christopher @its_Xopher Twitter profile

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christopher

@its_Xopher

4 months

The chances of being bitten by a shark are estimated at 1 in 3,750,000. The odds of being hit by a car are 1 in 4,200. 1 in 8 cases of childhood asthma are caused by car exhaust. The Governor of New York is not a serious person.

Governor Kathy Hochul

@GovKathyHochul

4 months

With new shark drones and pilots to monitor our state beaches on Long Island, we’re going to take the bite out of shark attacks this summer 🦈

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 months

Whatever consultants told her to drop “we’re not going back” should never have another job with the Democratic Party

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 years

Portia and Tanya connecting the dots

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christopher

@its_Xopher

5 months

What are we doing here folks? The hood of this lifted truck is taller than the car in front of it. Get these death machines off our roads.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

1 year

“How many times have you watched Red, White & Royal Blue?” Me:

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christopher

@its_Xopher

4 months

Not now sweetie mommy’s cyberbullying Kathy Hochul to save congestion pricing

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 years

Lightning during sunset in NW DC

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christopher

@its_Xopher

5 months

@VicenteATX_ As a pedestrian I like my chances against the little car, thanks.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 months

Guy next to me on my Amtrak train has beefy, hairy thighs and slutty little shorts. Please pray for me during this difficult time.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

3 years

@phosphor_glow no seriously which one of y’all infiltrated the marketing department

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christopher

@its_Xopher

5 months

You’ll never see these reply guys defend the massive blind spots, the increased braking distance, or the damage they inflict in an accident. They’ll just shout “soy boy” or threaten to run you over.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

5 months

@LandlrdoDFedral Are you in need of medical assistance??

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christopher

@its_Xopher

5 months

“What about semi trucks? And buses? And garbage trucks?? Do you want to ban them too??” Those all require special licenses. Begging you blue checks to - and I hate to use a car metaphor here - start firing on all cylinders.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

4 months

SovCit cars parked on public streets should be towed on sight. No tickets, no warnings - just straight to the scrapyard. I’m so serious.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

3 months

Lghting off fireworks in an urban area is deeply anti-social behavior and I don’t respect people who do it.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 years

Another incredible lightning strike here in DC just after sunset.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

5 months

Dipshits screaming “fascism” for suggesting the government agencies that already regulate a thousand other things about these vehicles and their operation on public roads also regulate their hood size and ability to be lifted

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christopher

@its_Xopher

1 year

People in DC complain about how parking is hard to find, yet both of these vehicles pay the same amount for a parking permit. On street parking should be more expensive for larger vehicles.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 months

Another week with a rental car in a suburban hellhole for work and my GOD. Everything is so FAR. I just want to WALK places! It’s all ugly parking lots and the noise and traffic are UNPLEASANT. Does no one else here find this an insane way to organize a society??!

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christopher

@its_Xopher

5 months

@giedriusci @VicenteATX_ Crosswalks exist. So do crashes.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

3 months

My first time in a cockpit (on a plane)

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christopher

@its_Xopher

9 months

PUT IN SOME FUCKING SEATING 🔫🤪

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christopher

@its_Xopher

5 months

Hundreds of psychopaths in my replies today revealing themselves to be utterly devoid of 1) empathy for people outside of a vehicle (or in smaller vehicles) or 2) critical thinking skills. Incredible to share air with these people.

christopher

@its_Xopher

5 months

What are we doing here folks? The hood of this lifted truck is taller than the car in front of it. Get these death machines off our roads.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

1 year

what if we kissed on my balcony and watched the planes flying into DCA

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 years

Week 1 of the new Monroe St bus island, let’s see how we’re doi— oh, ok. @ddotdc #bikedc

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christopher

@its_Xopher

5 months

@LandlrdoDFedral well you certainly seem like the kind of person that would find that appealing

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christopher

@its_Xopher

21 days

On a first date tonight with a cute guy and five minutes in, without me bringing it up at all, he volunteers: “I love driving around DC. I hate taking the Metro.”

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christopher

@its_Xopher

11 months

Apple Maps does transit, navigation, street-level detail (note the lane markings and trees!), and UI massively better than Google Maps plus no ads. The only advantage Google still has in big cities is a more robust review system, although Apple is making progress there.

Darrell Owens

@IDoTheThinking

11 months

Google Maps is really being left in the dust by Apple Maps in every way. Hate how Google's disposition is to assume its name brand gives it impenetrable market dominance and no improvements are necessary.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

1 year

The Top Secret documents hiding in the Mar-A-Lago shower

Kyle Griffin

@kylegriffin1

1 year

The indictment: Trump was PERSONALLY INVOLVED in packing boxes at the White House — and in early 2021 had some classified documents stored on a ballroom stage, then stored in a bathroom and a shower.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

4 months

We really should organize a constant stream of cars to circle the streets around the house of every politician who opposes congestion pricing. Constant horn honking. So much traffic they can’t get out their driveways. Make them feel what urban residents do every fucking day

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christopher

@its_Xopher

11 months

Lot of QTs and replies saying “who’s concerned about fare evasion?” and I need some of y’all to log off twitter and touch grass. Fare evasion consistently ranks as a top issue in WMATA rider surveys! Most people don’t like anti-social behavior, actually!

Metro Forward

@wmata

11 months

We’ve heard your concerns and taken action to deter fare evasion. Our upgraded faregates at Capitol South mark the 11th station to receive them. Learn more: #wmata

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 years

@dlberes “Cars, which cost an average of $10,000 a year, equal freedom. But the $1,000 e-bike is expensive and doesn’t look cool.” A car company fronted this op-ed, didn’t it?

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christopher

@its_Xopher

4 years

I want to date a man who thinks going to the planetarium sounds fun

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christopher

@its_Xopher

1 year

Can we investigate why a branch of the DC government is pushing NFTs via paid promotion?

District of Columbia Department of Buildings

@DC_DOB

2 years

Improve neighborhoods across the District by purchasing NFTs to support local artists who are beautifying vacant properties.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

4 months

@blgtandi Nihilism isn’t cute

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christopher

@its_Xopher

1 year

The head of the DC region’s transit agency biking to get drivers out of the bus lanes is a sight to behold. Is there a more visible and proactive transit manager in the country right now?

Randy Clarke

@wmataGM

1 year

Took a 🚲 ride w/ some @wmata friends to remind people that bus lanes are for #wmata 🚌 & not 🚙! Our operators & ~400k bus riders/day deserve RESPECT and that means no parking in bus stops/lanes. We will never stop working to improve #yourmetro

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christopher

@its_Xopher

4 months

“Why do you even care about congestion pricing? You don’t live in New York.” I believe NYC children deserve clean air and safe streets. I believe everyone deserves emergency services that arrive in a timely manner. And if NYC can do it, maybe there’s hope for the rest of us

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christopher

@its_Xopher

1 year

The C St NE redesign is so good! A Dutch-style #bikeDC lane, dignified bus stops, handicapped spots with access ramps, bioswales, raised crosswalks & best of all - noticeably slower vehicle traffic! Thank you, @DDOTDC . We need more complete streets like this all over the city!

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christopher

@its_Xopher

17 days

WMATA retweeting a furry meetup now I’ve seen everything

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christopher

@its_Xopher

1 year

Every time I pass this spot on the @MetBranchTrail I think about how nice it would be if it were turned into a walk up/bike up coffee/beer spot.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

1 year

My personal opinion is that a good transit agency should be aware of a major event with 60,000 attendees and provide additional service automatically, not require out of town event organizers to request it @wmata @wmataGM

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christopher

@its_Xopher

10 months

I’m sick and tired of transit being treated like some unnecessary expenditure we can only afford when times are good and highways treated as a requirement for a functioning society. It’s appalling we’re even talking about these types of service cuts.

DCist

@DCist

10 months

Nearly half of Metro's bus routes could be eliminated if the system does not secure additional funding from D.C., Maryland, and Virginia, according to WMATA's latest budget proposal.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

5 years

I don’t really want to do the work today

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christopher

@its_Xopher

1 year

Uma Thurman has supplanted Jennifer Garner as most supportive mother in a coming out scene.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

1 year

Fantastic news: DC is moving forward with its own e-bike rebate program! $750 for an e-bike or $1000 for an e-cargo bike; double those amounts for income-qualified residents. Additional money for replacement batteries, locks, and modifications for accessibility also included!

Martin Austermuhle

@maustermuhle

1 year

Not the biggest D.C. Council news of the day, but: A bill from @charlesallen that would provide rebates/vouchers for the purchase of e-bikes just passed unanimously. It was pre-funded in the budget, so it becomes reality on Oct. 1.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

1 year

@TroyMeaz This is so trashy how are you not embarrassed

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christopher

@its_Xopher

9 months

A 3-story rowhome in WASHINGTON DC is apparently a “towering development” and a “complete disaster” worthy of a 5+ minute video segment. Absolutely unhinged rhetoric from all parties involved.

NBC4 Washington

@nbcwashington

9 months

Southeast D.C. residents are fuming after a towering development went up on a small lot they thought could not be developed. "It's just been a complete mess. A complete disaster for this neighborhood," an ANC commissioner said after a confusing process.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

5 months

@LandlrdoDFedral oh no did I hurt the car’s feelings?

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christopher

@its_Xopher

5 years

@kissmy_ashlie @fr0laye @_TheRuler BLANK EGGS LMAOOO 😂

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christopher

@its_Xopher

10 months

Last tweet tonight about DC but @MayorBowser is the worst thing to happen to this city in a long time. She rode the wave of easy money rejuvenating city centers and then squandered the opportunity by mismanaging this city in every way possible. What a travesty.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

10 months

@rice_rust_belt She’s a state in my heart 😢 DC is S tier

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christopher

@its_Xopher

6 months

i hate DC because what do you mean your grindr name is “Handsy Pelosi”

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christopher

@its_Xopher

8 years

You can tell which twitter users have never watched Rachel Maddow before. She always provides context on major stories #TrumpTaxes

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christopher

@its_Xopher

3 months

DC’s streak of year-over-year bikeshare growth continues unabated as we approach 600,000 monthly trips for the first time. The city should accelerate funding for high quality bike infrastructure to match this explosive demand, especially on critical routes like Connecticut Ave

Greater Greater Washington

@ggwash

3 months

CaBi hit a historic high of 584,402 trips in June 2024, breaking the all-time monthly ridership record – and saw its highest ridership day ever. Learn more in this month’s Bikeshare Beat:

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christopher

@its_Xopher

11 months

@JoshuaLopez202 Wrong. Studies have shown protected bike lanes make streets safer for everyone - including drivers - because people are forced to slow down. This is a neighborhood with high pedestrian traffic. A 6 lane speedway has no place here. There’s nothing silly about it.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

1 year

Having a transit GM that actually *loves* transit is the best thing to happen to DC. Other cities take note.

Randy Clarke

@wmataGM

1 year

@wmata ➡️ @Amtrak ➡️ @NYCTSubway for @nycmarathon

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 months

DC is so nice on the days when a bunch of suburbanites aren’t driving through the city honking their horns and making the air unbreathable!

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christopher

@its_Xopher

4 years

@FJS1422 @NBCNews She wasn’t asked to give a speech for Biden. This was a procedural thing for the nominees (Biden and Sanders) and a formality. It happens at every convention.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

3 months

Here’s the crash data across DC *just in 2024 YTD.* These crashes have caused 32 fatalities and 3,800 injuries, with over 600 of those injuries to people walking & biking. Fuck driver entitlement and fuck the people in the replies acting like speeding in a city isn’t a big deal

Helly

@HeyyHellyy

3 months

Man fuck DC and these dumb ass speeding tickets. They got cameras everywhere dawg, on the light poles, in the bushes, on the crackheads like wtf

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 years

I understand most of you don’t live in DC and therefore this isn’t a pressing issue - but the anger and pain here in the city is very real right now. Claiming to support home rule while agreeing to sign a bill overturning our laws is a huge slap in the face. What a farce.

President Biden

@POTUS

2 years

I support D.C. Statehood and home-rule – but I don’t support some of the changes D.C. Council put forward over the Mayor’s objections – such as lowering penalties for carjackings. If the Senate votes to overturn what D.C. Council did – I’ll sign it.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 years

@SupJaniceHahn Would you want your children crossing this intersection, Supervisor?

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christopher

@its_Xopher

3 months

On the green line from Navy Yard up to Gallery Place surrounded by a large group of 20 somethings when one of them says: “Oh my god we’ve never ventured so deep into DC before” 🙃🙃

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christopher

@its_Xopher

7 months

what if we kissed at the 8000 series mockup train 🥹

Metro Forward

@wmata

7 months

Tomorrow… #FleetoftheFuture 🚇🚍 #wmata

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christopher

@its_Xopher

11 months

Counterpoint:

DMercer--I dissent.

@53viroqua

11 months

For the love of God, don't paint your brick! Sawyer Ave., Chicago, ca. 1890

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 months

🚨 paging all dc transit gays 🚨

caro

@bagelaureate

2 months

we have the best transit agency in the world @wmata

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christopher

@its_Xopher

10 months

The DC Metro isn’t just the lifeblood of our region, but vital for the functioning of the federal government. It’s a travesty it’s the only major transit system w/o dedicated operational funding It’s time for Congress, MD, DC & VA to provide consistent $$ for this public service

Adam Tuss

@AdamTuss

10 months

NEW: Metro’s GM says for the first time that a regional tax should be discussed to permanently fund the transit agency. The comments come as Metro faces a massive $750 million budget shortfall. His full interview from @nbcwashington here: #wmata @wmataGM

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christopher

@its_Xopher

6 years

@tedcruz No, Teddy boy. That’s not what happened. This was a narrow decision on this very specific case. Try again.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

1 year

My dad is working overtime getting me new Hinge photos 😭 The real MVP

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christopher

@its_Xopher

5 months

The @UnionMarketDC desperately needs a massive redesign into a pedestrian-first space. The sidewalks are over-crowded and narrow, and drivers roll way too quickly through it.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

10 months

@tweetelissa I’m a progressive and this is a super bad take from you. There’s been plenty of fear-mongering but it’s also imperative to acknowledge that DC is an outlier amongst other American cities. Something is broken here.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

8 months

Imagining @WMATA ’s brutalist metro stations but with platform edge doors

Gus

@unspecificocean

8 months

I visited the Sydney Metro Victoria Cross Station open day today! This is a thread of photos I took and thoughts I have about the station.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

4 years

@AndreyKun85 @NYCTSubway @NYCMayor @NYGovCuomo You thought it was a good idea to photograph someone like this, in what is very likely a car that’s nowhere close to full, and tag the mayor and governor? JFC.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

8 months

Well @DDOTDC finally closed the K St NE #bikeDC network gap in front of Wilson Elementary School! Let’s check in and— Oh.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 months

He just dismissed a twitter screen time limit and I’ve never felt more connected to someone

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christopher

@its_Xopher

10 months

My flight boards in 20 minutes and I’m still on Metro lol. Watch this space

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christopher

@its_Xopher

8 months

hey can we just keep this weather year round

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christopher

@its_Xopher

1 month

@HomaBashNews Why did the drivers need to be featured at all? It’s always been illegal to park in a bus lane or block a bus stop. The only difference is that now there are cameras on affected buses that guarantee law breakers will be caught. What value did their complaints add to the story?

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christopher

@its_Xopher

9 months

Being a DC resident and seeing this incredible building fenced off - the surrounding streets blockaded by tanks and men with machine guns - for *months* after January 6 was surreal. It’s hard not to be outraged the man responsible is still free and running for president.

christopher

@its_Xopher

4 years

Sen. Dick Durbin talking about Lincoln’s decision to keep building the dome during the Civil War era. This is one of my favorite historical photos of DC.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

8 months

if you tweet about bikes, trains, or housing I just assume you’re gay until proven otherwise

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christopher

@its_Xopher

8 months

To make DC more vibrant, healthy, and livable, we don’t need to desperately beg suburban drivers to bring their SUVs back to the city. We should: - route unwanted through traffic out to the capital beltway - pedestrianize major commercial corridors - make some streets bus only

Jim Charlier

@TheCharlier

8 months

Dublin joins other European capital cities in limiting motor vehicle traffic in its city center, in a "bid to clear the roads and clean the air..."

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 months

By “minimizing design criteria,” @WMATA is saving 70% on new bus shelters while still providing all the basic features you’d expect. That means more shelters and faster installs with less money. Incredible to see a US transit GM who understands the downsides of gold-plating

Randy Clarke

@wmataGM

2 months

Thx for highlighting this investment. New shelters improve safety, accessibility & customer comfort and with improved collaboration these are being installed for ~70% less than original budgeted. Better Bus in action!

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christopher

@its_Xopher

6 months

Basel, a city with less than a third the population of Washington, DC, has 4 times as many trains per day, several trams that are served in front of the station, and an underground bike garage you can ride straight into.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 years

Here’s my quick attempt (~20 mins) at fixing this up. Uses the @DDOTDC #VisionZero logo and motto (this is supposed to be a Vision Zero Awareness plate after all given the “VZA”…), replaces MAMIL imagery, gets rid of the blood red color, and actually uses a DC skyline. #bikeDC

DC DMV

@dcdmv

2 years

Exciting news! DC DMV now offers Bicycle Awareness specialty vehicle tags. Tags are available at all DC DMV Service Centers and fees will be deposited into the Vision Zero Pedestrian and Bicycle Safety Fund. 🚲🌟 Learn more:

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christopher

@its_Xopher

4 years

Ru looking at the price of crude oil:

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 years

@dlberes Anyway, I feel pretty cool being able to pick up my groceries on my e-bike and not needing a $40,000 vehicle, sitting in traffic, and b*tching about finding a parking spot to do it.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

3 months

A lot of replies missing the point. Fireworks are fun and fine in certain areas. Setting them off steps from hundreds of neighbors’ homes is a dick move. Nuance people!

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christopher

@its_Xopher

5 months

@Evan_Rink And you not seeing how that decision impacts others is part of the problem.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

7 months

New @USPS stamps arrived! My mail is gonna be so on brand for me now 🚂 📬

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 years

@PatrickRuffini The speed limit is set for pedestrian safety, Patrick. I see you live in DC, so surely you’ve noticed all the people walking around?

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 years

As angry as I am at @POTUS , it’s worth saying @MayorBowser deserves a ton of blame here. Her fear-mongering over this bill for her own political gain laid the groundwork for this massive setback to #DCStatehood . Shame on @MurielBowser .

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christopher

@its_Xopher

2 months

You can’t even build housing like this by right in much of Washington, DC - a city famously known for its rowhomes.

YIMBYLAND

@YIMBYLAND

2 months

I can't believe America perfected suburban housing and then just… stopped building like this.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

10 months

Really interesting to see people who “care about DC” absolutely relishing in the loss of economic activity downtown. I stand firm in my belief that most of the twitter crime accounts want DC to fail. They’re sick fucks that enjoy watching the city diminish.

7News DC

@7NewsDC

10 months

BREAKING: The owner of the Washington Wizards and Washington Capitals is expected to make an announcement Wednesday with Virginia Gov. Youngkin at the proposed site of a new sports complex, sources said. Details Below:

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christopher

@its_Xopher

4 years

@jonlovett Especially in light of foreboding tweets like this

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christopher

@its_Xopher

1 year

My dad is *thriving* in Italy. He sent me this yesterday from his place in Naples. He’s down 70 pounds from a year ago, working fewer hours, gone vegetarian, and is happier than I’ve seen him in years.

christopher

@its_Xopher

2 years

My dad’s about to move to Italy for at least 3 years, so I’m grateful to have been able to surprise him with one more visit to NYC & Broadway shows as a Father’s Day gift before he leaves. Walking the city & discussing our favorite engineering projects I won’t soon forget ❤️

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christopher

@its_Xopher

5 months

I love biking in DC so much

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christopher

@its_Xopher

6 months

POV: we’re having dinner together in Milan

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christopher

@its_Xopher

3 years

@ebruenig @benjaminhaddad A disgusting take. DC is an incredible city with a unique history, fantastic culture, and wonderful residents. DC is not Congress - maybe take a hot moment to get to know the people and city more.

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christopher

@its_Xopher

5 years

A few years ago, my father was very religious and homophobic. This weekend, he wished me happy #Pride and used the 🏳️‍🌈 emoji for the first time. It may seem small, but it brought me to tears. I believe people can change if we give them time and show them love. Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈❤️

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