Roy @iamroykip Twitter profile

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Nishai enda sleep over kwa dem, after round one nikasema wacha nijiekele kidogo as the 1 minute man I am😄, chali yake akabisha mlango, nikaruka kwa kiti, jamaa kuingia dem akasema "baby usipige kelele utaamsha bro wangu mdogo." Usiku nilikua naskia dem akipigwa vitu naskia kulia

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 months

Every time Zakayo looks between R and Y on his keyboard

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Roy

@iamroykip

9 months

Uhunye was built differently. That man was so humble, down to earth. Nakumbuka Nov 2019 niliingia huko Ngara majioni kusalimia Mathe. Kuingia kwa choche nikasikia nimeitwa kando na jamaa akisema, "oyah bro kuja upate mali safi" . Nikaamua tu nichukue hio borake zishike. Sikuwa na

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

How does your partner ask for sex??

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Mimi hujiangalia kwa kioo then i silently say "hapa bila pesa"...

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Roy

@iamroykip

7 months

Kuna time nimeenda pale archives kungoja cuzo alikua anatoka ocha na hajui Nai vizuri. Ghafla bin vu kuna huyu dem ameniapproach na akanihug and apologised by saying "sorry aki nimekueka sana" still in shock and confused nikamjibu na "isokay no biggy" dem akanishika mkono

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Kama unaitwa Cynthia Ngaruiya tulikuwa na wewe jana Thika kujia documents zako...sifanyi kazi na County nilikuwa mlevi😩

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Roy

@iamroykip

1 year

SLUGGER

@itsslugger_

1 year

Huwa mnafanya nini mkiwa at your lowest

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Mbona madem huwa wanatetemeka after sex?

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Kamba + Kamba=Pornstars Kisii + Meru=Fast and furious Meru + Meru =Wrong turn Kisii + Kamba=The Witcher Kikuyu + Kikuyu=Money Heist Don't spoil the fun keep going 👇

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Roy

@iamroykip

1 year

The first mistake you made was to win this race😅

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Who should cum first between a Man and a Woman??

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Roy

@iamroykip

9 months

Mi nae stori zangu niliamua nitakuwa najiwekea to the last minute. Stori za kuwa overwhelmed hadi naanza kushare my stories hapana. 2019 girlfriend alipata mapacha buana hio time sikuwa na wira ama any source of income. Hadi dooh ya maternity nilikuwa nimekopa Uncle

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Girls be wondering why we prefer FPL over them, they don't know there is free hit😆

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Roy

@iamroykip

25 days

Can the president himself be alive after taking 8 bullets? He is busy talking about the destruction of properties while he hasn't even visited those in hospital following the protests. Hustlers, we are on our own. VERY READY FOR TUESDAY. #RutoMustGo #OccupyChurches

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Having one girlfriend is dangerous....what if she dies??

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Road trip watu huenda miguu?

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Lakini ile 80M walibuy nayo Maguire wangesaidia nayo Arsenal walipe ile fuliza walichukua kununua Pepe

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

When a girl visits and it starts raining, just know that meal🍑🍆has been approved by the heavens 😂

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Hii ndio wahenga walisema "Aliketi Kitako"

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Ladies mbona huwa mnatetemeka miguu after mechi?

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Rip to the souls that we lost in 2021. Don't scroll without commenting heart❤

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Roy

@iamroykip

4 years

Finger your girl everytime she wears a skirt or a short dress, its just common courtesy!

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Use protection you don't know who your partners are sleeping with

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Roy

@iamroykip

11 months

Hide your women😄

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

When your husband is sick and the elders ask you, "Is he still eating?" Thy don't mean food. Have some wisdom!

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Roy

@iamroykip

7 months

Kuna siku nilikuwa naenda Utawala. Nikachukulia mat Jogoo road. a beautiful chocolate chick akakuja akaketi nex to me. Sheesh!! Kama Kawaida nikaanza kutupa lines lzenye hawezi ruka. Nilimwambia anifuate akuje aone side hustle yangu, ati mimi ni wochi,

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Usiwai delete number ya EX. Kuna time kiangazi inaeza kupiga

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

She be sacking D and massaging the Balls at the same time, my soul was almost leaving my body😟

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Hawa madem tunapiganga nao sherehe campo nani atawaoa?

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Siste ukiangalia body count yako huoni ni wakati wakupumzika? Motherboard itaharibika

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Nimemiss kuskia "Si hapo babe"...halafu anakashika anaingiza dambi ya stove mahali inafaa.

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Roy

@iamroykip

4 years

Unapeleka dem round kumi...si utaharibu mother board yake

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Ati ju alinitext good night wa mwisho jana, leo haezi nitext wa kwanza. This gender😂

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

I am frustrated like an armless man watching porn🙁

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Ask a woman what a good man should be like and watch her describe a slave

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Baby i am pregnant... reply as a broke boyfriend??

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Roy

@iamroykip

7 months

@MumbuEu Focus on your life. Not all men are like your dad. Halafu naeza pata number ya mama yako?

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Huyu ananiuliza kama niko na gari, nimemwambia ile kitu niko nayo inaguruma ni tumbo pekee.

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Huyu highschooler ananiuliza kama akam nimpee summary ya ile topic ya METALS before arudi chuo

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

A horny man once said??

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Huyu anakojoa Ribena😄

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

A man with a small fish is not interested with a big pond.

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Roy

@iamroykip

4 years

Flirting is childish,we are grown now; i just want to taste your private parts 🤪

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Naona vitu tight na boobz hazijui gravity zimekuja mid-midterm😋

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Roy

@iamroykip

4 years

Yaaani kabisa kabisa hakuna dem brave enough to text a nigga "I WANT SOME DICK"‼️

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Her: Did you pull out?? Me: You were calling me Daddy and I thought you wanted to have kids

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Lakini kulala kama mmeshikana ni top tier. Ona haurelate ju umezoea kujibaka😂

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Are you scared of death or afraid of the manner in which you are gonna die?

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Kupewa juice,halafu useme utakunywa after umekula, ni kitu ya kufukuzwa kwa wenyewe??

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Imagine getting married at the age of your battery percent...now what's your battery percentage??😂

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Roy

@iamroykip

4 years

Huyu amesema hanipei tena ati namwaga bila kipimo😔

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Sorry i ghosted you. I was depressed and wanted to die but now i am horny...wya? Wyd?

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Siku moja utaambiwa "come base nikuchome" upate wamewasha tire

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Roy

@iamroykip

9 months

Mimi kama uko single siwezi kutaka, mbona wengine hawakutaki. Mimi sio fala

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

@yourchiq @DennaJeal Nitakuja na kitamba wet nikupanguze uso halafu nianze kubargain... Uko sure utafika sungura nne na kuku mbili?

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Men don't embarrass yourselves. If she said that she would come and the time was agreed don't text her,don't call her. If you are worth her time she will definitely come. Remember you are the prize ~End of Tweet~

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Roy

@iamroykip

4 years

Halafu maringo iendanishane na sura tafadhali😂

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Which computer sings the best?? A Dell 😂

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Ladies make sure your Thickness does not extend to your head!

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Roy

@iamroykip

4 years

Maisha imekua ngumu side yangu kwani ni mimi nilichaguliwa nikue funzo kwa wengine😩😩😩

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Wacheni kuongelea valentine's mnatupea pressure buana

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

I am not an English teacher but I can make you produce vowel sounds

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Mimi naye huwa si underperform. Ni huruma tu huwa nawaonea

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

If you Fuck Her You Better Do A Good Job Those Female Group Chats Be Leathaalll?!! 😂

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

The reason I love Kenyan girls is because I have never been outside Kenya😭

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Lakini wanaume hufuata Amerix 98% undergo the things he talks about, Facts!, but they are not ready to accept.

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Gilbeys mnapiga dry dry lakini mala munaweka sukari... ama nishugulike na maini yangu

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

A man has to be financially stable to date a broke woman😂😂

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Nimepatana na dem mkonda amevaa dera anakaa windsock

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Normalize dating within your IQ level to avoid explaining obvious things.

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Living in Kenya should be included in your CV,it’s a skill too💔

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Roy

@iamroykip

7 months

Nikambeba hadi bedroom. Long story short, sikuwaangusha. Katikati ya shuguli dem akimoan akaniita Ben, kwanza alisema "yes Ben. Like Ben, like that!" Ben mahali uko I am very sorry sikupenda kwangu ilikua mistaken Identity. Lakini uko na taste.

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Would you leave your partner for KES 10,000?

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Mimi labda uambie baba yako anieke dp ndio nijue unanipenda😔

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Roy

@iamroykip

9 months

cash akasema nilipe tu Mpesa.Kwenda kutuma nikaona ile mpesa imeleta Uhuru Kenyatta nikashangaa rada!! Kumuangalia nione kaa ni Kamwana nikapata ni yeye kumamaye! Nikapigwa na butwaa kiasi. Kusita sita kiasi ndio hao mapopo ikabidi tujitoe kihuti. Ndio Mimi huyo nyuma yake kihuti

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Roy

@iamroykip

4 years

Manzi/Chali yako ashai come over mkachill tu ama lazima vitu za kukojoa zisalimiane...lazima katambe???

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

The only way to identify a female mosquito is to watch closely the one that flies around your pocket

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Why is it that your nose runs but your feet smells?? 😂

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Roy

@iamroykip

10 months

A hunter who comes home with meat everyday is a thief

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Can we smoke a blunt and make out?

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Roy

@iamroykip

4 years

Nikiwa mdogo nilikua sura mbaya,kuna dem aliambiwa akue bibi yangu akaanza kulia😂🤦🏾‍♂️

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@iamroykip

3 years

Dem mfupi anakushoutia kama ameshika kiuono anakaa kikombe 😂😂

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

No beef just distance,silence and respect ✌

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Slapping your Meat on her Coochie before you slide it in🤪🤤

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Ati wajaluo husema 'samak' na 'serkal' ndio wa preserve 'i' watumie kwa ipod na ipad

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Roy

@iamroykip

7 months

Women getting an attitude because they miss you is a real thing??

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Manchser United Fan: "Manchester united are still Title Contenders." Manchester City fan: "Kama ngavuta bhangi ngavuta fine bhangi wachana na nyaru" 😂😂😂

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@iamroykip

2 years

Roll your feellings in a blunt and smoke that shit away

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Roy

@iamroykip

8 months

Mkujie baraka za mwisho before niwaache🤒

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Suck His Dick Every Morning to thank him for choosing you

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

You are not a Kenyan if you've ever left a message after the tone😂

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@iamroykip

8 months

Shout out to all ladies who hustle with their legs closed

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Roy

@iamroykip

3 years

Siku hizi lazima uulize dem kama ako na boyfriend ama girlfriend 😂

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Normalize checking your email, you might have received an interview invitation for the job you applied.

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Mlisema ukiinyonga na spirit unakua spiritual, ukinyonga na omo unakua omosexual.

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Roy

@iamroykip

4 years

Ugly people are human too...text us!!

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Roy

@iamroykip

2 years

Don't stop when her legs shake vigorously, alisema hajawai faint, make history.

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