LucyP @its_me_lucyp Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

1 year

Sea air has given me great hair

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

26 days

This is Gail’s by the way a relatively new phenomenon to the north west & I haven’t been yet but all my London friends are obsessed- although i just can’t take a chain seriously for being ‘good’ If something has multiple branches I automatically assume it’s shit

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

26 days

@cryptomangZ Why didn’t I think of that *slaps forehead* wherever would one be without anon accounts & their insightful & inventive responses

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

26 days

THE AUDACITY at bragging about it being part of their “not waste” range like we should be grateful to them & proud of ourselves for contributing to reducing food waste when they could just sell it for less money not ONE POUND MORE THAN YESTERDAY

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

8 months

Changing bedding is the worst easy chore isn’t it? Doesn’t take that long. 5 mins max & yet the dread & procrastination is intense

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

I bought a new dress. I am very pleased with it. I know it’s good because a lady in the pub toilets complimented me on in & if something elicits a toilet bond with another woman it’s a winner

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

26 days

@waelgenga A pound less

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

This is just a shameless selfie because I look good. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

26 days

Unsure whether to be impressed or horrified that someone has come up with a concept to capitalise yellow sticker goods to make more profit

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

@Toria_Morris @WaterstonesYork I don’t know you but I am immediately massively invested in your love life

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

10 months

Evidence of my hair looking good before the rain makes it frizzy rats tails

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Just had a call from a mate who’s last minute booked Ibiza & he’s announced he’s bringing his guitar. I pointed out that “no one likes a cunt with an acoustic guitar” Apparently I’m being harsh. I’m not though am I? It is objectively one of the worst things at a gathering

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

9 months

I’ve gone pinker

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

2 months

I’m in full glam Immediately scuffed heel on my brand new shoes & slid over on some soup my dog had decided to steal & spread all over the kitchen floor

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

11 months

Genuine question this…. Has anyone ever actually laughed out loud reading a book? So many reviews are “laugh out loud funny” but did you? Did you ACTUALLY laugh out loud or was it more or a smile & an acknowledging nod

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 months

I’m sorry HOW MUCH

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

The results are in. Dexter does not have cancer!!!

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

4 months

Ok how do we say ibuprofen My whole life & absolutely everyone I know, everyone I have ever met says Eye-bew-prof-fen & then I was in the chemist last week & the woman in front of me asked for Ib-prew-fen & I thought WHAT but dismissed her as a crank AND THEN

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Here’s me having an argument with this idiot because she put dog shit in my paper recycling bin & I asked her to take it out Her: some nice people unlike you who’d let me *waves shit at me* Me: YOU CAN’T PUT DOG SHIT IN A PAPER RECYCLING BIN

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

26 days

“No we can’t throw the food away” squealed Gail’s PR department. “BAD OPTICS. People don’t like that, they see it as wasteful & demand to know why we didn’t donate to a food bank” “But we can’t POSSIBLY sell cheap items, we’ll attract the wrong demographic”

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

1 year

It’s giving Good Will Hunting shoots down the rich guy trying to hit on Minnie Driver in the bar

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

26 days

“I KNOW” shouted back the marketing department “let’s resell our stale goods a day later at a higher price & convince everyone we’re good & they’re good because we’re REDUCING FOOD WASTE”

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

9 months

My Xmas day view is incredible

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Public service announcement for lipstick wearers ( @hari_miller this is the brand I sent you he link for) I bought this off an insta ad & it is ACTUALLY magic

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

11 months

I didn’t die

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

10 months

Photo shoot turned out well 😳 Who knew I could look like THIS

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

8 months

Full glam today

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 months

Good luck & all that jazz to anyone running the marathon, however if it hampers me leaving London later I will be emulating my fave Scouse icon

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

1 month

Shout out to my 8yr old for this increds photo

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Hi all. Please enjoy a video of my ridiculous dog trying to eat his own leg

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Still a bit red & sore on the skull & body & apparently there is a bit of touching up to do but it looks done to me. DEATHMOTH TATTOO 💀 🦋

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

It’s the obligatory I’ve had a haircut selfie

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Dress wearers of the Internet. I feel it is my duty to inform you that I have a dress on AND IT HAS POCKETS

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

26 days

But what we do know is it won’t be with stale pastries selling for more than their fresh price from Gails

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

2 months

Told a man about my getting a tattoo in a kitchen in Mexico while both me & tattooist were on mushrooms & he asked if it happened on my gap year Oh hun no. I’m not posh enough to have done a gap year. It was 2yrs ago. I’m just a person deeply committed to the chaos life

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

These 2 have been bundled off to bed. I am done in. HAPPY CHRISTMAS ALL!!

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

We have our pretty dresses on

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

10 months

WHY ARE THE SHEDS OF SHIT UP IN OCTOBER 😭 Drunk leery tourists Shit you could buy anywhere Armed police SO FESTIVE

Manchester News MEN

@MENnewsdesk

10 months

The first Christmas Market has already opened up in the city centre - offering a bit of early festive cheer.

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Wearing all the medication none of us can access now we’ve left the EU 💊 💊 💊

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

1 month

This evening I booked what I thought was a sunset sightseeing tour in a classic car. Turns out it is in fact a 2hr photoshoot Aside from the fact it was EXTREMELY awkward & I felt v uncomfortable. It is amazing what can be shot on an iPhone

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

The day my daughter stops calling Batman ‘matman’ will be a sad day. As sad as when her brother stopped pronouncing Octopus as Ogpuss

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 months

This morning I’m wondering what your dating app no nos are. Even if someone looks attractive in their pics & is the right age range what makes you immediately say NOPE. I point blank refuse to engage with anyone claiming to be a forex trader or any other form of

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

1 year

Russ Abbot entertained my unhappy toddler in a supermarket in Barbados. He looked genuinely delighted to be doing it as well. Love that man

Joey

@gothamhiphop

1 year

What’s your favorite interaction you’ve had with a celebrity?

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

1 month

Did another balloon flight this morning. Except this time it was in Turkey & I took the kids with me & they were so brave

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

There it is. The haircut. No one knows you’ve been unless you post a pic

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Off to do some day drinking

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

9 months

It’s as festive as I am willing to get

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Am off to pub. Ready & dressed first creepy men to FUCK OFF

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

When I became a mum I honestly thought it was going to open up a whole new world of friendship to me & I was wrong. I don’t know if the women I met were boring AF before they fired something out of their vagina or if the process of doing so also have them a lobotomy

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

4 months

Obligatory I’ve had a haircut pic Cheekbones putting an absolute shift in here. Potentially swelling from my never ending sinus infection but still…. They look great so every cloud

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

It’s the 9yr anniversary of my mum dying (it’s fine, I’m fine, she had 10yrs of Alzheimer’s before it was for the best) NO FUCKER *HUG* ME Anyway every year I send dad flowers & we have this exchange. How long until he accepts I am going to always send flower?! 🤣

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

26 days

Anyway I haven’t got a kitchen at the mo or food in because got home from holiday yesterday evening but I am in possession of 2 children who need feeding so was browsing Deliveroo & there’s Gail’s

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

4yr old saw me with a tampon. Asked what it was. I explained “I don’t want that to happen” Explained that it will happen “I don’t want to be a grown up if that happens” CAPTURING THE MOOD OF AN ENTIRE GENDER

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

We all have a pile of stuff on our bed that at night we chuck on the floor & in the morning pile back on the bed right? RIGHT? Not just me that still lives like a teenager?

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

The replacement chaise longue is back which means I can go back to being as EXTRA AS FUCK

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

The most extra I have ever been

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

I have been forced to unfollow someone for using the phase ‘boobie juice’. I just can not cope with that kind of twee. 100% she also refers to wine as ‘mummy juice’

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

9 months

The dog has stolen an entire roast chicken & decided to eat it dripping grease & all on the sofa & my children didn’t think to stop him. Just let him crack in with it I do not have the patience to deal with this level of bullshit before the day has even begun

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

8 months

People who can not effectively manoeuvre the size of the car they are in should be forced to drive a smaller car until they can cope

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

2 months

What I really don’t understand about the ‘we want our country back’ reform nonces is - back from where? Wasn’t that the only grift of UKIP & Brexit? Where do they think we’ve gone. We’re marooned on a hell island. Alone. Cut off from Europe, thanks to them

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

How are my mirrors looking today?

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Last look of 2019 of my mirrors & messy bedroom. Shout out to all the anon avi men who felt the need to comment on the mess last time. Happy Non Specific Gathering of Friends Day everyone! (I hate NYE & prefer that title)

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

9 months

I would immediately write you off as a psychopath

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

1 year

Had a great sex dream last night & I have no idea who the person was which is bizarre as usually it’s someone I know & already fornicated with. FINGERS CROSSED THIS IS ME HAVING A PREMONITION

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Found my mum’s engagement ring. I think it belonged to my granny before her. Needs a good clean but if I can look at it without sobbing I’ll start wearing it

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

First haircut selfie of the year. Inexplicably year after year the most popular of my #content over on Instagram 🤷🏻‍♀️ I do way more interesting stuff than get my hair done.... or maybe I don’t

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

26 days

Anyway. Back to my woes & why I was on Deliveroo anyway this morning. This is my “kitchen” The kids are thrilled because what an adventure 😩 Meanwhile I’m bent over double with labour like stomach cramps & wondering how I’m going to feed them here for the next few days

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Me: no I don’t want to do anything for my 40th. Not arsed Also me: I’ve booked private dining with views over the city & you’re all expected to prepare a 5-10 minute presentation on how & why I’ve brought joy into your life

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

2 months

Me: I left the town I grew up in as soon as I was 18. It’s a racist shithole Everyone: come on now Lucy it can’t be THAT bad, you exaggerate surely Me: CASE IN POINT REFORM GOT IN

Beth Rigby

@BethRigby

2 months

BOSTON: RICHARD TICE WINS - 4th REFORM SEAT

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

YEAH SHE IS!!

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

1 year

These cost £9 I immediately demanded a refund

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

#NewProfilePic

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

It’s nice when men out themselves as being rapey bad dangers on a public forum. Makes it easier to know who to avoid

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

3 months

#NewProfilePic

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

6 months

Had a vague idea I could stop using twitter & for about a month I did but I was a fool. I should have known better. I am trapped here forever. We all are

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Further things making me emotional. Apparently my son was at a BBQ yesterday & there was a game of pass the parcel & he won but he discreetly passed to a younger child so they thought they’d won. He didn’t tell me this, he doesn’t do these things for praise😭😭😭😭😭😭

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Went full romantic with my nails today

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Got a new t-shirt

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

6 months

No context photo of me in the woods

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

My 4yr old is clinging to me like a limpet & crying & says “it’s hurts” what I can’t get out of her is what hurts so I’m going to assume the election result & that she’s upset at having to grow up in a country of self serving cunts 🤷🏻‍♀️

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Are you kidding me? I love men. Men are ace, every single man in my life is amazing. Misogynistic cunts who think I owe them anything on the basis they want me to engage with them can fuck off to hell

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

4 months

I went to the chemist & asked for ibuprofen & the woman behind the counter corrected me & said ib-prew-fen? Eye-bew-pro-fen yes please Are these 2 women lone rogues or do more of you say in this weird way?

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

1 year

What is it with people failing to grasp that sex attackers & rapists do also have consensual sex. Sometimes they have had consensual sex with the person they go on to rape. A woman or multiple women saying “he was nice to me” is not proof that he didn’t rape others

Breaking news 24/7

@Breaking7Newss

1 year

The surprise was when this girl, a former partner of Russell Brand, spoke and exposed the media with evidence. She confirmed that Brand was indeed nice to her and that everything between them was consensual. However, her narration did not align with the mainstream media

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

Son: mummy why do you only buy us adidas trainers Me: because that’s what I wear Son: are there other types of trainer in the world? Me: No & happily he seems to have accepted that

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

5 years

It’s finally done!

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

9 months

Contemplating a move to Sri Lanka because my hair has never looked so good with zero effort. Usually left to its natural devices I turn into Crystal Tipps

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

11 months

As I’ve mentioned before if someone cancels a first date with me on the day my hard & fast rule on that is game over. I never tell them that, I graciously accept that they’re cancelling & that I’ll let them know when I’m next free then either unfollow on Instagram or delete

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LucyP

@its_me_lucyp

1 year

Living my best disco raspberry life