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Chris Taylor Profile
Chris Taylor

@christotaylo

2,836
Followers
995
Following
1,855
Media
19,670
Statuses

Manic Tweet Preacher

Joined April 2021
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
1 month
Found out about an Algerian cafe in Finsbury Park. It only sells four sandwiches, each costs £5. It's one of the best feeds I've had in ages.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
22 days
Harry Maguire winning a big header is one of the most beautiful sights in the natural world. It's like seeing a breaching humpback whale.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
3 months
The space Rice gave Hjulmand there just goes to show that Mainoo doesn't have the discipline to play as a 6.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
3 years
Undeniably the weirdest club in the world.
@RangersFC
Rangers Football Club
3 years
💙
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
1 month
Easy to point a finger at people like Farage, Tommy Robinson, Oakshott, Laurence Fox et al, but the blame is as much on the BBC for treating fringe crankism as a national issue, and the two mainstream parties for letting the far right dictate the political landscape.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
3 years
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
4 months
Why's he quitting then.
@BBCNews
BBC News (UK)
4 months
Giving up is not in the Scouse dictionary - Klopp
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 months
Shut the fuck up and watch the match.
@xGPhilosophy
The xG Philosophy
2 months
Austria’s last minute header was worth 0.94(xGOT). In other words, a goalkeeper would only be expected to save the effort 6% of the time.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
3 years
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 years
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@amirkingkhan
Amir Khan
2 years
Lovely to meet Sir Alex Ferguson at Manchester Old Trafford Stadium. Best known for managing Manchester United from 1986 to 2013. He is widely regarded as one of the greatest football managers of all time @ManUtd
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
1 year
Maguire should do a Smalling. Fuck off to Italy, win a few headers against the geriatrics Serie A has as top scorers these days, and the fans will hail him as the second coming of Alessandro Nesta. Live in a nice villa in Tuscany or somewhere. Eat pasta. Enjoy the life.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
9 months
People in football telling fans how to support is fucking nauseating. Klopp, Guardiola, and that Newcastle owner have all done it in recent weeks despite being fully aware of the reasons why atmosphere isn't what it once was. They are more part of the problem than fans are.
@BBCMOTD
Match of the Day
9 months
🗣 "Give your ticket to somebody else". Jurgen Klopp said he was "not overly happy" with the atmosphere at Anfield during Liverpool's 5-1 EFL Cup win over West Ham. 😬 #BBCFootball #LFC
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
22 days
Jonny Evans coming off the bench v Fulham continues his proud record of appearing in every match day squad since October 1937, over 4000 consecutive games.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
6 months
Peter Savile did this on an Umbro kit years ago, and no one pretended to give a shit. But we're a decade stupider and more spiteful, so obviously all the cranks have assembled to do what they do.
@nikefootball
Nike Football
6 months
A playful update to the 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 of St. George appears on the collar to unite and inspire.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
3 years
Reminder that the greatest car ever is the Fiat Panda Italia 90.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
3 years
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 years
Dunno, man. He never leathered a Crystal Palace fan as far as I know.
@FBAwayDays
Football Away Days
2 years
Pele doing everything your favourite player does, first. The King of Football 👏🤴🏿
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
1 year
@judeinlondon I worked a wrap party for The IT Crowd. Fielding behaved atrociously. Lifting up dresses and skirts of the women there. Being completely inappropriate. A horrendous man.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
26 days
Liverpool fans getting angry at an unambitious midfielder, turning down a chance to win trophies to stay at a club he loves, is it?
Martin Zubimendi is an unambitious, useless, time wasting bottle job. Enjoy the mountains you bellend. Okay, moving on.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
5 months
They're all still in Wembley clapping the players off.
@j2emo
Dai Hunt (Parody)
5 months
Where have the Coventry fans gone ?
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
3 years
Bit more about this. Last January my missus had her phone snatched in town. We managed to trace it to an exact address in Salford, but the police refused to go as they "can't just accuse people of crimes they've not committed" (presumably the MEN's job...)
@MENnewsdesk
Manchester News MEN
3 years
The faces of 36 football fans police want to speak to after violent protesters forced their way onto Old Trafford pitch
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
1 year
Here's someone who's never stepped foot in a city centre Northern pub.
@mmtowns
Megan Townsend
1 year
WHO IS SELLING MEAT AND CHEESE THEYVE SHOPLIFTED 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 years
This, the Northern Quarter party bike, and the ball pool cocktail bar signal the death of Manchester. We've lost, people. The Printworks has won. Creeping Yonnerification is complete. Here lies Tony Wilson, now a luxury apartment block with Blockbuster theme bar.
@McrFinest
Manchester’s Finest
2 years
Coming soon. There’s a new dick waffle cafe that’s opening in the Northern Quarter this Thursday 👀
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Chris Taylor
3 years
Interesting to see how many people think a few hundred fans occupying their pitch at their stadium is a greater crime than the theft of a football club. Part of this weird British submission to power and wealth. Those who have must deserve it, those without, know your place.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
3 years
Anderson came on in the fifth minute of stoppage time in extra time of a Champions League final and scored his penalty whilst eating a 20 piece mcnugget box. He was a true athlete. A psychological marvel.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
1 year
@GMPCityCentre Yes. You have successfully taught this man not to smoke heroin. Congratulations on your progressive attitude to drug abuse.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
1 year
If Murdoch had tried to buy United now instead of in '98, we'd have dickheads at OT waving Australian flags saying we need him to win the CL. The number of fans willing to sell what remains of our soul for vague assumptions of future success makes me ill.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
3 years
August.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
1 year
This is heroic stuff. The way the media and politicians have spun JSO into the bad guys tells you everything you need to know about how this country operates.
@JustStop_Oil
Just Stop Oil
1 year
💬 Dr Patrick Hart, 37, a GP from Bristol, who took part in the action, said: “I am doing this because it’s my duty as a doctor. The climate crisis is the greatest health crisis humanity has ever faced. People are dying now and more will die every day unless we stop new oil, gas
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Chris Taylor
10 months
Singing about Hillsborough is always wrong, but somehow Luton fans singing it feels even more egregious. Fought their way back from non-league to the PL for this? Just so they can sing about the deaths of 97 innocent fans? Really weird, man. Really, really weird.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
3 years
@trevor8sinclair @talkSPORT No. Literally no one else thinks that.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
1 month
@NOELY1982 I'm not an accountant, mate.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
1 year
Soccer AM reinforced all the worst aspects of our football culture. A celebration of witless, laddish homogeneity. A Derby fan scraping dogshit off his adidas Gazelle using a Courteeners CD while FHM's remaining reader does the Easy! Easy! chant at the tits of a sad looking woman
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 years
I have found a bar in Porto that sells bottles of Super Bock for 90c. That's 76p. It is full of pissed old men with moustaches and leather jackets. A whole bar of elderly, Iberian Kevin Websters. I never want to leave.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 years
Can't believe Burnley have flown back from Norwich.
@TomYoungSJ
Tom Young
2 years
There is currently a plane flying over the Etihad with a banner that reads: ‘British To Be Minority By 2066’. Words fail me. #MCILIV
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 years
He was never a hero, he's a representative of a union and works solely for the benefit of his members. The twee brigade dropping him because his views don't exactly align with theirs is so, so typical.
@bmay
Brendan May
2 years
Oh dear, from hero to zero for me. It was nice while it lasted.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
1 month
@dannyschof81 Get beneath the glitz, it's just normal, down to earth people.
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Chris Taylor
2 years
I always find this line of argument revealing. Listing Manchester United alongside a shop and a building shows how they see football and support. Passive consumers, blind to the aspects of football that make it so different to everything else.
@Oletrain
P
2 years
Qatari's ownership in UK : - Olympic village, London - The Shard - Harrods - Heathrow Airport - Credit Suisse Office, London - Canary Wharf Group - Royal Dutch Shell - Sainsbury - Knightsbridge Take your deluded woke activism somewhere else because we are all feeling Qatari.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
5 months
Real Madrid are probably the best thing to happen to Manchester United fans post-2013.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 years
The club are going to SIUUUUUUUUU him?
@lauriewhitwell
Laurie Whitwell
2 years
Manchester United exploring terminating Cristiano Ronaldo’s contract. Talking with lawyers over legal action. #MUFC @TheAthleticFC
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Chris Taylor
1 year
There'll be nothing to celebrate if this deal goes through. It'll be as sad a day for the club as 12th May 2005. Any joy at the Glazers finally going will be tempered by what's replacing them.
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Chris Taylor
2 years
A flag celebrating Sky Sports News reporting a takeover and some transfers. They've really summed up the romance of it all.
@SkySports_Keith
Keith Downie
2 years
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Chris Taylor
3 years
From a position of disliking these protesters, I'm now on their side. The treatment of them by the general public is an illustration of ugly, spiteful and divided our society has become. Citizens using violence against peaceful protesters is doing the state's work for them.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
11 months
Saudi Arabia v Qatar, and City Group v Red Bull in the multi-club ownership derby. Truly a night to savour in Europe's elite competition.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
3 years
I'm absolutely devoed Solskjaer didn't work out. That there are people celebrating his departure shows the huge disconnect between proper United fans and the bellends on here. Watching Ole sink over the past few months has been awful, and part of me is relieved it's all over.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 years
Jack Grealish, sadly sipping at a jagerbomb alone all night in Albert Schloss.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
1 year
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 years
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@brclothwrites
Author Benjamin Ryan
2 years
What’s the most unbelievable name you’ve ever come across in real life?
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 years
Football clubs shouldn't be able to be bought and sold like any other asset. They represent a community and a shared experience for countless thousands of people. Families, memories, stories, interwoven since 1878. Qatar may buy some legal documents, but they can never own that.
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Chris Taylor
3 years
Manchester United's 1996 Cup final suits were far, far worse than Liverpool's.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
3 years
It's tempting to bin football off as it gets ever more immoral and vulgar, however having spent the past three decades using it as a substitute for a personality I've backed myself into a corner somewhat.
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Chris Taylor
2 years
I don't know why Newcastle fans are so angry about a dry train. I thought they liked pretending to be from Saudi Arabia?
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Chris Taylor
5 months
Why the fuck would you compromise on this sort of shit? There's no give and take. All English club football should be played in England. That's it.
@GraceOnFootball
Grace Robertson 🏳️‍⚧️
5 months
I know it's not "the same thing", but I feel like the compromise for me would be to play the League Cup semis and final outside the UK?
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Chris Taylor
3 years
@TotallyMUFC It isn't a nuanced take. It's bullshit.
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Chris Taylor
3 years
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@ManUtd
Manchester United
3 years
In a season like no other, the one constant has been your support: for the team, for our local community and for each other. Here's to a better future with 𝘆𝗼𝘂 ❤ #MUFC #ReUnited
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Chris Taylor
3 years
He doesn't press. His ego is too big. He's too old. Journalists are falling over themselves to make up reasons why United shouldn't have signed Ronaldo, yet none of them mention the actual huge question mark hanging over him. Really odd.
@IndyFootball
Indy Football
3 years
Cristiano Ronaldo’s giant ego leaves little room to inspire Manchester United’s next generation | ✍️ @TonyEvans92a
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Chris Taylor
2 years
For the avoidance of doubt, and to reassure the countless people in my mentions screaming hypocrisy, I also do not want United to be owned by the British Empire from between 1815 and 1914, who I agree also had a terrible human rights record.
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Chris Taylor
3 years
I got woken up at 4am by a group of lads using the side of a bin as a drum while they sang Viva Ronaldo for about 20 minutes straight out on Portland Street.
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Chris Taylor
3 years
That was fucking wank, despite Ronaldo's 47 goals scored across all competitions last year.
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Chris Taylor
1 year
It's a real shame for Newcastle fans. One of the clubs most connected to their community is now the plaything of a country half a world away. The bigger shame is that so many of their fans either don't see it or don't care, blinded by vague promises of future success.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 years
"Pint of sausages please, mate."
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Chris Taylor
1 year
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 years
It's far, far too early to talk about the end of an era for Liverpool. Largely because I'm not sure one league title in seven years even counts as an era.
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Chris Taylor
4 months
Varane signalled a shift in policy from signing shit defenders who were always injured to signing classy defenders who were always injured. He opened the door to the possibility of signing classy defenders who could stay fit. The man was an astronaut.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
1 month
@Mearcat655 Things are cheaper in other places, that's true
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
1 month
We've absolutely fucked it, haven't we? I don't know how you go about mending a schism in society like this. But it would help our politicians and media actually made a case for immigration, rather than just taking it in turns to blame them for fucking everything.
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Chris Taylor
3 years
Does anyone over 50 remember anything at all? They all just bumble about chatting absolute shit about stuff that never happened, but they read on Facebook.
@thellen72
Trevor
3 years
Does anyone over 50 remember schools closing for the weather. I certainly don’t.
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Chris Taylor
1 year
What a dickhead.
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@cam_nufc
Cam
1 year
Footballers need educating all of them are thick as fuck
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Chris Taylor
4 months
Maturing as a football fan is probably binning off an account called "Casual Ultra Official" as well, tbh.
@thecasualultra
𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐔𝐥𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐎𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥
4 months
Maturing as a football fan is being able to admit “Marching On Together” is probably one of the best songs in English football. Just listen to that. Superb noise from the Leeds fans last night… 😍🎶🤍
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Chris Taylor
1 year
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Can you recall a sports moment where an athlete displayed elite athleticism?
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Chris Taylor
2 years
@DelphinePalmow1 So he pretended to order pizzas he didn't want, and cancelled before he paid and they were made? What a colossal waste of his time.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 years
🤷‍♂️
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Chris Taylor
3 years
I both do and don't want United to sign Ronaldo while simultaneously being arsed and not arsed if city do. Conflicting times.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 years
@AndyMitten Knock it down, build it 20 miles away, leave Gary Neville with a useless hotel overlooking a huge pile of rubble.
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Chris Taylor
3 years
Threw someone out of the pub yesterday and he called me a "stripy twat" in a "four foot wide shithole". Sometimes you just have to hold your hands up and admit you've been done.
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Chris Taylor
2 years
I like this. "We'll do what we want" and what they want to do is have a mooch around Aldi, which is something I can fully relate to.
@FBAwayDays
Football Away Days
2 years
Wigan fans in Blackburn Aldi before the game at Ewood Park this evening.
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Chris Taylor
1 year
In August, these people marched behind a banner with Ratcliffe's face on it. Now his purchase of the club would be the death of it. What's clear here is that they don't know what they want, don't know what's going on, and stand for nothing. A rabble.
@Gerry_Deakin
Gerry Deakin
1 year
I'd be very, very worried if it wasn't the Sun reporting it. But if it's true, RIP Manchester United and the 18 years of #GlazersOut battle. We've settled for Glazers in + a few years of a Chelsea fan running us until he kicks it then we're in the hands of Ineos shareholders. 🕊️
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Chris Taylor
5 months
They put it on the floor in the middle of a fucking corridor. You're allowed to step on it, you silly dickheads.
@centregoals
CentreGoals.
5 months
Jude Bellingham made sure to avoid stepping on the Manchester City badge as a gesture of respect. 👏🏻
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Chris Taylor
3 years
Hell of a week for the Anfield Wrap. Giving it the Tory Tory Man United shouts on Thursday, declaring undying love for a supporter of fascist Jair Bolsonaro on Sunday. I can't keep up with these brave guardians of socialism!
@TheAnfieldWrap
The Anfield Wrap
3 years
Love you so, so much @Alissonbecker 😍
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Chris Taylor
1 year
Brighton fan after the game. "You just sat back and tried to hit on the break. I couldn't watch that every week." Mate. You were in division 3 twenty minutes ago. I reckon you'd cope.
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Chris Taylor
2 years
I love Dishoom in Manchester. The food is good, nothing spectacular, but consistent and solid, but it's such a lovely place to sit. They've done it up so well. But honestly, fuck queuing for food. If there's three people in front of me at Greggs, I go elsewhere.
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Liam B
2 years
I will never understand people that queue for Dishoom when London has hundreds of amazing Indian restaurants.
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Chris Taylor
4 months
@TheAnfieldWrap
The Anfield Wrap
4 months
Quote this tweet with your favourite goal from the Jürgen Klopp era. Go!
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Chris Taylor
3 years
While no football expert, I feel like Solskjaer probably needed better tactics than happy birthday matt busby.
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Chris Taylor
3 years
I'm not convinced by Zidane tbh, but I'm 100% behind having a manager in charge who headbutted someone in a WC final.
@TimesSport
Times Sport
3 years
The Glazer family has also instructed club officials to further accelerate attempts to persuade Zinedine Zidane to take over the managerial position mid-season, increasing United’s financial offer to the three-times Champions League winning coach.
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Chris Taylor
1 year
Correct decision reached incorrectly with a bullshit statement to conclude things.
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Chris Taylor
10 months
Lifestyle choice. Like being homeless or displaced is the same as going to the gym, or veganism. I can't stand these fuckers. Evil, nihilistic jackals. Irreparably damaging the country to mirror their own fascistic fantasies and to line their pockets.
@SuellaBraverman
Suella Braverman MP
10 months
The British people are compassionate. We will always support those who are genuinely homeless. But we cannot allow our streets to be taken over by rows of tents occupied by people, many of them from abroad, living on the streets as a lifestyle choice. 1/4
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Chris Taylor
2 years
Man's never been to Ireland.
@keithposting
big slug 🇵🇸
2 years
no one has ever looked like this before
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Chris Taylor
2 years
@MaddockMirror @G_mble9 No excuse. Here's an excuse.
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Chris Taylor
2 years
Celebrate the end of the Glazers, have a day off to nurse the hangover, then back to the business of hating our owners. It's just swapping one set of bastards for another.
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Chris Taylor
2 years
He's basically described most of the journalists at The Athletic here, but with boxing not football.
@JackPittBrooke
Jack Pitt-Brooke
2 years
Middle class guys who watch two fights a year and who still tweet their ‘scorecards’, as well as a lot of knowing analysis lines they hear on commentary… tonight is your night. Enjoy it. You’ve earned it.
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Chris Taylor
2 years
He's criticising the Glazers to force a move, not because he gives a fuck about the ownership of the club. He played for a Glazer-owned United from 05 to 09, and rejoined a Glazer-owned United last season. He doesn't give a fuck.
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Chris Taylor
2 years
I can't help thinking people would be a lot less frustrated about this sort of thing if they just didn't read a load of made up transfer bullshit on Twitter.
@unitedator
Unitedator
2 years
Can’t wait for the new season! Roll on August #MUFC
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Chris Taylor
3 years
"I'm Marcus Rashford, 23 year-old, black man from Withington and Wythenshawe, South Manchester. If I have nothing else I have that." You'll do for me, kid. ✊
@MarcusRashford
Marcus Rashford
3 years
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Chris Taylor
9 months
"If you are not in the right shape, give your ticket to somebody else" What a dickhead.
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Chris Taylor
1 year
@White1982Red @judeinlondon Spoke to a couple of the women involved, told my boss, then went back to my minimum wage job satisfied that should I mention the story 15 years later on Twitter, I'd be able to defend myself from pointed questions from bellends asking what I'd done about it.
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Chris Taylor
3 months
@Independent Another reason to scrap them then.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 years
Fittingly, this makes me want to kill myself.
@NQManchester
Northern Quarter MCR
2 years
It’s inside a new bar that’s opening this weekend called Disorder, which pays homage to legendary Manchester band Joy Division.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
1 year
Just Stop Oil targeting an illegal dog fight is hysterically funny.
@GilesGraeme
Graeme
1 year
@JustStop_Oil How about you do it in the middle of a boxing ring, on the track during the British Grand Prix or an illegal dog fight. Then i might listen. Until then i will continue to work in oil and gas (currently working on one of the biggest gas projects in Europe for the record)👍
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
3 years
Newcastle are getting torn apart here. Much like an outspoken critic of their owners would be.
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@christotaylo
Chris Taylor
2 years
@sportbible It's been 11 years since you started your Twitter account, and you still haven't done a good tweet.
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