Clark 💯% DGAF ® @clark_gasm Twitter profile

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

2 years

And almost 4 years later, yeah he’s all grown up. 😂❤️

Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

#ItsBeginningToLookAlotLike I adopted a new puppy from the shelter! 🐶

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

Choose the correct position. #SafeSexTipsDuringQuarantine

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

I #WouldDefinitelyHaveSex with you but there’s one tiny problem.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

#ItsBeginningToLookAlotLike I adopted a new puppy from the shelter! 🐶

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

#DuringSexDontWorryAbout social distancing. We got this.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

#BeforeWeHaveSexWeShould fill out all the consent paperwork that’s required for a one night stand now.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

As a Catholic #MyFirstSexualExperience carried a lot of guilt. Fortunately since the priest was there he told me it was ok. 😬

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

#IShouldntBringThisUp but if you’re tryna tell Jesus to step outside he’s gonna whoop your ass.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

We signed the mutual informed consent document and #ThenWeStartedHavingSex *kidding. We got sloppy drunk and fucked like circus monkeys in the bathroom.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

3 years

Stimmy check just hit! #4WordsBetterThanSex

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

#SexSoBadThat her husband wasn’t even mad about it.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

3 years

Going to dinner first. I mean who the actual fuck thought it was a good idea to get bloated on pasta and bread sticks, then get naked. 🤦🏼‍♂️ sex first, trust me. #RookieSexMoves

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

We had a kitchen phone. With a long cord. #RevealYourAgeWithoutNumbers

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

Her husband answers the door. #SignsTheSexWillBeBad

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

Ask if you get extra credit for that English assignment she gave today. #WorstThingToDoDuringSex

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

Can’t. Busy masturbating. #SexWithAnExIn3Words - it’s just like being married again. 🤦🏼‍♂️

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

3 years

No matter how horny you are, that’s not for your butt. #WhatNotToDoDuringSex

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

Ask if they have accepted Jesus as their personal Lord and savior. 😂 #HowIKeepPeople6FeetAway

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

#IShouldntBringThisUp nobody gaf about your kpop fandom. Stick to the tag.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

Shit! Forgot my antibiotic. 🤦🏼‍♂️ #WorstThingsToYellOutAfterSex

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

You think your husband would mind picking you up? Uber has surge pricing right now. #DumbRequestsAfterSex

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

Saturday morning was for cartoons! And Bill Cosby wasn’t in prison. #RevealYourAgeWithoutNumbers

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

#IShouldntBringThisUp but I’m pretty sure you’re doing that wrong.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

#ImSoHappyIGrewUp to live a simple life and enjoy the little things.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

2020, I ain’t scared. Lol. #DuringSexDontWorryAbout Covid-19. We got this boo.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

3 years

Unpopular Opinion: Adam West is the one true Batman.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

Apologize for the surprise anal. You shouldn’t have assumed she’d like it just because her sister does. #ImpoliteThingsToDoAfterSex

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

Cheap wine is just fine. #LifeAdviceIn5Words

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

#IGotHurtDuringSexBecause her husband came home waaay early. 😐 Paris, Texas? WTF I assumed she meant Paris, France. 🤦🏼‍♂️

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

Calling your spouse on speaker to pick you up. I hate speaker phones. Soooo rude. #ImpoliteThingsToDoAfterSex

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

I was dating an English teacher and #IGotHurtDuringSexBecause apparently using a double negative as a safe word was a bad idea.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

Remind him your parents won’t let you stay out past 9p till you turn 15. #WorstThingToDoDuringSex

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

Same as pre-divorce sex. Stay at least 6’ apart and scream fuck you at each other. #SafeSexTipsDuringQuarantine

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

7 years

Sat next to a cute family at church yesterday. The little girl yells, mom I smell beer! It's not beer it's whiskey. Read a book stupid kid.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

Snitch? Nah. I let him do his thang. #SnitchOnTheElfOnTheShelf

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

She said, “it’ll be ok just this once”. ‘Course it wasn’t #AndImNotEvenSorry . I got this guy.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

Regret from sending “that pic” impulsively. #ProblemsIDidntHave20YearsAgo Getting film developed was a cooling off period. 😂😂

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

You think I’m having sex? 😂 #SexGoneWrongIn5Words

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

I’ll pull out #WhatISaidDuringDrunkSex

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

3 years

Don’t forget the foreplay. A good beaver rub is always nice. #WhatNotToDoDuringSex

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

3 years

Prison. Prison is the #WorstPlaceForSex . Don’t drop the soap.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

Community college, fuck student loans. #GraduationAdviceIn5Words

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

8 years

Only thing better than buying a new @Lamborghini is your neighbor buying a new #Huracan . Let's ride...

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

3 years

#SoTheLastTimeIHadSex I didn’t realize I was signing up for a mortgage and car payments.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

7 years

He’s calling from inside the house. #ThingsILearnedFromTheMovies

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

3 years

#WeHadSexAndNow I’m gonna take a nap. Thanks boo.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

I’ll be needing #MySexTape a little later. 😂😂 Sex tape, duct tape. Whatever.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

Sax in the City. #ChangeAnyVowelsInAMovie

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

#SexSoBadThat there wasn’t a wet spot to sleep in.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

3 years

#WeCanHaveSexOr we can have sex. Either one is fine with me. 🤷🏼‍♂️

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

#NeverFeelGuiltyFor standing up to support causes you believe in.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

I texted her, “I want your pussy in the shower tonight” and found out #TheWorstSexualExperiences can start with a misunderstanding.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

Twenty bucks is twenty bucks. #ElfOnAShelfIn5Words

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

I #WouldDefinitelyHaveSex with you AND I brought you a gift. ❤️

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

Safe Pandemic Sex positions. #FunThingsToPanicAbout

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

#InThe80sWe belonged to a Breakfast Club and looked Pretty in Pink.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

#BeforeWeHaveSexWeShould call your husband so he knows you’re gonna be late. 😏😂

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

@Mendo @RobinhoodApp Let the people trade GME, AMC, NOK and NAKD and the rest you corporate shills. After I close my positions on these I’ll never trade another nickel on Robinhood AND I’m going to make it my mission in life to spread the word these jokers are just beholden corporate lackeys.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

Some “arrangements” were made #ThenWeStartedHavingSex

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

If you don’t move I’m going to set you on fire. #ThoughtsWhileGroceryShopping

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

A lotttttt of pregnancy tests after all this quarantine. #SomethingPositiveAbout2020

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

You got change for a $20? #WorstThingsToYellOutAfterSex

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

#SexSoQuick obviously....

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

3 years

#ItIrritatesMeWhenPeopleSay nothing but negative things these days. So instead of the negativity, here are some topless chicks in short skirts.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

White Privilege Castle. #RuinABrandWithOneWord

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

I love you #WhatISaidDuringDrunkSex

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

You have EIGHT kids? I thought you said you hate kids. 🤦🏼‍♂️ #WorstThingsToYellOutAfterSex

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

Homeschooling during the time of Covid #NeedsATwoDrinkMinimum

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

Screw your word limit. #SomethingWickedIn3Words

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

#ItReallyTurnsMeOnWhen we just let go and play like we’re kids again.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

Y’all know trending hashtags like this are why we can’t have nice things. #EatTheBabies

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

#SocialMediaSideEffects No feeling, waist down from Excessive toilet time.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

1 year

@jess_solx Ima just leave this right here y’all. Apparently her “dad” has a lot of kids. That all made the exact same tweet. 😂😂 family unity af. Lol. SMFH

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

#IWishICould rescue every one.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

I once dated a girl with a twin and people would ask me how I could tell them apart. It was simple, Jill painted her nails a deep red and Bob had a cock.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

Pick the wrong pet name. #AnnoyYourSignificantOther

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

7 years

Your tooth is so white. #MakeAnInsultPolite

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

#WorstThingToDoAfterSex forget to mention your Groupon.

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

Icing cupcakes. #XmasUsesForCumSocks

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

Waking up to pee at 3am ffs. #ProblemsIDidntHave20YearsAgo

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

Swallowing #AlternativesToChildren

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

Committing to healthier living. #Sexy2020Resolutions *Strictly vegan bukake

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

No one has ever said, #ImSoHappyIGrewUp . Ever. Literally no one. 😂

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

50 Shades of Cray. #DescribeYourExIn5WordsOrLess

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

I remember getting up at 7am for cartoons that ran till 12p. Fat Albert was last. #ImShowingMyAge

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

Always Practice safe pandemic sex. #SelfQuarantineIn5Words

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

There are lots of snakes on the plane. #LameAssSpoilers

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

7 years

People that are rude to waitstaff. #AnnoysMeMoreThanAnything

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

#AtMyHighSchoolReunion I finally asked out the hot blonde cheerleader I never would in HS. Turns out she’d been tried for murdering her first husband. #truestory

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

6 years

Please, park your cart RIGHT. FUCKING. THERE. #ThoughtsWhileGroceryShopping

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

7 years

Parking is part of #ProperDrivingEtiquette

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

5 years

#IfIWereTheOppositeSex I am! Oh. Wait. I thought it said the opposite OF sex. 🤦🏼‍♂️

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

Getting bone-in watermelon. #WorseThingsThanWearingAMask

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Clark 💯% DGAF ®

@clark_gasm

4 years

#YouMightHaveAValentineBut tomorrow I’ll have $20.00. —-You—— ——Me——- $129.00 Roses $300.00 Hooker $ 79.00 Wine $100.00 Coke $ 212.00 Dinner ============ ============ $ 420.00 $400.00