Kaleb @cowboyKal3b Twitter profile

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

4 months

The opportunity cost of not waking up at 5 AM and forgoing breakfast is so very high

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

ADHD advice from people who don’t understand at all: “Just get a planner!” Actually helpful ADHD advice: “The only way to ever reliably find motivation to clean your room is to invite someone over so your crippling fear of embarrassment overrides your broken dopamine receptors”

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

“Also, don’t ever take off your shoes, or sit down, or text someone back, you will lose all momentum”

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 months

One of the best feelings in the world is remembering you’re not in Dallas

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

I promise y’all don’t all have ADHD just bc this is relatable, but if it is within your financial means and you think there’s actually a serious possibility, please consider getting professionally diagnosed - could radically improve your life

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Wild how this post is being well received on this app that is functionally a dopamine slot machine 🤔

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

How the hell does UTPD immediately send out texts for unarmed robberies but have zero urgency to make sure students know to stay inside during this

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

5 months

Caught this pretty broad tailed girl EIGHT times in a row this morning. She couldn’t get enough free snacks

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Someone asked me if I was UT 24 UT 25 while I was getting free stuff at Greg so i just panicked and lied instead of letting them find out I was old

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Gus takes on grad szn

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Petition to make all the paths on campus only go downhill

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

4 months

Saw eight !! mooses 2day

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

6 months

What happened to this energy

Greg Abbott

@GregAbbott_TX

5 years

I just signed a law protecting free speech on college campuses. #txlege

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

5 months

Caught a spotted bat last night !! The first one in almost 20 years of interagency bat netting on our monument and forest. I’ve never seen our two senior biologists so excited 🤠

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Idc how many times Mike the crossing guard yells at me, Jaywalking is the most efficient way to cross the street and I refuse to stop

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

UT garage commuter permit: $761 Parking on guad every day w/out paying and hoping I don’t get a ticket: free Sigma moves only.

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

15 days

Blows my mind how the vast majority of Americans will never witness a truly dark sky but I can just casually see the Milky Way from my porch

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Does anyone else have like a handful of complete strangers you always see in lots of random places on campus and recognize the face of but have never actually interacted with?

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Not going on private for job applications bc if a potential employer looks at this they will simply realize how funny I am and have no choice but to hire me

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Checked out a butterfly net from my entomology class so now I have to walk around campus all day with it looking like a whole animal crossing character

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

1 year

Horned frogs are by far the cutest lizards

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Update: after 4 weeks of parking on guad without paying for ~8 hrs a day I have finally received a ticket 😭

Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

UT garage commuter permit: $761 Parking on guad every day w/out paying and hoping I don’t get a ticket: free Sigma moves only.

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Trained my cat to walk on a leash then took him to campus with me just to flex on the dog owners

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

4 months

Hikinghiking to keep the mind goblins at bay

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Istg if we still end up going online because UT is too cowardly to mandate the vaccine I’m gonna lose it for good

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Come visit Gus at our “puppy” kissing booth in the west mall RIGHT NOW to help raise money for UT Outpost

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 years

The Scientologists on guad are back! Nature is healing!

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

1 year

Someone please appreciate the near perfect color-coordination I accidentally pulled off with my fit yesterday

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Guys I think an incident might have occurred at Deloss Dodds and San Jacinto - just a hunch

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 years

Me inheriting the presidency of my student org as a 23 year old in my 5th year or undergrad

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

@EstherAdaeze10 Apparently it wasn’t extremely specific enough bc I think I accidentally did the “attribute a quirky but still highly relatable thing to being nuerodivergent” trope

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

So grateful to HEERF for paying off literally just my $10 UT ID replacement fee 🙏🏻 miracles do happen!

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Too lazy to boil water I’ve just let myself be extremely dehydrated for the past few days instead

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

6 months

I accidentally speedran all of Americas deadliest roads in the span of the past week and a half someone give me a prize

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

5 months

Creature

✧𐌹𐍈𐌽✧

@ionabug

5 months

Creature

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Made a friend

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

People over 5’10 should not be allowed to attend music festivals

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

5 months

the random 60 year old man that asked if I wanted a picture then took this singular photo kinda cooked

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Guess now I gotta watch Spider-Man 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 1 and 2 to prep for seeing Spider-Man 3 in December

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

It’s about time I post some drafts

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 months

Rate my room set up - I heard women like it when you have a bed frame

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

@KilllistT This is actually super helpful

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 years

Put all my national park maps up on my wall bc I thought it would be cute but in hindsight kinda gives conspiracy theorist vibes

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 months

Long stressful day, but caught my first ever Anna’s hummingbird this morning ! Lil gal was extremely out of what’s supposed to be her range and I sympathize with that

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 months

Fixed it

Steven K 🇮🇩 🇺🇸 🍉

@NeonTetraploid

2 months

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Shoutout to the people at wurst fest who we successfully convinced that we legitimately drank all 65 of these pitchers of beer

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 years

The smollest baby horned frog

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 years

I’m going to invent cuatro leches

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 years

After covid stealing so much of my college experience I wasn’t too upset about having to take a 5th year but tbh this shit kinda sucks. All my close friends are gone, hardly recognize anyone on campus, and I feel like the oldest person in the world

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

14 days

Hate hate hate hate hate writing cover letters. just give me the job I promise I’ll do good

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 years

Watching my entire class graduate without me because I have to take another semester was far a more jarring and emotionally conflicting experience than I anticipated 🥲

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

1 year

Finally made it to antelope canyon :)

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

1 year

Took a trip to see Pando, the largest known organism on the planet. Aspens tend to reduce clonally, and all of these individual stems actually share a root system and are genetically identical, so this entire stand is technically one individual tree stretching for over 100 acres

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Pedestrians in west campus learn how to cross the street challenge

Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

People in west campus learn how to drive challenge

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Y’all ever dive so far into UT Twitter you start somehow following people who go to A&M?

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 months

A king sits on his throne

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

8 months

Gonna start telling this to every single person I run into in the park

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

The other day someone I didn’t know came up to me and asked if I was “the guy on Twitter who’s always trying not to get parking tickets” I think this means I’m finally a microinfluencer y’all

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

11 days

GUYS LOOK HOLY SHIT

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Driving up to Dallas with two cats and a ball Python in my car. Y’all think that qualifies for me to use the HOV lane?

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 years

My auto generated Apple photo albums

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

7 months

Almost as beautiful as the kind of sunsets you see at a random Walmart parking lot in Arizona

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Yeah I’m into classical literature

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Mansplain, manipulate, Megamind

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

TCU should have a live mascot horned frog that they bring out onto the field like bevo except its pen is just like 6 inches wide

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

1 year

Maybe I just need to get a slutty thigh tattoo and then I’ll be fulfilled

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

29 days

Posting more rocks, sorry

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 months

What the front porch of a house looks like after two biologists have lived in it for 3 months

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Literally the only bad thing about wearing green pants is that then you can’t also wear a green shirt with them

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

9 months

Yoinked this guy right off the road. Yeah he’s coming home with me 😃

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 months

Weird bat I caught last night

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 months

Apparently it’s snake day? Here look at this very polite wandering garter snake I caught yesterday

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

8 months

Made it off the tl

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Y’all think I could get away with sneaking my cat into the PCL?

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

18 days

This is a sign to get drunk and swim in the freezing cold creek with your friends at 1 AM

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

7 months

When a song mentions a city where I’ve lived or spent a lot of time in

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

1 year

After banding we feed the hummingbirds to try to mitigate the stress it might have caused, but sometimes they don’t understand, so we have to swing them up like a spoon airplane for a toddler to simulate flight and make them know to drink

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Distressed to report that returning to in person classes has not reversed the downward trend in my grades that online classes created

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 months

Shed hunters HATE him

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

End of July things

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

5 months

Oh how I have missed rocks that are orange

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Describing my career interests to someone: 𓅷𓆏𓃰𓃠𓅿𓂻𓃱𓃗𓅓𓆙𓀿𓂉𓃒𓃒𓃗𓃘𓃝𓃟𓃠𓃡𓃩𓃬𓃯𓃰𓃱𓃲𓃵𓃷𓃹𓄿𓅜𓅦𓅪𓅭𓅰𓆈𓆉𓆌𓆏𓆗𓆟𓆡𓆣𓆦𓆧

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 months

Weekend

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Literally just almost stepped on this alligator bc I thought it was a log 😅

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

1 month

The Aspen are finally turning :) I love fall

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

1 year

Fine here too ~insert list of accomplishments or whatever~

Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

1 year

Just posted my senior pics only 2 months after grad oops 🤠

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 months

You think your life is hard?? I just hiked up to the Zion rim overlook to get cell service bc I wanted to watch some funny tiktoks, but there wasn’t even any reception up there 😠 What a waste :(

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 months

We’re finally getting calliope hummingbirds showing up migrating through southern Utah - the smallest birds in North America. This chill juvenile female that hung around on my hand for a while weighed in at only 2.7 grams !!

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

6 months

Doing this with a (regionally available food item) in the (local kinda gross body of water)

Damarys

@RoatansFinest

2 years

Went to Roatan to dip my mango in the ocean like Rihanna! And it’s so good!!! 😩

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 years

Your boy is gonna be a wildlife field crew lead for the forest service in Utah! *cries in low abv beers*

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

1 month

Scenic ass culvert

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Being an ecology major is relearning Charles Darwin’s trip to the Galapagos in half your classes at the start of every semester for 4 years straight

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 years

Zuko in Grand Teton

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 months

Feeling corny

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

3 years

Just like when Aang finally had to accept that he needed to learn firebending following the failed eclipse invasion, I am now registered for 6 hours of botany in the fall after refusing to take a single plant class my entire time at UT

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 months

Tried playing Chappell Roan in the car to bond with my little sister but she doesn’t have a refined enough taste in girlpop to appreciate her like I do

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Kaleb

@cowboyKal3b

2 months

Why did this still from king of the hill make me nostalgic for an Austin I never even experienced