Todays my 30th birthday and all I want for my birthday is to be Cracker of The Day™️
@AB84
here’s a pic of me from my Scooby Doo birthday party last night
If you don’t like ass, sec football, and live music then fucking unfollow/ block/ mute me because Twitter is supposed to be silly and some of y’all are just little loser ass twats
Dude next to me on the plane was this hot little douchebag from San Diego thought it was about to be a love story but he was so drunk (it’s 8am) he got kicked off the plane before we even finished boarding - I’ll never forget him
When you abandon your country roots and someone comes along who’s better at it than you so you try to bless the world with one shitty pop song to make yourself relevant again
Rebranding as a nice girl and nice girls don’t do fingernail bumps in the bathroom of the family friendly Italian joint or the country club bathroom afterwards and I wouldn’t do that either because I’m a nice girl
Riding the high of my performance review today (praise kink) I’m a corporate asset and they’re impressed by my ability to balance work and play but who wouldn’t be that’s that SEC education baby
I love traveling alone for work trips and doing whatever the fuck I want yes I am at a Chilis yes I have 3 beverages and yes I did order a triple dipper