fartcheeto @fartcheeto Twitter profile

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

6 months

She a 9. We meetin up at 11. And imma give her a night she’ll Never Forget. Call me Bin Laden.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

3 months

The one thing they don't tell you about having a hot girlfriend is that the prettiest girls are also the sleepiest. Every morning i get up and do random side quests for 4-6 hours until she wakes up.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

UPDATE: she’s a Republican, im an idiot, and there is no such thing as love.

fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

POV: you’re the woman at the Halloween party i went to that flirted with me and called my shitty cowboy outfit “adorable” and i am staring into your eyes desperately trying not to say “i love you”

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

2 months

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

3 months

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

6 months

This is like if 9/11 was actually bad

beer person

@CantEverDie

6 months

WHAT THE FUCK. EVIL SOUL. NO WHIMSY

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

1 year

@JUNlPER That’s on me, that’s my bad. Won’t happen again, just been a little clumsy this week

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

“You can fix her” motherfucker I cannot fix myself. That shit aint happening. I need you to learn not to be a Republican on your own, it’s not that hard. Just a sliver of empathy and a couple brain cells

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

3 months

She's so hot

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

6 months

Wait, are you guys serious about this whole Communism thing? I was just doing it to get laid… i don’t actually have to read all those fuckin books, right?

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

8 months

How did one of you get my address and what the fuck is this?

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

1 year

@jarvis He is an example of what happens to the human brain when u have no friends

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

@ObviousWC oh he just like me fr

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

6 months

IM BISEXUAL I CAN SAY THE WORD

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

Guys please stop following me. Everytime you like one of my tweets, you make me sink deeper into my mental illness through my sick, demented posting. Need yall to stop encouraging me, im clearly already in hell

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

2 years

@dklmarxist I used to be him in High School, now I’m just bi and suck dick in a variety of scenarios, not just ones where my life is being threatened. It’s cool 👍

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

2 months

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

6 months

A bit personal, but here’s a poem i wrote recently about my addiction/depression: I got a glock in my rari 17 shots, no .38 I got a glock in my rari 17 shots, no .38 I’m like yeah, she’s fine Wonder when she’ll be mine She walk past I press rewind To see that ass one more time

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

6 months

@ArtJCFB That’s like a lot

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

8 months

@CantEverDie Community Notes: None of the users present in this screenshot have ever felt the touch of a woman or known what it feels like to be loved.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

POV: you’re the woman at the Halloween party i went to that flirted with me and called my shitty cowboy outfit “adorable” and i am staring into your eyes desperately trying not to say “i love you”

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

@BigChromie If only there was a sexuality that allowed for liking men and women… oh well, hope they add that in the next update

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

5 months

I've recently accepted that I'll never be able to understand or relate to incels bc as a pathetic bisexual man with mommy issues and a deep sadness in his eyes, women just have this inherent, fierce, unquenchable thirst for me that i can't explain.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

2 years

@Srirachachau I, for one, am getting bad vibes from the guy that wants to kill a random woman for doing comedy and spare Hitler. Something seems fishy there

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

@vanoreo_ Didn’t know the devil on my shoulder had a twitter account. Nice to see you here.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

7 months

@CantEverDie Cillian Murphy was born to be a women’s basketball cheerleader, not an award winning actor. We were robbed of true greatness.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

7 months

This conversation has been a long time coming. It’s about time we discuss Jenny Tightpants and how she is the perfect representation of what the Online Left has become. A thread. (1/?)

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

8 months

I hate my life

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

6 months

@Very__Regular Worked there for a bit and after DJ Khaled tapped out early, we realized we should essentially water down the sauces. We've been doing it ever since bc it makes for better interviews and happier celebs, but we don't water down Sean's. He thinks it's real, and we let him suffer.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

6 months

@TSemanticore

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

2 years

@drmistercody Beginning to think he might not be a centrist

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

6 months

@Saeko_Cut I actually dirty my chicken before i cook it. I roll it on the floor. It adds flavor.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

3 months

@ph00tbag I understand, and I'm not complaining. It must be so tiring being that hot all the time, i imagine it takes a lot out of you.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

8 months

Accounts with 8 followers when they request your priv:

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

7 months

@SamtheNightOwl I’m in my mid 20s and i would kill god with my bare fucking hands to match with a 35yo woman holy shit

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

Got into an argument with my father about Palestine and i SHIT YOU NOT he goes, “Have you heard of Prager University? They have a lot of really good videos on Israel.”

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

2 years

@CosmonautMarcus MARCUS ARE THEY WEARING HOODS OMG GET OUT OF THERE MARCUS NOOOOOO

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

7 months

This incident was just yesterday. Going out of her way to attack a user. I contacted said user, and he was clear that this was a lie. He definitely actually gets bitches like fr. He’s not a virgin, he’s has sex before. At least twice. She is spreading lies, like all leftists.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

8 months

@CantEverDie I also think it’s made worse by some of the people that bring it up always contrasting it with the female experience. Saying “look we have it so much tougher than WOMEN” which makes it harder to take your point seriously. It’s a real issue, but a lot of those focusing in it suck

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

8 months

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

1 year

@JUNlPER Yeah, they’re definitely “targeting children” with this ad for a beverage u can’t buy unless ur 21

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

7 months

@wokeydpronouns And that’s just a theory, a Gender Theory

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

Presented without comment.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

8 months

The rumors are true, I have left the Left. Please read this in its entirety, and do not speculate about any parties involved. - Cheeto ❤️🇺🇸

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

@ettingermentum I hope he had a little notepad and it just said “TELL NIKKI HER DAUGHTER SUCKS”

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

7 months

Randomly getting someone a gift for no reason is one of the best parts of being in a relationship. Being out and seeing stuffed rabbit, getting it and saying “hey this made me think of you.” Worked with plants for a while, so I’ve always loved getting a partner flowers. It’s nice

Jason S. Campbell

@JasonSCampbell

7 months

Matt Walsh: "Buying a Valentine's Day gift for your wife a month early is the gayest thing you could do"

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

6 months

I’m not fucking “autistic” im doing a bit

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

Can one of the wonderful lesbians that follows me explain why so many people are saying they’re shocked that this wasn’t tweeted by a lesbian?

fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

UPDATE: she’s a Republican, im an idiot, and there is no such thing as love.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

8 months

SOMEBODY DO A WELLNESS CHECK ON JORDAN PETERSON RIGHT FUCKING NOW

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

2 years

@JUNlPER

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

7 months

Things that I haven’t experienced: - winning a game of chess Things that I have experienced: - the loving touch of a woman

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

@Ted_K_Enjoyer Politics affect everyone and are a reflection of how you think and what you value. That’s not something i can overlook. I’m also queer (bisexual) so i kinda don’t wanna date or be friends with someone that doesn’t think my community deserves equal rights.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

1 year

@JUNlPER My first lady got a Minecraft fit on, hell yeah. Gonna vote twice for her husband next election 🫡🫡🫡

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

2 months

@tylerduran21 Not a huge bush fan?

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

3 months

@BigChromie I didn't know you guys even knew what the word "girlfriend" meant

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

8 months

It’s been a few days, and im happy that we all had fun with Kissinger’s death. But im gonna need yall to keep this same energy for when Ronald Reagan dies

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

8 months

The package was addressed to “fartcheeto” and there was also a glock and a lesbian pride flag inside. There was no note. What does this mean?

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

6 months

@bonnibloop_ *sweating nervously* umm uhhh… y—yes?

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

8 months

@The_sigma_fem Just spitballing here, but uhhh… instead of talking to a robot you could talk to a woman. Or maybe a therapist. A pastor. Just a real person. Please.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

7 months

She is also accused of attempting to forcibly feminize a man. I have been in contact with him, and he made it clear that he is a big strong cis man and definitely not a girl. He didn’t wear a friend’s skirt in middle school as a joke and like it and thinks about that a lot.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

7 months

@wokeydpronouns I’m a slut for correctly formatted venn diagrams.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

7 months

This is just some of the overwhelming evidence that has PILED UP against her. This is not fucking ok. Jenny Tightpants is a diabetic, manhating gamer. We cannot let someone like that have power. The left has gone insane. END OF THREAD.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

2 months

@euronatiii

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

1 year

@halomancer1 Everyday I regret not becoming a right wing grifter. I could get on YouTube and say made up shit like “bubblegum is gay” and a fracking billionaire would pay me the same salary as a pro athlete. Where did i go wrong?

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

5 months

*gulps*

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

7 months

*taps sign*

beer person

@CantEverDie

7 months

WE’RE SO BACK

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

1 year

@ettingermentum I have a stutter sometimes, i hurt my ankle falling off a bike earlier this year, and i spend about half my time just chillin not doin shit. He is by far the most relatable president of my lifetime

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

7 months

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

1 year

@JUNlPER @jk_rowling JK Rowling blocked the goblin mode lady. “What?” U know on Twitter… the transphobic lady that wrote Harry Potter, she blocked the lady that did the Julia Fox Goblin Mode thing on Twitter. “Jesse what the fuck are u talking about?”

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

2 years

@JUNlPER I’m the guy whose job it is to put all the lead in, can confirm this is 100% legit

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

6 months

How it feels to be the only cis man in the group chat

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

8 months

Deleting my account

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

2 years

@JUNlPER This is their 9/11

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

@funnymagicring I’m not a democrat, I’m a queer leftist. She’s apparently transphobic and made some recent posts supporting a genocide. I don’t actively wish harm upon her, but I’m not interested in dating or being friends with someone who lacks a half-decent moral compass. I think that’s fair.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

1 year

@Liv_Agar None of these words are in the bible

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

3 months

Drake just posted this on his insta story in response to Kendrick's latest diss:

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

8 months

Wanna make it abundantly clear that i stand by this and it was funny. I deleted bc right wingers found it and were quoting it saying to report my account. I don’t want a bunch of death threats again either. I’m not a pussy, im just tired and don’t wanna lose another account

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

@halomancer1 I am being forcibly feminized by the Left.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

The best thing about one of your tweets going viral is the cool DMs you get

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

7 months

@wokeydpronouns There is a lot of evil and darkness in this place. But every once in a while a ray of sunshine breaks through the clouded sky, its warmth hits my face, and I experience true unfettered beauty

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

11 months

@halomancer1 He 100% jacked off to that tweet

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

6 months

@CantEverDie They may have filled the rat hole, but they also created a new hole… in my heart.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

3 months

@beowyfe When we met, we had similar amounts of followers and were on similar paths. You got to continue growing your account and have had many many viral tweets. Meanwhile, *I* get to be happy. I think that's fair.

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

2 years

@UNSTABLEPOSTING Transphobes:

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

2 years

@JUNlPER Think they’re less concerned with the popularity of weed and more concerned with how they can keep imprisoning poor black people

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

1 year

@JUNlPER I can’t have Google automatically recommending “goon cave tutorial” everytime i type a singular “g” into the search bar

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

11 months

@LolOverruled YOU HIT HER???

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

10 months

@ettingermentum No, he was arrested after police found human remains and evidence of cannibalism in his LA home that he sold in 2013

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

9 months

New one dropped overnight, and it’s my favorite

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

10 months

@JUNlPER Ok stand still, Steven… don’t move, this will make u feel better, i promise. U won’t think about the divorce ever again…

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

11 months

@drmistercody I love crashing my car by accidentally pulling up Angry Birds while im trying to put it in reverse

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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

7 months

Never wrong, just early.

Benjy Sarlin

@BenjySarlin

7 months

🟡SCOOP: There was a SECOND Capitol sex tape investigation last year, @kadiagoba reports. This one was on the House side. Semafor has viewed some of the material, which included footage apparently shot inside the Capitol complex.

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