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@clvtno

2,100
Followers
349
Following
4,160
Media
35,059
Statuses

๐Ÿฆป๐Ÿพ

Joined February 2010
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
5 years
Me, everyday, on this godforsaken app.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
3 years
Sheโ€™s about to ruin the mood by asking โ€˜would you still love me if I was an antelope?โ€™
@TiiiKati
KATI๐Ÿฆ‹
3 years
This what I mean when I say I wanna cuddle
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
4 years
Marcus Rashford: I donโ€™t think kids should starve. Tories: Woah there, black boy. Whereโ€™s your dad?
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
3 years
Evictus by Paco Yabaggs
@Ottojizzmark
Otto Von Jizzmark
3 years
If Priti Patel released a perfume what would she name it?
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
4 months
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@EverythingLoso
LOSO
4 months
Kendrick clearly won the battle, but make no mistake โ€ฆ. Drake was doing the better rapping the whole time
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@clvtno
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3 years
The British media:
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@clvtno
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6 months
Black Americans when you tell them they look like Africans:
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@clvtno
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3 years
Probably the funniest sequence of tweets Iโ€™ve ever witnessed.
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@AmariBailey
ADHB ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ธ
3 years
Nah I canโ€™t believe man was selling monkeys on the TL
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
10 months
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@90sBabyShow
#90sBabyShow
10 months
When was England a proper country?
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
1 month
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Told my sister ยฃ100 for every 9 she gets in her GCSEs & this is what i woke up to at 08:52am.
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@clvtno
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5 years
White women when you describe them as โ€˜sassyโ€™:
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@clvtno
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3 years
โ€œWalk in da party, sportin Armani. Half of da crowdโ€™s all snortin ma charlieโ€
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
2 years
Thor watched his home planet get blown up, just after having to kill his sister, days after his dad died, then had to watch half of his people, his brother and his best friend get killed by Thanos like 15 minutes later, then got bullied by the Avengers for being depressed
@D4hz4hn
D๐Ÿ…ฐ๏ธhz๐Ÿ…ฐ๏ธn
2 years
Name someone who went through more pain then her, I'll wait
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
10 months
Inhaling secondhand crack at 8 am. By 3pm your manager is praising your โ€˜relentless workrate todayโ€™ meanwhile you havenโ€™t blinked in 5 hours.
@njoffline
nj.
10 months
thought I had seen it all
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@clvtno
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7 months
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@clvtno
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2 years
@NotClaudine 1st reveal: Nice, cornrows. The front is a mess but weโ€™ll see 2nd reveal: Oh cool, theyโ€™re shaving it. A nice shape up should clean it up nice 3rd reveal: That kid is finished
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
2 years
Ukrainians landing in the UK:
@Channel4News
Channel 4 News
2 years
Just over 100,000 Ukrainians have sought refuge in the UK But not all of them have found it easy to settle into a country where the ethnic diversity and cultural values are very different from Ukraine. @DarshnaSoni reports.
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@clvtno
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3 years
British people will see a family like โ€˜our fridge has been empty for 10 days, weโ€™re living off ยฃ20 a week and rely on food banksโ€™ and react like โ€˜if your really poor ye, โ€˜ow cums u got a fridgeโ€™
@hd_kamanyok
Vyรฉ Nรจg
3 years
Before moving to the UK I hadnโ€™t fully grasped how class-divided the British society was. I mean people literally hate the poor people here ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ
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@clvtno
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2 years
We need Hate Island. 12 people in a villa, hating on everything and each other. Biggest hater wins based on public votes after making declarations why the others donโ€™t deserve the money or happiness.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
1 year
When a glowing Victorian child climbs out of that mirror at 3am asking โ€˜daddy, whereโ€™s my porridge?โ€™ theyโ€™ll learn to never pick up random furniture again.
@boymolish
garรงon
1 year
Again, why am i never this lucky my home needs things tooooo๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚๏ธ
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
5 years
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@nypost
New York Post
5 years
Ex-rugby player Rowan Baxter, wife and 3 kids dead in 'horrific' apparent murder-suicide
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
8 months
When she completes her studies and finally applies for a job and gets offered ยฃ22-28K sheโ€™s going to turn into Thanos.
@Eyeswideopen69
The Purple Pimpernel
8 months
Teachers are there for the whole class petal. The most gifted certainly, but the least gifted are just as important. If you must sit 28 A-levels, hire a private tutor. And maybe get a social life eh โ€” sounds to me like you are being abused here.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
8 months
This reminded me of 2Pac at the end of Hit Em Up, so I had to do this:
@sarafinatoure
๐’๐€๐’๐’
8 months
who upset my uncle like this ???
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
5 years
Definitely a white person. โ€˜Mansโ€™ is always a giveaway. The correct term is โ€˜manโ€™ singular or plural.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
3 years
Black people at the pubs having to deal with โ€˜tel ya wot mate. Your Sterling boy is propa. Tell โ€˜im I said nice wunโ€™
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@clvtno
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5 months
All Drake can do now is call him an antisemite and hope for the best.
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@clvtno
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6 years
The key to Beyonceโ€™s success is that she has dinner with Jay Z every night.
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@clvtno
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2 years
Me, in the front row
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@mxmsworld
martha
2 years
People are really buying n Dubz tickets ?
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
1 year
We are in sampling hell. Producers are just looping their favourite songs from childhood. Go and find some Armenian folk music and reverse the guitar at 3:09 like your forefathers.
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@clvtno
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2 years
@SleeplesssInKy Your man said
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@clvtno
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1 year
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@JasonHe16294845
Jason H
1 year
@theashrb @SkyNews She can't afford powdered milk for her baby, says the woman wearing the Apple watch. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง
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@clvtno
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5 years
Things you can do while social distancing: โ€ข Clear all the things in your house โ€ข Clear all the things in your fridge โ€ข Smash all your plates from your rack โ€ข Clear all of your kids' toys โ€ข Clear all of your CD rack โ€ข Won't get none of your CD's back
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@clvtno
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4 years
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@clvtno
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1 year
These new Lucozade bottles have no trousers on.
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@clvtno
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1 year
UK General Election candidates:
@Blue_Footy
Vinceโ„ข
1 year
Cole Palmer: "Right wing and no.10 are my best two positions."
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
2 years
Brett when the new people came in. #TheCircleNetflix
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@clvtno
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6 months
@EmperorTChalla Boringggg!! Booo ๐Ÿ… ๐Ÿ… ๐Ÿ…๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿพ
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
3 years
Lionel Messi: Hey guys, Iโ€™m here to sign my new contract. Same as last time? Barca:
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
3 years
The monkey was looking at the camera like Jim from The Office.
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@clvtno
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4 years
@ruqaiya_h The lack of info around the culprit leads me to assume it was a white man, because they know the conversation it will open up if they reveal the description.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
2 years
Stormzy right now:
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@OK_Magazine
OK! Magazine
2 years
Maya Jama and Stormzy 'dating again' three years after shock break up
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@clvtno
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3 years
How can your type just be blonde. Djibril Cisse was blonde.
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@clvtno
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6 months
@mxmsworld Why did you start the tweet like that
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@clvtno
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2 years
Ancelotti raised his eyebrow, walked around the changing room like this, then walked back to the pitch:
@MadridXtra
Madrid Xtra
2 years
๐ŸŽ™| Ancelotti: โ€œHalf time team talk? No. They knew what to do, we did not talk.โ€
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
4 months
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
5 months
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@enscino
VI | fan acc
5 months
Michael's drivers license post & during Thriller He really was allergic to smiling that era๐Ÿ˜ญ
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
3 years
We need to protect Saka, Sancho and Rashford because the abuse theyโ€™re going to face is going to be something different.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
2 years
Alright so quick little thread/story on why this particular type of religious propaganda annoys me. Iโ€™ve been deaf for 11 years. It happened out of the blue (long story). My parents are religious. Me? Not so much but I respect the peace and guidance theyโ€™ve found in God.
@niacerise
N I A - C E R I S E
2 years
DEAF EARS OPENED THIS WEEKEND! Jesus still heals. The lady is texting us saying she is now waking up to her mums singing from downstairs rather than a vibrating alarm.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
2 years
Your Swedish friendโ€™s family eating dinner while you sit in the corner:
@lovettejallow
Lovetteโœ๐Ÿพ
2 years
Laughing at twitter finding out that Swedish people will not feed strangers ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ as a kid growing up here we knew to just go home around dinner time. On the flipside my mom would feed Swedish kids though.
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@clvtno
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5 years
@HogwartsFinest Iโ€™d tell the flight attendant they have a bomb
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@clvtno
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2 years
MPs are โ€˜forgettingโ€™ to pay millions in tax then coming on twitter telling you how to spread 78p over a week, we actually need to become violent.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
4 years
So itโ€™s โ€˜greedโ€™ when normal people want to level the playing field but โ€˜free marketโ€™ and โ€˜shrewd investmentโ€™ when billionaires try to further the gap between themselves and everyone else.
@nytimes
The New York Times
4 years
Amateur investors, perhaps propelled by a mix of greed and boredom, are looking to teach Wall Street a lesson. Theyโ€™ve come together on a popular Reddit page, Wall Street Bets, to push the stock of companies like GameStop โ€” up 1,700% โ€” to outrageous highs.
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@clvtno
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2 years
Bellingham, Saka and Sterling, carrying the nation.
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@clvtno
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4 months
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@AlanRosenbach
Alan Rosenbach
4 months
โ€œA lobbyist for Israelโ€ is like saying he is controlled by Jews.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
2 years
Kepa looking for a short pass option:
@ChessyHour
Chessy Hourยฎ โ˜†โ˜†
2 years
Really good
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
2 years
@NotClaudine I even forgot about that. He actually had the worst week ever, L after L.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
11 months
โ€˜Yeah can I get two tickets for, uh, the magic people of colour movieโ€™ โ€˜Whatโ€™s it called?โ€™
@GeeksOfColor
Geeks of Color
11 months
'The American Society of Magical Negroes' hits theaters on March 22, 2024.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
5 months
This song is the best song in the world when you hate your job.
@songsandsamples
Songs // แ”‘amples
5 months
Spaceship by Kanye West (2004)
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
4 years
@S7HMIDT He was banging hattys on a weekly basis against chimney sweeps and shoeshine boys while the pros were at war
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@clvtno
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4 years
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@clvtno
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1 year
Black people: Would be nice to go to a pub and feel comfortable ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ฅ๓ ฎ๓ ง๓ ฟ Twitter: Niggerspoons?
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@clvtno
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4 years
UK media when people ask the government to take responsibility for its actions.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
5 years
This nigga eating jeans.
@justbrad
gamay papi
5 years
At a restaurant and everyone is so comically bad at running it. Just waited 25 minutes for this โ€œtacoโ€
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
1 year
Jason Derulo has fallen down the stairs after being startled by the emergency alert.
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@clvtno
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2 years
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3 years
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
1 year
โ€˜8 inches and thickโ€™ and โ€˜my daughter committed suicide 3 weeks agoโ€™ within 20 seconds of chat up lines is generational hoe scaring.
@Human101Nature
Human Nature
1 year
When you have no game...
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
4 years
โ€ข The DJ always plays songs I like โ€ข No entry fee โ€ข No overpriced food or drink โ€ข If I get too drunk I can sleep exactly where I am โ€ข If I get tired I can sleep exactly where I am โ€ขIf my social battery runs out I can sleep exactly where I am โ€ข If I get bored I can sleep e-
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
6 years
Brexit negotiations.
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@clvtno
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1 year
Shark said:
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
1 year
Sampled his own classic and made another classic out of it. Kanye West really was Himโ„ข.
@songsandsamples
Songs // แ”‘amples
1 year
Comfortable by Lil Wayne ft Babyface (2008)
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
4 years
These male erotica โ€˜writersโ€™ will be like โ€˜...she BEGGED to be devoured by his big meaty veiny rod of destruction, so he impaled her with aplombโ€™ and wonder why women hate having sex with us men.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
5 years
So why are vegans always so angry then. You lot must be out here eating livid hummus.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
2 years
This is literally the last good thing about this country.
@RlCKYRAGE
โ’
2 years
thinking about how absurd a traditional english breakfast looks
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
5 years
[at a funeral] Priest: before we lay the beloved to rest, Iโ€™d like to invite their loved ones to say some words... [holds up a picture of the recently deceased]... sco pa tu mana?
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
3 years
Trust me something getting passed and it anit no football๐Ÿ˜‚ you can get stabbed in London if you donโ€™t turn up when the zoots getting sparked. Donnies get mad vex
@mr_igwe_
๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ’– Lord Of Chaos ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ‘‘
3 years
Most of you have never held a real gun,, and that's cool there's nothing wrong with that at all,,, but yal often tweet soooooooo gangster,,, ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜…
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
5 years
I love your comics from the bottom of my heart, @MrLovenstein .
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@clvtno
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5 years
Megan, โ€˜Ah ๐Ÿ‘…โ€™ twice if youโ€™re being held against your will.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
3 years
@AmariBailey Honestly, did a zoo rescue them? Did someone buy them? Are they living wild in Birmingham? We need answers.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
2 years
How many weeks? 2? โ€ฆ74? Be specific.
@MetroUK
Metro
2 years
The Governor of the Bank of England has said the cost of living crisis should start to ease within weeks.
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@clvtno
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3 years
@redview1975 @FreddieBailey96 Were you raised by rocks? You think everyone in retail works 7 days all the time?
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
2 years
@CapnKarlisle @The_Acumen Then bad to go back in time and lose her AGAIN.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
1 year
The big bag in the bag cupboard:
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
2 years
Now if that video is real, more power to them, and Iโ€™m happy for the lady in the video. However, I think the video is extremely ableist and the genre of โ€˜God fixed the disabled personโ€™ encourages ableism, and hampers any progress towards true acceptance and accessibility.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
2 years
Watching the current generation of young parents turn into the parents they spent so many years complaining about is very interesting.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
1 year
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@FoodPorn
FoodPorn: The Original
1 year
Using only food, tell me where you grew up
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
6 months
UK creatives respond normally to feedback challenge (impossible)
@CandiceC_W
๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฒCandice Carty-Williams๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฒ
6 months
This you? Come chat to me when your books are available in stores
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
2 years
Which brings me back to my issue(s) with the video above, I think by framing it as theyโ€™ve finally been โ€˜curedโ€™ - or โ€œhealedโ€ as they say, - they give the impression that being deaf/experiencing disability is โ€˜incorrectโ€™ or just a problem that needs to be fixed.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
3 years
@louisvuittonfly Same energy
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@clvtno
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4 years
ยฃ77k of taxpayer money on eyebrows and nothingโ€™s on fire.
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@clvtno
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3 years
@HarleyShah This is what I thought as well. The way it seemed so meticulously planned and how casual he was afterwards made me immediately think this was a second or third offence and he just happened to get caught this time
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
5 months
@SurfinCyn @isaacdecastrog โ€˜Never mentions antisemitismโ€™
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
5 years
Happy Wednesday, everyone.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
4 years
@helloalegria This is just one long threat.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
1 year
โ€œI made my man rice and chicken ๐Ÿ™‚โ€ Black twitter in the quotes:
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
3 years
They even tried to sneak in the hard R.
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@tom_bond
Aquaman on Fire
3 years
I feel like maybe this is a bad way to brand your housing development...
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
6 years
@ladbible *checks notifications*
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
3 years
If someoneโ€™s going to spend the next 25 years of their life paying off a six-figure loan, I think they have the right to be picky.
@mindofprospect
John Dutton
3 years
Buying a first house is not as unattainable as people want you to think. Young people are just too picky in where/ how they want to live
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
5 years
This is good, because once thereโ€™s a bunch of dead dogs, theyโ€™ll finally say enough is enough.
@nbcwashington
NBC4 Washington
5 years
A former Navy SEAL is training K-9s to attack school shooters. The dogs run toward the sound of gunfire, aren't distracted by people fleeing and can take down the shooter. The @NBC4ITeam reports
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
5 years
The roadworks started the day after this photo was taken, and have been going on ever since.
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@clvtno
๐Ÿฆ’๎จ€
3 years
You people were at school just wasting the teacherโ€™s time.
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