Collin Whitchurch @cowhitchurch Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

8 years

Sports are dumb.

1

6

11

Last Seen Profiles

@RegLee7

@frostfiresoul

@1Mnorr

@Akadem_Campus

@M060905

@coinmusme

@ArkoPravo19

@hero_izm

@stwmaniax

@Keizi17Q

@PollyDad

@FfeauhA49

@kona_357

@guildofhealth

@Soheilgh1983

@ZenaRos54149972

@8833jp

@LBDrenthe

@zzmomma

@socedgrs

@UWDAction

@UniofSuffolk

@eyexo223

@heenaluwahine

@hol__smith

@Skyfalls_hail

@jfsmith98

@kurnazchn

@Ilovehajesmch

@Sherah_jay

@HamidCoulibaly_

@dratpirsna

@LeratoLagaKhoza

@JABBAWOCKEEZ

@Idola83595347

@asshhh_0

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

6 years

You're not an adult until you have a cabinet full of Tupperware and every time you open it they all spill out and you can never find a matching lid for the one you want to use.

64

2K

8K

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

Giolito is gonna throw a no-hitter tonight.

93

263

4K

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

9 months

The literal No. 1 seeded Houston Astros, who had a bye and a long layoff between the regular season and their first playoff game, won the World Series last year. They didn't even lose a single game until the World Series. What are we even talking about right now?

80

196

4K

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

2 years

Fun fact: The Guardians are the first AL Central team to win a playoff series of any type since 2005.

46

35

643

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

My buddy works for a liquor distributor and Nick Jonas just hopped on their Zoom call to promote his new Tequila.

6

43

376

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

Despite winning World Series MVP in '05 and finishing fifth in AL MVP voting in '06, I feel like Jermaine Dye's White Sox tenure has somehow still been underrated. He hit 164 HRs in five years with the White Sox. For comparison, José Abreu hit 146 his first five years in Chicago.

17

29

302

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

2 years

The season started with a bing bong and ended with a holy cannoli

2

69

304

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

Edwin Encarnación has hit 30+ HRs in eight straight seasons. In 2019, he hit 34 HRs and was worth 2.5 WARP. In 2019, White Sox DHs combined to hit .197/.275/.342 and were worth 0.0 WARP. Maybe other guys were preferable, but tough to hate this signing.

6

35

267

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

9 months

@BMcCarthy32 I don't disagree that the playoff format is bad. I also don't think teams are losing because they get extra days off. The unrested team seems much more disadvantaged. Small sample size randomness is why these teams lose sometimes.

5

0

252

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

I, too, am happy that the Cubs traded Eloy Jiménez to the White Sox, but there will be no José Quintana slander tolerated on this timeline.

5

14

212

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

IDK if it's because of the lack of crowd noise or not, but Steve Levy's voice just doesn't give off a "big game" vibe to me. Nothing about how he calls a game offends me, it just sounds like a late-kickoff Pac-12 game and not Monday Night Football.

22

10

196

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

I don't think it's a hot take to say that Adam Engel is probably better than Adam Eaton in 2021.

8

10

185

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

2 years

BREAKING: The best person I've ever met has agreed to a lifetime contract to be my wife, and I've never been happier.

39

0

204

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

6 years

The kerning in this end zone is making me lose my shit.

5

27

176

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

The White Sox enter tonight 6-9 and have scored 69 runs on the season.

26

24

157

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

2 years

Congrats to Aaron Judge for moving 12 home runs shy of tying the home run record.

7

37

181

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

Fernando Tatis Jr. has made White Sox fans think trading prospects for veterans is always gonna be bad, even worse than your average baseball fan.

8

11

170

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

6 years

18 years ago tomorrow, a date that will live in infamy.

1

61

154

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

6 years

We know Omar Narvaez didn't set up Welington Castillo to get popped for PEDs because he can't frame anything.

4

28

155

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

Reminder that there are 50 guys on the Futures Game rosters and 35 of them are older than Juan Soto.

2

36

159

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

Excited to watch three innings of spring training baseball today and then remember that spring training baseball is terrible.

4

9

142

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

8 years

Smash in the house, plus Mindy Riggins. #FNLTailgate

0

28

124

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

Just sitting here on a Thursday night thinking about how wild it is that a professional baseball stadium once looked like this.

9

16

152

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

8 months

Got married ✅

26

3

147

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

1 year

Me: See that dopey looking white guy for Denver? Jess: Yes. Me: He's the best player in the NBA. Jess: Nuh uh.

7

10

140

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

Alex Colomé and Liam Hendriks blew saves at almost the exact same moment lol

2

15

131

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

The White Sox have won 485 games during Rick Hahn's tenure as GM. In that same time span, the league's preeminent laughingstock the Miami Marlins, have won 482 games.

8

30

123

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

2 years

It's easy with hindsight to say the White Sox should've signed some of these cool players in the NLCS like Schwarber or Harper or Machado or Wheeler when they were free agents. But we were also saying it with foresight.

5

7

119

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

11 months

Multiple competing thoughts can be true: Rick Hahn is a train wreck of a GM who built this disaster and shouldn't be allowed to preside over this trade deadline. He got good value for two months of Gio and Reynaldo.

7

10

129

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

2 years

"The last five years have been difficult revenue-wise" Fucking prove it

6

10

114

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

"I sure hope Billy Hamilton is OK and Adam Engel comes back soon," said the fan of the team that considers itself a World Series contender.

2

8

105

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

The White Sox are far and away the most bet team in MLB to win the World Series, according to data released Friday by @PointsBetUSA . Three White Sox players are the most bet to win MVP, and one White Sox player is most bet to win the home run crown:

White Sox are Most Most Popular Bet in Multiple 2021 MLB Futures

The Chicago White Sox have taken in the most World Series Champion futures at one sportsbook, and their players lead the way in award futures.

www.actionnetwork.com

2

17

102

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

1

21

95

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

TBH I would trade any White Sox prospect except for Robert in a deal for Betts if he was gonna sign here long term. Madrigal? Gone. Vaughn? Gone. Fuck your prospects, I'll take the 26-year-old bonafide superstar.

15

4

92

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

The Twins have been so bad that the Royals lost 11 straight and are still 3 1/2 games in front of them.

0

7

108

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

6 years

Jose Berrios was the opposing pitcher for Chris Sale's last start in a White Sox uniform. Berrios will be the opposing pitcher for Michael Kopech's first start in a White Sox uniform.

2

28

98

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

2 years

A COVID vaccine

JJ Cooper

@jjcoop36

2 years

If you're the Royals, who do you take here?

18

1

16

2

13

96

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

6 years

The Mira-curl on Ice.

0

23

90

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

Some news: Thrilled to announce that I have accepted a job with @ActionNetworkHQ to join their awesome team as a general editor. Having spent my entire professional life in the newspaper industry, this is an exciting new challenge with a fantastic company. Can't wait.

25

4

94

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

2 years

There were 10 dudes picked in the MLB Draft today who are older than Juan Soto.

0

21

96

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

It's so cool when a team's prospect just completely tears up the minors and then is rewarded with a September call-up. So cool. I love it when that happens.

William Boor

@wboor

5 years

Source confirms reports that #Dodgers are calling up Gavin Lux

3

52

251

3

9

82

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

Tim Anderson entered the night hitting literally .500 against lefties. He's hitting .512 against them now.

3

11

84

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

It's fine. The White Sox are just another couple of walks and a third strike wild pitch away from tying this baby back up.

0

11

85

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

7 months

Last year, Lovie Smith helped the Bears get the #1 pick. This year, Mitch Trubisky is doing his part.

0

6

91

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

Legitimately hilarious that MLB announced a seven-game suspension for swearing at the same time the NHL decided not to suspend someone for basically attempted murder.

2

17

85

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

I have COVID. Get vaccinated, folks.

18

5

70

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

@cdgoldstein This is undoubtedly one of the toughest announcements that I've ever personally had to make. YOU CAN PUT IT ON THE BOARD, YES! But after the accident in turn four at the end of the Daytona 500, we've lost Dale Earnhardt.

0

1

69

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

Lucas Giolito's last six starts: 43 2/3 IP 22 H 5 ER 8 BB 48 K

4

12

69

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

If the White Sox trade for Mazara you're going to hear a lot about how young he is, but we're also talking about more than 2,000 career plate appearances of essentially league-average offensive production and a bad glove. Hard pass.

10

11

56

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

Maybe I'm in the minority of White Sox fans, but I feel no anger or sadness when Tatis Jr. does amazing shit. I'm over it. He's amazing and I love watching him play, regardless of the laundry.

14

2

66

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

A law that requires you to play a song about how free you are.

Dan Patrick

@DanPatrick

3 years

The Star Spangled Banner Protection Act is among my legislative priorities this session. The purpose of #SB4 is to ensure that the national anthem is played at all events which receive public funding. Read my official statement here: #txlege

688

68

291

0

27

72

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

6 years

Damn Kipnis got all of it.

0

7

62

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

They got WHO hitting behind me?! Fuck it, I'll do it my damn self. -Luis Robert, probably

0

8

73

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

Trying to imagine Tony La Russa as Tim Anderson's manager and would prefer if that remains something I have to try to imagine.

3

68

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

7 years

Davidson just needs a walk-off double and walk-off triple the next two nights to complete the walk-off cycle.

0

15

59

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

The best part of these White Sox offer leaks is that they're intended to illustrate how hard they tried when all it does is make this whole thing more pathetic.

3

12

60

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

11 months

Edgar Quero was the 37th best prospect in baseball on @baseballpro 's midseason Top 50 prospect list, published just two weeks ago

0

23

72

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

7 years

Reinsdorf had to trade Butler in order to pay for all of Buehrle's gifts.

2

25

61

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

Chicago > Detroit. Today and every day, in everything.

3

8

59

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

6 years

Cease gets Tatis Jr. to fly out and the White Sox somehow simultaneously win the Quintana trade and the Shields trade.

0

4

57

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

8 years

To be a true professional you have to be good enough at a craft for someone to pay you to do it.

Mark Schlereth

@markschlereth

8 years

I hope Cam Newton is watching Jordan Spieth's interview right now. To be a true professional you have to be able to face the music

396

1K

3K

2

26

56

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

Bummer/Marshall/Colomé is pretty much the ideal late-inning bullpen combo for the White Sox. Getting the former two healthy before the playoffs was so important. Throw Crochet in there and the bullpen doesn't look nearly as bad as recent performance would indicate.

6

2

64

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

White Sox have moved to AL favorites at DK. This morning: Astros +250, White Sox +300 Now: White Sox +250, Astros +270

2

12

58

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

7 years

Kopech striking out Moncada means the White Sox simultaneously won and lost the Sale trade.

0

13

60

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

Just an absolutely amazing quote from Moncada about the Field of Dreams game in @JRFegan 's story today.

3

13

61

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

The skepticism over the White Sox rebuild was always that once they built up this super mighty farm system that they wouldn't be willing to go the extra mile in free agency to supplement it.

5

15

59

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

When you try your best and you don't succeed.

4

14

62

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

White Sox having 50/50 calls go their way and seeing the other team run themselves out of a potential big inning. A whole new world.

0

6

61

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

@LWilz I expect an apology, Lauren!

1

0

57

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

The White Sox having the best record in baseball and also being an embarrassing national joke approximately once a week sure is something.

2

9

59

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

Troy Tulowitzki got ejected from the UT Longhorns baseball game against South Carolina tonight, in case you were wondering how he's doing.

0

9

60

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

Holy shit.

4

9

51

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

Fun fact when Tony La Russa's career started the White Sox were still using these uniforms regularly

1

4

53

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

7 years

No Robert in the starting lineup? smh

Chicago White Sox

@whitesox

7 years

Tonight's #SoxGameDay starters:

6

25

107

0

12

51

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

Maybe White Sox Twitter should chill on personally attacking the account with the questionable opinion.

9

3

52

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

White Sox won the Peavy trade.

Scot Gregor

@scotgregor

4 years

LHP Clayton Richard back with #WhiteSox . Signed a minor-league deal and is reporting to Schaumburg. Richard was with Sox in 2008-09

2

6

43

1

8

52

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

This is the perfect playoff broadcast booth because everyone in it seems to actually enjoy watching baseball and gets excited about it. It's sad that that's the bar.

1

5

55

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

Ivan Nova for Clint Frazier wow you heard it here first.

5

1

48

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

Dylan Cease will be an All-Star this year and by that I mean multiple HR Derby participants will probably pick him as their pitcher

6

4

52

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

I hope the White Sox trade for a good player but don't want them to give up anyone on the MLB roster, any of their top 30 prospects, any IFA money, any PTBNL, or any cash considerations.

3

5

45

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

Based on this draft and their farm system, the White Sox future lineup seems loaded: C: Charles Johnson 1B: Kevin Youkilis 2B: Roberto Alomar SS: Royce Clayton 3B: Mark Teahan LF: Manny Ramirez CF: Ken Griffey Jr. RF: Timo Perez DH: Jose Canseco

7

2

43

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

Confused at all the angst over reports that the White Sox are interested in signing a good player.

4

45

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

6 years

The White Sox traded Addison Reed for Matt Davidson because Davidson is a better pitcher than Reed.

1

8

48

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

Moncada's gonna finish around 5-5.5 WAR depending on which you look. Anderson is gonna win a batting title. Eloy has 30 bombs and an OPS north of .800. It's pretty much exactly what you wanted out of those guys coming into the season. Fucking go for it next year.

4

0

48

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

This is how I celebrate things too.

0

4

50

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

Last night I had a dream where I was hanging out with Mike Trout and asked him why he's never been in the Home Run Derby and he said "fuck that shit." Then he suggested there should be a "Walk Derby" and I didn't ask how that would work but he told me he would dominate it.

4

48

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

Made a lot of jokes about it over the last 10 days, but having COVID is scary. Happy I was vaccinated to keep my symptoms mild. I know everyone hasn't been as lucky as I was, both in circumstances and outcome. Thanks to everyone who reached out and wished me well. Going home now.

2

0

47

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

Love those shots in movies where they put images of the villain and the hero next to each other.

3

8

42

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

2 years

Tfw you bet against Dallas Keuchel

4

10

48

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

7 years

Check out the starting lineups from Melky Cabrera's MLB debut with the Yankees. Seems like ancient history.

6

14

43

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

When Spider-Man 2 (the Toby Maguire one) came out I went to a midnight screening and when the opening credits started someone in the front row stood up and shouted "This isn't Snow Dogs!" and I think about that all the time.

0

5

41

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

White Sox are 18-11 against Kansas City, Detroit, and Cleveland. 13-22 against everyone else.

8

5

47

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

There's only one FA starting pitcher available better than Lance Lynn and it's someone I don't want the White Sox to acquire anyway. So this is good. Trading for Lynn is good. Complaining about it is nonsensical.

4

46

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

8 years

Just saw Smash Williams and Billy Riggins. #FNLReunion

0

8

38

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

3 years

I am fuckin hammered but I just wanted to pop in to say my little sister got married today. I officiated the wedding. It was beautiful. It was a perfect day. I love everyone. Goodnight.

2

0

46

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

4 years

I've had an unopened pack of '91 Fleer baseball cards forever. Have no idea where I got it. Since baseball cards are apparently popular again I decided to open it up and see what was inside.

13

0

46

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

I quit smoking almost exactly five months ago and have been cigarette free since then, but using a Juul as a crutch. Today, I threw the Juul in the garbage.

3

0

37

Collin Whitchurch

@cowhitchurch

5 years

Solid attempts by everyone to create the best team under budget from that game going around, but my team would crush all of yours.