“Three thousand seven hundred and ninety-nine.” He had counted as he walked. It was the number of steps up to the main gate, the number of steps that Chu Wanning had climbed that day, carrying him on his back.
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ships where one half considers themselves a monster and the other half loves them wholeheartedly, sees the good in them and has had faith in them all along that they’ve never been a bad person.
“If one day I commit an unforgivable crime,” Mo Ran whispered quietly, the tip of his nose rubbing against Chu Wanning’s, “I want you to take my life, it’s right here.”
“Actually, this Venerable one wants to say…” Taxian-Jun took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and spoke in an extremely stiff tone, “This Venerable one wishes to say, after so many years, it seems… I did miss you so much…”
“If one day I commit an unforgivable crime,” Mo Ran whispered quietly, the tip of his nose rubbing against Chu Wanning’s, “I want you to take my life, it’s right here.”
“For as long as you live?”
“For as long as I live.”
“…I might walk very fast, with no regard for you.”
“That’s alright, I’ll chase after you.”
“I might not want to walk anymore and just stand there.”
“I’ll stand with Shizun.”
Outside, the snow was falling harder and harder, and the night was getting darker. They slept in each other’s arms, both of them thinking. So, this is the rest of my life.
However, the child was unwilling. He buried his face in Mo Ran’s shoulder and whispered, “I’ll tell you in hushed tones, I don’t like him…”
Mo Ran also said to him, “I’ll tell you in secret, I love him.”
“For as long as you live?”
“For as long as I live.”
“…I might walk very fast, with no regard for you.”
“That’s alright, I’ll chase after you.”
“I might not want to walk anymore and just stand there.”
“I’ll stand with Shizun.”
“If one day I commit an unforgivable crime,” Mo Ran whispered quietly, the tip of his nose rubbing against Chu Wanning’s, “I want you to take my life, it’s right here.”
I do not want future generations to refer to you as a ghost when they speak of us. I don’t want future generations of books to carry this passage, saying that you and I are master and disciple turned enemies.
“What does he want with me?” Mo Ran laughed drily. “I’m just some dumbass.”
Chu Wanning replied, “I’ve never met a dumbass who could cultivate a core within a year.”
“It’s all over, Mother.” Mo Ran looked very peaceful. “But I can’t see you anymore. I’ve killed, and my hands are covered with blood. Mother, I’m going to hell after I die, and I’ll never see you again.”