diana thirst @cocksailor Twitter profile

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

7 years

this is the future libertarians want

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Tears streaming down my face

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

centrists are conservatives who expect a thank you card

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

forever alone :(

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Would u rather fight one charlie kirk sized ben shapiro or 100 ben shapiro sized charlie kirks

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Fan of Charlie Kirk: naive, imaginative, dim, either 18 or 81 Fan of Ben Shapiro: drunk guy at bar who swings at u & knocks self out Fan of Jordan Peterson: constipated but determined; pale, sweaty Fan of Elon Musk: genuinely cannot differentiate between butts & cheeseburgers

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

@KaitMarieox hi random strangers excuse me can i have attn ok did u hear about that ass weasel kaitlin isn’t she the worst oh u never heard of her well basically she’s an ass weasel anyways what if i told you 👓 im that ass weasel kaitlin who’s the ass weasel now huh

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Lil Ben Shapiro: ᵈᵉᵇᵃᵗᵉ ᵐᵉ! Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: *stops, glances around curiously, continues walking* BEN: ᶦ ˢᵃᶦᵈ ᵈᵉᵇᵃᵗᵉ ᵐᵉ, “ˢᵒᶜᶦᵃˡᶦˢᵗ!” AOC: i keep hearing something squeaking! BEN: ᴰᴱᴮᴬᵀᴱ ᴹᴱ!! AOC: oh! duh. new shoes. they squeak lol

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

finally some good fucking discourse

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Wow. Good job MAGAs, the FBI showed up at my clinic. Thankfully, they said the visit was just a formality, & confirmed that giving viramins to foolish trump supporters instead of desperately needed antibiotics is well within my rights! Lmao free speech rules

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Ah, yet another very normal would-be suitor on twitter dot com

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

i’m ready for trick-or-treaters! Happy Halloween!

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

ME: help the poor, treat the sick, free the oppressed, & welcome asylum seekers CONSERVATIVE: LOL hell no u democrap moran ME: i give vitamins soaked in viruses to racists CONSERVATIVE: EXCUSE ME WHAT TO FUCK NO U SHULD BE HELPING EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF LIFE CHOICES OR BELIEFS

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

ROSANNE BARR: im openly racist ABC: lol cute! BARR: here’s some racism ABC: yes ppl love that! BARR: here’s even more ABC: oops oh no ppl hate it lol HEY GUYS: more than 4,600 americans in puerto rico preventably died after hurricane maria due to Trump’s negligence & incompetence

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Why not a mama john’s

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

one of my neighbors is teaching himself ukulele on his porch rn and i have never been so angry in my life

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

I’m a doctor at an urgent care clinic in seattle, & when foolish trump supporters dare ask me for help i love to misdiagnose them and give them viramins instead of antibiotics. Then i prescribe weed to myself and laugh at them

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

hi i am a doctor

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

7 years

twitter loves it when i dunk on libertarians!

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Jacob Wohl is incel Martin Shkreli

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

@JacobAWohl How many drug dealers have you met

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

the mainstream media is working overtime claiming Alex Jones got kicked off some big platforms. Lol. the whole thing’s fake. Staged. In my view, manufactured. pretty much didn’t happen, folks. A giant hoax

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

@JacobAWohl does your mommy know you’re smoking?? im gonna go leave her a voicemail

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

End capitalism Abolish ICE Trump is stupid & bad Most dems are bad too Yes all TERFs are scum ACAB Socialism is good Support sex workers Healthcare is a right Only intersectional feminism Legalize & decriminalize cannabis Every conservative is a dipshit

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

This is outrageous! I was just suspended from my own clinic! The WA medical board said that while it’s perfectly legal & good to misdiagnose Trump supporters at my leisure, it’s NOT ok to prescribe weed to myself. So much for “freedom.“ Anyway, im high af rn

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Hello to the fbi, who’ve been @-ed about my practice 10+ times today, each @ funnier than the last. Conservatives are too foolish to realize that doctors can do whatever we want at private clinics! I just gave a patient in a maga hat a hot carl, & told him it’d treat his diabetes

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

the perfect tweet doesn’t exis—

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

if you told me a decade ago that juggalos, emo kids, taylor swift stans and so on would grow up to join forces and battle modern fascism, i would tell you that makes perfect sense, because i’ve seen their passion and i fear its power. they will kill for her. i believe

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

a number of dweebs are extremely emotional that i’ve called a certain gamer nerdlord, some white dude who calls himself “ninja,” a sexist; my apologies. what i meant to say is that he’s racist AND sexist

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

have you noticed these mysterious abbreviations in bios?? here is what they mean: INFP “i need feet pics” INTJ “i nasally take jizz” INTP “i’ve never tasted pussy”

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

this is why i leave my DMs open

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

I wish mitch hedberg wouldve lived to tweet

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

age 18: im punk, im at a cursive show, ima dye my hair black cause a dem lost age 28: Occupy was inspiring. The establishment is irredeemable. I’m going to start drinking water. I should join a gym. age 38: ACAB wud u succ garfields dongle 666k replies 69k RTs 420k likes lmaooo

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

@NRA Hello, i am Dr. Thirst, a very well-known doctor and thought leader, and it’s my medical opinion that the NRA should administer all of their ideas anally

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

been having a rough day at the clinic, but shredding all these absentee republican ballots from the fake post box outside has made me feel much better

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

i’ve drinks & the DMs are poppin tonight!

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Jacob Wohl’s hipster coffee shop is right across the street from my clinic! I’ve been supplying them with laxatives to put in all republican customer coffee orders for years. I’m 100% certain that every time Jacob goes there, he gets wicked shits all day long & requires a diaper.

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Today i’ve finally achieved my one and only twitter goal.

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

do not vote red, the color white dudes turn when they scream, stomp, & poop themselves in defense of violence & bigotry vote blue, the color we turn while holding our breath waiting for dems to stop them

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

I keep cracking myself up imagining 2018 centrist commentary when trump goes— or in 1945 europe, all like “oh sad, hitler died today. rip, war hero. keep it classy y’all, always respect the dead. pls do not celebrate or joke about a death just because your politics didn’t align.”

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

lol :)

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

my work here is done

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

@johncardillo lmao i dont think having punchable faces counts as being in bar fights

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

@Millie__Weaver i for one respect minnie’s dedication to getting publicly owned over public ownership

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

lmao

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Nothing says anti-authority like worshipping the cops and reporting accounts who upset you to the authorities

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

when you’re on a first-name basis with the manager & the cashier doesn’t ask how your day is going

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

my favorite way to troll fellow leftists is to approach a group of them & ask if cop dogs are cops

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Heroes exist all around us. They come in different forms and may at times seem invincible. John McCain’s tumor may be gone but its heroics will never be forgotten, nor will its impact on this nation. Because of that it is invincible in many ways. RIP McCain’s tumor!

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Numerous furious boys are searching for “Dr. Ford” posts in order to reply incorrectly that she’s not a doctor, lol As a renowned medical doctor myself, i’ve concluded: barnyard swine for slaughter have vastly more complex brains than conservative men, &they should switch places

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Lmaooo

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

7 years

ah, the two parties: 1. Fascists (kkk, cons, libs, libertarians) 2. Antifa (anarchists, communists, socialists, cuties, scholars, Romney)

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

lmao

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

the best part of clown sex is when he nuts & then blows up the condom and ties it into a balloon animal

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

the american government: lets let our own people die from preventable diseases, poverty, guns & other domestic terrorism while our military spends trillions on planes which can’t fly & warships which can’t shoot the rest of the world: weird flex but ok

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

SPOUSE: so, in short, you’re just too online. i want a divorce. what do you have to say? ME: (thinking about a wario’d version of hillary clinton) wallery clinton lol

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

the great dr. nifkin and i have been quite popular on fb & ig today,

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@cocksailor

6 years

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

@FoxBusiness MY WORD, a politician who listens to working class constituents instead of just donors??? please help me retrieve my monocle, i have dropped it in horror

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

every dog avi on this site is a trickster. not a single one is a real dog, not even the ones who just type barks

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Today... i am in mourning

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

I’m back motherfuckers

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

In Case You Missed It:

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

always a doctor, never a bride

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

dipshits who attempt to compare democratic socialists to nazis (who killed socialists) are lying on purpose to deflect from the fact that their own ideology is shared with neo-nazis

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

power walking into voting locations, shouting, demanding to know which lever i pull to vote for weed

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

Recently happened upon this enterpriser who does topless cryptocurrency education videos & i cant stop laughing at the concept of the dudes who crank hog to it

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

lmao remove the “create account” button

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@cocksailor

6 years

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

guess im gonna get deaded

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

friendly lady talking to me at the store: wow, it’s so nice to make a new friend out in public instead of online! haha me: yeah same! haha her: i’m becca btw me: hi becca, i’m diana, great to meet you her: you too! so hey... are you on any social media? me: her: me: her: me: no

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

fun fact, as a renowned doctor & proud Eagle Scout i am currently toasting marshmallows while smoking a joint

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

@AngryYTGuy @3thanshane seattle is real america, sorry that makes you so emotional

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

it’s several months later, so you know what that means: the facebook boomers have finally found my doctor posts

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

wealthy career propagandists like tucker carlson actively incite proudly bigoted conservatives who watch fox news, who keep committing acts of terrorism, assaulting & murdering innocent people all across the country cucker tarlson doesn’t deserve peace

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

i demand to read your sexless mormon scifi edward

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

@WraithSlighter @4lternate_facts When your sons are making tampons out of cottonwood trees and twigs

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

@michael1_1618 @psychwriter1515 exactly, complacent, self-congratulatory pseudo-moralists too gutless to stand for anything & complicit in oppression

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

the male gamer teens are an historic, complete & total social failure. we should roast & eat them while they’re still young & plump

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

lol

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

NO, HE’S GOT POOPY PANTS! MY DIAPER ISN’T EVEN POOPY IT IS PEEPEE! I’M POOPING NOW! I AM POOPING NOW! I AM POOPING! SO WHAT IF I MADE A POOPY LET’S SEE YOU POOP IN THE POTTY CENK

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

@FPT_Helium @charliekirk11 I’m a prouder eagle scout than you and i have more badges

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

AOC should wear a tiara to congress lmao (leftists get mad at me) oh. AOC should (confused) cosplay as Marx? (more leftists get mad at me) AOC sho— (liberals get mad at me) ok. ok (tents fingers) AOC should totally BOFA Trump (wild cheers, applause)

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diana thirst

@cocksailor

6 years

I’m bisexual. Which means im sexually attracted to basically anyone who reminds me of me

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diana thirst

@cocksailor