Halloween name • @discokidnap Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Halloween name •

2 years

As soon as you find out what the beef is, the best course of action is to immediately go quiet when other people ask you what it is.

6

8

35

Last Seen Profiles

@Todoh_windband

@jandakembangstw

@cukienaknikmati

@Mieran16

@stridentTH

@O6l5iJj3nZ7OH6

@zenithdeltus

@IPPR

@bokeplokalmalam

@JeseniaWhyte

@KhatriNasrulla1

@CoachMahin

@arn130917

@eastberksgp

@ThaiMature

@Entretienete

@yuzhyunlod55655

@BinorRaja

@gaho__jin

@SofiaOspinaa

@stwmaniax

@bokeplokalmalam

@stw46

@yukino_yayoi_25

@jandakembangstw

@Pendust43476431

@jandakembangstw

@AkariTsukimiya

@SofiaOspinaa

@TT5745755361375

@NaimaRashid_

@paricha_dqx

@Pendust43476431

@1976Mkha

@AnyhYmnyh40403

@amari59928110

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

5 years

Gavin - Remain Stacey - Leave Nessa - Remain Smithy - Leave Pam - Leave Mick - Remain Bryn - Remain Gwen - Omelette

143

2K

15K

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

5 years

“Check Andrew’s hard drive”

The Mirror

@DailyMirror

5 years

Princess Diana's final words to firefighter who held her hand and tried to save her

44

25

85

6

153

973

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

8 months

@SmoothDunk This is very low-hanging fruit and I am here for it 💯

2

1

910

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

5 years

Ladbible will have their watermark on this by lunchtime tomorrow.

1

258

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

3 years

Liam Gallagher has been on Twitter for 12 years and has only liked 11 tweets. Two of those are his own.

4

12

263

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

2 years

Solidarity? SoliGARYty more like! Send tweet.

3

50

232

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

3 years

Just been in to Sainsbury’s filled up a trolley, took it to customer services and my 93-year-old mother yelled “Which box for out?” Everyone stood up and cheered in Welsh. The butcher said they recognised me from Twitter.

2

22

195

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

8 months

Daily Mail headline: “BBC newsreader DESTROYS spoon paid for by licence fee payers.”

Scott Bryan

@scottygb

8 months

Breaking: Maryam Moshiri ( @BBCMaryam ) just bent a spoon live on BBC News.

71

246

5K

2

17

154

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

2 years

So the joke here is that the first three are gay porn accounts, which people today have implied are shameful, and the fourth is James Corden, who is not a gay porn account. The humour derives from the implication that following Corden is equally (or more) shameful than following

4

1

115

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

5 years

Thomas Cook compoface predictions: * Sad family sitting at Luton who travelled to airport despite being told not to * Retired Leave couple blaming someone else for their choice not to buy travel insurance * Son of an elderly widow who was going on her first holiday since 1963

9

32

108

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

5 years

s/o to Jeremy Corbyn who is sitting down with his family right now to watch the Queen’s Speech.

5

24

107

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

5 years

"Sorry, we accidentally typed up these letters, signed them, and hand-delivered them."

The Scotsman

@TheScotsman

5 years

A hotel business has blamed an "administrative error" after it sacked staff at one of its Scotland properties and left some without accommodation during the coronavirus pandemic.

127

29

72

4

21

93

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

2 years

“I would like to put myself forward for project manager because I have eaten lunch before.” #theapprentice

0

4

91

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

5 years

@sorkinese “Think about the lovely Cathy. Farmer's daughter with a master's degree. Wholesome but maybe not too wholesome. I think she liked you too. How do you know Cathy?” “She's my girlfriend.” “That's great. She's really nice. Is that corn out there?” “Nope.” “What is it?” “Trees.” “K.”

1

0

86

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

3 years

Grand Designs should catch up with the now-adult kids from episodes from 20 years ago to see how their childhoods were warped by their dense parents growing an oak tree through the middle of their bedrooms.

1

8

78

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

4 years

Where were you when Diana died? I was at a good rave, enjoying my favourite techno.

231

7

73

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

4 years

Had to take my iPhone into the Apple Store to get it reset. Guy was very pleasant, even after he opened Safari on my phone and saw a load of pictures of Gail Platt.

3

6

70

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

5 years

Give your free coffee to a homeless person.

Costa Coffee

@CostaCoffee

5 years

📣 It’s free coffee day! 📣 We’re so confident you’ll love our Costa Express coffee, we’re letting you try it for free today! ☕️ What will you be having? #InternationalCoffeeDay T&Cs here;

895

865

3K

3

15

63

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

5 years

@0hmate Doris - Goth The banter lads from History Boys - UKIP

1

0

57

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

5 years

@idlewildgirl @paparoach Would love it if they sued you for stealing their lyrics.

1

0

53

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

1 year

@Andy_Parmo @mnrrntt Take it home and put it in your Chester drawers 😡

3

0

51

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

3 months

Tanskiiiiiii does it again! 🥰

The Guardian

@guardian

3 months

French election 2024 live: exit poll shows shock win for left-green alliance as far right falls to third

268

1K

4K

5

9

51

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

4 years

Wonderful to see ITV2 broadcasting the art house indie noir “The Hot Fuzz” this evening. Would strongly recommend you don’t miss this once-in-a-lifetime chance to see it.

2

5

46

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

6 years

Imagine a bunch of Cuban teenagers wearing T-shirts with stylised John Major prints on them.

2

13

42

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

5 years

SoundCloud are shysters.

2

1

44

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

4 years

@allancgobey @elliehudson44 @SummerRay Similar thing happened to me when I phoned a woman whose surname was Cockburn. Erred on the side of caution and pronounced it Co-bun. “It’s ‘COCK-burn’,” she snapped.

1

0

44

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

5 years

Actually, Mark Francois is the name of the bell.

Sam

@sam_bambs

5 years

Actually, Big Ben is the name of the bell.

8

2

23

2

8

40

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

6 months

Don’t blame libraries.

BBC News (UK)

@BBCNews

6 months

Libraries made me who I am - Caitlin Moran

30

25

73

1

9

41

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

3 years

@wellbuh @MrJonNewton Still, look at the positives. Meadowhall is gone.

1

0

40

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

3 months

@RestIsPolitics Turned off C4 because of one particular panelist. 🍷

6

0

41

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

3 years

Thought this was Fake Showbiz News

The Hill

@thehill

3 years

Cardi B says she's "not really" on NATO or Russia's side amid Ukraine crisis

4K

1K

13K

1

6

39

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

2 years

Sam Ryder has this perpetual air of “just happy to be here”, even though it’s his party. Just a thoroughly nice guy. Hope he doesn’t get milkshake ducked.

0

2

38

Halloween name •

@discokidnap

6 years

Sue and Claire are going to wander into Syria by the third episode and accidentally become ISIS brides. #RaceAcrossTheWorld

2

5

36

Halloween name •

@discokidnap