once i took a girl on a date and she said “wow, i love how polite you are to the employees” and then i went home and found her twitter and she tweeted “date someone who is polite to food service employees” and then she had the audacity to get a boyfriend that wasnt me
My dad can get into “dad-mode” sometimes. He’s a doctor who is worried about the virus, and told me, his 24 year old son, in a 5 min rant that this isn’t the time to be trying to have a lot of “play-dates”. So if you were trying to play after school im sorry my dad said we cant
life as a liberal for me is so nice
6:30 AM - Wake up, Land Acknowledgment
8:00 AM - Vegan breakfast
10:00 AM - 6:00 PM - Welfare Leeching
7:00 PM - voter fraud
9:00 PM - 11:00 PM - job at weather machine (at night for secrecy)
12:00 am - 6:30 am - nesting with poly clan
it’s interesting how so much of online leftism eschews the tenets of leftism and instead opts to blame the individual instead of the system. ok so you think some midwestern 60 year olds are ontologically evil. what now
i made these conservative coded leftist memes a few years ago and a few conservative facebook friends were like “wow! i didnt know you were so patriotic!”
me, the one person who bravely chooses not to be susceptible to propaganda: i think we should throw the people who dumbly choose to be susceptible to propaganda in camps
“i agree”
- uh, ok
- boring
- low effort
“so true bestie”
- reinforces friendship
- makes an epistemological claim about truth
- endorphin rush in the brain
The most POWERFUL Mormons in the world rankings:
3. The 14 year old Eagle Scouts
2. Bishops who declare “ladies first” for refreshments
And of course
1. Those who carry FOUR (4)!! chairs at a time cleaning up after stake conference
What do you think the dude wearing an American Flag hat had to say about nuking the Japanese civillians in my philosophy class. Just take a wild guess. Just take a guess. Just gueeeess.
L + ratio + you say cringe unironically + you’ve lost all sense of childlike wonder + you don’t know to say something true and beautiful + your sense of right and wrong is purely aesthetic + in the midst of winter, you ignored within you the invincible summer
My second grade teacher would get a paddle and give people birthday spankings on their birthday, bending them over in front of the class. One time she bent over a chubbier boy, rubbed his buttocks with the paddle, and made the joke “that’s a whole lotta jelly”
The results are in!!! Thank you to everyone who participated and voted in this years’ Best Twitter User of 2019!! and a SPECIAL congratulations to the winner!!
When i was a child, i saw a bee get stuck in a spider’s web. I took a stick and cut the bee free. The bee immediately flew up to my neck, stung me, and flew away. Moral of the story is don’t help anyone. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Some of u really need to work on communication skills. Sometimes, me liking your tweet means i like your tweet. Sometimes it means dm me, you’re cute. Sometimes it means i’m just saying hi and staying supportive. Sometimes it’s an accident. Grow up and learn the difference.
@bocxtop
@dianelyssa
exactly. the point is she can PROVE she’s a progressive is she supports the progressive candidate. that’s the whole point. I want to root for her
me: i promise i won’t become the stunning vistas of autumnal foliage that cause the mind the reflect on impermanence and the very soul itself tonight
me three drinks later:
@stacycay
i think it’s an intertwined set of forces thats more complicated than the original tweet i was responding to was implying. but i don’t think it means allowing hate or bigotry to thrive or to handwave it away. I’m truly sorry for what you went through with republican family
@polypocketknife
actually i don’t think it’s “merely” that! i think there are a few factors, but it goes far beyond the initial framing of “just choosing to do it to themselves”
Very depressing meme but good news tho: Humans aren’t inherently a scourge on the earth and we CAN solve this mess if we figure out how to change our systems of being and coexist with eachother and nature, utilizing technology for GOOD. Check out what Murray Bookchin had to say:
@sushipregnancy
@JordanUhl
republicans: let’s capture the youth demographic with young passionate leaders and PragerU propaganda
democrats: we need to get O̶̥̐́͑͐̐̆̕L̷͇̥̯̺̆̈́̒̍̀̓̈́͜͠Ḑ̸̨̨̻̣̭͙̗̍̄̀̇͜É̵̡͎̬̗̟̤̥̼͔͙̉̈̐̆̈́͑̾R̶͉͖̝̹͕̼͇͚͎̝̾̔̄̍͆́̕̚͝
@ihatethiskid
there are so many thirst comments here no one is going to notice me saying i peed my pants in the second grade and told my friend it was because my mom forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
me: cuffing season is a meaningless social construct where in reality nothing about our inclination to find a partner changes
*first snow falls*
me: nvm
remembering the time i posted this on my story on 4/20 and this girl screenshotted it. Later i was hanging out with her and found out it wasn’t because it was funny but because she thought it was actually a beautiful thing to say lol
do you guys think in 200 years society will have moved past absolutely worshipping attractive people for the sake of being attractive or are we doomed to be stuck on that until the end of time
If someone tries to establish dominance over you by saying “hey bud”, do not fret, but reply with “hey sport”. If they persist with an ill-advised, “hey big guy”, then respond with a swift “hey champ” and you are now the alpha.