Mike @da5705 Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@CoachPilarski

@stw_pdg

@Enak83242935

@its_christian_3

@evligiz60125833

@Ingvild_Lakou

@fairyprncs34840

@ShauntheLeafeon

@DVillefort

@piso5628

@FarhadMilan_

@phanattic13

@penikmatt_ibu

@0odluv

@pistnchio

@stw_pdg

@WynkMusic

@mossiy2552

@PICES_MarineSci

@whelyive

@LEsteen

@stw46

@Rambo679

@bokeplokalmalam

@MratyMty18204

@stw46

@TaSa74774927

@CarinaDadism

@atalay25_16

@mowla114

@AquariusGvrls

@TulipeR211

@naklsonofnakkl

@JsBtncr

@AnaMariCabello1

@SekiroSaures

Mike

@da5705

3 months

Imagine going into a German take away, looking at the currywurst, gyros, halbe hahnchen, frikadellen and doner mit alles and deciding to go for fucking cheesy chips instead FFS.

Stevie🇻🇦

@Stevie67_

3 months

Canny beat chips n cheese😂😂😂 Frankfurt is a dump

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Mike

@da5705

5 years

Fabinho facing Messi on a yellow card just put in one of the greatest individual performances ever. What a fucking player he is. Absolutely world class. Shut down the best player ever.

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Mike

@da5705

3 years

Absolutely disgusting that the big clubs in Europe are trying to undermine the pure sporting morals of the Gazprom Champions League sponsored by Mastercard.

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

Everyone taking the piss out of Man City but those players are still dealing with the after effects of their bus driving through the first ten minutes of Saving Private Ryan on the way to Anfield last season. Have some respect for their mental strength to even play again.

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

Juventus have been confident of signing Can by Friday since about fucking November. Either do it or shut the fuck up you stripy nonces.

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Mike

@da5705

1 year

@fesshole You had to club together for four quid? Do you work in a mill in 1886?

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Mike

@da5705

7 years

@sncerelybae Lemar, Keita and a top class goalie in January

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Mike

@da5705

3 years

@Mike_Fabricant So you're confirming repeated criminals offences so numerous that the police would be overwhelmed investigating them?

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Mike

@da5705

3 years

Liverpool have won more European Cup games in the last six weeks than the Ev have in their entire 149 year history. They're left having to celebrate things like this because they've been condemned to a lifetime of misery with their own club.

EFCFletch

@fletch2505

3 years

Robertson giving it the big I am stare before getting wiped out 😂😂

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Mike

@da5705

3 months

No idea why so many people are interested in some fat cunt's opinion on some fella's take away order but I really hope the Scottish lad has a lovely time in Germany even if he's missing out on the kebab shop front.

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

Six suicides in a week If you're struggling, speak to your CofC, the MO, Welfare, the WRVS or the Padre. If you're out speak to the Legion, H4H, Combat Stress, your doctor or the Samaritans Whoever it is, for fuck sake just speak to someone

Tragic Scottish soldier is 6th armed forces hero to take his life in just 8 days

Former corporal Ryan “Smudge” Smith is the latest victim of a suicide epidemic sweeping the forces community.

www.dailyrecord.co.uk

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Mike

@da5705

1 month

An actual sitting MP, @Nigel_Farage , admitting he gets his information from fake news sites, Russian telly and a sex offender. Well done again to the people of Clacton, you absolute fucking morons.

Stuzi 🐝🐝

@stuzi_pants

1 month

Watch thunderspiv Nigel Farage squirm his way through the unavoidable truth that he spread misinformation regarding the Southport killer based on a fake news website, Russian backed bot accounts, and alleged sex trafficker Andrew Tate Shameful

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Mike

@da5705

4 years

It's 2020 and people still haven't realised that if you take the piss out of Hillsborough then Scouse twitter will track your entire family down online, destroy their businesses and send prossies and Lilt to your ma's house.

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Mike

@da5705

2 years

@AvAmericanX @Marty_Shannon @DonaldJTrumpJr Are you bankrupt because you went to the doctor with a cold yet?

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Mike

@da5705

5 years

Imagine being from Burnley and spending your whole visit to the First World singing about poverty before going home to your wife who has rickets

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

Egyptian doctor confident that Salah's injury isn't serious and he'll make the World Cup

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

It's quite sweet watching City fans trying to convince themselves they have a rivalry with Liverpool. We already have a small team that play in blue to be rivals with lads and they've won more than you too.

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Mike

@da5705

5 years

Good of him to take time out from his sport that involves dozens of airliners flying cars and trucks all around the globe twenty odd times a year to drive a load of cars really, really quickly in circles to lecture people about the environment. Cunt.

Sky News

@SkyNews

5 years

Lewis Hamilton says vegan diet 'only way to save our planet'

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Mike

@da5705

3 months

@stu3610 German on the piss food is absolutely top tier scran 👌

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

@aidywilkey @rajheskey @YourMCFC Done that 18 time mate. You're still behind Villa and Sunderland

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

@JCollettCFC He wants to get away from racism mate...

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Mike

@da5705

1 year

He's getting millions of pounds under the table into offshore accounts and gets to play Champ Manager on cheat mode while everyone pretends he's a genius. Why would he leave?

tariq panja

@tariqpanja

1 year

Guardiola has won 5 league titles with City. He’s stayed longer as coach there (7 years) than anywhere else. Almost double the time at Barcelona and more than double time at Bayern. Intriguing.

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Mike

@da5705

5 years

My Dad died yesterday and I don't think I've ever felt so empty. My heart is broken for the man who taught me what a man and a father should be. Rest in peace Dad, I'll miss you forever.

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Mike

@da5705

7 years

Big week for Spurs, two big 2-2 wins over Juventus and Rochdale

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Mike

@da5705

13 days

@lfc_nino Barely got a preseason because of the Euros, I expect they're just managing his fitness for now.

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

@Naaim7 @PeterMooreLFC Because shutting down a city centre, getting that many police in the right place and making the area safe for a million people is going to happen overnight?

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Mike

@da5705

3 months

@WB35755389 I am fat, it would be hard to sound much fatter...

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Mike

@da5705

3 years

This is the clash of the titans. This is Ali vs Frazier, it's Sampras vs Agassi, the Red Sox vs the Yankees, El Classico, Senna vs Prost, Mean Machine vs the Screws. This match transcends the sport. One day we'll all tell our grandkids we were here to see it.

80s Footballers Ageing Badly

@80sAging

3 years

Round 3 - Match 7 Sven-Gunnar Larsson (34) vs Ian Ure (27)

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Mike

@da5705

5 years

Thirteen grand in a week. Why the fuck isn't anyone paying that to see a fat, ugly, bald middle aged man's photos? 😢

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Mike

@da5705

4 months

@CharlieM_OBE So you took a photo of the "card payments only" sign on your way in and then you were surprised when you discovered it was card payments only? Are you simple?

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Mike

@da5705

1 year

Imagine cheating on your wife with your daughter's mate while the wife has cancer, blaming your daughter for the marriage ending and making her life so miserable she becomes an alcoholic then trying to claim anything else is unacceptable @richardajkeys

beIN SPORTS

@beINSPORTS_EN

1 year

"He loses the plot in the dugout and that's not acceptable!" @richardajkeys is not impressed with the aggressive celebration from Jurgen Klopp when Diego Jota scored the late winner for Liverpool. #beINPL #LIVTOT 🔴🐓

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Mike

@da5705

3 months

@mission_russian @GGatilov Remember back before you lot went full Nazi in Ukraine when Sweden, Finland and Switzerland were all neutral?

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Mike

@da5705

5 years

How much has the wife spent on cheese this week?

Max and Paddy Quotes

@maxandpaddyline

5 years

EIGHT GRAND

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Mike

@da5705

5 years

Hang on, the man who was so scared of Scousers on Twitter that he fucked off to Bulgaria and left his wife behind has an option on war...

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Mike

@da5705

8 months

I see Everton fans are doing net transfer spend sums and deciding that the Premier League should just ignore that their wage bill is close to 100% of revenue or the couple of million they're having to borrow every month just to keep the lights on...

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

Imagine being this small time? It must be fucking horrendous

Charlie Gibson

@CharlieMooseCMM

6 years

FT @TheWinslowHotel Everton supporters club. The fans partying hard to “Hala Madrid” Real Madrid 3-1 Liverpool @ESPNUK #EFC #LFC #RMFC #UCLfinal

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Mike

@da5705

5 years

In the Army I made beds you could literally bounce a coin off. I folded T-shirts to A4 size and blankets all the exact same height and width with the stripe dead centre. So why the fuck does every present I've wrapped look like Stephen Hawking did it with his left foot?

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Mike

@da5705

3 years

The most beautiful city in the world

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

People are actually whinging about what number Alisson is going to wear next year. Who the fuck cares if he wears number 9 so long as he can catch a fucking ball?

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Mike

@da5705

7 years

Hi @btsportfootball . You'll Never Walk Alone at Anfield is one of the great sights and sounds of world football. Why the fuck would I want to listen to Owen fucking Hargreaves talking absolute fucking wham over it?

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Mike

@da5705

9 years

@colinttrainor @8GoalsCombined I checked your ExpG value Colin. It seems to show that you've never seen a real woman naked...

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Mike

@da5705

7 years

Liverpool fans are so used to having a shit squad that they literally can't process how a squad works anymore

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Mike

@da5705

3 months

@archer95_35 My GCSE German teacher would be horrified if he's still alive. Hope he is, he was a nice guy.

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Mike

@da5705

7 years

Remember that £200m, multiple record breaking summer? It's the 16th of August and this is what Liverpool fans are discussing on Twitter...

Jason Roberts

@JaseRoberts_

7 years

Would you take Jonny Evans at Liverpool?

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

@TotallyMUFC @DeanReds70 Typical United fans. Offended by everything, ashamed of nothing etc etc

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Mike

@da5705

3 years

@Gturv @Anfieldlnsider Especially on the day before they announce changes to the Champions League to make sure there's more games and more money in the pot for them...

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Mike

@da5705

4 years

The best thing about living on the Wirral is that you get views like this of the most beautiful city in the world. One of the things I really miss from home.

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Mike

@da5705

4 months

@ATRightMovies Very possibly the hottest anyone has ever looked in the history of mankind, never mind just in movie history...

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Mike

@da5705

5 years

@Guardiolista04 With FFP you'd be in League 1

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Mike

@da5705

9 months

@AbsoluteEverton @stedoddnew @LFC Are you seriously comparing 97 people dying at a football match to Everton being docked points after admitting guilt for breaking rules?

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Mike

@da5705

7 years

@BrandonsNotShit Nah mate, it's a towel. Dates are those sticky fruit things you get at Christmas

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

@kibaflexx Because you've made it up for attention on the internet?

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Mike

@da5705

3 years

Sky slipping seamlessly from how the ESL was an attempt to shut smaller teams out to how United should spend £200m+ on buying the best players from smaller sides without even a hint of understanding the hypocrisy...

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

Can't even get a full size bottle of Coke with a Tesco meal deal anymore. Jamie Oliver can fuck off the spaz tongued sugar nonce cunt

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Mike

@da5705

2 years

@SkySports_Keith @worflags @SkySportsNews Any thoughts on your wonderful owners ordering the murder of three people yesterday so they could take their house?

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Mike

@da5705

1 year

@BBCMOTD @alanshearer This must be a different @alanshearer to the one that once tried to take Neil Lennon's head off during a match then cried to the FA to back him up?

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Mike

@da5705

1 year

@Football_Speak @Football__Tweet Gerrard could literally play any position on the pitch at a world class level. He played centre mid, right mid and right back in a single European Cup final. KdB is an outstanding player but more complete than Gerrard he is absolutely not.

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Mike

@da5705

7 years

We've never replaced Reina, Hyypia, Carra, Agger, Alonso, Masch, Gerrard, Suarez or Torres after we sold them

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Mike

@da5705

4 months

Liverpool's downfall is (probably) finishing 3rd and winning a trophy. Everton's is not winning a trophy since Jesus was doing his woodwork BTEC, borrowing £20m a month just to keep the leccy on and a constant battle against relegation while waiting for administration.

Tactically Matt

@TacticallyMatt

4 months

You're sick if you're enjoying this Liverpool downfall

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

@Toffybolox @MrBergstad @PrisonPlanet @BBCNews Don't come into one of Prison Planet's conspiracy threads with your stupid facts

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Mike

@da5705

11 months

@CraigHope_DM @MailSport What did he wear for the Friday beheadings?

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Mike

@da5705

7 years

Signing Andy Carroll to fix a goalscoring crisis is like getting the McCanns in to box off your babysitting

Matt Law

@Matt_Law_DT

7 years

Chelsea to step up striker search with Carroll still a shock possibility #cfc

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Mike

@da5705

2 years

@CFCNoBias @footballdaily Underselling yourself there, Chelsea fans used to love a parade back in the day.

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Mike

@da5705

3 years

@TelegraphDucker Maybe they could sell a couple more youth players and raise enough for another £500m spend James? I don't even think poor Pep has even spent £50m on a right back yet this summer, has he?

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

@Colin_Lawton1 @saintant @BBCBreaking You haven't though Colin, have you? I've never heard of a cold that left you with what looked like a three or four inch tracheotomy scar, for example. You know that just because something is 'deadly' doesn't mean it kills 100% of the time, don't you?

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

@BrianMcFadden @georgiebingham So basically you think you're above the law?

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Mike

@da5705

4 years

The nearest thing the Ev have had to a trophy in 25 years is some yard dog miscontrolling a shit pass then fouling a player who's won more than their club has in their entire history 😂

TheToffees_com

@thetoffees_com

4 years

Proper player 💪 #EFC

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Mike

@da5705

2 years

@LizMahony2 I'll take a wild stab in the dark and guess that despite appearances from your profile picture, you never actually lived through rationing yourself but that won't stop you from romaticising a time when thousands of sailors died to make sure the country didn't starve?

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@da5705

6 years

Worried that maybe every single contestant on #TheApprentice won't be a complete cunt? Fear not, every single fucking one of them is an absolute fucking bellend

BBC Press Office

@bbcpress

6 years

👉 Meet the new #TheApprentice contestants. Who will be the first to hear the words "you're fired"? Series starts 3 October on @BBCOne :

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Mike

@da5705

7 years

Remember how we once sold Ian Rush and bought three players who won us the league? You probably don't like because our oldest player was in nappies when it happened but every cunt on here seems to be convinced it's a regular thing for some reason

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Mike

@da5705

1 year

@FatToasty So rather than realise that it's time for fans to start working together over things like fan safety, tickets and facilities for finals and how fans are treated by police and authorities, you thought you'd just smash out a generic 'Liverpool bad' tweet for likes?

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@da5705

4 years

@richardduffin1 @guardian_sport @bglendenning Those were the days when players were cripples who could barely walk by the time they got to their mid 30s. Hasn't sports science moved on since then?

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Mike

@da5705

3 years

@mdkibiza @Jord38068004 Good point. Did they get banned from the league, FA Cup, UEFA Cup, European Cup Winners Cup and League Cup too because they've had virtually no success in any of them either?

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Mike

@da5705

3 years

Surely Juve should have followed his example and forced him to do it even though he said no?

Sky Sports News

@SkySportsNews

3 years

Cristiano Ronaldo asked not to start for Juventus against Udinese in Serie A according to Sky in Italy.

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@da5705

1 year

People are being very mean about this. Yasir didn't have to take time out from helping to murder journalists and gays or finance ISIS but he did it anyway because he just loves Newcastle so much.

Newcastle United FC

@NUFC

1 year

Our chairman, His Excellency Yasir Al-Rumayyan, reflects on a momentous season for Newcastle United.

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Mike

@da5705

1 year

@dodgson_sally @sheddingham @newmandavecf @ScottyGoesAgain The fucking Hoylake elite once again manipulating the world's media to implement their evil plans to *checks notes* Make some side roads in New Ferry 20mph limits.

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

There's actual Liverpool fans on Twitter slagging Klopp off for 'only' giving five grand to a charity appeal he doesn't even have to acknowledge. I fucking hate some of our fans...

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Mike

@da5705

3 months

@Itsdatboy3 Pretty common in the UK but it's usually grated cheese that melts over the chips rather than just throwing a cheese slice over them.

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Mike

@da5705

2 months

@Ttunacc787 @DarthPutinKGB Why could it possibly be that every European country that borders Russia wants to be part of a defensive alliance? It's just a mystery 🤔

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Mike

@da5705

3 years

Fans back in stadia and this gets served up as the first final they'll see. A match up for the ages. Have to feel this is so finely balanced it's going to come down to who hits the Olde Speckled Hen and fags hardest tonight. Preparation is everything.

80s Footballers Ageing Badly

@80sAging

3 years

Ladies and gentlemen, after a well fought competition, I'm delighted to present to you, the two finalists of the #FACupofBadlyAgingFootballers . The match will kick off at 7.30 tomorrow (Sunday) . I'll be here from 7ish for some pre-match build up!

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Mike

@da5705

1 year

Imagine being so fucking obsessed with transfers that you attack journalists for reporting that one of our players is doing well in an international tournament...

DeFi

@Shinobi_187

1 year

@JamesPearceLFC FSG: "If you want to get back in our good books you'll need to create a narrative of us not needing another midfielder this summer, ok?" James: "Curtis Jones with his man of the match award last night after helping to guide England U21s into the final of the Euros...

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Mike

@da5705

3 years

@bernardooooV3 This you?

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Mike

@da5705

3 years

@ReggieNBollie @ManUtd This you?

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Mike

@da5705

5 years

@GoingMedieval Occasionally having the boss tell you that you were off to France to die of dysentery or being ridden over by three ton of man, horse and armour would probably put a downer on the morning team brief too.

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Mike

@da5705

11 months

@refsupportuk You don't see a problem with officials taking paid trips to a country that owns a team in the PL and then making a number of decisions so bad that they stood out even compared to the usual awful standard of Premier League officiating as well as directly benefitting that nation?

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Mike

@da5705

2 years

@HarshG00ner @brfootball More hilarious than finishing the season with fuck all and bottling a huge lead over your closest rivals for them to qualify for the Champions League?

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@da5705

4 years

@PrideEdinburgh @dunedinbear An activist for paedophile rights? Hope it was slow and painful...

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Mike

@da5705

3 years

@jimbeglin You shouldn't have to apologise for telling the truth Jim. Especially about a club nobody has any respect for.

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Mike

@da5705

5 years

Absolutely fucking livid about this. Can't believe their owners are getting a couple of statues painted and all we've managed to do is win the fucking Champions League

Blue Bear

@1BearTruth

5 years

It's official boys, Moshiri is getting the Liver birds painted blue!!!💙👍🏽 Incoming fume from the reds... #UTFT #Everton

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Mike

@da5705

6 years

Welcome to our coverage of Liverpool vs West Ham. Sit back and enjoy these interviews with Man City and Arsenal staff...

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Mike

@da5705

4 months

@tassagency_en Hopefully there'll be a nice big troop convoy on the bridge when they do.

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Mike

@da5705

2 years

@TeleFootball @TelegraphDucker Probably helps when your balance sheet is a work of absolute fiction...

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Mike

@da5705

8 months

@TheHoodedClaw66 Hopefully you win and you can take the twat to the cleaners for your legal fees afterwards.

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Mike

@da5705

7 years

@RST_Diavolo @sncerelybae No such thing as too much in January my friend

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@da5705

6 years

@PainInTheArse 'Thirty Years of Hurt' with Piers Morgan. A constant feed of Piers being tortured that lasts for thirty years. Probably one for ITV3.

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@da5705

6 years

@R_o_M Didn't you used to sell a baby grow making fun of Heysel? They're some big stones you're lashing round that glass house...

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Mike

@da5705

2 months

@volleybalnl Do you not feel sick supporting someone who raped a 12 year old?

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Mike

@da5705

5 years

Why is it that my kids' favourite thing in the entire world is watching youtube videos by people with voices that make me want to stab them repeatedly in the throat?

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Mike

@da5705

5 years

Just think we're still missing Buvac...

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@da5705

3 years

@80sAging How is Ure not walking away with this? He's 27 and he looks like one of those mummies they sometimes pull out of peat bogs...

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