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1 month

It’s pretty fitting that the new Hunter Schafer movie is called Cuckoo because I’d let her Cuckoold me lol

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Last Seen Profiles

@Sberkyma7

@BybwSwsw32778

@AmNot34864

@AsinioPollione1

@mchoi141

@daily_mrsnake

@gay_vagina

@AlyBinkiew42012

@arahmasadepan96

@villecolmar

@_lind5ey

@r_rikkai

@_glnarayanan

@IceWyte

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@eric_herb

@JBW7785

@Debgibbon2

@JenniferHewitt_

@nina_alston

@UCOFootball

@Meta_Mari_

@Raja29890Arvind

@MavsCityBR

@SnippetPippet

@g_reiggan

@eohuhu

@private_llm

@mariamm28384006

@nappi_fan

@Sadabahar04

@spicyflorr

@OtraCR

@Debra49834243

@CalumRennie

@LatshaRo

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3 years

@blowjobs4meth He’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit

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3 years

Everyone posting #WeLoveYouElon

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7 months

@realwackyguy I’ve said this before but IIRC Biden and Pelosi are both so old that they were born closer to the Lincoln Assassination than they were to the present day

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3 years

@mayaisfiya Date me instead, I’m stupid as hell

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3 years

@thun_derhawk @BudrykZack On a similar note, Dracula was written in 1897. Due to the year it takes place, Count Dracula could’ve theoretically worn Levi’s jeans, consumed coca-cola, and owned a Nintendo product.

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7 months

@TheNerdSpider He’s an android whose body is inhabited by an alien wind god from the planet Rann, can create gale-force tornadoes, has a really striking design, long-standing League member… and has literally never done anything interesting

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3 years

@djinndiesel @HaitianDvorce I also love the inherent racism in believing that a nine(?) year old doesn’t know who the President of the United States is. Exactly how stupid does she think black people are?

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11 months

@EPM106 It’s crazy how the five-year time jump completely destabilized the MCU timeline… but then Covid happened and the real world basically dragged to a standstill so now they’re only ~2 years ahead of us again. It kinda worked out perfectly for them

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4 years

Me when Disney confirms they’re making a third TRON movie but with Jared Leto as the lead role

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3 years

@driptoofresh @0megaNeB Elon Musk and Grimes

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3 years

@G_Rez54 @staticbluebat The idea that Wario has a girlfriend who looks suspiciously like him, and they’re never seen in the same room together, and it’s clearly just Wario in a dress, seems VERY in-character for him.

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2 years

@historicalfits She doesn’t deserve this treatment, let her be hot in peace!

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1 year

@TeslasRock @gaslightyourmom Yeah but you paid $8 for a free website so I assume your entire social circle is like-minded individuals (people who have to put their finger under each word when they read)

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2 months

@calebgamman @realwackygal The thing about the dril conspiracies is that even if he did throw in the towel and pass the account off to a replacement, he’s pretty much the best poster of all time and deserves to walk off into the sunset as he sees fit

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2 years

@alexjallot @swolecialism I think a few times I’ve accidentally seen his real name on here, and every time my brain blocks the memory so I can continue to pretend he’s a morbidly obese Jack Nicholson lookalike whose twitter is autobiographical

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2 years

@teeth12345

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3 years

@sayer_of_stuff @BudrykZack I feel like I’m at this point with studying history, like I know a decent amount about individual eras/civilizations, but figuring out which ones were occurring simultaneously is mixing me up. Does that make sense?

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26 days

@bornposting Counterpoint: I’m glad that they went with the Russos instead of Raimi. Shooting Infinity War and Endgame back-to-back was so detrimental to the Russos’ health that they had to get blood transfusions, I wouldn’t wish that on Raimi.

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2 years

@anxiousdeluxe @Srirachachau Her Slovenian Christmas hellscapes are unironically the most interesting and memorable thing a First Lady has done in my lifetime

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3 years

@Metalyger @GrahamB47 How funny would it be if another objectively better streaming service pops up out of nowhere and completely overtakes Netflix like they overtook Blockbuster

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2 years

@douglasFuck @jack_meditates2 Dude had such insane amounts of OCD he accidentally achieved Nirvana. Incredible.

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2 years

@Chinchillazllla @EclecticHams @ExileGrimm King shit tbh

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3 years

@zdubsman @thun_derhawk @BudrykZack Count Dracula greeting Jonathan Harker for the first time (1897, colorized)

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1 year

@osamabishounen Basically all online pagan stuff is lame and cringe but one time I saw a Thor worshipper post “Your god was nailed to a cross. My god is the one holding a hammer.” And it’s like okay that one actually goes pretty hard

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5 months

@KrisWolfheart Not the IP holder but Ken Levine openly despises BioShock 2 despite (or maybe because) it’s better written than any of the BioShock stuff he’s made

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9 months

@yugiohmachinim2 He don’t got internet

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1 year

@boygrrI Least ableist autism warrior parent

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3 years

@SeanRMoorhead On a similar note, reading Chinese history sometimes feels like “the Battle of White Lotus Hill occurred after a dispute between two local farmers who managed to conscript local armies to fight on their behalf. The total death toll was 18.5 million”

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9 months

@NadineQueer IIRC when he was writing the comic, Bryan Lee O’Malley realized he’d made Todd too powerful and was struggling to think of a way Scott could beat him, he asked another writer for advice and the guy shrugged and went “I dunno, what if vegan police showed up and arrested him?”

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3 years

@cparker1911 @NILES100 @Sethrogen When you really stop and think about it, the amount of actors who wouldn’t have careers if they weren’t white is staggering. Adam DeVine, Charlie Hunnam, Garret Hedlund. I refer to these as “Just Some Guy” actors.

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3 months

@pugmane Him immediately deleting it when someone called out the endless passes he’d give to Franco’s behavior on the set of Freaks and Geeks was the perfect denouement

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3 years

@rachelkiley Somehow Peacock always manages to slip under the radar when people are debating which streaming service is the worst

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3 years

@FistSteakface @DoctorPissPants I don’t know a single man who can pick a good suit for themselves, this is probably giving Elliot gender euphoria and I’m happy for him :)

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2 years

@Bluegatito11 @guidebythelight After hearing about his audition process for Megan Fox I don’t think it’s controversial to say Michael Bay is attracted to minors

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9 months

@RaceplayShawty Arkham Knight came out almost nine years ago now and it’s crazy how much worse this looks, both in art direction and graphics

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2 years

@DavidArgonaut @Nick_Newman Also, he’s insanely knowledgeable about movies and he’s apparently beaten Quentin Tarantino and Edgar Wright in movie trivia contests. 100% believer this was just Bill Hader fucking with him.

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3 years

@tobaccoroth @Madison65453173 @postingtwink @DempMcgee “We can’t have fast and efficient public transportation because some sociopath in a boardroom can’t make money off of it”

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3 years

@stardewlegend Disappointed that he didn’t include a video of him staring directly into the camera eating cereal 😔

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3 years

@TheEpicDept It rules that the Godzilla fandom continues to follow the exploits of a radioactive lizard even though only like 20% of the movies are any good.

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2 years

@WhitmerThomas “Wanda suffered trauma because her intangible sybian husband got scrapped by the government” Yeah that’s a real bummer. Call me when she gets locked in a limo and has a suitcase full of bees dumped in through the sunroof.

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3 years

@FowlCurtis @Glasgow_Growth @piixietit2 Never forget that the Victims of Communism’s official death toll includes nazi soldiers killed in WWII. They’re mourning and memorializing actual fascists in the name of “owning commies”

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2 years

@Camween @HelloCullen The fucking six-episode Moon Knight show won more Emmys than the entirety of Better Call Saul. At that point you just have to take the Emmys board out to the clearing and tell them to look at the flowers.

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9 months

@peachhpunchh According to my godfather the Hebrew word for “carpenter” is the same as the word for “home builder”, but since the homes in Jerusalem were made out of stone or brick Jesus and Joseph likely would’ve been masons. He maintains that it’s probably a mistranslation but idk

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2 years

@DannyVegito This is the best way I can describe my reaction to reading Watchmen for the first time

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3 months

@SolaceCinema End child marriage 💔

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7 months

@TurmShrub My parents watched me play Death Stranding after it came out, any time they asked too many questions about the lore or complained about my playstyle I would just start shaking BB as hard as possible because it made them upset

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2 years

@mollyw_123 Me every time I hear the name Derpina

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3 years

@metalD00M @WashedUpTweeter @willmenaker At this point in my life, if I spent five years in jail the first thing I’d want to know once I got out is whether Cumtown is still on

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5 months

@GunnerDobbins I think the reason Colossus works so well in Deadpool is that, while the characters make fun of him in-universe, you can tell the people actually making the movie fucking ADORE him.

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3 years

@benjamintormey @wyatt_privilege The only way to guarantee that a Musk product won’t spontaneously combust is if it’s specifically designed to.

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7 months

@oneandonlyVivia @TheNerdSpider The Captain Atom thing pains me. You could tell so many stories about a supersoldier taken advantage of by the government as an anti-Superman contingency, but every CA story is either “What if he developed god-like powers” or “What if he fucking exploded”

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3 years

@maximrutter @Pollos_Hernandy If this movie gives me nothing else, it’d be nice to see the Superior suit in live-action.

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1 year

@WIFEMODER The morning after I did acid for the first time, I was going through my phone to see if I had done anything weird and there was some random number that I had called ~80 times between the hours of 1-3 AM. Still no idea who it was, or if it was even a real number

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9 months

@RaceplayShawty It’s interesting that they immediately invented a fake Pacific nation ground war to explain all of the Vietnam-based characters, but didn’t do the same for a communist nation. Why was Reed doing a second red scare space race in like 2002.

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3 years

@KtheEphemeral @AdsoOfBelk Acting masculine =/= looking masculine. Someone can be like 6’6” and built like a Greek god and still enjoy ABBA, just like there can be underweight chinless dudes who fix cars, drink beer, and objectify women.

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1 year

@NxtDeterio Their hair is too healthy, every homeschooling liberal parent I know is on some kind of bizarre diet that makes their hair incredibly thin and lifeless

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2 years

@BudrykZack A while ago I came up with “Polesmoke H. Ivy” as the name Rowling would give a gay wizard and it still makes me laugh

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2 months

@StebMcDreb This is just what sex is like when you’re both switches

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9 months

@Picklemaddierix Peele has said in later interviews that people telling him they saw Get Out [x] number of times has replaced telling him about voting for Obama, but serves the same purpose

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9 months

@transjewtalian @praxisvoid Damn I didn’t even know about half of these. Dude’s evil knew no bounds

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8 months

@pinkopog Yeah like it sounds alarmist but I’ve been thinking about this daily for years now and I’m not sure how to really deal with the existence of “perfect digital and audio simulacrum” thatin a way that doesn’t necessitate a Butlerian Jihad of some sort

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2 years

@marisatomay @Srirachachau I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it’s something as straightforward as “Tom Cruise loves the movies and detests clueless studio executives throwing their weight around and impeding the director’s vision”

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1 year

@NoelFritsch @FirstHealth I mean this as straightforwardly as possible: you’re just a terrible father

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7 months

@doulbedoink I’ve met 36 year olds in trade jobs who still believe this

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2 years

@Java_jigga It’s also funny how Nick and Stav spent like 4+ years talking about all the reasons he was bad at stand-up, sometimes to his face, and he still does the exact same hack shit like breaking into song the second he doesn’t get a laugh

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1 year

@NewSovietPoster The best way to describe that era: you know how Trump will occasionally do that thing where he implies he’s gonna say a slur to hype his audience up? That was Hillary Clinton with birtherism for like three straight years

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1 year

@ComicsMeta Homelander fans are so funny. Dude could be taken out by, like, Alan Scott or Blockbuster. The very definition of “big fish, small pond”

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1 year

@halomancer1 Another one for my collection

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19 days

@StevenWallaby That was actually my first-ever exposure to Alex Jones. Eric giving him his hotel key and begging him to fuck his wife still makes me scream laugh if I think about it too hard

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1 year

@AnneComics So does Mark Waid refuse to acknowledge him as anything but Captain Marvel? I respect it, honestly.

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3 years

@BoomShakaLaka18 Well I didn’t force a bunch of child slaves to mine cobalt for cars that spontaneously combust, so I think I’m off to a pretty good start. I also paid taxes this year, which is more than I can say for someone who was once the richest man in the world.

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4 years

@steroidsliker @MorganZegers Ronald Reagan in hell, waiting for the Heaven to trickle down to him

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29 days

@skylarkifvt The worst high of my life was when my white woman friend suggested we get high by doing “moon rocks” (nugs mixed with pure THC resin, apparently) out of a gravity bong. She was fine, I spent the next 30 hours hallucinating and vomiting so hard it gave me ongoing acid reflux

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2 months

@lily_lxndr I’d just lift up the pinky hehe

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3 years

@FluffyCommie94 @Adrianabeate I mean he also killed a bunch of middle eastern (I want to say Libyan?) kids with drones too

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5 months

@NandovMovies I was gonna say, no strong feelings about this game either way but putting in Galacta definitely caught my attention

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3 months

@GentleDoofus I love how Sage’s brilliant plan is an extremely straightforward false flag that’s immediately disproven by someone she fails to identify as the mole. World’s smartest person, everybody!

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2 years

@smoking_crab I literally opened twitter to post this opening line I used on Hinge, and this was the first post I saw. What a wacky coincidence

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2 years

@RoaminBison @emilydolhansky The scale of wildlife in pre-colonization North America feels downright alien. Apparently some rivers used to be so full of fish that you could practically walk across. Hyperbolic, to be sure, but when’s the last time you even *saw* a fish in a river?

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3 years

@UmbrellixAD @rather_retarded @superashbro86 @garfgf @shaun_vids Clitoris?

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2 years

@bottrill As a male victim of domestic violence I now have to passively wonder if my abuser is going to try to sue me over an old instagram post or something. Fucking sickening to watch people celebrate this.

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3 years

@cannibality @emilyrauhala @evadou Amerifats will see one meal without corn syrup in it and declare a famine

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3 years

@NexusSomnia @MexAnarcho I had no idea but this rules

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1 year

@MeganBitchell banger

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4 months

@goofxist I remember buying into the hype and playing the first one last year. Was really surprised to find out that the game sold to me as a gripping cat-and-mouse fight against robotic megafauna boiled down to “Shoot the glowing weak spot” and rock-paper-scissors elemental effects.

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8 months

@caroline_oreo Hunter Schafer being from North Carolina is one of the only things about her I can’t quite square. I feel like she had to have born in an ivory tower with a swan serving as the midwife, like a Greek myth or something

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2 years

@DavidApong @Vidor1 @EricMGarcia Reminds me of how there were four future presidents in Dallas on the day Kennedy was assassinated

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3 years

@Loki1001 @Shatners_Ghost @BudrykZack Didn’t Lee Pace already unfollow him on all social media after it was revealed that Pratt attended a megachurch that did conversion therapies?

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2 years

@camerobradford The other day I was watching a Sasha Grey video from like ten years ago and she says the hard r N-word with very little provocation. Really detrimental to my experience tbh

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1 year

@eyy_toni I unironically believe Spider-Man should have a Nightwing-tier ass. 1. He’s a gymnast 2. Spiders have fat asses (or thoraxes or whatever) in nature. It’s SCIENCE. 3. It would be funny if he’s more caked up than his wife, one of the hottest women in the Marvel universe

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2 years

@Isaac_Dawley @elivalley There was actually a lot of staff turnover during the Obama days because they kept gouging their eyes out every time they put on new socks

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2 years

@Yotakuboi My all-time favorite Mjǫllnir design is from Hellboy: Bones of Giants. Strikes a nice balance between distinctive and brutalist. Like yeah, this is the finest weapon of the strongest god, but it was still made in the Iron Age.

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1 year

@RedLReviews Tbf Eternals came out like three years ago and for all its faults the Makkari speed scenes are awesome

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1 year

@westernunion2k As someone who pretty much exclusively drinks boxed pink moscato, I had no idea there was a whole community of penny pinching problem drinkers out there

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8 months

@okimstillhungry I can’t decide which is funnier: Nick weeping with laughter as he pretends to be a retarded girl to catch a sex pest, or if he wrote all of this out with the same blank disinterest he brings to TAFS

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4 months

@soonrightaway I know exactly where he’s coming from

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5 months

Found out my wife was on the cover of British GQ and spent $50+ on multiple copies to support her 😌

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1 year

@LolOverruled When I had my first court date after being arrested, my arresting officer said that he arrived on the scene while the incident was actively taking place, when in actuality he had shown up about 15 minutes after everything was over. Just an insane, indefensible lie

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2 years

@BrndnStrssng Love him and his little glasses. They look like they’re stretched so far apart that they’re about to fly off his face, that’s movie magic

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1 year

@shack_diesel Lmao a few months ago my dad texted me unprompted saying “Didn’t you listen to some kind of Cum City podcast? They’re saying one of them caused Taylor Swift to break up with her boyfriend” like dad how did you ever come across this information

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2 months

@impi3tas Idk if, how, or why they’d ever use Power Girl in the DCEU. But if they do, Sasha deserves the part

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