Ed Jefferson @edjeff Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@CareSwasft

Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

6 years

hi @bbc i've got a good idea for a new current affairs show. not really worked out the details or the format but the main thing is we wouldn't invite nazis on.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

8 months

okay, i do earn a lot of money but i'm not wealthy because i voluntarily burn loads of it in a big bin

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

in my day the nuclear bomb man used to come round and bomb us every week. we loved it. of course your not allowed to say that now

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

There is absolutely no way that, in the UK of the 2020s, this doesn't result in Stonehenge falling through the roof of the tunnel.

BBC Wiltshire

@BBCWiltshire

1 year

BREAKING: The Stonehenge tunnel is going ahead. The Transport Secretary has granted a Development Consent Order (DCO) to construct it. A DCO previously issued for the project was quashed by the High Court in July 2021 amid concern about the environmental impact.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

6 years

don't worry if you didn't get the numbers you were hoping for on your 'funny' a-levels tweet, many people i know did terrible a-levels tweets but have gone on to amass thousands of followers

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

6 years

Guess the tech bubble burst

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

@youngvulgarian this was a doctor who joke!

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

6 years

The actress who portrayed Ramsay Street's Annalise Hartman later played a guest at Ross & Chandler's college reunion. And *that’s* when good Neighbours became good Friends.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

6 years

why does the "marketplace of ideas" consist solely of hundreds of variations on "but what if racism is good?" and never "what if sonic the hedgehog is real and my friend?"

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

6 months

at a certain point you do have to be like "yeah I can see why they think chatGPT can do this"

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

7 months

How about we make the toilets work then have "fun"

Malcolm Prince

@malprin

7 months

London St…? #PancakeDay 🥞

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

PSA they're doing a revisit to *that* Grand Designs episode tonight

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

Why do they put the cost of these things in the headline? Story doesn't offer any context as to whether that's a lot of money, a normal amount of money, or not very much money for a railway station in Thanet. Am I supposed to just know?

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

why didn't the dog count as one of the seven in the secret seven but it did in the famous five. load of shit.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

@youngvulgarian

Doctor Who - The Doctor Confuses An Officer From World War One "What...

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www.youtube.com

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

@youngvulgarian my understanding is that climate change is happening because a trans person left the oven on

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

Just say you're going to build houses on it and it will instantly become a beloved local landmark

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

6 months

@Milo_Edwards @theJeremyVine cant even try and sail your dog to scotland in a bath tub these days

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

@hansmollman hope she's done a whole 'now you've watched this you'll die in 7 days' bit

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

@youngvulgarian oh i wasn't saying it was nicked, just an opportunity to tweet about doctor who really

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

lol what a loser im a double ceo, have 3 phds and 400 kids and i did in *5* years. my secret? i never go to the toilet

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

6 months

as I often advise clients trying to use data for PR purposes "did anything notable happen in 2020"

Nick Kapur

@nick_kapur

6 months

This data is absolutely insane, if true. Basically every category of meeting one's romantic partner is diving toward zero and getting eaten by online.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

5 years

Why does everyone keep saying na election on December the 12th is going to fuck up their Christmas does it take you the whole day to get the door of the advent calendar open or something

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

@CasparSalmon "am I more mental than Graham Linehan" probably not the bar is it

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

5 years

@TyronWilson je telephone la police

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

The marble arch mound may not be reading your tweets but your friends who are London-based immobile piles of garbage are

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

Letterle 21/26 ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ ⬜ 🟩

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

8 months

what's going on with the setting for this photo - is 'going to the library' meant to be a signifier of poverty or something?

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

8 months

oh no, now we'll have to send our child to the same school as someone who earns 2000 pounds a year less than us would be able to afford. the injustice.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

If you get your phone nicked this weekend tell them it was your special coronation phone and maybe they'll actually try and get it back

Metropolitan Police

@metpoliceuk

1 year

Our tolerance for any disruption, whether through protest or otherwise, will be low. We will deal robustly with anyone intent on undermining this celebration. 🧵🔽

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

durham police it is your moment: unleash the maximum banter timeline

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

Sad that Neighbours is ending. Did you know that the actress who portrayed Ramsay Street's Annalise Hartman later played a guest at Ross & Chandler's college reunion. And *that’s* when good Neighbours became good Friends.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

whatsapp crashed under the weight of local neighbourhood watch groups debating whether people letting off fireworks should merely be sentenced to life or executed

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

5 years

has anyone ever calculated how many episodes of star trek there are where the plot boils down to 'someone is horny, with dramatic consequences' because is it all of them

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

who remembers growing up in the 1950s when schools used to fall down every day. no woke health and safety then!!! we loved it

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

Lots of people asking me to explain what happened with Facebook - as I understand it, someone did a big poo inside the "main computer" and all sparks flew out of it 1/987

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

not just games! i've downloaded my ape into eastenders and he's one of the main characters now.

Mike Shinoda

@mikeshinoda

3 years

Ah! So here’s something people aren’t explaining: NFTs don’t have to be jpgs. Imagine taking your favorite skin from Valorant, and using it Fortnite. And not paying extra, because you own it. Then using it in CoD, Minecraft, even Twitter, IG. So many possibilities, no?

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

5 years

what the fuck even is the point of an advert for a train company if i want to go somewhere on the train i'll get the train that goes where i want to go cheers lads

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

@hansmollman thing is he's not even living particularly frugally because it turns out one weird trick (earning £75,000 a year) will let you save AND do fun stuff. WHY DIDNT I FINK OF DAT?!?!?

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

so a little guy moved in with us???

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

6 years

i plotted the geographic midpoint of all the uk political party headquarters so the centrist party that will save us all must be based in this barn in shrewsbury

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

Jail for every PPE grad MP who wanks on about the importance of STEM subjects, for life if they try and claim economics is a science.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

How old do you have to be to "think in Fahrenheit"? I have absolutely no instinctive sense for what 76 degrees F means.

Toby Earle 🇺🇦 Threads tobyontv

@TobyonTV

3 years

see you all in Lockdown 4

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

9 months

And you can read that statement after answering one quick survey question

Press Gazette

@pressgazette

9 months

In a rare joint public statement, senior editors at the UK’s five biggest commercial regional news publishers have banded together to call for the BBC to stop “suffocating” their businesses

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

crying as i tip all my jackie weaver merch onto a bonfire. there are no heroes in this world

BBC Politics

@BBCPolitics

2 years

Jackie Weaver did not "have the authority" after all, reports say

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

4 years

new policies to stop the spread of coronavirus: 1) £500 fine for anyone caught texting 'see you soon' to a friend 2) £5000 bonus to all companies who make all their employees come into work and kiss each other with tongues

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

11 months

@Patch_Thompson Thing is, this thinking isn't actually about anything they want to happen - people will share these memes and then their next post will be whinging about a road being closed off one Sunday a year for a play street.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

5 years

that fact that this has two citations is why wikipedia is in fact good now

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

I've also been kicked in the head by a horse

Jeremy Vine

@theJeremyVine

2 years

There is something in this.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

can't believe snowflakes want to ban shining lasers into opposition players' eyes and shooting fireworks at them. all part of the beautiful game.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

i made a game for tube nerds

Journey Planner Challenge

Prove how well you know the London Underground!

edjefferson.com

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

Looking at some slightly dubious Google Keywords data, I reckon the answer might be Martin Lewis, half a million searches per month in the UK and basically bugger all elsewhere.

Ed Cumming

@edcumming

1 year

Which celebrity has the biggest ratio of British to international fame? Schofield must be up there.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

@RobynVinter im glad at least one politician isnt afraid to stand up to big moon

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

interesting plan here to kick Uxbridge, Croydon etc out of London and replace them with Newcastle

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

4 years

@hansmollman You can walk 500 miles, but do not walk 500 more and fall down at someone's door

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

4 years

just had a little play with photoshop and something weird going on with boris johnson's message of congratulations to joe biden

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

6 years

a second referendum but you're banned from taking part if you've got a twitter account

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

there's a truly deranged section of society who believe that they should be able to control absolutely everything that happens anywhere near their home and it's time to put them all in jail

Paul Smith

@Paul_SLG

2 years

Meanwhile, in Cheshire.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

5 years

don't know why I even bothered to bring this dishwasher

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

6 years

Can't believe they've already done a book of that meme.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

4 years

It came from space lads

Sky News

@SkyNews

4 years

Scientists think they may be a step closer to understanding where the asteroid or comet that wiped out the dinosaurs came from

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

this all very well but what about my small business which for some reason requires me to drive through school playgrounds at 70 miles an hour

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

my new piece for the guardian has gone live and I'm very excited to read your responses!!!!

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

7 years

how about a film where eleven different winston churchills have to team up to do a heist

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

The police should end crime by simply arresting everyone in the country and sorting it out later.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

6 years

why would you want this

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

5 years

Hope I live long enough to see journalists mocking a potential Labour leader for trying to bring back weekends

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

Actually he has the right to be criticised by a writer at least one rank superior

Alice Jones

@alicevjones

3 years

In which Jed Mercurio unveils the real villain... a tv critic who dared to criticise his work... in 2019. Insane. Great interview by @benallenwf

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

If you're thinking of sending 75 pounds to Nigel Farage to "own" him please consider checking whether it's a good idea to do that - I can tell you for just 50 pounds.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

@JonnElledge Dying of tetanus to own the libs

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

5 years

Cool that the government has bought local radio adverts to tell me that going on holiday is going to get harder because of freedom

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

@aljwhite Oh to see the responses he wrote, deleted, wrote, deleted, wrote, deleted, before writing this one.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

i'm here to say that, no, i don't think my grandparents should host the world cup

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

5 years

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

Funniest part of the Matt Hancock crypto thing is that one of things he where he enthusiastically tells us that crypto must be good because "Every second advert on the tube seems to be for cryptocurrency."

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

If Thanet wants another railway station so much they should stop spending so much on avocados.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

4 years

Don't mind me just treating myself to some delicious spaghetti bolognese

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

When's the buying houses/crypto discourse crossover dropping? "Tom, 24, bought his first house by working every weekend while at university, and never going on holiday or eating out. He was also able to sell an Indecent Chimp inherited from his late grandmother for over £25,000."

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

one of the funniest things businesses do is pay someone tens of thousands of pounds a year to use a computer and then treat 'a computer that works properly' as some kind of perk.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

7 months

@SzMarsupial if i was christ, be nicer to look at fish nets and remember that one cool miracle i did than that bad business with the cross

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

@joncstone no no my elderly grandmother who lives in oxford street needs to drive to the shops

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

4 years

"Has being dead of a coronavirus removed the incentive to work?" - my latest for The Spectator

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

11 months

why is this a government level concern? they going to pass a law about fucking yoyos next?

Gillian Keegan

@GillianKeegan

11 months

We know that mobile phones are a source of distraction and bullying in the classroom Yet, 40% of 14-year-olds report that their lessons were disrupted by phones So today, we’re banning phones in schools The @Conservatives are taking long-term decisions for a brighter future

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

5 years

going to spend thursday distracting old people by posting 'WHO REMEMBERS WHEN YOU WERE ALLOWED YOU TO LICK YOU'RE OWN STAMPS' in every facebook group i can find

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

5 months

If you love the flag so much prove it

How Patriotic Are You?

Demonstrate your patriotism by drawing flag!

edjefferson.com

Esther McVey

@EstherMcVey1

5 months

I’m proud of our national flag - can everyone leave it alone & keep it just as it is. British Airways tried to change it many years ago - what a massive mistake that was just as it is now with our British Olympic Association trying to tamper with it.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

@edmorrish just went into a terrible english bodega called barclays bank ehhh I'm walking ere

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

4 years

sorry everyone i'm the guy that counts the votes in nevada and i keep losing my place and having to start again

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

4 years

cant believe youve all bullied the author of the beloved david saunders series off of twitter. disgusting.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

4 years

post this on your facebook if you remember - fizzy pop in glass bottles walking home from school - no lifts! woolworths opening your soul to the dark one and performing great works in his name, the blood rising around your ankles, praise him, praise him, praise h

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

1 year

Stop telling me they're not actually digging the tunnel under Stonehenge some of us believe in this country's ability to fuck it up anyway

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

this is just wrong, whatever your feelings on this truck's history. they could have installed a plaque to provide historical context.

BBC Radio Bristol

@BBCRB

3 years

Wow - a TV production truck has ended up in #Bristol harbour this morning. 📻 Our reporter is there 👉

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

6 years

quote this tweet with some stupid humblebrag about your career or some tedious bollocks about the industry you work in that no-one else gives a shit about

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

@hansmollman I didn't fight in world war 2 for this

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

3 years

@stepheniscowboy the shrek wiki (which isn't called shrekipedia, very annoying) muses that "He may have had some history with the Fairy Godmother because of [his appearance during a song she sings]."

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

2 years

unlike you guys im very smart so just to let you know the next tory leader will also be bad. just a bit of insight from my massive brain that i thought i should share.

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Ed Jefferson

@edjeff

4 years