Ken M @horseysurprise Twitter profile

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

18

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2K

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

11 years

Artists should be free to spend their days mastering their craft so that working people can toil away in a more beautiful world

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

3 years

new goof

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 months

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

8 years

mountains get big cause they have no natural predators

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

9 years

from the dumpy potato to the succulent french fry, nothing satisfies hunger quite like food

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

our pastor says @realDonaldTrump is Christ-like in that he should die so that others might live ✝️

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

the key to a healthy diet is meals

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

Trump did more in his first 100 days than most presidents got done in 10 hrs

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

10 years

As Springtime approaches, crushing suicidal thoughts give way to more light-hearted and carefree suicidal thoughts

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

a burst of inexplicable laughter can cheer up even the most adjacent of urinal users

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

folks cant Smile and play Harmonica at the same time & that is how the Blues got born

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

mummies

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

11

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

Lebron's shoes

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

colege is a wall mart for your mind

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

5 years

My father was a door to door salesman armed only with a strong set of values and a passion for selling doors to other doors

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

if you think the government runs efficeintly, you've never tried to order a sandwich at the dmv

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

5 years

At prom, I was that painfully awkward guy no girl would dance with because I was just a lowly school janitor

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

imagine how the moon felt when it discovered neil armstrong

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

my father was the kind of man who'd give you the pants off his ass

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

Pope Benedict 💔

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

remember when fridge magnets could hold more than 1 slice of Ham?

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

the gentleman in the adjoining public rest toilet has no regard for the art of conversation

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

When a bully steals your lunch money, the Christlike thing to do is give him your friend's lunch money too. This is the Word of the Lord.

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

DON'T shit on my head and tell me its raining candy bars

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

7

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

Tricking my 2 yr old into thinking I got raptured

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

I mean they’re both great is the problem

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

5 years

@MsMollyRachael a real gentleman would open the airplane door for his wife

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

3 years

never apologize for being sorry

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

what a looser

60 Second Docs

@60SecDocs

7 years

Meet Ken M. ( @horseysurprise ) — the Internet’s most epic troll.

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

i remember when farmers would shove 12 cigars down a rooster's throat and say Congratulations it's a eggs

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

karate combat

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

5 years

a flock of geese is called “a gaggle” whereas a murder of crows is called “a violation of the Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918”

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

5 years

I wasted my high school years in an arrogant pursuit of glory on the football field, and I have nothing to show for it but a moldy band uniform and a rotting clarinet

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

@ScottPresler honestly impressed by how each of your dumb points is infinitely dumber than the preceding point

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

why do retirement homes have 8 electrical outlets when hot dogs come in packs of 10?

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

Our child turned 4 months old today, and while beauty and intelligence are not among her gifts she is VERY strong

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

5 years

real new yorkers FOLD their burgers

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

16

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 months

17

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

13

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954

Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

Pianos should only have one big long key because limitations unlock the creative mind

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

light is faster than sound but sound is louder than light so they both deserve a trophy

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

when the pizza delivery guy knocks on your door, why not shriek "UH SOMEBODY'S IN HERE!" so he thinks your apartment is a bathroom?

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

17

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

warm new goof

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

Dogs are perfect because they're primitive enough to be capable of unconditional love yet civilized enough to shit in the Great Outdoors instead of some vulgar toilet bowl

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

new Goof

15

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

7

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

11

55

894

Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

the first sandwich was just a plain old bread and cheese molecule

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

politicians are so full of baloney im suprised folks dont bring bread and ketchup to the voting booth

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

7

154

859

Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

16

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875

Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

@elonmusk How’d you manage to spell moron wrong twice in one tweet

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

16

34

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

10

90

840

Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

you can tell where someone’s from based on whether they refer to their dad as “Pop” or “a Coke”

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

when i was growing up a space trip to Mars was a far away dream but now it is a distant reality

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 months

6

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

you'd be suprised at how many people dont know anything about knowlege

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

3 years

Easily the greatest holiday gift I’ll ever receive, many thanks to my mother in law and @neilhimself

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

5 years

the best part of Cinderella is when she turns back into a pumpkin on her wedding night and it only makes Prince Charming love her more

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

Tried my hand at pastels tonight and my kid came out looking like she’s selling rancid apples in London

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

21

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

Quit your job, convert your lawn into a grass garden and live and eat like the carefree cows

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

19

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

1 year

Classic April fools prank: tricking my kid into thinking I got raptured

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

4

34

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

new goof

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

5 years

A reminder that “smile” backwards is “slime”. Let’s all try to smile instaed of slimeing someone

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

senater could win florda

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

6

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

if you have to ask it means your just seeking the answer

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

Mars rover searches for ancient lives

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

5 years

you know you’re getting old when you’re the only guy at the nightclub who brought a leaf blower

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

5 years

shaved off my beard becuase i thought it was giving my grandson a rash but it was just a diaper rash

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

6

36

750

Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

when the pizza delivery guy knocks on your door, why not shriek "UH SOMEBODY'S IN HERE!" so he thinks your apartment is a bathroom

13

51

758

Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

time to fix our OWN global warming instead of being the global warming police of the world

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732

Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

5

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

New goof with apologies

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

5

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

Are snakes eels or snakes everybody debates that part

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

5 years

looks like # is trending again

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

poll : do you microwave your hot dog buns or boil them on the stove

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

a babysitter is no substitute for a wholesome iron cage

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

7

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

13

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

10

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

2 years

@Gabriele_Corno Magpies mostly eat potato’s he probly just thought it was a potato

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

6 years

just trying to prevent Revolutionary War II

Andrew is Online™

@AndrewM138

6 years

The only real patriot is @horseysurprise

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

7 years

7

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

Batch 22!

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Ken M

@horseysurprise

4 years

11

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