emma @do_not_test_me Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@balomay_

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@Zehtttt

@sotwecom

@sukamamakstw

@bokeplokalmalam

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@mina_shokopars2

@nprmusic

@bokeplokalmalam

@McnultySharell

@zjackson1337

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@stw_pdg

@IM4SONICE

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@LiTone529

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@KrisIsThatU

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@bokeplokalmalam

@JeremyforAmeri1

@ijbls11

@volannt

emma

@do_not_test_me

1 month

need to banish the gut reaction i have to everything as ‘i’m in trouble’. phone buzzes, i’m in trouble. someone gets my attention at work, i’m in trouble. its awful being mentally built like a neurotic horse

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emma

@do_not_test_me

8 months

jesus christ

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emma

@do_not_test_me

6 months

you should be allowed to call in sick for work the next day if you’re feeling upset at 4:30pm the day prior

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 year

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYAHA

emma

@do_not_test_me

1 year

happy seven years hot stuff @mr__whocares 🩷

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 years

incredible vibe from this fish and chip place

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emma

@do_not_test_me

10 months

Tahira

@IsitTahira

10 months

Quote with anything from your notes

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 months

mountain lions never not serving DOWN

trailcam

@Trail_Cams

2 months

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emma

@do_not_test_me

26 days

it is particularly perverted when tram cops pounce on high schoolers. like yeah it’s so important to the nation that 15 year old sophie who works 4 hours a week at coles pays this fucking $300 fine you putrid cunts

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emma

@do_not_test_me

5 months

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 month

i do not know what the DNC is and i never want to know, but every time i read the acronym my brain says ‘Democratic Nepublic of Congo’

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 year

my immediate response to this was ‘are you FUCKING with me???’ and then bursting into tears. i am covered in cat hair.

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emma

@do_not_test_me

8 months

@VaRusselracoon GODDDDDDD

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emma

@do_not_test_me

26 days

never have i had more strangers on here tell me to go fuck myself or call me a stupid cunt. sorry my bad for forgetting the cardinal australian rule: be a huge cop

emma

@do_not_test_me

26 days

it is particularly perverted when tram cops pounce on high schoolers. like yeah it’s so important to the nation that 15 year old sophie who works 4 hours a week at coles pays this fucking $300 fine you putrid cunts

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 year

happy seven years hot stuff @mr__whocares 🩷

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 month

@mr__whocares getting taken out the back and shot with a nailgun through the cerebellum

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 month

@clairylights wait you're actually so fucking right i am sick of being so jumpy... get me in the stables

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 months

big day for me

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 month

@Brocklesnitch my adrenal glands are JACKED

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

i'm so sorry to the economy but i don't actually want to get covid ❤️ hope that's okay

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 year

cool and casual new logo here!

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 years

let me speak my truth. the ‘naur’ thing is so annoying not bc it’s wrong we do say ‘no’ in a funny way. but bc that’s the most unreasonable way to spell it and also gives me such a sickening insight into the way americans themselves think things are pronounced

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 years

thanks triple j i’ll also start pissing and shitting less to save the environment

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 month

so mortifying to call in sick to work when you’re excruciatingly mentally ill and cannot face the little emails job. sorry boss i relinquished control to the demons and if i have to stare at a spreadsheet for one more second i will be killing myself in the office kitchen

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emma

@do_not_test_me

11 months

failing to see the point of australia after experiencing a week in tokyo where having fun and enjoying yourself is essentially free, and cigarettes are $4. have you ever experienced eating a hotdog on the balcony of a museum while staring at the imperial palace? i mean good god

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 month

@keyboardtrashJB big horse brain disease i fear :(

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 months

it is nuts to me how mushroom forums are full of people asking ‘found this in my backyard, safe to eat?’ w a pic of the most evil looking fungus you’ve ever seen. are you missing the animal part of your brain that keeps you safe? will i find you cradling a poison dart frog?

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 month

@shookeetz NAUSEATING!

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emma

@do_not_test_me

26 days

@JohnOSullivan36 no, no it’s not setting them up ‘for failure’, public transport should be free, myki cops are fake and should not be respected

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 month

@Egregious_XII yeah.. c’est la vie

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emma

@do_not_test_me

10 months

why is beyoncé getting photos taken on the porch of an east brisbane share house?

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

the severe true detective vibes radiating from this excessively evil fairy floss rental listing…

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

you’ve got this melbourne

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emma

@do_not_test_me

26 days

@lveththrnalone lachlan you have a cop mindset. this is a sickness that can be cured only by you shoving your own head so, so far up your ass

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emma

@do_not_test_me

6 months

hey Nisha great recipe for biscuits. just wondering what you think i should do with all this flour that’s left in the bag? 1 star

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emma

@do_not_test_me

4 months

i’m inventing calling in pathetic to work. not for when you’re sick but just for when you’re feeling fucking pathetic

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 month

@oscpmentor mate i wish!

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

🥂

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

i hate bond cleaning. it makes me feel like a little servant cleaning for a spoilt prince. fuck your skirting boards

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 years

it’s a desert. hope that helps x

Drew Pavlou 🇦🇺🇨🇾🇺🇸🇺🇦🇹🇼

@DrewPavlou

2 years

Can someone explain to me why we can’t green the Australian interior? what is stopping us?

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 months

i bought proper shareware and now i have a waist so you’re all getting this egregious photo sorry

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 years

this is the funniest shite i have seen for a wee minute

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emma

@do_not_test_me

6 months

can’t really begin to describe the day i’m having honestly

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 years

a few nights ago at the bar i was clearing a plate of food from these two ladies but there was still a full slice of cheese on there, i asked if they wanted it, and one of them looks and me and squints and says 'why don't you take that to have out the back'

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emma

@do_not_test_me

5 months

it’s good to be home

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 years

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE CUNTS!!!!!!!!!

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

can we not.. like..... pit tradies against teachers against healthcare workers... this sucks for everyone who isn't a fat cat like get real

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 month

@vileslug i neeeeed more peripheral vision!!!

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 year

yes!

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emma

@do_not_test_me

5 months

look i don’t know but bullying it about cannibalism does quickly result in breaking it

State Library of Queensland

@slqld

6 months

Meet Charlie the Virtual Veteran, an AI-generated soldier produced by State Library to help connect generations with Queensland’s wartime heritage. See history come to life as you chat with Charlie and ask him questions about World War I. Get started:

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 years

do your parents also just not tell you anything. i speak to my mum pretty regularly and i’ll always ask ‘so what’s news?’ and she always says ‘oh nothing new!’ anyway last night my dad was like what do you mean she didn’t tell you she got her gallbladder removed last month

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 months

i genuinely think there is no better feeling in this world than being four wines deep sitting in the passenger seat of a car being driven really fast. that’s bliss. that’s romance. that’s love. that’s glamour

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emma

@do_not_test_me

5 months

okay after the aurora last night i think that if i was subject to that frequently enough i too would go insane and try to get up into it in order to kill god. lord asriel i understand the vision now

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emma

@do_not_test_me

7 months

wow… from public housing to the hague… if you can dream it, be it 🩷

Antoinette Lattouf

@antoinette_news

7 months

BREAKING: Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has been referred to the International Criminal Court as an accessory to genocide in Gaza making him the 1st leader of a Western nation referred to the ICC under Article 15 of the Rome Statute. 100+ Australian lawyers back this move

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 year

@marty_milkman @mr__whocares haha sure! we totally lucked out on this big funny house. this is an older photo from when we’d just moved in :)

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 year

having an out of body experience discovering that Shein has an 'autism collection'

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emma

@do_not_test_me

25 days

okay EVERYONE SHUT UP! thank you to those who, like me, are normal and believe in free public services and defending kids from cops. to everyone else: the pinworms in your brain have completely taken over and there is a moral void in you which will never be filled

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

this is the most demented thing i’ve ever seen

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emma

@do_not_test_me

11 months

hello @Israel @IDF i’ve attached below a photo of a Palestinian hospital full of children

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 year

i now totally understand why people in the UK and stuff go fucking ballistic after soccer games and light flares and set shit on fire. this is nauseating i’m going to go out into the streets and punch on

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 months

good afternoon cretins freaks and loved ones

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emma

@do_not_test_me

8 months

weeping on camera because my fancy son won't get to experience perverted levels of sexual demonology with the boys during his teenage years ensuring he emerges the most munted version of himself possible

9News Sydney

@9NewsSyd

8 months

One of Sydney's oldest boys' schools is going co-ed, leaving some parents furious about what they call the "woke agenda" behind the move. #9News READ:

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 years

evie gets married and is the most beautiful bride to have ever brided and it sends the girlies into a rabid frenzy

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 years

thank you ma'am. oh my golly gosh thank you. for i am but a lowly serf and you ma'am have given me the keys to the kingdom where i may eat your old sweaty cheese in the grease trap and when i think of god i think only of you

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 years

every time i see this on a dyson hand dryer i think it says SLUt and it makes me feel so so insane

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 years

a man and a woman just walked past me and she is YELLING at him ‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUVE NEVER SEEN THE MOVIE. ITS TWO GAY COWBOYS AND ITS VERY VERY SAD’

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

2020: if you do not get a covid test you are a dunce and a dullard and a grimy slag and a fucking leper 2022: if you get a covid test you will be shot in the skull by a government funded sniper while waiting in line

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emma

@do_not_test_me

26 days

@AsFarce swear to god they can SMELL the poorness on you. poor seeking missiles

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emma

@do_not_test_me

6 months

Moon Dog Footscray is shut down for which reason: a) patron is flung off the bucking bull, snaps their neck and dies, building shut down indefinitely b) they didn’t measure the load bearing capacity of the floor and 800 people crash into the earth c) firebombed

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emma

@do_not_test_me

8 months

palestinians have been herded into rafah only to be carpet bombed into dust, while ads play at the #SuperBowl telling you to “shop like a billionaire” on products made through child labour, fuck this shit, fuck this SHIT

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 years

a lady at the bar reading the menu and said ‘$11 for a gin and tonic? that’s very cheap… i wonder why so cheap’ and i was like :) you and i have led very different lives beloved

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emma

@do_not_test_me

15 days

why did he have to spread its lips

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emma

@do_not_test_me

26 days

sorry that you are all so incredibly weak of mind body spirit and soul that you love fining children and enjoy the taste of ticket pig boots

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emma

@do_not_test_me

5 months

@iPad_Latino quite literally decided last minute to work from home today because of exactly this. it's all too much!

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 year

we have to destroy the miserable english. we must crush the rotten chauffeurs of colonialism into a fine dust. a matildas win will spur a divergence from the monarchy. we will be free

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emma

@do_not_test_me

5 months

after i served our landlord with a breach notice we finally got a guy out to look at our fucked bathroom and it turns out that there is no waterproofing below the shower whatsoever and every time we use it we fill the wall and floor with water ❤️

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 months

i would like to shout out the guy i saw the other day just brazenly smoking crack out the front of footscray station at 8:15am for his noted efforts in trying to keep a cap on rental prices in the area. i need you to work harder though brother

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

in one slice of goodness, we got the keys to our new place today which means i can finally show you this - the cherub archway

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emma

@do_not_test_me

8 months

GOT A JOB AS A LAB TECH, IT'S SPREADSHEET TIME BABY!!! I GOT A JOB!!!

emma

@do_not_test_me

9 months

what interviewing employees need to understand is that yes the overwhelming autism i bring to the environment is off-putting but it does in fact make me a very diligent worker

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 year

i’m so hungover. why does my photo from last night have 10k likes so many strangers being so lovely thank you strangers. i need a huge post mix sprite STAT

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emma

@do_not_test_me

10 months

sending myself to an in-patient facility over this photo

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emma

@do_not_test_me

1 month

@Egregious_XII no i know honey thank you though i appreciate you being kindhearted

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

i think we’ve all been through enough at this point that we deserve to bring back both smoking and carrying knives on planes

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emma

@do_not_test_me

8 months

this is so 18 year old girl of him truly. i have done exactly this lying on almost every street corner in brisbane. he just needs a little cigarette. get up barnaby it’s your song next in the karaoke booth!

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

the Ad. i saw The Ad again. once a year i see This Ad

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emma

@do_not_test_me

4 months

okay good

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

if we cannot have a couple of people over for dinner but we can go into the office i am going to cut absolutely sick. i am going to hang from the rafters at parliament house and shriek like a harpy. i do not care for emails. i care for dinners

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

i am absolutely and unequivocally, mary

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emma

@do_not_test_me

11 months

you want to enjoy yourself in melbourne? that’ll be $200 minimum without a coke habit. and for what? a bottle of 7% pet nat served to you by a frail 24 year old who couldn’t care if you live or die? culturally bankrupt country

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

just heard on the news that the job of a lighthouse keeper is becoming redundant due to improvements in technology... i'm going to be fucking sick

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emma

@do_not_test_me

13 days

thank you to the insane lady on etsy who made this dress out of scraps. i owe you my life actually

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

n95 but make it fucking psychotic

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 years

found something evil on my way to get cat food

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

everyone should get a stimulus package if they earn under $110k/pa for the purpose of ‘little treats’. this will be called the ‘treaties for sweeties economy boost’

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emma

@do_not_test_me

25 days

okay everyone please stop fighting in my mentions and calling me a cunt and implying that i get raped and that i never reproduce. i don’t care. i hate cops and i always will. ESPECIALLY ticket pigs. GOOD NIGHT ❤️

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emma

@do_not_test_me

14 days

okay let’s GO

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emma

@do_not_test_me

2 years

had a girl in class just open her presentation by saying “alright i’ve always wanted to say this. i’ve waited years. According to My Dad,” and she really could say that because her dad wrote the dictionary of critical theory

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emma

@do_not_test_me

26 days

catching strays for saying that public transport fake coppers are mangy freaks. shockingly these comments are also coming from mangy freaks? birds of a feather…

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emma

@do_not_test_me

3 years

just rediscovered this ❤️