"Ireland has been so disruptive for the British..." Actual words spoken by Michael Portillo on television just now.
You've been fairly fucking disruptive over here, mate.
lads I’m in bits. Virgin Media news is after reporting on a hole on portmarnnock beach that ‘Could be the aftermath of a cosmic event’. Some fellas literally dug it the day before with a kid’s shovel
The way your man was talking about the rock being an asteroid had me in tears
It is the greatest moment of your life. The crowning achievement of everything you have worked for. Your kids and their kids and their kids will look back on this day. What do you do?
Amazon Studios secures
#SaoirseRonan
and
@mescal_paul
sci-fi thriller
#Foe
in €30m deal.
The actors will play a young married couple living in a dystopian near-future.
Filming is due to get underway early next year in Australia.
Read here:
If this was a movie, this would be the part where someone would visit Angela Merkel on her country estate and beg her to come out of retirement for one last job.
I’m no political scientist but it seems to my untrained eye that the countries most affected by coronavirus spikes are those run by complete dickheads.
It's all gonna be ok. I see it happening in this order:
- Trump gets dumped out of office
- Brexit deal
- Vaccine approved
- Cork win The Double
- Fungie is found safe and well
Many congrats to everyone involved in Irish production The Crown, which has received numerous Emmy Nominations for the series which follows then travails of the Irish Royal Family. And best of luck to Waterford native Olivia Coleman, former camogie All-Star, for her nomination.
When I see a plane flying over my house into Dublin I say “who’re these fuckers now?” the same way my Grandad would about a strange car driving into his yard.
BREAKING: The Italy v Ireland game looks likely to be called off as the Italian team are concerned they might catch whatever the Irish team had last Sunday.
At 11pm tomorrow, all 27 EU member states should unilaterally leave the EU and form a new bloc called the European Onion, leaving Britain trapped inside the EU on its own forever.
One of my big fears, as a parent, is my daughter growing up and travelling to dangerous parts of the world where they treat women like second-class citizens. Places like Iran, Saudi Arabia or The United States Of America.
If this thing falls right, the people in their 20’s won’t have their vaccines in time for the Electric Picnic so all us old people will have the place to ourselves again. It’ll be amazing. Lights out by 12pm. Not too noisy. Everyone up at 8am for a nice long breakfast.
Reasonable hopes for tomorrow morning:
- Trump gone
- Vaccine announced
- Two stone lost overnight
- The end to all war
- Fungie returns to Dingle with his son, Fungie Beag
Europeans, you might thinking - how does Ireland put up with it - being constantly at the coalface of the bumbling, delusional insanity of the British upper classes? Truth is - you just get used to it after around eight or nine hundred years.
No room in the media any more for white males, it seems. Blanket coverage today for the two girls who survived in the ocean overnight. Zero mention of the boy they apparently clung to for over fourteen hours. We don’t even know his name!
#mensrights
#notomasks
#5G
#EndSARS
Why is childcare so unbelievably, astronomically expensive for us parents and then the people looking after the kids are getting paid fuck all? Where’s all the money going?
I am on a train to Cork and it seems that you can listen to any old shite at full volume on the train now. No headphones required. Just blare it out like you’re at home. I feel so old fashioned here with my earphones/respect for other people’s personal space.
Apparently Van Morrison was so moved by the celebrity video made in honour of his 75th birthday he rang each of them up to tell them to fuck off individually.
We need to be careful. If Irish reunification and Scottish independence happen too close together, the piss-up could be so stratospheric, the English might simply reinvade the following morning when we’re queuing for sausage rolls.
If there’s one thing to learn from Brexit and the backstop debacle, it’s this. It’s NEVER a good idea to invade other countries and you’ll have the deal with it and keep dealing it forever. That’s why Ireland 🇮🇪 decided not to invade France after the Thierry Henry incident.
Just want to thank the amazing staff in my son’s school in Dublin for bringing us safely to midterm. Feels like a milestone. Hats off to teachers and staff all over the country actually. You all rock!
I’ve said it for years. Irish Protestants and Catholics would get on much better if the Protestants didn’t insist on tucking small hamsters into their tops. It’s a cultural difference too far.
I see the anti-immigration crowd have blocked O' Connell Bridge in the middle of rush hour and thereby stopped all the immigrants commuting to and from the jobs the protestors are too fucking useless to do.
Having watched this, on this cold winter morning in Dublin, I’d like the personally thank Michael Collins and the rest of the crew for everything they did to spare us this horseshit.
Worth remembering that lots of talented, entrepreneurial people are going to have their businesses fail on them when we hit Level 5 and the reason for that is that a significant minority in this country won’t fucking behave responsibly.
Mike Pence. Imagine your poor, hungry, uneducated ancestors emigrating from Ireland only for you to return centuries later, less progressive than they were?
Fix the broadband and the cities will empty, lads. Cities can become better. Countryside can become better. The country overall will be more balanced and so will most of our lifestyles.
Just. Roll. It. Fucking. Out.
Sarah McInerney showing today on the radio that there are many ways to skin a cat, one of which is to calmly repeat questions to the cat while it sets about skinning itself in front of you.
Big day for me today. Had two Bruce Springsteen tickets in the cart. Took a long hard look at the price (close to €300) and said fuck it, I could go to ten other gigs with that. And I closed the window. Sorry, Bruce.
"I hear people talking as if this country owns Ireland.
"Ireland owes this country nothing."
Bonnie Greer on Newsnight is going to be VERY popular on this side of the Irish Sea.
Lads when it comes to doing those everybody singing out the windows solidarity videos in a few weeks time, can we agree that it not be The Fields Of Athenry? Let's go from After All by the Franks or something.
It’s be cool if there was some centralised Amazon-type interface to shop for Irish products. Crafts, jewellery, Irish produce - Christmas market type stuff so people can shop for presents and support local businesses.
Twitter: The world is on fire! Nazis everywhere! Everything is awful!
*walks outside*
Man whistles while walking his dog. People queue politely in local shop. The smell of freshly baked bread. A robin sings high up in the branches, as light rain patters on a canopy of leaves.
Just want to say a heartfelt thanks to the staff at the
@RotundaHospital
, especially the amazing midwives, who helped us bring a new soul into the world this week. All a public service, provided free of charge, and something to be very proud of.
Lady Usher of the Black Rod Sarah Clarke, has the door of the Commons slammed in her face as part of the State Opening of Parliament, as a traditional sign of the authority of the Commons
#QueensSpeech
latest:
I can remember few darker, more troubling days as a citizen of Ireland. Hope you are all keeping the heads up. Our past is full of nightmares, the present is full of fear.... it feels overwhelming. So we gotta bank on making the future a whole lot better. Hang in there everyone.
Some day soon it’ll be all over. Brexit, Trump, social media, reality TV... We’ll all wake up in the 90’s again and Radiohead will be on the verge of releasing OK Computer and there’ll be time to sit and stare out a window and I’m definitely not having a midlife crisis.
That was Tuesday. Tomorrow is Wednesday. That’s all we can do these days. Keep her lit. Count your blessings. Mind your neighbours. We’re all taking Summer ‘21 off and we’ll have a feckin’ ball.
I’ve been actively trying to be positive and upbeat (for me) on this account over these past months - god knows we can do without weariness and cynicism in this moment - but mother of living CHRIST it’s only Tuesday.