ham @hammaggot Twitter profile

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ham

@hammaggot

6 years

2019 is the year i'm officially dedicating my life to earl sweatshirt!! @earlxsweat watch out ✌🏼

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ham

@hammaggot

2 years

@DrCrazymoment same expression

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

@50FirstTates insurance gonna defeat you before you get even close to the finals boss level

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

msu and mich canceled everything till mid april and cmu said let’s give it a week and see if it the virus goes away by then

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

@AlaBherga have u asked if the son has bad vibes??? i mean you just don’t know

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

@iangrveme @MediumWilly well it is taco bell. not exactly gourmet eating

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

@JacobMossell @birdsarentreal a sacrifice i’m willing to make for the administration of justice 🇺🇸🇺🇸

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ham

@hammaggot

3 years

big things be happening

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

not to make y’all too jealous but i kissed cvs boy tonight follow your dreams 🥰🥰

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ham

@hammaggot

6 years

yea sex is alright but have u ever found that one song you’re searching for off of half a lyric and semi foggy recollection of what it actually sounded like

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

ok big news finally! i am going to grad school !!!!! failure can’t touch me todayyyyy

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

i did it 😚😚

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ham

@hammaggot

1 year

east - earl sweatshirt

Pigeons & Planes

@PigsAndPlans

1 year

You just woke up from a coma, what's the first song that you want to hear?

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

‘17 ‘18 ‘18 ‘19 (18 was a biggie year )

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ham

@hammaggot

6 years

just took a physics exam and definitely failed. on the way out looked over and saw this guy cheating off his buddy BUT THEY HAD DIDFERNT FORMS OF THE EXAM RIP

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ham

@hammaggot

8 years

denim and diamonds for prom theme 2017

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

sooo i went to cvs AND HE REMEMBERED ME AND ASKED ME ABOUT MY SUMMER AND MY MAJOR AND MY CLASSES AND WE HAD A FULL CONVERSATION WHILE PEOPLE WAITED BEHIND ME and then he said he loves my hair 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🥰😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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ham

@hammaggot

8 years

my b

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

from now on when i park im taking my license plate wit me try to charge me now hoes

CM Life

@CMLIFE

4 years

With this increase, a meter parking violation is now $15 and parking in the wrong lot, parking with no pass or parking in a restricted area is now $30. Parking meter prices also went up 25 cents per hour and there was an increase of late fees by $10.

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

hey high schoolers make sure when u pick a university to spend 4+ years of your life you choose one that doesn’t smell like absolute cow ass every time it rains.

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

y’all never heard of 31 flavors? also fuck cops

Midwest People's History

@MPHProject

5 years

Huge if true

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

cvs boy wants to see my twitter so i might have to delete all my cvs tweets so i don’t seem like a crazy person

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

sorry CJ if u went to saline high school you’re not from ann arbor. i don’t make the rules i just know how a map works

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ham

@hammaggot

3 years

lot to take in here all at once

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ham

@hammaggot

7 years

u gotta admit popsicle boy and the red dress girl do look really good. like they match and stunt

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

every time i have an exam i put on my dumb bitch pants and my dumb bitch shoes and dumb bitch shirt and my dumb bitch glasses and do what a dumb bitch do

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ham

@hammaggot

6 years

lately i’ve been busy and i haven’t been scheduling time to cry in the shower But today... Today I Made Time !! 💛🥰😚😚🤙🏼🤙🏼

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

little caesars hot and ready and crazy bread

Koffin Lanighost

@TVsKevinLanigan

4 years

You can technically be sworn into the presidency on anything. Doesn't have to be a Bible. What would you be sworn in on?

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

me pulling up to work ready to shit my pants bc i only poop on paid company time from now on 😎😎

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

well

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

here’s a dumb picture of me with Plank that i found in an icelandic bar 🥰🥰🥰

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

@iangrveme @MediumWilly chalopie carvings doesnt even sound good why

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

Lmaoo oh boy my mom found a pig up for adoption at a local animal shelter and tomorrow she’s going to bring her home we own a pig a pet pig

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

literally block me if you think this is the best thing on the internet

Courtney 🤘🏼☀️

@coco_lewis15

4 years

By far the best thing I’ve seen on the internet 😂

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ham

@hammaggot

3 years

my roommate just posted this so i’m smothering her in her sleep hehe just roomie things

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ham

@hammaggot

3 years

how they make 2 angry bird movies and no webkinz movie

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

being this dumb is a sickness 🤒🤕😷😷achoo

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

me vs animated me (part 1)

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

was taking selfies in the car and my eye bags? eye bruises? are the exact same shade of purple as the flannel i was wearing and that’s called ✨fashion✨ babey gorl

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

when my mom went to Hawaii she got me this shirt and I don’t know what it originally was meant to stand for but what the fuck

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

april 5 2020 we officially ran out of ketchup in quarantine. since it was an emergency i dug into the reserves and pulled this lil gem out 😊😊😊😊

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ham

@hammaggot

6 years

idk if it’s too soon but when those laptops were stolen and the school told the parents what shoes they were wearing and i got home and my mom legit asked me if i had done it bc i owned the same shoes. i distinctly remember her saying” its ok to tell me if u did, i wont be mad”

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ham

@hammaggot

8 years

2017 is the year i'm officially dedicating my life to James Franco !! watch out ✌🏼

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

merry christmas i got coal 🤪🤪😝😝😛😋😋🥳🥳😛😋😜😎

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

was just texting a cute boy and i say yo a lot and hi a lot and somehow i misspelled and it autocorrected to “ahoy” shiver me timbers ! this sailor is an idiot

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

for me 🥰🥰

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

@LostEffects large 🥺🥺

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

i want rihanna to wear it tho

maxwell

@artgate2

4 years

Medusa mask

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

happy halloween babes

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

did YA’ll realize the damage was caused by the Once-ler and his huge Thneed corporation bc that was a major plot point !! seuss literally wrote the book on INDUSTRIAL environmental issues jeez

irali

@iralimc

5 years

did y’all not pay attention to this movie ??

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ham

@hammaggot

2 years

is this a good pic be honest

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ham

@hammaggot

3 years

somehow we started talking about police brutality and race in geology and these people are definitely, DEFinitely cop sympathizers I'm about to drop their grades by 2 letters

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ham

@hammaggot

1 year

i will now perform the wreck of the edmund fitzgerald

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

another day another trip with my rock cart

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

should i attach a jpeg of me crying when i email my prof for an extension

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

Lmaooo do u remember when kanye kim and fam dressed up as the flint stones and instead of being fred kanye was a dinosaur i think about it daily

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

what should i wear to my first day of online school??? i’m so excited i can barely sleep 🤪🤪🥳🥳🤪🤪😎😎😙🤪😗

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

this happened to me! and my mom thought someone was burning me with cigarettes 🤪🤪

andrew chibz

@AndrewChibz

5 years

It all makes sense now

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

lmaoo if u forget your mask one day no worries YOU CAN BUY ONE FROM A VENDING MACHINE LOCATED AROUND CMU’s Campus wtf

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

cmu fr thinks i’m a professor at this university im on the faculty backboard email list and can somehow submit grades as an instructor ???????? rn trying to figure out if i can give myself a raise

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ham

@hammaggot

6 years

can the internet virus people stop sending me these. i have like 4 friends, i only use twitter and i don’t even go by maggie anymore. stop trying to bring that girl back up idek her honestly!

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

lmaoo so my mom bought me one of those dinky shark tooths bc were in florida and i put it on my current necklace chain so i wouldn’t lose it This morning i woke up with it STUCK in my neck bc i guess i had moved weird in my sleep and it fucking stabbed me 👍🏼👍🏼😍😍☺️☺️😊😊😊

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ham

@hammaggot

6 years

cant wait till it gets colder so I can really start dressin

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

everyone shut up and wish me luck on my job interview today !!

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

i have to have a zoom meeting for my job next week like log on to zoom for my shift ????? i’m lifeguarding ~virtually~ so v i r t u a l l y i can save you from drowning

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

what a day. tried to go to taco bell but my car broke down in the drive thru bc its shit and all the people started honking bc i was blocking the talking thing so i had to push it out of the way and sit on the curb near the dumpster and wait for help and i never even got taco bel

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ham

@hammaggot

6 years

in hs my crush asked me where i got my shoes and then the next day he showed up in almost the exact same pair and that’s the closest i’ve ever felt to “emotional intimacy “.

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

i’m bout to key the fuck out of this teacher’s car tomorrow 🥸🥸

Mari Copeny

@LittleMissFlint

4 years

Everyone meet Jurnee, she is a 7-year-old frost grade student from Ganiard Elementary in Mt. Pleasant, MI. She went to school and her teacher decided to cut her hair to the scalp. Our hair is our crown and that teacher stole Jurnee’s crown. The teacher still has a job.

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

i once was with a guy who flung my glasses across in the room like “romantically” but he broke them and i didn’t want to make it a thing so i just put them in my pocket and went blind and when he asked why i told them they were fake glasses 😜😜(crying)🤪🤪✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼

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ham

@hammaggot

3 years

i ordered this super cute necklace and you’re supposed to engrave it with something but i couldn’t think of anything so i chose ham because my brain is a melted m&m and the company called me and said are you fr ?? but anyway it came today and i’m obsessed

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

so i need a watch for work and study abroad and camp and life but i don’t have money for a fancy apple watch soooooo

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

last night i dyed my eyebrows purple and blue and tonight i think i might cut my hair again *literally terrified of my energy rn* 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼😊😊😊😌😌☺️☺️😚😌

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ham

@hammaggot

6 years

i just learned about this shark!! it’s the greenland sleeper shark and their average lifetime is about 200-400yrs. they also get parasites in their eyes so almost all of them are blind! 🤓🤓

Charles Finch

@CharlesFinch

6 years

Based on samples taken from the lens of its eye this year, this shark was alive in 1672.

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

covid vaccine dose 1 made me shit @my pants at walgreens

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ham

@hammaggot

3 years

just saw a pro life billboard that said babies smile 12 weeks after conception bruhhh i haven’t smiled 22 yrs after conception

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

how you star in hunger games and still be republican

Page Six

@PageSix

4 years

Jennifer Lawrence used to be 'a little Republican,' voted for John McCain

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

rock cart day!!

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

wow twitter really saw the life and death of my relationship with cvs boy 😌😌😘😘 ur welcome for serving Content

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ham

@hammaggot

6 years

i know i go to cmu and not uofm bc there’s like 8 canada goose jackets on this entire campus and 6 of them belong to foreign exchange students and the other 2 are passed around greek life like a sisterhood of the traveling pants remake

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ham

@hammaggot

3 years

cmu telling us there’s a potential murderer walking around campus and to be aware and that’s it like ??? u want me to catch him? y’all busy with another criminal ? ma’am?

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ham

@hammaggot

3 years

wait i’m in his car 🤭🤭🤭🤪

ham

@hammaggot

3 years

lmao tinder match who i blocked is sitting across the bar from me and messaging me about meeting up make it stopppo

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

omg it’s hereeee😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

this guy in my online class posted on the discussion board how he hates target bc of how it’s layed out and the colors “... store more geared for women. i mean that in the most sincere way” ??? this man is emasculated by a store

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

i can’t even be on tinder in peace because guys recognize me from twitter 🤡🤡 can’t have nothing 😤😤

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

i fucking hate celebrities

New York Post

@nypost

4 years

Kourtney Kardashian spreads COVID mask conspiracy on Instagram

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818

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ham

@hammaggot

1 year

i told my dad i went fishing this man is 55

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

my snapchat wrapped was almost all pics of me crying in bed and plotting on boys i hate

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ham

@hammaggot

5 years

would you umm.. uh be sad if i got coronavirus??

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ham

@hammaggot

2 years

✨on tonight’s episode of deadliest catch ✨

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ham

@hammaggot

4 years

i’m awake and can’t sleep so i wondered if i could do a handstand which i cannot but i tried anyway and my foot knocked a tape dispenser off my shelf and it got me in the face and now i have a bloody nose and there’s blood on my carpet and i’m wondering if my nose is broken