Roy Profile Banner
Roy Profile
Roy

@iamroykip

21,441
Followers
7,169
Following
806
Media
104,903
Statuses

I am Mr. LifeGoesOn.

Joined October 2020
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Nishai enda sleep over kwa dem, after round one nikasema wacha nijiekele kidogo as the 1 minute man I am😄, chali yake akabisha mlango, nikaruka kwa kiti, jamaa kuingia dem akasema "baby usipige kelele utaamsha bro wangu mdogo." Usiku nilikua naskia dem akipigwa vitu naskia kulia
151
382
2K
@iamroykip
Roy
3 months
Every time Zakayo looks between R and Y on his keyboard
Tweet media one
74
132
2K
@iamroykip
Roy
9 months
Uhunye was built differently. That man was so humble, down to earth. Nakumbuka Nov 2019 niliingia huko Ngara majioni kusalimia Mathe. Kuingia kwa choche nikasikia nimeitwa kando na jamaa akisema, "oyah bro kuja upate mali safi" . Nikaamua tu nichukue hio borake zishike. Sikuwa na
67
306
2K
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
How does your partner ask for sex??
220
222
2K
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Mimi hujiangalia kwa kioo then i silently say "hapa bila pesa"...
91
368
2K
@iamroykip
Roy
7 months
Kuna time nimeenda pale archives kungoja cuzo alikua anatoka ocha na hajui Nai vizuri. Ghafla bin vu kuna huyu dem ameniapproach na akanihug and apologised by saying "sorry aki nimekueka sana" still in shock and confused nikamjibu na "isokay no biggy" dem akanishika mkono
65
203
1K
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Kama unaitwa Cynthia Ngaruiya tulikuwa na wewe jana Thika kujia documents zako...sifanyi kazi na County nilikuwa mlevi😩
53
178
987
@iamroykip
Roy
1 year
Tweet media one
@itsslugger_
SLUGGER
1 year
Huwa mnafanya nini mkiwa at your lowest
3
14
38
18
157
967
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Mbona madem huwa wanatetemeka after sex?
90
127
783
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Kamba + Kamba=Pornstars Kisii + Meru=Fast and furious Meru + Meru =Wrong turn Kisii + Kamba=The Witcher Kikuyu + Kikuyu=Money Heist Don't spoil the fun keep going 👇
134
165
820
@iamroykip
Roy
1 year
The first mistake you made was to win this race😅
Tweet media one
87
288
855
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Who should cum first between a Man and a Woman??
88
124
653
@iamroykip
Roy
9 months
Mi nae stori zangu niliamua nitakuwa najiwekea to the last minute. Stori za kuwa overwhelmed hadi naanza kushare my stories hapana. 2019 girlfriend alipata mapacha buana hio time sikuwa na wira ama any source of income. Hadi dooh ya maternity nilikuwa nimekopa Uncle
27
142
783
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Girls be wondering why we prefer FPL over them, they don't know there is free hit😆
24
128
696
@iamroykip
Roy
25 days
Can the president himself be alive after taking 8 bullets? He is busy talking about the destruction of properties while he hasn't even visited those in hospital following the protests. Hustlers, we are on our own. VERY READY FOR TUESDAY. #RutoMustGo #OccupyChurches
56
355
714
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Having one girlfriend is dangerous....what if she dies??
61
84
576
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Road trip watu huenda miguu?
38
102
456
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Lakini ile 80M walibuy nayo Maguire wangesaidia nayo Arsenal walipe ile fuliza walichukua kununua Pepe
24
87
437
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
When a girl visits and it starts raining, just know that meal🍑🍆has been approved by the heavens 😂
51
83
470
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Hii ndio wahenga walisema "Aliketi Kitako"
Tweet media one
60
117
469
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Ladies mbona huwa mnatetemeka miguu after mechi?
42
90
433
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Rip to the souls that we lost in 2021. Don't scroll without commenting heart❤
50
86
369
@iamroykip
Roy
4 years
Finger your girl everytime she wears a skirt or a short dress, its just common courtesy!
41
70
400
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Use protection you don't know who your partners are sleeping with
9
69
369
@iamroykip
Roy
11 months
Hide your women😄
Tweet media one
81
88
412
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
When your husband is sick and the elders ask you, "Is he still eating?" Thy don't mean food. Have some wisdom!
33
104
334
@iamroykip
Roy
7 months
Kuna siku nilikuwa naenda Utawala. Nikachukulia mat Jogoo road. a beautiful chocolate chick akakuja akaketi nex to me. Sheesh!! Kama Kawaida nikaanza kutupa lines lzenye hawezi ruka. Nilimwambia anifuate akuje aone side hustle yangu, ati mimi ni wochi,
21
84
410
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Usiwai delete number ya EX. Kuna time kiangazi inaeza kupiga
39
96
315
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
She be sacking D and massaging the Balls at the same time, my soul was almost leaving my body😟
18
69
315
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Hawa madem tunapiganga nao sherehe campo nani atawaoa?
42
55
298
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Siste ukiangalia body count yako huoni ni wakati wakupumzika? Motherboard itaharibika
30
90
312
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Nimemiss kuskia "Si hapo babe"...halafu anakashika anaingiza dambi ya stove mahali inafaa.
31
102
272
@iamroykip
Roy
4 years
Unapeleka dem round kumi...si utaharibu mother board yake
59
42
300
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Ati ju alinitext good night wa mwisho jana, leo haezi nitext wa kwanza. This gender😂
33
84
267
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
I am frustrated like an armless man watching porn🙁
21
86
262
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Ask a woman what a good man should be like and watch her describe a slave
14
92
299
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Baby i am pregnant... reply as a broke boyfriend??
68
63
279
@iamroykip
Roy
7 months
@MumbuEu Focus on your life. Not all men are like your dad. Halafu naeza pata number ya mama yako?
48
55
349
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Huyu ananiuliza kama niko na gari, nimemwambia ile kitu niko nayo inaguruma ni tumbo pekee.
19
78
241
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Huyu highschooler ananiuliza kama akam nimpee summary ya ile topic ya METALS before arudi chuo
41
79
291
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
A horny man once said??
48
31
266
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Huyu anakojoa Ribena😄
Tweet media one
35
50
292
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
A man with a small fish is not interested with a big pond.
15
82
250
@iamroykip
Roy
4 years
Flirting is childish,we are grown now; i just want to taste your private parts 🤪
53
37
257
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Naona vitu tight na boobz hazijui gravity zimekuja mid-midterm😋
31
38
249
@iamroykip
Roy
4 years
Yaaani kabisa kabisa hakuna dem brave enough to text a nigga "I WANT SOME DICK"‼️
56
35
245
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Her: Did you pull out?? Me: You were calling me Daddy and I thought you wanted to have kids
12
64
243
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Lakini kulala kama mmeshikana ni top tier. Ona haurelate ju umezoea kujibaka😂
30
87
273
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Are you scared of death or afraid of the manner in which you are gonna die?
23
70
239
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Kupewa juice,halafu useme utakunywa after umekula, ni kitu ya kufukuzwa kwa wenyewe??
26
65
227
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Imagine getting married at the age of your battery percent...now what's your battery percentage??😂
53
58
236
@iamroykip
Roy
4 years
Huyu amesema hanipei tena ati namwaga bila kipimo😔
39
28
245
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Sorry i ghosted you. I was depressed and wanted to die but now i am horny...wya? Wyd?
15
84
225
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Siku moja utaambiwa "come base nikuchome" upate wamewasha tire
14
65
271
@iamroykip
Roy
9 months
Mimi kama uko single siwezi kutaka, mbona wengine hawakutaki. Mimi sio fala
18
137
284
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
@yourchiq @DennaJeal Nitakuja na kitamba wet nikupanguze uso halafu nianze kubargain... Uko sure utafika sungura nne na kuku mbili?
39
17
274
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Men don't embarrass yourselves. If she said that she would come and the time was agreed don't text her,don't call her. If you are worth her time she will definitely come. Remember you are the prize ~End of Tweet~
11
107
233
@iamroykip
Roy
4 years
Halafu maringo iendanishane na sura tafadhali😂
49
33
242
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Which computer sings the best?? A Dell 😂
19
56
236
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Ladies make sure your Thickness does not extend to your head!
13
71
250
@iamroykip
Roy
4 years
Maisha imekua ngumu side yangu kwani ni mimi nilichaguliwa nikue funzo kwa wengine😩😩😩
48
47
231
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Wacheni kuongelea valentine's mnatupea pressure buana
8
71
214
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
I am not an English teacher but I can make you produce vowel sounds
12
65
231
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Mimi naye huwa si underperform. Ni huruma tu huwa nawaonea
15
52
211
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
If you Fuck Her You Better Do A Good Job Those Female Group Chats Be Leathaalll?!! 😂
38
49
229
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
The reason I love Kenyan girls is because I have never been outside Kenya😭
10
64
218
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Lakini wanaume hufuata Amerix 98% undergo the things he talks about, Facts!, but they are not ready to accept.
12
64
189
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Gilbeys mnapiga dry dry lakini mala munaweka sukari... ama nishugulike na maini yangu
17
67
207
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
A man has to be financially stable to date a broke woman😂😂
15
63
235
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Nimepatana na dem mkonda amevaa dera anakaa windsock
29
67
237
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Normalize dating within your IQ level to avoid explaining obvious things.
23
109
238
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Living in Kenya should be included in your CV,it’s a skill too💔
41
80
191
@iamroykip
Roy
7 months
Nikambeba hadi bedroom. Long story short, sikuwaangusha. Katikati ya shuguli dem akimoan akaniita Ben, kwanza alisema "yes Ben. Like Ben, like that!" Ben mahali uko I am very sorry sikupenda kwangu ilikua mistaken Identity. Lakini uko na taste.
2
10
251
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Would you leave your partner for KES 10,000?
34
59
171
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Mimi labda uambie baba yako anieke dp ndio nijue unanipenda😔
14
57
187
@iamroykip
Roy
9 months
cash akasema nilipe tu Mpesa.Kwenda kutuma nikaona ile mpesa imeleta Uhuru Kenyatta nikashangaa rada!! Kumuangalia nione kaa ni Kamwana nikapata ni yeye kumamaye! Nikapigwa na butwaa kiasi. Kusita sita kiasi ndio hao mapopo ikabidi tujitoe kihuti. Ndio Mimi huyo nyuma yake kihuti
1
20
244
@iamroykip
Roy
4 years
Manzi/Chali yako ashai come over mkachill tu ama lazima vitu za kukojoa zisalimiane...lazima katambe???
49
22
190
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
The only way to identify a female mosquito is to watch closely the one that flies around your pocket
24
63
176
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Why is it that your nose runs but your feet smells?? 😂
33
44
195
@iamroykip
Roy
10 months
A hunter who comes home with meat everyday is a thief
11
133
232
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Can we smoke a blunt and make out?
20
49
179
@iamroykip
Roy
4 years
Nikiwa mdogo nilikua sura mbaya,kuna dem aliambiwa akue bibi yangu akaanza kulia😂🤦🏾‍♂️
33
33
187
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Dem mfupi anakushoutia kama ameshika kiuono anakaa kikombe 😂😂
23
43
173
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
19
69
165
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
No beef just distance,silence and respect ✌
9
66
185
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Slapping your Meat on her Coochie before you slide it in🤪🤤
48
34
197
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Ati wajaluo husema 'samak' na 'serkal' ndio wa preserve 'i' watumie kwa ipod na ipad
27
56
175
@iamroykip
Roy
7 months
Women getting an attitude because they miss you is a real thing??
16
98
222
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Manchser United Fan: "Manchester united are still Title Contenders." Manchester City fan: "Kama ngavuta bhangi ngavuta fine bhangi wachana na nyaru" 😂😂😂
10
62
175
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Roll your feellings in a blunt and smoke that shit away
13
61
168
@iamroykip
Roy
8 months
Mkujie baraka za mwisho before niwaache🤒
Tweet media one
39
57
215
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Suck His Dick Every Morning to thank him for choosing you
19
35
193
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
You are not a Kenyan if you've ever left a message after the tone😂
9
64
194
@iamroykip
Roy
8 months
Shout out to all ladies who hustle with their legs closed
14
110
218
@iamroykip
Roy
3 years
Siku hizi lazima uulize dem kama ako na boyfriend ama girlfriend 😂
33
29
196
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Normalize checking your email, you might have received an interview invitation for the job you applied.
35
84
191
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Mlisema ukiinyonga na spirit unakua spiritual, ukinyonga na omo unakua omosexual.
25
60
156
@iamroykip
Roy
4 years
Ugly people are human too...text us!!
24
23
172
@iamroykip
Roy
2 years
Don't stop when her legs shake vigorously, alisema hajawai faint, make history.
19
49
155