Crowbar Jones 🐻 @gomichild Twitter profile

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

11 months

It's finally available. My first cook book - The Culinary Canon V1:E1 Foundation Knowledge.

The Culinary Canon : Foundation Knowledge

About the cook book The Culinary Canon: Foundation Knowledge

culinarycanon.com

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

6 months

Ah I see it's time for the Americans - who have mass shootings daily - to tell us Australians that we should have access to guns and repeal our strict gun laws, since we had a tragic incident involving a man with a knife. Kindly go fuck yourselves.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

2 months

Australia’s terrorism threat level raised from yeah nah to nah yeah.

6 News Australia

@6NewsAU

2 months

#BREAKING 🚨 Australia's terrorism threat level raised from "possible" to "PROBABLE"

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

6 months

I'm in a blocking mood - there's no argument worth having about this. You are wrong. We like not having guns. We don't need to rise up against the govt - we vote them out. Our kids can go to school and all they have to worry about is that their sandwiches don't get soggy.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

11 months

Happy Anniversary to this tweet.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

20 days

They’re from Adelaide.

manic pixie doomguy 🇵🇸

@MildCuthbert

20 days

Every now and then you meet an Australian guy who talks with a sort of British but not quite accent and there's literally no real explanation for it other than they're a bit weird.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

6 months

We see you over there. We feel sorry for you. You really need to sort your own shit out. We are working on dealing with ours. In our free, democratic way.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

4 months

He doesn’t have his own name? Sisters aren’t responsible for their adult brothers or their actions.

The Daily Telegraph

@dailytelegraph

4 months

A former AFL champion and the brother of Matildas captain Sam Kerr inflicted “terrifying” acts of violence against his former partner, including cutting her bed in half with a chainsaw, a court has been told. MORE 👉

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

7 months

“So Nanna tell us about when Australia became a Republic.” “Well one of our Greatest Heroes Sam Kerr was charged for calling a stupid white bastard a “stupid white bastard” & we all just went well fuck it - we’re done.” #IConKerr

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

7 months

Compare the Pair Barnaby Joyce - drunk, belligerent, inert - gets a “mental health break”, still MP, no other consequences Sam Kerr - states the obvious, charged, captaincy thrown into question

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

6 months

We don't need guns. We have bollards. @WorldBollard

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 years

JFC RELEASE ALL THE REFUGEES AND LET THEM GET ON WITH THEIR LIVES YOU CRUEL FUCKING BASTARDS

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

4 years

Caulfield South is a small suburb in the south east of Melbourne. Our state electorate is Caulfield. Our state MP is David Southwick (Liberal). David (or his social media team) creates fake accounts on Facebook to post his propaganda.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

9 months

Stop mocking Scott Morrison - the poor man had to write 5-6 resignation letters last night.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 years

I don’t fucking believe this but the tradie just knocked on my door to tell me that he’s installed the replacement oven - in the wrong house down the street. I literally have no words at this point.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 month

WHEN WILL THE AUSTRALIAN GOVERNMENT BAN TEENAGERS FROM LEAVING WET TOWELS ON THE FLOOR???

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

2 years

I’m done with the Vegemite shaming. Scrape it or trowel it on - the real enemy are people who prefer Marmite.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

2 months

Content Warning: Death, Grief The last time I saw my Mum in person, February 2004. On the Glenelg foreshore where her father proposed to her mother. She was 53, I was 32. That week was the last time I would see either of my parents again.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 months

Congrats UK! Now the next trick is to try and prevent your Labour Party from turning into Tories. Trust us. Love Australia

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

9 months

My friend Emma just wrote this thoughtful response to an ad in which a family on a 2 acre property, 3 bedroom house with pool were offering a rent-free granny flat in exchange for at least 4 hours maintenance work 6 days a week.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

As a single parent I've been forced to deal with Services Australia for a few years in all it's various demonic manifestations, but it took until today to finally break me.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 years

What’s the next level up from clusterfuck?

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 months

Olympic Shooters as Australian Cities 🧵 Melbourne

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

8 months

We need every Australian in the UK to don "Stupid White Bastard" t-shirts immediately.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 months

Who is the Australian Special Envoy for anti-Asian racism? Asking for my kid.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

Hurts less if you watch Sam Kerr’s goal on repeat.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

2 years

The Teen has decided this morning that he can’t live under the cruel dictatorship of this house and is leaving. I said “OK. Bye.”

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

7 months

WE NEED A "STOP FUCKING KILLING WOMEN" DAY.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

6 months

@RConnR We know it's only a (loud) percent of you x

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

Well I think we can safely say that my second appointment with the Job “Service Provider” did not go well. First Mr Happy at reception asked me some personal questions in the waiting area that I was reluctant to answer, given that I was surrounded by strangers.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

6 months

@belindasmilne Exactly.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

10 months

Charity is a failure of government.

Anthony Albanese

@AlboMP

10 months

Christmas is a time of giving. I had the pleasure of joining @billcrewsfdn and Premier @ChrisMinnsMP today to serve a delicious lunch for those in need at the Exodus Foundation. Merry Christmas, Australia.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

6 months

🔥🔥🔥

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 month

Labor government announcing shortly all kids must drink water from garden hoses, ride their bikes around the streets until the streetlights come on.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 years

Holy shit did you know that Dan Andrews has a Weather Control Machine now??? Where do his powers end???

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

10 months

This is how marshmallows are grown and harvested.

Brett Carter

@brettcarter62

10 months

View from my bike ride this morning #pinkhay #cycling #tasmania

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

6 months

@MissBess5 I get chills even considering that.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

4 years

@SouthwickMP You have acted disgracefully in this manner and should be ashamed. I allowed you to be a part of a community and you contributed nothing, but tried to deceive your constituents. Disgraceful.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

I think we’d all be better off not listening to anything Jeff Kennett has to say. About anything.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 month

I didn’t ban my son from crossing roads because cars can be dangerous. I taught him how to cross the road safely.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

2 years

Popped into the local IGA for a couple of things, was wearing a mask. Unmasked mother clutched her two unmasked children and dragged them into an aisle to avoid me. Lady - I’m not part of the problem.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

For anyone interested my MP’s office have already contacted me today to discuss the matter.

Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

As a single parent I've been forced to deal with Services Australia for a few years in all it's various demonic manifestations, but it took until today to finally break me.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

Despite the assistance of @zdaniel 's office, a booked phone appointment AND a reminder from Services Australia of the appointment day & time - it's been half an hour and I have received no notifications or phone calls from Services Australia. Just as I predicted.

Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

As a single parent I've been forced to deal with Services Australia for a few years in all it's various demonic manifestations, but it took until today to finally break me.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

9 months

My god the job market is out of control with their expectations 😂😂

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

8 months

In case you missed it - the Vic emergency map from yesterday. #melbourne [source: reddit]

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

5 months

I won. Going to Victoria State finals in July. Got a silver though - no one has managed a gold. Technique outstanding - need to practice more under pressure.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 years

Fun Fact: I can’t get alcoholic drinks delivered because I don’t have a current photo ID. I turned 50 today.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

20 days

OMFG Officeworks - I bought a pencil yesterday. I do not need to fill out a survey about the experience ffs.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

11 months

"You have a letter in your myGov Inbox." Tries to exhale. It's in regards to my Carer application. THEY ARE ASKING FOR THE 13 PAGE DOCUMENT I UPLOADED ON NOVEMBER 1. I JUST LOGGED IN AND IT IS RIGHT THERE. UPLOADED 1 Nov 2023 (3:19 PM). I CLICK. IT'S FINE.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 years

Friend who does some Uber driving messaged me to tell me the most unusual sight he’s seen so far while driving - a completely naked man in Chapel st - who despite being naked in about 4°C at 2am - was wearing a mask on his face. Victorians - still safety conscious!

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

Holy shit. They’ve called already. A very sympathetic person called to tell me they’ve granted me an exemption from Mutual Obligations while my Carers claim is being processed. Because someone from my MPs office contacted them.

Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

Oh I love this on the edge of total anxiety unplanned random situation for me today. Which of my current 4 issues could this relate to - or is it a new one?

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 years

WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PRIME MINISTER OF AUSTRALIA?

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

6 months

Sandilands is pure filth.

Sherele Moody (Femicide Researcher) 🌈

@ShereleMoody

6 months

And this my friends, is why we have so many women being killed. Disrespect for women is a key driver of violence against women. When men in power demean women it normalises this behaviour.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 month

Labor to announce all kids must be in bed by 7:30pm on school nights, maybe up to 9pm on weekends and holidays, but don't push it, Mummy and Daddy MPs are tired.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

2 years

For Halloween this year I’m dressing as a Notification that You Have a Message in Your MyGov Account.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

I am told that I can't make an appointment, but I can at the end of my phone appointment, make an in person appointment. With them. In the office I'm currently sitting in. At this point I feel like I'm in a Monty Python sketch.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

2 years

Group hug for all of us without Mums who have to get through today ❤️

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

📣 Marked safe from being trafficked and exploited.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 years

At some point I should interrupt to the teen getting ready for school and remind him it’s a public holiday.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 years

Here is a dog trying to convince me it’s 5pm and therefore dinner time.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 years

Dogs in Victoria rejoicing over having their humans stuck at home.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

16 days

@EliMcCann Sometimes you just gotta hose the entire baby down.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

6 months

@AlboMP If only you were in a position of greater influence to do more than walk.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

9 months

Time to stop using the name "billionaires" and use the more accurate moniker "resource hoarders".

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

Happy Fathers Day to all the Mums who also have to be Dads. ❤️

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

Best present ever - Jo found the 6th cup! (She gave me the first 5 a couple of years ago).

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 years

Will the Prime Minister’s dog at least release a statement?

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

4 months

Got bronze

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

2 months

My heart smashed into pieces, I kissed my Mum goodbye. I don't think it's ever been whole again.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 month

I’m not saying that the Australian political class is out of touch, but Parliament House might as well be based on Pluto at this point.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

2 months

Vegemite is just Australian miso.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

THIS DAMN DOG WHO I HAVE CUDDLED FOR TWO NIGHTS AND TWO DAYS, SILENTLY SOBBING INTO HIS FUR SINCE I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING HIM HAS JUST WOLFED DOWN A BOWL OF FOOD & RUN AROUND THE BACKYARD

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

How about - absolutely no fucking way.

Coronation: Public invited to swear allegiance to King Charles

The pledge is among several changes to the service, which will incorporate female clergy and other faiths.

www.bbc.com

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

Received a wonderful gift today from a lovely person ❤️ Hand knitted jumper in Japanese yarn - 45% silk 45% kid mohair 10% lambs wool (for my wool nerd friends). Anyway not taking it off until summer.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

8 months

What I didn't expect from my tribunal hearing was a chance to tell my history with Centrelink, and receive understanding, solidarity and compassion, a promise to find a legal solution, and if that's impossible - another direction to pursue for justice.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

5 years

Is that needles in strawberries level prepared, or bushfire level?

9News Queensland

@9NewsQueensland

5 years

Authorities warn it's highly likely there'll be more cases of coronavirus, but say Australia is well prepared to deal with an outbreak. @cokeefe9 @ebonycavallaro #9News

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

6 months

Yeah my poppa slapped my nanna around their entire marriage because of video games. Sure.

Hugh Riminton

@hughriminton

6 months

Opposition Leader #PeterDutton says violence against women in Australia “is getting worse”. He blames, in part, computer games “young boys are playing.” He would support a Royal Commission “or anything” to make it better. #insiders

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 months

To the person who went crazy on my NGL accusing me of lying about my competition result. You are an idiot.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

2 years

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 months

What a time to finally adopt the Metric System.

Oilfield Rando

@Oilfield_Rando

3 months

So we came within a millimeter of an actual civil war there didn’t we

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

4 years

Omg I’m in love 🥰

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 years

Henceforth I shall be referring to “dick pics” as “scrotographs”.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

2 years

Since my life is never boring I’m hiding in my front room waiting for the police, because there is a naked man in my recycling bin.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 years

New rule - unless you’ve personally experienced a period you are not allowed to design anything related to periods.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

4 months

Her suspension is absolute bullshit.

6 News Australia

@6NewsAU

4 months

#BREAKING 🚨 Fatima Payman has been SUSPENDED INDEFINITELY from the Labor caucus by Anthony Albanese, hours after she said she was prepared to cross the floor again 6 News understands Payman is upset at not being allowed to vote her conscience #6NewsAU |

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

2 years

Can someone please explain to me why my parcel sent from a place in Victoria, to me also in Victoria - has apparently gone via PERTH????

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

10 months

The thing that I suddenly love about this cake is that the Teen - who has not eaten my baked goodies since he developed anorexia - loves this cake. He's had two slices already - which is more cake than he's had in two years.

Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

10 months

Chocolate Yogurt Devil’s Food Cake #baking #cake

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 month

Thanks to my neighbour who called the council about that I haven’t mowed the lawn in 2 weeks since I’ve been busy and sick. It’s not even 2cms long.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

I had a little cry in my friends car afterwards from pure frustration. I despise being in the system through sheer necessity, the humiliation and obtuseness of it breaks you down eventually.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

6 months

I appear to have hit a nerve here....

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

9 months

Have to attend a hearing at VCAT today with my first slumlord here and I’m anxious and furious at the same time. Not one repair was made in the 6 years I lived there, despite promises. But I was powerless as a single parent & no rental history in the country.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

4 months

Would you like to know what kind of man @RobertArnol is? He is a man who wipes the tears from the face of a friend who cries. And says it’s ok. I love him for that.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 years

And in case you were wondering yes he was a bit hot but there’s no way I could ever trust him to put his equipment in the correct recess after this morning’s shenanigans.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

For good reasons, many of us are disillusioned with politics. But can I tell you that I have already been contacted by Zoe Daniel MP's staff this morning to let me know they are draughting a letter, and to ask me if it's ok to include my story. Support and action.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 year

And that's why I'm broken today. I can't even.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

3 months

Adelaide

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 month

The Teen and I are in our 3rd year of fighting anorexia. Therefore I think this plan is fucking ridiculous.

Dr Vyom Sharma

@drvyom

1 month

Good god. Nursing peak organisation want to weigh kids at school so obese kids will lose weight - these people have no idea what they are doing.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 month

For the last several weeks a gorgeous friend has been turning up on Monday & Tuesday mornings to take the Teen to school and it’s had such a positive impact on battling his school refusal 😭 #grateful

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

1 month

Aspiring to be a cafe owner so my opinion counts.

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Crowbar Jones 🐻

@gomichild

10 months

@EliMcCann Truth serum concealed in a beverage is your only hope now.

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