Emma 🗡 @edjenko Twitter profile

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@nekona_kiki

Emma 🗡

@edjenko

3 years

baby (sword for scale)

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@edjenko

4 years

you can reset your brain to factory settings by staring at the ocean for 45 mins

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2 years

watching a movie at my parents house. motion blur. no subtitles. wish I was never born.

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2 years

@sdial027 extremely flattered that you think im gen z

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@edjenko

2 years

the movie is die hard

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@edjenko

2 years

it was also my birthday just so you know how much i was suffering

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@edjenko

2 years

@coldlunch looks like a respectable 1.85:1 they’re not animals

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@edjenko

3 years

Hey wake up man you gotta go drive the forklift

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@edjenko

6 years

a tinder guy just described himself to me as “more of a birb person than a doggo person” which turns out to be the heftiest final straw conceivable

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@edjenko

3 years

umm I ordered a normal baby but they have given me an extra cool baby ://

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@edjenko

2 years

i’d rather be dead in woolworths than alive in coles

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@edjenko

2 years

wow a viral post on xmas follow me so I can shill my fantasy book to you in 1-2 years also I am very beautiful

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@edjenko

4 months

yeah uh give me one of those houses with openable windows

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@edjenko

2 years

getting age of empires in a cereal box literally changed the trajectory of my life

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@edjenko

2 years

yanks stop messaging me saying we have the same birthday im from a different time zone you couldnt possibly understand

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@edjenko

6 months

its so funny to read news articles like ‘why arent australians having enough babies?!’ published right next to stories about another maternity ward shutting down and the insane cost of daycare

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@edjenko

1 year

exact vibe of having a toddler just a weird little guy who is always there

frasier looking at video games

@frasier_looking

1 year

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@edjenko

3 years

baby (sword for scale)

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@edjenko

3 years

It finally happened my twin and I were standing next to each other and the baby did a double take

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@edjenko

4 years

colleague called our project manager Dad in a zoom meeting i feel so alive

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@edjenko

6 years

too smart for the funny boys, too funny for the smart boys, unfortunately just right for the overeducated disillusioned irony infested boys who use niche humour to deflect from their chronic inability to reach their full potential

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@edjenko

5 years

yeah.. I surf ..

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@edjenko

4 years

Stephen and I are getting a new roommate

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@edjenko

2 years

thinking about taking on an absurd and life destroying mortgage simply so I never have to interact with a real estate agent again

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@edjenko

2 years

baby (sword for scale)

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@edjenko

5 months

celebrating five years of using Dr in my email signature when i want to win the biggest bitch award at work

Emma 🗡

@edjenko

5 years

yeh im a phd.. a pretty hot dude

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@edjenko

3 years

baby (sword for scale)

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@edjenko

3 years

1 like = 1 go the fuck to sleep

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@edjenko

3 years

its my last night as a baby house

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@edjenko

5 years

remember when there was a big cow and everyone online was happy for a bit that was nice

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@edjenko

6 years

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@edjenko

2 years

i love that the treatment for endometriosis is ‘ok good luck’

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@edjenko

3 years

spending $100 five times: luxurious, special treat time, I deserve it, etc spending $500 one time: evil evil evil evil

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@edjenko

2 years

what the actual fuck is going on

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@edjenko

3 years

my 2 babies

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@edjenko

5 years

just sat down on a raw toilet bowl no seat no nothing jsut cold porcelain on my ass cause I was staring too hard at this

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@edjenko

3 years

canceled my wow sub who knew having a baby would be a 24/7 type deal and not just something to do outside of raid hours they should put that on the baby label

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@edjenko

2 years

wow tomorrow is 3 years since I achieved my life goal and immediately shut down 98% of my brain functionality whats ontology lol I dont care

Emma 🗡

@edjenko

5 years

yeh im a phd.. a pretty hot dude

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@edjenko

3 years

tfw you see microsoft teams for the first time and realise you got born in the worst possible era of human history

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@edjenko

2 years

it is my stroke anniversary congrats to me for being alive and for using my one precious existence to go on the computer 15 hrs a day it is what the neurosurgeons who saved me would have wanted

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@edjenko

3 years

Seems like a good time to say that we named the baby Arthur. There can only be one.

ComicBook NOW!

@ComicBookNOW

3 years

ARTHUR reportedly cancelled after 25 years:

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@edjenko

3 years

meet the one month old entrepreneur interested in crypto

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@edjenko

3 years

He moved in 2 months ago but hasnt paid any rent yet :// what do I do

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@edjenko

3 years

If I have to be alone for the birth of my one and only child I swear to god that I will quietly and respectfully say oh these things happen while emotionally shutting down in a way I will never truly recover from

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@edjenko

3 years

Tgif from the little goblin who lives in my house

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@edjenko

2 years

should be illegal to end a young family’s lease immediately before their kid is due to start at the local daycare imo

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@edjenko

2 years

barny beekeeper number one fan @Barny @xmaddiemoonx

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@edjenko

3 years

Stephen is holding the baby up and flying him around like a plane and saying ‘world trade centre’ as he pretends to crash into things anyway good luck to Arthur hope you have a nice life pal

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@edjenko

3 years

survived a stroke, got a phd, had a kid … thatll probably do it for me achievement wise, time to spend the next 40-50 years laying down quietly in a dark room

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@edjenko

3 years

not to go full mum but this guy rules

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@edjenko

4 years

not only am I pregnant… but I have been pregnant since like the start of November… and not posting about it 24/7 is the hardest thing ive ever had to do in my whole stupid little life

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@edjenko

3 years

It is once again my stroke anniversary and I am once again reflecting on how lucky I am to still be walking around this bitch of an earth (now with sidekick)

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@edjenko

7 years

no one should say hello to me when I’m outside. you wanna talk to me? send me a DM like a normal fucking person

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@edjenko

3 years

he just nut in me and started playing league of legends

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@edjenko

3 years

‘May I, Papa?’: McDonald’s Is Releasing A New Fig And Ladyfinger McFlurry For Fancy Little Boys Who Desire A Treat

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@edjenko

2 years

finally started wheel of time books and at first i thought hmmm kinda boring and now i’m thinking hmm i wonder what my very good friend Rand al’Thor is up to right now

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@edjenko

4 months

he yearns for the blade

Emma 🗡

@edjenko

3 years

baby (sword for scale)

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@edjenko

5 years

yeh im a phd.. a pretty hot dude

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@edjenko

3 years

took the baby to the pub for the first time everyone is cheering and clapping and throwing flowers and lining up to shake my hand

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@edjenko

3 years

3yrs ago stevie and I were in the DMs planning our first date for the following weekend then I invited him over last minute to watch speedrunning that night and he surprisingly said yes - something I now know he’d NEVER do unless he was terminally down bad - so happy anniversary

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@edjenko

6 years

i have lowered my expectations. i no longer demand to be fucked or married, just killed is fine.

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@edjenko

24 days

my son was born to post! mr albanese let my son post!

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@edjenko

2 years

baby learnt how to wave like a week ago and now he waves at everything - the tv, his toys, and sometimes he waves at nothing which I assume means the ghost still lives with us and hes made friends with it

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@edjenko

3 years

test came back positive

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@edjenko

3 years

hello mother

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@edjenko

3 years

baby slept for 10 hours completely uninterrupted im crying my skin has cleared my hair is shiny everyone is shaking hands theres world peace

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@edjenko

2 years

happy birthday Arthur say it back

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@edjenko

3 years

have you seen this? have you heard about this?

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@edjenko

5 years

I was born on this rail replacement bus, imprisoned on this rail replacement bus, and ill die on this rail replacement bus

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@edjenko

2 years

a very special TGIF from the birthday boy

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@edjenko

3 years

sometimes i wish id never studied art and literature cause you know what sucks? compulsively overanalysing all media. exhausting. you know what has never sucked once, ever? watching a beefcake kick a ball or a car go really really really fast. thats living.

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@edjenko

3 years

my hair is long, my boobs are big, the baby is asleep, im playing minecraft.. women can have it all

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@edjenko

7 months

dune 2 is everywhere for those with eyes to see

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@edjenko

4 years

Not doing a fundraiser or party like I normal do but today is my stroke anniversary a very special day for me so maybe im gonna spread some stroke facts and idk talk about my life as a stroke survivor

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@edjenko

3 years

Hello

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@edjenko

3 years

once I met up with an online friend when I was like six months pregnant and they couldnt stop laughing cause they though me being pregnant was just a bit I was doing

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@edjenko

2 years

don delillo is, yet again, shaking and crying and throwing up

summer 🖕

@salesforcechild

2 years

salesforce monks

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@edjenko

6 years

today at woolies i overheard a woman ask the baker if she could get just 1 croissant and the baker said they only come in 2 packs so I went up to her and said that I too only wanted 1 croissant and we went to the register together and split the pack and now we’re getting married

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@edjenko

3 years

he was from Rivendell, she was from lothlorien, can I make it any more obvious

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@edjenko

2 years

i’ve read this thread like 5 times over the last few days cant get enough look forward to reading it again anytime i need a little pick me up

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@edjenko

11 months

scavengers reign is the greatest thing to happen to me, personally, this entire year

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@edjenko

6 years

every time im attracted to a musician i bop myself on the nose with a rolled up newspaper, every time im attracted to someone who isnt a musician i give myself a little treat

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Emma 🗡

@edjenko

3 years

for sale. Baby. never sleeps.

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@edjenko

3 years

Stephen talks to the baby in a jar jar binks voice so much its definitely messing up his language acquisition hes gonna be all ex squeeze me mummy can mesa play fortnight

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Emma 🗡

@edjenko

6 years

if I vocal fry while talking about politics every straight leftie dude under 35 in a kilometre radius gets a pavlovian boner

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@edjenko