd be depressed

NJAMBI❄️

@njambifever

2 years

Girl like ELSA😍🔥🙌🏾

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Gikuyu men tulienda from being shamed for the size of our nyunyui to women fighting over one of us kae ma Ngai darekagereria dugata ciake

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

We used to drink napoleon and blue moon when they were at 60% and be ready to go the next day this generation is full of pussies

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙚

@Nyabinghi___

2 years

I mixed Konyagi with Kenya Kane na nikawekelea jaba. Nimejipata Mercy Memorial.

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Sextape ya uyo badtingT iko chini ta sere all that ass na homeboy was fighting for his life giving her backshots

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Samira

@itssammira_

3 years

We all make mistakes lakini kutoa mama fua kwa club kama 1824 is one I would take to the grave

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Had to put one leg foward cause them Varane knees are killing me lmaoooo

Generational baddie💋

@notyoursissss

2 years

2012 vs now

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Congratulations @Dreymwangi

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

"ukona umama kwani umetoka nakuru" is about to be the phrase of the year

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Samira

@itssammira_

3 years

Mpesa balance ikiguza 3k you just know uko pits

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Samira

@itssammira_

3 years

Unanyimwa gari unaita mzazi toxic hahahah nasasa ange ambiwa a repair fence mahali ng'ombe ziliharibu azikatie thara na akamue jioni kama sisi tumelelewa gicagi si angejiua

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Anyway matako Nikita Kering anakuanga nayo whatever she said about ronoh is true and I stand by her or behind her if she ever lets me

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Uhuru na Ruto after being prosecuted for crimes against humanity by the ICC and still going on to win the Kenyan presidency back to back

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Apple huuzia Hawa madwanzi the same phone every year

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Jamaa zina fight for their lives tryna be the next githeri man this election

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Hapa ni mazishi mkiachana hunanga mwelekeo

𝐒𝐢𝐦✞✞✞

@WhoTFissim

2 years

Finding both a best friend & lover in one person >>>

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Mmelilia uyo Omanyala last week yote mkitusi government calling out their incompetence lafu son aka pull a "you don't know him like I do" on y'all naisha bana

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Ukiwacha kuvuta bangi you'll never wanna go back to that shit

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Kimeumana yani

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Gikuyu women deserve nothing ukipata chance waonyeshe vumbi

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Samira

@itssammira_

3 years

There's a nigga in your girl's past who was there before you and they never tried to be in a relationship but let me tell you son she has his back until God calls him home

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Son hajai amka next to an actual woman hahaha

AfriQuest Expeditions

@AfriQuestKenya

2 years

Make up and filters should be criminalized

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Kutumiwa for penis is very demeaning and it doesn't hit you until you text her on a lonely Monday night and she replies back on Friday with "nakuja"

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Samira

@itssammira_

3 years

Kwenda missing and your last RT is porn is funny asf man I'm sorry

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

I used to laugh at niggas who pay for pussy while in campus but once you hit 25+ and it hits you paying for pussy is cheaper than having a girlfriend not even taking into account the peace of mind and freedom that comes with it...it just dawns on you

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Uko mtu hu survive on pussy cuddles na reality shows hawananga chakula

drey

@Dreymwangi

2 years

Siwezi lala kwa dem aki ya Mungu 😂😂😂

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

You ask a woman her body count and tell her "be honest I don't judge I have a past too" anakupea Benzema numbers 2021/2022 season unapelekwa Kenyatta kuongezwa maji

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

I don’t understand how God made us Gikuyu men so kind, generous, honest and faithful and made Gikuyu women the exact opposite but who am I to question him

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

@Njoki_Njanja Kwani wewe tu ndio Malaya anaitwa njoki umeona tweet about sex workers ukai claim hahahahaha

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Siwezi taka dame akue so comfortable around me to the extent aanze kunyamba nikiwa hapo, hawa watu hawakuangi na tumbo mzuri bana anaweza angusha silencer moja mshinde mkitafuta panya imekufia wapi kwa nyumba

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Fuck nyeri btw trash ass town not one single time I've been here nimekosa kula chakula ya umafi, Jana nimekua served ndengu chemsha na ugali for 180 ju ndio ilikua imebaki una

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

No amount of financial advice and budgeting in the world will save someone who doesn’t make enough money to begin with

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Ruto when that Raila question finally came

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Mathe wa mayai amekuja hapa locals nikakula sita nikidhani ni mbao namuliza namlipa ngapi ananiambia 270 ati moja ni 45 karibu nimtolee boxer nimlipe na mboro

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Drunk enough to text her " I'm going to marry a woman I don't love I hope you're happy you pushed me to this"

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Uhuru linking up with Ruto and Gachagua later after successfully sabotaging Railas camp

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

This was a very outrageous AD to be broadcastest on national television in between a vioja mahakamani commercial break

Oded Rechavi

@OdedRechavi

2 years

Tenure

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Hua mna slander gikuyu meals na mnakula wadudu na ugali and let's not even get into how y'all pretend omena is human food

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Nuh but watu Kuja kuhakikisha you're really poor and struggling ndio wakusaidie is insane hahaha

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Samira

@itssammira_

3 years

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Ukiwa side nigga wa dame be high enough kwa list where she fucks you on the regular and not too high where she asks you for money

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Samira

@itssammira_

3 years

Dame akisema "birthday month" siku ya kwanza ya mwezi kuna son mahali anambiwa atayarishe mfuko

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Not everything trendy needs to be printed on a t-shirt

AFRICAN DIPLOMAT 🇰🇪🇳🇦

@_Diplomaat

2 years

Kenyans😂😂😂 the make the best out of every situation....Cherera akujie uniform sasa

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Hahaha unajuana na governors na biashara umefungua ni wines and spirit kama maid ametoka Saudia Arabia miaka mbili thekete ta goma

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

As a gikuyu man my dick is small izo mashida haiwezi nipata

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Your women wanaenda Naivasha with nothing but 50 Bob to their name na watalewa na wakule that entire weekend

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Samira

@itssammira_

3 years

Jamaa imeingia hapa butchery na dame yake akaitisha ulimi na ugali mbili and the way her eyes lit up venye zime kuja i almost shed a tear love is a beautiful thing

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Mbappe x Blue Lock

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Karigoh amekua slandered for alot of things lakini hao wote wamefungiwa hakuna mmoja ata kwa trauma stories amesema her coochie is trash and me personally as a born 2015 I wouldn't mind experiencing that

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Samira

@itssammira_

3 years

Wako anatoa mimba sio zako

James Bong

@JamieButon

3 years

Twitter crush wako ako known for sucking dick but never yours

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Titties are fun to look at but the booty will always be superior

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Women are always "bad texters" until you fuck them and all of a sudden her phone can't leave her hand

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Samira

@itssammira_

3 years

I know that ain't who I think it is

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Usiwai taka kua funny nigga kwa maisha ya mwanamke hudinyi

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Kuna mwaka Osama alikua anafanya mrarue label za pombe mnatembea na karatasi na biro kama wazimu ati ni revolution no one man should have all that power

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Samira

@itssammira_

3 years

Waguthi akiuliza Kavin mbona ako kwa missing persons page pale IG lafu jamaa amshow mwili ndio iko missing lakini roho ni yeye akonayo

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

BTW no good woman loves cats all the faithful women love dogs

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Justina ni wale ex hungoja anything wrong I happen kwa maisha yako wapige sherehe very toxic woman

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Hiyo jamaa iliteta story za equity mkaanza kumwona kama freedom fighter na hua tribalist kama mbwa discourse nyingi za ukabila huanza kwake

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Unaenda US kitu unarudi nayo ni more gums than teeth no brains no ass just vibes how y'all hit that is beyond me

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Telling the internet a woman made you cry cause she left you the most fatherless behavior I've ever seen

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Ronoh alienda gym kumaliza weight ndio aweze kutoa machungu na few celebs bila kuitwa hippo

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Samira

@itssammira_

3 years

As you get older you’re going to want women to leave you alone and I know it sounds crazy but it's facts

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Ukishambiwa "ew" pale dms unaenda kwa njoki na Mia yako mbili na self esteem ikiwa chini ana fake moan and call you the biggest she ever had unarudi fity may God bless sex workers

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Endeleeni kuonyesha baddies vumbi kabisa ndio bare minimum niggas tukifikiwa penis and tap water is enough like the good ol days

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 months

Maina

@lilmaina_

2 months

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Kila time Gikuyu women wanatendwa my faith in the existence of God is restored

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Your dick getting hard on demand is an underrated skill btw sio Mara moja imekataa kuinuka unambia dame "this has never happened to me before, my love for you might be stronger than my urge to have sex with you"

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Religion hua ujinga tupu

Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

MUNGU TAFADHALI NAKUJA MBELE YAKO JUST ONE GOAL FROM RONALDO KESHO NIRUDI KANISA KUTUKUZA BABA WA MBINGUNI

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Samira

@itssammira_

3 years

Relationship advice from a nigga alianza 1-0 juya mapenzi na akarudishwa streets bado? This the funniest app on earth Hahaha

RaMaverick 💯%

@RamzZy_

3 years

Anyway, mtu asiwadanganye - if you're with a good person, simp! Just make sure they simp back because a healthy relationship is a fair exchange of vibe and everything that comes with it.

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Cell hua funny ju mnaweza kua mmeshikwa na jamaa imedunga suti inaongea kizungu mingi lakini akipewa simu na plug wa hapo ndani anachapa kikisii mbaya na soprano

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Kunyeshewa ukienda wines and spirit would probably be someone's rock bottom but not me I take this shit as a challenge do your worst mother nature

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Unataka kuambiwa "you're amazing Jamie" hahahahaha tonywo ni caitani

James Bong

@JamieButon

2 years

Hakunaga anything interesting about me btw

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Date ata sjui naweza enda kusema nini.. Dame ni akuje mansion apike tukule tulewe tuthicane ainoke

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Swear to God women trying to be funny with football banter is acid to my eyes

Miss Wirtz 💍❤️

@HKuriah

2 years

Arsenal got Jesus we got one of the thieves

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Wewe na uncle yako mnatombewa dame mmoja na Kianangi Familia imejaa beta males tupu... thekete ta goma

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Una unmount TV unakuja kusema umeibiwa kila kitu kwa nyumba for that easy sympathy money hahaha I respect it

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Son when I tell you I'm crying 😂😂😂

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Uko green App hua una slip kiasi unakua hit with one of these

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

I promise you Family Guy has never touched these levels

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Samira

@itssammira_

3 years

Hahah unataka ku distract mtoto wa single mother

James Bong

@JamieButon

3 years

Mnachezaga games gani kwa simu

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Watu hawakunywangi pombe I admire y'all facing life sober ningekua Nishajiua

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Kuku hua nyama yakula once every 6 months that shit is is top 5 most disgusting meat in the world

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Kibe hujaribu kua Kenyan Andrew Tate and it's sad cause he be saying absolutely nothing, at least Tate misogyny yake hua na some kind of reasoning behind it uyo son hu spew his hate on women na arguments kama za mtu ame experience his first heartbreak at 30

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

"iyo bulb yake ata haikuwaka sana" is not something I'd wish to be shamed by

drey

@Dreymwangi

2 years

Hii smart bulb yangu is very important wakati wa mechi👏👌🏿

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

@Gichy_ Kuku umekula hua na kesi kwa DCI?

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

If she owns a pair of these she doesn't have a faithful bone in her body

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Waistbead thread ladies?

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

Endeleeni kuwaumiza bana lower their self esteem sisi bare minimum niggas tu get a piece of the pie bila effort pia

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Samira

@itssammira_

2 years

“I have a boyfriend” would never stop me I mean yeah I know but I thought as a WOMAN letting a MAN dictate what you can and can't do with your genitals is an outdated way of thinking, where's your independence boo,why are you legitimizing patriarchy in 2022 by not fucking me?

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Samira

@itssammira_

3 years

Uyo yengs hua ameweka kina kinyua na wailer in a chokehold hua a solid 3 na iyo moja niya iyo weave hatoangi

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Samira

@itssammira_