Are you frustrated because you don't have good rebuttals to anti-trans rhetoric?
Are you always like DAMN, I should have said *this!*
NEVER FEAR!!
My "Annotated Bibliography of Point-by-Point Rebuttals of Anti-Transgender Disinformation" is here!!
I really love "back on my bullshit" because it implies:
1) you have bullshit to be on (proud of you for that);
2) you took a little break (for self-care, maybe?); and
3) now you're back, refreshed, and on your bullshit.
A donut shop was molotov-cocktailed for holding a drag event.
A DONUT SHOP was MOLOTOV-COCKTAILED for holding a DRAG EVENT.
A DONUT SHOP WAS MOLOTOV-COCKTAILED FOR HOLDING A DRAG EVENT.
Are you paralyzed about what to do RIGHT NOW to support trans kids in Texas??
LIVE THREAD OF WHERE TO DONATE THAT AREN'T MAINSTREAM ORGS THAT ARE GONNA GET HUGE DONATION BUMPS RIGHT NOW.
(Please please reply or dm me with additions and recommendations)
Your yearly reminder that most things worth doing are worth doing poorly.
Fuck perfection.
Art? Do it poorly.
School work? Do half rather than not doing it at all.
Calling a friend? Text them if you're afraid to call rather than not talking to them at all.
HEY PRO TIP
As your kiddo is growing, and trying on clothes for the holidays, and the clothes don't fit FOR WHATEVER REASON AT ALL . . .
BLAME THE CLOTHES NOT THE KID
I was at an LGBT legal conference this week and got to witness *multiple* folks realize that they're bisexual, nonbinary, trans, etc.
It was tender and moving and shocking and a little sad.
For followers who aren't "in the culture":
JK Rowling came out on Twitter today as an unrepentant anti-trans feminist.
But what was it in response to??
THIS AMAZING OPINION BY A JUDGE IN THE UK FINDING THAT "GENDER CRITICAL" RHETORIC ISN'T PROTECTED "PHILOSOPHICAL THOUGHT"!!
Reminder to myself and anyone else who needs it right now:
It is 💯% ok to be physically comfortable.
That’s a thing you can be.
Take your meds. Wear the right pjs. Turn on the fan. Don’t be a fucking martyr for no reason.
Comfort should not be a luxury.
Hey non-LGBT people, it's going to be BAAADDDD next week for us queers.
The Supreme Court is hearing 3 cases that will decide our ability to be safe at work, to work as ourselves, and even to work at all.
I just saw someone tell cis people not to use gender neutral bathrooms because they're for nonbinary people and, as a nonbinary person, I'd like like to VOCIFEROUSLY DISAGREE!!!!
EVERYONE PLEASE USE THE GENDER NEUTRAL RESTROOMS!!!!!!!
Trans rights are NOT “coming at the cost of women’s rights.”
Health care, fair pay, nondiscrimination, violence, repro care, parental leave are important issues for LOTS of folks incl cis and trans women.
Human rights is not a zero sum game. Human rights is not a zero sum game.
(I have chronic pain)
I'll be talking to someone and they'll say something like "Big deal, my back hurts all the time and sometimes I can't get out of bed because of it" and I'll have to be like oh honey, that's not the norm for human bodies. You have chronic pain, too.
Well I guess it’s white bisexuals call out other white bisexuals time:
Jason Mraz, you 100% can’t call yourself two-spirit. The only folks who can use that label are two-spirit people indigenous to the Americas.
That’s it.
Learn. A. Thing.
Be. A. Good. Queer.
Helen Joyce advocated for reducing the number of trans people. Helen Staniland nodded along.
Helen Joyce said that trans people even existing "threatens a sane world." Helen Staniland nodded along
We *must* publicize this. We *must* share their goals. Don't let them hide.
It is so easy and SO DEVASTATING to say "oop! Getting a little tummy!" or "someone's had a bit too many coookies!!"
That shit is fucked up.
Don't give that shit to your kid now (or really any fucking time)
TERFs and transohobes are out in force today (and as of this tweet it's only 8am on the east coast).
Before you get seduced into debating justice for trans people on their (the TERFs') terms, let me remind us all that their terms are fundamentally wrong.
A donut shop was molotov-cocktailed for holding a drag event.
Listen. It's not about the drag.
I mean, it is about the drag.
But it's about the *getting away with it*.
And they're getting away with it.
Someone Very Online said that trans people are losing the battle against TERFs.
FIRST OF FUCKING ALL we're not just battling the TERFs. That's a little disingenuous. We're battling the Christian Right and their billionaires like the Wilkes Brothers and the DeVos family.
What is more important? Seriously. WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT?????
1) Your kid.
2) Pieces of cloth.
Praise the thing that's more important. Criticize the thing that won't take it personally.
- Oh my gosh grandma hasn't seen you in 6 months! She had no idea how much you've grown!
- Ooh! These are way too constricting!! We absolutely don't wear uncomfortable clothes in this house. Our bodies are *way* too important.
Here are some scripts you can say instead:
- Ugh! Clothes are made so unevenly!! I thought these were the right size, but this brand is so weird. Do you want me to get the right size of these? Or something else??
Bisexual. People. Exist.
I’m dating a white cis dude and I use partner 1) because we’re not married and he sure as SHIT is not my “boyfriend” of 11 years with whom I coparent our child and 2) to signal my queerness in a world that constantly constantly erases me.
HEY BY THE WAY HERE'S A NEXT LEVEL TIP
Don't want your kid to feel bad about their body?
YOU HAVE TO MODEL RADICAL ACCEPTANCE OF YOUR OWN BODY!!!!!!
Tell your tum how perfect it is for carrying your organs.
Praise your thighs.
Wear clothes that feel and look really nice.
When I say "our bodies are way too important," I mean it quite literally.
Our bodies carry our fucking BLOOD and our BRAINS and our ORGANS!!!!!
And you're going to tell your 10 year old to stuff theirself into jeans that put marks in their skin . . . why???
Good afternoon there are no "real" women, sex and gender are both constructs, and the patriarchy is our actual enemy.
In this TED talk I will-
JK no I will really will.
I'm going to right now.
If you're feeling helpless right now, here are things you can do:
👍 Tell someone how awesome trans and nonbinary people are, and drag performers! Write about it online!
👉 Donate to your local drag events!
🤌 Make out with your trans friends, consensually.
4⃣ Don't. Find. Middle. Ground.
HEY GUESS WHAT THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND BETWEEN "I'd like a job" and "you don't deserve a job because you're queer."
There are no exemptions for queerness. Your religion cannot dictate my livelihood and survival.
I'm not gonna share too many details here so I don't identify anyone, but:
Someone came to the BiLaw Caucus and in the initial round of intros, took a deep breath and said "first time I'm saying it, but . . . I AM BISEXUAL" and when I tell you the room of erupted in cheers.
Omg I have MORE TIPS
- Buying clothes for someone else's kid? ASK WHAT SIZES
- On your own journey towards body acceptance? DON'T BODY HATE YOURSELF IN FRONT OF CHILDREN
- Can't find cute / stylish clothes in fat sizes? THAT'S CAPITALISM'S FAULT, NOT THE FAULT OF HUMAN BODIES
So you don't need to go back to the store?
So you can say your kid is a specific size?
So you can relive your own food trauma?
So they learn that you have to "earn" food?
No
No
No
No
Omfg y’all must be back on YOUR bullshit because this blew up!
And for once I DO have something to promote.
It’s called not being transphobic or islamophobic. You’re gonna love it.
Ok, muting this thread g’bye!!!
It's not *admirable* to suffer through pain.
I should say: suffering as worthiness is a characteristic common to colonizing, imperial, white Christian (Protestant) evangelizers who use religion to justify treating others poorly in the name of salvation in the afterlife.
Nah.
Person with chronic pain: *pours a cup of tea*
Stranger, bursting into the room: HAVE YOU TRIED ACCUPRESSURE IT REALLY WORKER FOR MY MOM WHEN SHE HAD PNEUMONIA!!!!
Every year at this caucus--a group of bisexual, pansexual, queer, and other attorneys who are capable of attraction to more than one gender-- there are more than a handful of folks who say it's their first time hanging out with ANY bisexual people, much less a room of bi lawyers.
WHEN YOU DISMANTLE QUEER COMMUNITY, YOU HARM QUEER PEOPLE.
When the Christian Right forbids children from talking about queerness, when they threaten to take trans kids away from their parents, when they attack story hours and Pride and queer orgs and queer people . . .
I'm really really serious about this one.
When the Left is half-hearted, the Right can sense it.
So you better be full-hearted with your demand for a multi-racial queer feminist democracy, or we're going to keep sliding into authoritarianism.
Are you the parent of a trans or nonbinary kid? Did you reach out to a "gender exploratory" therapist only to realize (maybe too late) that they were a conversion therapist?
I WANT TO TALK!!
DMs ARE OPEN
This is a long shot, but absolutely crucial right now, so please RT.
Aside from all the bullshit and nonsense we'll be hearing from the Right, like, we kind of don't want to hear any of it?
Why the fuck should we hear people debate whether we DESERVE to work?? Capitalism is all so messed up in the first place.
We need all of us here doing poorly for as long as possible, not striving for perfection and flaming out.
Don't. Flame. Out.
Suck at everything.
Be a role model of doing things half-assed.
Again and again as we went around the circle: I'm the only person out at work; I'm the only bisexual person I know; I'm so lonely; this is so powerful.
Why not to police:
1. Let's just . . . not join the crowd of those who think they can decide who should pee where and why. Like. Ever.
2. It is IMPOSSIBLE to tell if someone is cis, trans, and/or nonbinary. Are we getting on the gender-checking train? No, we're not.
Individual choices make SO LITTLE IMPACT on things like climate change.
And capitalism LIES by telling us we have easy more choices than we do, and that our choices are tied to our worth.
FUCK THAT SHIT.
Literally do everything badly.
I train folks on how to respond to anti-trans gender critical / TERF rhetoric and among the first steps you have to take are: 1) deciding if the person is in good faith and 2) figuring out if the relationship is worth keeping.
And online? The answer to both is usually a big NO.
I think 2 folks came out in that BiLaw caucus.
When you make community and you make it safe, people are able to be vulnerable and self-reflective.
I am so humbled to be part of that.
The rage that filled my body when I read this.
Let me tell you.
It was fiery.
And folks are making noise about trans athletes still? Oh shut the fuck up and focus your rage, with mine, at our actual target: the patriarchy.
A breakaway female cyclist was forced to stop during a prestigious race in Belgium after she started to catch up with the men's competition, which had started 10 minutes earlier.
CN: anti-trans rhetoric
There's an anti-trans book coming out tomorrow called Irreversible Damage.
It's by Abigail Shrier.
The book is going to do a lot of harm to trans kids.
So let's talk about Shrier and what credentials she has to write about trans-affirming care.
Doing things poorly is CRUCIAL to harm reduction.
Need to smoke pot to reduce your alcohol use? Awesome.
Need to shop at Amazon even though it's a nightmare land cause if you don't, you'll be spending way too much money? Cool.
Need to throw away that recyclable can? DO IT
You know what fucking sucks??
Imagining how much better a parent I would have been if not for the pandemic and the US's frankly genocidal response to it.
Instead of invested, I'm exhausted.
Instead of supported, I'm isolated.
Instead of informed, I'm confused.
BUT NO, I'M NOT GOING TO BE DEFEATIST!!!
Seriously, go consensually make out with a trans person today. At a donut shop.
Tell your nosy neighbor how good it was to feel your lover's body in your arms amid the sweet, yeasty aroma of the bakery.
Parenting? Literally just be there, even if you're half-asleep and on your phone.
Eating? Go to McDonalds rather than waiting for something perfect.
Cleaning yourself? Wash your pits right now instead of feeling guilty about not taking a full shower.
I don't even know what to say.
I'm not talking to anyone who doesn't know these facts.
And those who don't believe in anti-trans oppression and violence certainly aren't going to change their minds over one thread.
Yesterday, we held the Trans Law Institute, full of students and lawyers and judges and professors all vested in information sharing and trust building and strategy refinement and and and
And someone came out as nonbinary. And it was *us* they told!! Us!! Their community!
3⃣ Stand between us and those who are seeking to dehumanize, erase, and harm us.
Next week, maybe take a turn be vigilant online. (Did you know that we're always vigilant and it's exhausting?)
Block people for us. Report people. Delete comments on FB that suck. Protect us.
Ok non-queer people, this is an important one: no cookies.
I seriously don't have the energy to worry about myself, my friends, my family, AND your ego.
True accomplice-ship and ally-ship don't need constant encouragement / rewards.
Gender-neutral bathrooms are for: folks with mobility devices, people medical necessities like stoma bags, people who rely on other people to help them use the bathroom, kids who go with their parents of all genders, etc.
You have NO IDEA WHO IS USING THE BATHROOM AND WHAT FOR.
Like I said, many of these folks had never been in queer community, and one person HAD NEVER MET A TRANS PERSON UNTIL THE CONFERENCE.
Being with us gave them the comfort, safety, bravery, and boldness to take another step on their gender / sexuality journey.
Later last night, we were all chilling in the pool (WHICH WAS HEATED AND SALT WATER!!) and one attorney came out as nonbinary and another as a trans guy.
So don't be a half-assed "both sides"-er.
There is only one side here: under capitalism, are you permitted to work to survive. And the answer is: you MUST.
We were buoyed by the salt water and the vibes. And the champagne.
But I think it was the vibes that had us cheering and crying and hugging people whom we didn't even know three days earlier.
If you need to know what she's tweeting, which, why?, put her on a list. You can even put her in a private list of one! Just don't. fucking. follow her.
Don't hate-follow anyone! Put 'em all in lists! I'll show you how!
But right now: unfollow JK Rowling instantly.
BECAUSE EVERY PLACE TO PUT YOUR PEE, POOP, MENSTRUAL BLOOD, STOMA STUFF, SURGERY DRAINS, ETC SHOULD BE AVAILABLE TO EVERYONE!!!!!
EVERY.
RESTROOM.
SHOULD.
BE.
FOR.
EVERYONE.
Anything otherwise is absolute nonsense.
2⃣ Give us things!!
Not being facetious here.
Things are fucking great.
Give us money. Check to see if your friend or mutual or follow has a paypal or or cashapp or venmo.
Give us things. A card? A house? You know.
Give us food. Queers. Love. Food.
I monitor / research / write about anti-trans feminists in the US and I'm wrapping up that work (at least the frequent writing).
I'm here to tell you why.
SPOILER ALERT: because the connections between anti-trans feminists and the Christian Right are now broadly understood.
Why else not to police who uses gender neutral bathrooms:
3. Gender-neutral restrooms aren't for . . . gender-neutral people. Like, at all. We, the nonbinary, are accidental benefactors.
Did you know that trans kids are overrepresented among kids a) in foster care, b) experiencing homelessness, and c) in places of incarceration?
IS IT BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH SUPPORT FOR TRANSITION IN THOSE ENVIRONMENTS????
Ahahahahaahahahahahahahhahhahhhaha
No.
We. Don’t. Have. Access. To. Health. Care. Without. Jobs.
Yes, our union presence is weaker than in other countries. But fundamentally, workers in the US are held captive by deep capitalism that makes us reliant on jobs for our health.
thinking this morning about the incredible docility of the american workforce. can’t imagine 46,000 french civil servants showing up to work unpaid. there’d be strikes, riots, and guillotine installations at roundabouts. are you kidding me
Well, I broke.
I fucking broke.
I started crying in the shower and then just stood in the bathroom with my face buried in my towel just sobbing.
I'm
How
How can we keep DOING THIS??????
Every. Single. Toilet. Should be accessible and safe.
Restaurant with two restrooms: MAKE THEM BOTH GENDER NEUTRAL!!!!
Large building with a ton of restrooms: MAKE THEM ALL LOCKING CUBICLES WITH TOILETS!!!!!
To underscore, Bazelon paints a picture of a passionate community supporting trans kids. All just working together to make sure kids get supported any way they can.
THAT IS NOT WHAT IS HAPPENING.
Orgs like Genspect do not want ANY KIDS to transition.
Caster Semenya is the latest victim of a patriarchal system which weaponized misogyny and anti-blackness to tell her that she had to CHANGE HER ACTUAL BODY in order to be a woman.
That is not an exaggeration.
Bazelon had an incredible opportunity here to describe how hard it is for (the vast majority of) trans kids to access care, for a multitude of reasons including poor health care coverage in the US, but instead she chose to listen to people who want to END transition.
My grandfather was a methodist minister. He taught his kids that suffering was a *good* sign, an indication that you weren't taking more than your fair share.
My grandfather grew up during the great depression, when scarcity was real. Someone with meant someone without.