laura @fancythis Twitter profile

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laura

4 years

just a friendly neighborhood reminder that the government’s favorite activity is to use fear to strip rights. #coronavirus

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

brilliant

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

you want to be safe. i want to be free. we are not the same.

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

ny tried contact tracing me

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

a+ parenting

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

from the family group chat:

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

i am not sick until proven healthy. my vaccination status is not your business. you cannot threaten me with exclusion from society because your version of society sucks.

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

@aubrey_huff the men who choose to love babies who don’t “belong” to them are twice the man you’ll ever be.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

so hollywood can celebrate itself (as per usual) but californians can’t eat indoors? cool. #Oscars

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

some of y’all have never met a cuban who escaped the castro regime, and it shows.

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

@Noahpinion

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

hey siri, show me a man who’s never had good sex.

Matthew Miller

@matthewamiller

3 years

Did not quite anticipate the wave of euphoria and emotion that comes with that first shot. Go get your vaccine, folks. Best feeling you’ll have had in a year.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

my poppy went to heaven yesterday. the man with the big hands + even bigger heart. who always told his babies + grandbabies how much he loved them, how proud he was of them + how precious they were to him. he was the greatest man i’ve ever known. beloved by so many. my hero.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

an idea: meat-based plants.

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

i don’t want a stimulus check i want freedom you asshats

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

@MaxBoot y…you know that the electoral college’s entire purpose is to attempt to create balance between power and population…right? because we’re not a democracy.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

@NYGovCuomo you’re the reason. don’t you dare try to pretend like you didn’t tell the media that if businesses opened people would die. YOU DID THIS. ny was on life support and you killed it. i hope voters remember.

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

@libsoftiktok so if i marry a white guy it’s because i’m a racist but if i marry a black guy it’s also because i’m a racist

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

@lawindsor and…you think…this is…bad?

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

she’s back in surgery. please pray.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

🐂

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

💀

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

a reminder: trump is why fauci came into our lives. trump started the inflation ball rolling with stimmy checks. hold your people accountable.

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

@therecount “oppressed” people do not have the privilege of consuming my body weight in food daily

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

@RonFilipkowski ahhh i see, you’re of the “we have to pass it to know what’s in it” party

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

@JeromeAdamsMD @ryanciminski not to be all nitpicky, but were those prison sentences earned? because these kids didn’t do anything wrong and your attempt to equate them is bullshit.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

the left are switching their stance to pro-police/military because they’ll need them to enforce their policies and take your guns.

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

real patriots get angry over taxes and dump the king’s tea into the harbor

ᴀᴅᴀᴍ ʙᴏʏᴇs

@amboyes

4 years

Real patriots pay taxes.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

“life is short, buy the dress.”

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

i’m not complaining about wearing a mask. i’m complaining about government overreach. your inability to understand that is why they’re able to get away with it.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

nye #sharkcoochie includes brisket + ribeye. i don’t make the rules.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

from the family group chat:

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

@VP like on your knees or......?

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

ok hear me out…what if you: learn the female reproductive system (men and women) and have intimate knowledge of your own cycle be choosy about your sexual partners be EXTRA choosy about who you allow to pump fluids into you

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

well. so. i got the job y’all. 🥳

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

🧪

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

the census guy came to my house today and looked me dead-ass in the face and asked: “are you a female?” we’ve taken this a little far, no?

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

@jes_chastain my paycheck that has been gang raped by the government before i even touch it since i first started working at age 14 would like a word

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

we had a pre-op appointment for this little butterfly today. she has surgery friday, and her mama is a nervous wreck. prayers and love and good vibes appreciated 💜

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

this is…terrible. and i laughed.

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laura

@fancythis

1 year

for those who’ve gone before us ✨

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

@ChrisMurphyCT y’all keep calling those cops good guys, and i just don’t know how to break it to you that any man who stands by and does nothing for 77 minutes while children are dying is not good.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

fresh ends 💇🏼‍♀️

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laura

@fancythis

1 year

in light of all this recent attention on dylan mulvaney, i’ve been trying to come up with a way to articulate how it makes me feel as a woman. like, you know, a REAL one. there’s anger, of course, indignation, frustration, confusion, and all those sorts of emotions.

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

i don’t know who needs to hear this, but: f u c k a n t i f a

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

i have great news friends: the lifting of the mandate doesn’t mean you CAN’T wear a mask if you want to wear one. just like it didn’t mean i HAD to wear one. ok maybe it did. but i do what i want. you should too. 👏🏻the 👏🏻government👏🏻 isn’t 👏🏻your 👏🏻daddy👏🏻

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

@kandistmallett or.....and hear me out.....you could just own some shit

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

guys. GUYS. 😂😂😂😂 my brother is police (please don’t come at me over this 1. he’s a wonderful man 2. i’m his big sister and I WILL CUT YOU) and this was spray painted in his district last night and i just CAN’T.

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

i’m losing my hair too. #taxationistheft #endthefed

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

normalize cooking everything in bacon fat.

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

it’s not award winning or anything 😉 but i think my apple pie turned out alright.

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

i’m not a “girl power” kinda gal, but since it’s #InternationalWomensDay imma share with you the coolest thing, to me, about being a woman. i grew two whole humans in this bod of mine. i birthed them + nourished them. it’s the most badass thing i have ever or will ever do.

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

@SenSanders your wealth has gone up astronomically as a politician and you’ve contributed little to nothing to society. his contributions are innumerable. this isn’t difficult.

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

🌳

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

i said it in 2016 + lefties got mad at me, so i’ll say it in 2020 so the right can get mad at me too: if the office of the presidency has enough power that you’re scared of who is elected - it’s too powerful. so maybe stop electing people who make the government bigger idk.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

the quickest way to control a population is to convince them their peers want to harm them at every turn, and the only savior is the government.

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

@libsoftiktok again i say: enabling your child’s transition is the new shiplap

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

@KeithOlbermann @MeetThePress keith. we all know you’re only saying this because you want everyone to know you dated above your potential.

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

i do so love it when a fat nurse tells me, a healthy, 37 yo mother of 2 who wears a size 4 and is on zero medications how i need to be eating carbs to be healthy. no really, it’s my favorite.

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

so, you know you can be opposed to police brutality without aligning yourself with BLM, right?

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

disband teachers unions + eliminate the department of education.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

if you lock your child in a room for 14 days because a school district tells you to - over a virus that most people are recovering from, you are a child abuser.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

bacon + bourbon #dinner

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

noticed you’re still covering your hair. tell me about that.

Ilhan Omar

@IlhanMN

4 years

Me: Let’s dismantle all systems of oppression. Republicans:

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

happy monday ✨

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

men be like: “oh i changed my breathing pattern and lost 20 lbs.”

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

thanks to @DavidSpade for the side-splitting laughter and for calling @CCPISASSH0E out when she had to get up to pee

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

my siblings and i all chipped in to buy my dad a new recliner and he walked by it 3 times without noticing. honestly is there a more dad move?

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

who has two thumbs and just passed her real estate license exam?!?!

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

went on a walk. got weird looks from some people on the trail. couldn’t figure out why. then remembered:

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

i’m 21 hours into a 24 hour fast and i have done zero murders.

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

“ok…guess how much riboflavin…”

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

made pies again 🥧

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

no red, white, and blue bikini shots here. but i *am* sharing the truth with the folks at the pool today. so. #taxationistheft #happyindependenceday

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

i picked up @ChickfilA for my kids for dinner, and the smell of it is breaking down my willpower. should i mom-tax their fries?

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

a special mother’s day #sundressmilitia post. AND i’m wearing a color. @carryonfreebird

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laura

@fancythis

1 year

these companies are supplying what women have demanded of them. where is your feminism? what happened to your precious feminine mystique? our value - our uniqueness - has been traded for 30 pieces of silver. and piss masquerading as beer. cc: @budlight @Nike

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

😂☠️

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

@jonfavs bruh. the spin on this tweet would be the envy of tanya harding.

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

i cant believe this needs to be said, but today and forevermore, @chrissyteigen is a grieving mother. she’s living a hell unimaginable to those who’ve never experienced it. so anyone with *anything* to say to her outside of condolences during this time can just fuck right off.

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

*braces self* pepsi > coke

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

eating a ribeye is self-care. 🥩

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

@LaFouRoux i’ve had 2 children, and i’d bet my savings account i’d garner more favor with “hot guys” than you would, pumpkin.

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

@KimIversenShow yes. learn a trade or only go to college for something that is worthy of whatever debt you take on- ie…a degree that will get you a job that actually pays for it. this isn’t difficult

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

just found out from my landlord that the house across the street from me sold for just under $500k. it was listed at $385k, got 50 offers, some of which were cash, and most waived the inspection. this. market. is. insane.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

i’m about to go into a bucee’s for the first time ever. i’m told this will be an experience.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

i wanna be friends with this man

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

@ChefGruel even if you kept indoor dining- were all adults capable of making our own decisions. screw them all.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

a lot of your parents didn’t talk to you about the misery index under jimmy carter, and it shows.

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

making a huge batch of chili for dinner. WITH beans. suck it, texas.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

today’s ungovernable moment™️ is wearing white pants after labor day while sitting in a class with adults who still don’t know how to find percentages. (turns out real estate math isn’t so hard)

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

a personal moment: i just signed up for real estate school. kinda proud of me. 😊

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

today is a big day. it weighs heavily on my heart for reasons i can’t share. but what i can ask of you is prayer + love + positivity. will you please take a moment to share that?

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laura

@fancythis

4 years

from the family group chat:

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

when it’s october 1st so you’re really tryna be autumnal but also you live in texas. long sleeve linen + shorts it is.

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laura

@fancythis

2 years

@prward lol no christians are to protect the vulnerable. care for the vulnerable. stand up for the vulnerable. those things are very difficult to do if you’re imprisoned because of your own weakness and vulnerability.

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laura

@fancythis

3 years

so. the @Rangers have a covered stadium. the parking lot is a different story.

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