Dams. @damisiabijo Twitter profile

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

7 years

Don't let those ideas die in your head.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

10 months

If you’re reading this, it’s too late.

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@damisiabijo

1 year

LOL. It doesn’t get more performative than this because there’s nothing this babe is bringing to the table other than optics.

YabaLeftOnline

@yabaleftonline

1 year

Tinubu appoints Orire Agbaje, a 400L Economics student, as a member of the Presidential Committee on Fiscal Policy and Tax Reforms.

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@damisiabijo

4 years

Dear Nigerian law firms, if you can’t pay at least 100k monthly to your junior associates, please don’t give yourselves English names.

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@damisiabijo

3 years

Some of you will move to Canada on Express Entry, get your citizenship, after five years, then start voting for conservative policies like anti Express Entry. Wèrè ni many of you.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

5 years

That a babe curved you because you’re broke doesn’t mean you’ll make it in life sha. You may not make it.

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@damisiabijo

5 years

‘Why are you traveling abroad to become a second class citizen?’ God’s speed first class citizen. Kiss, e go be.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

5 years

Relocating from Nigeria isn’t an automatic upgrade. Have a strategy.

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@damisiabijo

6 years

I knew Nigerian adults weren’t that smart when I got beaten for getting to school late while in primary school.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

Love, unlike a secured payment system, doesn’t need a two way authentication procedure.

JJ. Omojuwa

@Omojuwa

4 years

How can you even be in love with someone that hasn’t even agreed to be with you? I don’t understand these things.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

You moved to the West in search of greener pastures but you’re mad at the Hausa man that moved to Lagos for economic reasons. Why do you think they should go back to the North? They might be BH instruments. But when the white man says the same about you, you want to fight. 🤡

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@damisiabijo

10 months

LOL. RCCG that couldn’t stand with Nigerian youths when the government was killing them even though their pastor was the VP. If you don’t gedifok.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

There’s always a better opportunity for those that want to keep looking.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

8 years

Me: Mom, do you watch Game Of Thrones? Nigerian mom: You better get serious and focus on the throne of grace.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

You go go interview. Partner: Why do you want to work with Bourgeoisie & Dapper? Young Counsel: Speaks all the English. P: How much do you think we should start with? YC: 150 thousand sir. P: We can’t pay more than 50k. Price man like pepper. Àwon akóshìbérò.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

It’s actually more difficult for anyone abroad to give you $1300 sha. Converting the money doesn’t diminish its value.

JJ. Omojuwa

@Omojuwa

4 years

N500k is about $1300. Your first step towards seeing Naira is to convert it to currencies that humble it. That way you don’t see N500k and start screaming “it’s not possible!”.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

7 years

Lagos state to train 1000 teenagers coding while Kano state is sponsoring 1520 marriages to stem adultery. Progress is a choice.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

People saying they lost respect for Fashola after this incident are funny. You mean you still respected him after he said he built a website for 70 million naira? Lmao.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

2 years

This time four years ago, Mr Osinbajo was going from pillar to post to share 5k that was obviously to entice people to re-elect a failed government but many of you rationalized that ridiculous action because the VP is a ‘good’ man whose hands are tied.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

5 years

On to the next.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

Of which that 50k sef na after confirmation o. Talmabout 6 months on probation with a salary of 35 thousand. If you don’t gedifok.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

Nigerian politicians relying on state funds to survive but telling citizens to be self reliant is one of the most basic ironies we have.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

5 years

Dr Boniface and the cold room experience. Nigga still had the guts to tell her he’ll report to her mum if she didn’t come back. There’s only one undertone; your mum will believe me (especially because I’m a pastor).

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

@Ms_Ojo If your mum told you of this same scenario happening with you when you were a kid, I’ll totally believe it.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

5 years

Killertunes has given us beautiful tunes this year.

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@damisiabijo

4 years

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

3 years

I didn’t know there were that many Nigerians in Rhode Island till @Olamide ’s show.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

10 months

This Bola Tinubu certificate drama just shows you how stupidity isn’t ethnic inclined because if Northerners were the ones defending a Northern candidate over something of this nature, some people would have tagged it an effect of illiteracy in the region.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

That spousal homicide is a common occurrence doesn’t make it right for me to come on national TV to say my wife may kill me so we don’t sleep in the same room. Even in applying logic, extra logic is needed.

A. Onafuye

@FunkeOnafuye

4 years

When that woman said she was insecure about her husband bathing their daughters, people called her names. You’d think fathers raping daughters doesn’t make the news more frequently than we like to admit.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

5 years

“but if na game, which kain level be this?” Mayorkun’s lines too cheesy.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

9 months

@Jollz @melli_lla Lmao. I keep saying overly religious people are a red flag and this documentary is another testament to that.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

3 years

Interviewer: What do you plan to do about the increasing debt profile? Bubu: My baby bad, my baby good, my baby all the things I need.

Mark Amaza

@amasonic

3 years

Buhari is quite entertaining in this interview. One question is asked, a totally tangential answer is given.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

10 months

Like someone mentioned earlier, any country that has a more populated media team than an economic team especially when such is in a dire economic state doesn’t have anything to offer outside propaganda.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

2 years

Also, information about your vulnerability is leverage for some people. With it, they gauge what pedestal they put you on and know how to relate with you.

TONI TONE

@t0nit0ne

2 years

Sometimes people ask you to open up so they can get a front row seat to your trauma. They don’t actually care about helping you or consoling you. They just want to know what you’ve been through so they can feel better about their own life, from seeing the worst parts of yours.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

This Eromz case is so funny. The Nigerian government wasting insufficient resources to prove an irrelevant case against a citizen who has only asked to be treated better by a government elected into power. Or who is bankrolling these flights?

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

None of all those candidates running for NBA presidency can help with remuneration increase. Only your employer and a better economy can do that.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

7 years

Secretary: Oga asked if you were the one that came for your interview in a Uber. I said yes and he said you should go cos we can't pay you.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

6 years

Vibe. 🔥

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

5 years

It’s wild to say that Atiku should take the blame of the 1999 to 2007 in which he was the Vice President and still say we shouldn’t blame Osinbajo for any mess ups of this admin because he can’t do anything as the vice. Can you people listen to yourselves at all?

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

1 year

I believe Burna should have a live album compilation of his best performed songs. Can’t listen to Way Too Big without thinking about that guitar rendition.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

1 year

Focusing on the kids while enabling and excusing the excesses and ridiculousness of the ruling class will result in the same outcome; failure. You can’t cherry-pick what part of an ecosystem to fix. You’ll be doing close to nothing.

Neto

@docneto

1 year

Agree with Iyin that the focus should be on kids aged 7 - 17. In fact, we should go earlier and focus on their nutrition and early education. The Jesuits say, "Give me the child for the first seven years and I will give you the man"

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

6 years

Dremo has one of the best Nigerian projects this year though.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

6 years

ADIDAS is from the founder’s name Adi Dassler you punk.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

3 years

When you have tweets like this from @Dayo_AFC , you’ll know this country has a long way to go. What’s the meaning of ‘apart from the US drug trafficking case’?

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

1 year

Y’all that try to repackage this man deserve whatever the government is making you go through. A human rights professor having a piece to repackage the number two man in the most human rights abusive government is not what I planned to start this week with.

METROWATCH

@metrowatchng

1 year

OPINION | Yemi Osinbajo — an oasis in Buhari’s misadventure, By Chidi Odinkalu

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

5 years

If they hit you once, they’ll hit you again.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

3 years

Got that early ticket for @Olamide ’s Carpe Diem tour in MD. I don’t have time for explanations on why I missed out on such a madness.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

7 years

When the ASUU news broke this morning, the most popular reaction would have been "thank God I'm thru from school" and that's a big problem.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

5 years

‘Nobody owes you anything’ is the ungrateful’s ‘hack’. No one got it done without help from people and the least you can do is to reciprocate favors.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

6 years

This Onyeoma will shutdown the East till Christmas. Hitmakers.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

If you’re a lawyer with 5 years post call maximum experience and you can afford a car and a nice apartment, you’re an exception to the general rule and you should always remember this.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

😎

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

10 months

@iamstanlee This rule is for the masses. 😂

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

This SARS issue is one of the reasons why I don’t applaud any ‘progress’ made by this administration. It’s like a CGPA for me. I won’t overlook that F you had in security because of a B you got in economy. You’re still a failure.

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@damisiabijo

4 years

Some of the student pastors grow into full time sexual predators because they’ve understood what influence religion holds over the vulnerable lot and by the time they are fully grown, they would have mastered their manipulation skills.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

If you notice that your girlfriend or wife is destined to be very successful, you should thank your stars and support her career because it’s a win for both of you. Don’t allow toxic masculinity prescribe doom for you and yours.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

5 years

I gave up as a litigation lawyer in Nigeria when I rushed to the CP’s office to apply for the bail of my client that had been detained all weekend, only to get there with my client smoking weed and drinking Jack Daniels with the policemen.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

I’m not even kidding, if I was one of Fashola’s colleagues during that inspection, I would have burst into laughter and slapped him after that discovery.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

For social studies quiz class.

Rotimi Ibitoye

@Timi_Toye

4 years

What exactly is the function of the African Union?

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

2 years

If you didn’t happen to yourself, you’ll deliver transcripts on time.

Great IFE

@TheGreatestIFE

2 years

If Nigeria didn't happen to OAU, We would have an Airport on Campus according to the plan. #OAUTwitter

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

7 years

Orji Uzor Kalu - PDP governor of Abia state 1999 - 2007. Can you see that you're mad if you still think our problem is a PDP/APC thing?

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

5 years

On the thread of the guy who ‘disrespected’ a Nigerian adult on a flight. I don’t see the disrespect in that. Being older doesn’t make you incorrigible and being young doesn’t make one a stooge. If you occupy my seat on a plane and act like it’s your right, I’ll drag you.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

And before we forget, the Speaker of the Lagos State House of Assembly has a number of criminal allegations against him which has been ignored like a failed startup. Same man that impersonated being a lawyer.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

Lmaooo. Omo, na to post everything o. Throwback to last summer in Vegas with another African tourist.

Wine Papii

@Okunrin_metaa

4 years

Please when you go on vacation with your bae try to take pictures of you alone oh. So IF everything dabaru you can still have pictures of you alone to post when people ask questions like “post a picture of you in Dubai” 😭😭 A word is enough for the wise.

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@damisiabijo

5 years

I shouldn’t get riled up by Nigerian law firms today. I just shouldn’t. Young men and women start at these firms with so much optimism and really put in the work only to find out the effort and rewards aren’t commensurate. They decide to jump ship and partner gets vindictive.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

It’s too early to get into the remuneration madness of the Nigerian legal profession now. When all you can brag about is how wealthy your boss is, then there’s a problem you’re ignoring.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

The people using Abba’s burial mess to call for the cleansing of Funke Akindele are just a glimpse into how many Nigerians think. “I shouldn’t face sentence for stealing because you also stole.” What happened to both of you being in jail?

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

9 months

Happy Thanksgiving. 🍁🦃

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@damisiabijo

2 years

NNPC is the longest running profitable Nigerian scam. This is just another chapter of the scheme.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

2 years

Lagos away from Lagos.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

3 years

Olumide Akpata looks like the most active NBA president I’ve experienced. Maybe youth actually worked this time. Let’s keep it that way.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

6 years

Fashola insisted they won’t be allowed to use their new 30,000 capacity church till they built car parks to accommodate their cars, considering the location of the church. Neighbors were offered dollars to give up possession. The rest is history. It’s not about endless RTs

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

6 years

That’s how people will vote for Buhari without reason. Unfortunate

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

5 years

For those saying John Wick 3 is just action and no plots; that’s what we expected. ACTION. If you want plots, go to Lekki/Epe expressway.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

5 years

I once walked from Jolly Hostel to road 11 in quarters around midnight. It was that safe.

Tales and Adventures of

@AbbyFamous

5 years

O jewa ke eng: Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU) version 🤔

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

5 years

@icetobi That’s a Nollywood script. They always get money at the end while the girls suffer. Why can’t both of them have money?

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

10 months

Lmao. How much is the whole club worth?

TENIOLA

@TeniolaYBNL

10 months

Asake spent 1B in the club yesterday 🚀

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

5 years

Thanks for the wishes. “Thirty.” by @damisiabijo

Thirty.

PS: This is a soft landing for those struggling to find a life path.

link.medium.com

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

3 years

GTBank: So how do you plan to offset this loan? D’banj: Tongolo.

Vanguard Newspapers

@vanguardngrnews

3 years

D’banj advocates use of intellectual property as collateral for bank loans

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

Even when the world was more stable, Bubu didn’t work. It’s now that things have gotten crazy that he’s working at night. Ę ti ya wèrè.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

“Happy Thanksgiving bro, anything for the boys?”

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

The Hong Kong protests wouldn’t have lasted so long and had that effect if the protesters were playing games and consuming alcohol at the protest grounds. The world is watching and we need to show our seriousness to this cause. #EndSARS #EndSWAT #EndPoliceBrutalityinNigeria

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

2020 in four pictures. 😎

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

1 year

This leeway that people get in the name of being older is just BS. The only reason why Mrs MIL felt it was okay to give the first slap was because she felt immune to consequences. Variant of unaccountability that has kept us in these trenches.

Ibrahim Kazeem Content writer and SMM

@peng_writer

1 year

How can you even slap your mother in law on your wedding day? Please don't even mention why would the MIL slapped her first. It's wrong but what if her mother slapped her? Would she have returned it? I love that the husband initiated divorce proceedings immediately. Aani dàmu.

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@damisiabijo

5 years

Because science is yet to prove that potential can feed kids.

YoursTruly ♠️

@L0ne_Surviv0r_

5 years

Why does every Nigerian guys wanna have money before having kids ?

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

8 years

Natural history museum. Obafemi Awolowo University, Ife.

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

1 year

The earlier you understand it’s a personal journey, the better. If you like, take japa advice from people with multiple passports, na your body go tell you. Like @DipoAW addressed in one of those tweets, ‘home’ (Nigeria) isn’t necessarily better for some people.

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@damisiabijo

6 years

Tbh, my parents and whoever was part of my upbringing raised me so well. Anything wrong you can observe in me is self made.

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@damisiabijo

2 years

Nobody get date ideas pass sapa Twitter sha. Make a reservation. Send a car. Order a gown. Order bone straight.

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@damisiabijo

5 years

I don’t think this is the time to blame Lord Lugard for joining the protectorates. We’ve been independent for sixty years, with only ‘good old days’ and potential to show for it. Ask yourselves. How have your Southern legislators been better than their Northern counterparts?

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@damisiabijo

4 years

I published.

SARS: A national reflection.

As the hashtags took over social media once again, Twitter especially, many questions resurfaced. This is not the first time we are having…

link.medium.com

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

Yesterday night at the Nigerian embassy in Washington DC, we had a vigil for the ones we’ve lost to police brutality, the #LekkiMassaccre especially. #EndSARS

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Dams.

@damisiabijo

4 years

20.10.20 🇳🇬 #EndSARS

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@damisiabijo

4 years

With the way local media reacted to the protests, you can imagine how falsified the news they give us on a regular are. For every headline that paints the government in bad light, it’s way worse than they report.

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@damisiabijo

6 years

Client: You can’t take 250k for this work. I know someone that did even more for 70k. Me: Did you lose the person’s contact?

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@damisiabijo

5 years

Nigerian youths still debating if Yahoo is fraud or not. LOL. This our development path dey on anti progressive steroids.

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@damisiabijo

1 year

It’s interesting to see that we now sound more like the people we challenged as we get older. “Forget about money. Experience is what you need.”

Foza Billions (The Oracle)

@fozadoza

1 year

Why do interns feel obligated to getting paid? Lol

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@damisiabijo

2 years

You don’t have to antagonize every post that doesn’t buy into how you see things. Ozzy’s tweet didn’t have your name and you weren’t at the gathering so you can’t invalidate that setting. Get yourself together.

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@damisiabijo

4 years

I remember how my mum, without prior notice, sent me to the mountain with a pastor for three days as I waited at home for university admission. The education system was obviously flawed but she would rather attribute it to demons.

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