Mathogothanio @chapo_ndengu Twitter profile

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Mathogothanio

6 months

Hi KOX family, due to the steady increase in prices of commodities in our industry, we have to adjust our fumigation prices to sustain business. A re-tweet to help me reach my clients and potential clients will be greatly appreciated 🤲.

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Smashing and ignoring each other on the TL>>>>>>

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Told my mum to look at things from my perspective akaniuliza kama hiyo perspective yangu hainiambii nihamie kwangu😭😭😂😂

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Lakini being ghosted by someone you were catching feelings for is top tier pain😂😂

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Upepo imeenda na body count😂😂😂😂😂

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Me reading for my exams. Brain: Don't say it! Don't say it! Don't say it! Don't say it! Don't say it! Don't say it! Don't say it! Mouth :Ikuje vile itakuja imagine, kwani ntajiua juu ya exams?

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

JKUAT Juja base za pombe hufunguliwa mapema kuliko cyber za kuprint assignment 😂😂😂

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Watu wa I'm bad at texting hujiona intellectuals😕😕

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

I've just choked on a fish bone.Karibu nikufe 😂😂and I can tell you this, tomorrow isn't promised. LET HIM HIT

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

God, is it because we call our president Kamwana?

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

We really used to text "Mwaaaaaaah" juu hatukuwa na emojis😂😂 God delivered us.

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

When he keeps calling you babe in a room full of potential husbands :

Jabez

@Jabali_Jr

5 years

Huyu naye nini inamsumbua

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Am I a joke to you?

LAIKA

@laikasnewlife

5 years

Name a combo that's better than rice and beans. I'll wait 😅😆

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Unakumbusha a nigga hitting on you that he has a girlfriend anakwambia "hiyo ingekuwa inakuhusu ningekwambia me mwenyewe "😂😂😂

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Beshte yangu amedate this nigga all her campus life halafu vile wamemaliza ninja tells her he can't settle, he needs time to find himself!😂😂😂 5 years!!!!

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

4 years

"Wabebe wote" is how men tell each other they look nice

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Wanaume wa Kenya huona nikama kukushikia handbag one minute itawapee leprosy.

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Ukidate skinny nigga the only thing you can steal is their socks juu hoodie haiwezi pita kwa boobs😂😂😂

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Ushawahi skia mama Kamau aki shout kwake? Ama mimi ndo mmenifanya mwenda wazimu nipige kelele kwa hii ploti kila siku?

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Nigga who wants to hit :Goodnight beautiful 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 Nigga hitting it:Kalale unasumbua😂

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Me on the road saying "akinigonga atanilipa" VS me when I see the car still accelerating

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Skinny niggas always wanna prove to a BBW they can handle her. "Nikalie uone sitavunjika "😂😂

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

4 years

Maybe uko single because no one recommended you to anyone 😂😂😂😂

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Him:I miss you My brain:Just tell him you miss him too Mouth :Umeambia wangapi hivi leo? 😂😂

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Watching your parent ail is a different kind of pain. Fuck!

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Lmao,niggas don`t even talk to women kwa mat nowadays😂😂

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

When you don`t go outside kuona kama stima zimepotea kila mahali:

Isis

@leftoff_yrn

5 years

Bomboclaat!!!

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Pia mimi huogopa mat ikwame tuambiwe tuskume😩

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

So my cousin stole a hoodie from her boyfriend without him knowing , akaenda nayo class and one of her class mates be like "hiyo inakaa kama ya boyfriend yangu" in short, that's how they found out they fucking with the same nigga 😂😂😂😂😂

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@chapo_ndengu

4 years

Hakuna kitu mzuri kama kujitafutia pesa zako.

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Huyu Diana wa Being Bahati amepata flat tyre and now she is stranded and she has cameramen surrounding her 😂😂😂 Si wamsaidie

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

We said"nafeel sijui aje" is an actual feeling and every one should understand what it means.

ALLAN_NYASH

@AllanNyash

5 years

English : I'm bored Kiswahili : nahisi ninauchovu Kenyans : nafeel tu sijui aje

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Haha, ukidate mtu ako campus utaona movies kwa laptop hadi usahau vile TV inakaa. 😂😂

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Haha, wewe unajua Achieng alikuwa Group of schools na hujui baba ya mtoto wako ni nani. Ffs!

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Niggas playing hard to get nowadays,,who tf taught them their worth?

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

If you don't have a specific sufuria for chai, you belong to the streets.

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@chapo_ndengu

2 years

The joy of buying that furniture/appliance you've been eyeing for your kahouse>>>>>

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Vile Thao huisha ukishaivunja 😒

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Lmao,we just trynna nut sio quantum physics

ARTHUR FLECK

@blaqjoker91

5 years

Fuck her mind first before you fuck her body.

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

What if he's cheating on you to improve his stroke? Forgive him sis.

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Deleting the chat does not change the fact that you was ignored beloved

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

When you broke and you are out with friends or something even if they paying you can't enjoy shit I swear.

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Lmao, you should have told her to shower before sitting on your face.

TOMTOM

@Theyha8ukiniita

5 years

Msee ukianza kufura uso shida ni?

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Huyu ameuliza mandem why he didn't get her anything for her birthday.. And the guy said"I didn't realize I owed you anything for being born"😂😂😂😂

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Lmao, my lil brother is asking me kwani watu huolewa at what age ndo watoke kwao 😂😂😭😭 Someone come marry me because I'm embarrassed pls. 😂

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Macho haziko red sana, Wacha kutense!

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

2 years

New poster who dis?! Wadau please give me a retweet and help guys see my new flyer 🙏

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Haha, niggas will tell you"sawa nimeskia "just so you can stop talking 😂 And they won't do shit about what you've told them 😑

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Kenyan men treating everyone right but us.. Their women. 😂😂😂

eatingwithmarbz

@Marbz_S

5 years

Congolese and Kenyan men💕 Yum 😋

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

4 years

Longest phone call you've ever had ni?

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Mtu akikupea keys za kwake means you can go there anytime you want ama ni za incase apoteze zake?? 😂😂

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

4 years

Si Mretweet tupate za rent wadau 😤😤

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Mtu akiwa Munchies everything huwa tamu manze. Unaweza kula chapo na nduma na hata hutanyongwa😂😂

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

If this appears on your TL,please Retweet:) 3-bedroom : Sh5,000 2-bedroom: Sh3,500 1-bedroom: Sh2,700 Bedsitter: Sh2,000 Our services are offered within Nairobi. #IkoKaziKE

Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Nani anajua someone who might need fumigation services?Kunguni,cockroaches,mosquitoes and all those

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Multiple streams of income.

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Imagine dropping all your hoes because you think you found love 😂😂😂?!!

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

If someone tells you to tell them when you get home, then fucking tell them when you get home!!

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

1 year

Wishing anyone looking for a job and those in business a ridiculous breakthrough. Don't give up🤞

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Multiple streams of income this year 🙏 Speaking it into existence.

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Nobody: Skinny niggas :

𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕊𝕦𝕘𝕒

@Valleriemuthoni

5 years

Huyu anadhani hii ni mchezo??

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Dame akivaa trouser ya buttons 3 akikuja kwako plus na belt..she made her decision about you kitambo. 😂😂

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Do niggas actually get any pleasure from eating pussy? Ama you do it cos you know she likes it?

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@chapo_ndengu

4 years

Men, are you the wallet carrying type ama pesa ni ya mfuko?

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Smashing and ignoring each other on the TL>>>>

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Unemployment fucks with your psychology bro

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Niggas with money be mad surprised when they are rejected. Lmao

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

First borns think they swam with the crocodiles to pave way for the other siblings.Ptho!!

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Feed her and eat her.

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Niggas act gangsta until you hug them,anakushikilia tightly kama the big baby he is. 😂😂😭😭

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

I can't wait to hear the way Berlin pronounces Nairobi's name again!! Orgasms tupu 😭😭😭

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Have you ever been invited out by a nigga and you refuse because unajua hakuna financial stability?? 😂😂 Mnaeza chonga waru ka nonsense 😂😂

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Skinny niggas when a BBW throwing it back 😂😂😂😂

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Thick thighs saving lives and everything else but our jeans 😭😭

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Nani anajua someone who might need fumigation services?Kunguni,cockroaches,mosquitoes and all those

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

If your still single remember you ugly and no one wants you😂😂

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Return my phone with the same brightness I gave you on.Pls.

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

If you still single in February you ugly and no one wants you. 😂

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@chapo_ndengu

2 years

If this appears on your TL please RT🤞 Your re-tweet literally helps me find my clients 🙏

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Aijajaja Where do I sign autographs??? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Maina Kageni

@ItsMainaKageni

6 years

Funniest thing I've seen today!! 😂😂😂 @chapo_ndengu

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Niggas huku hata don't consider the fact that some girls might be friends😂😂😂.Unakatia tu both females same day halafu wanaongea and they find themselves talking about the same nigga..lmaaaao

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Conductors stage when they see you approaching..

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Kikuyus think kyuk is a national language or something. They'll talk it to you anywhere. Lol

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Sex bila attachments is not for everyone. Don't give yourself High blood pressure, be that romantic that you are pls.

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Peana before ukufe kwa war hata haikuhusu.

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Body count back to sufuuuuuri 😂😂

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

4 years

Wadau, si Ukipatana Na hii Piga RT and help me secure the bag 💪

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Ukikunywa kama umeketi Halafu usimame 😂😂

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Maboy mliacha kuombana nyumba? 😂

dreyfus

@Dreymwangi

5 years

Madem waliacha kuombana nguo?😂

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

1 year

Hey guys, my name is Linet and I own and run @Toa_Dudu which is a cleaning and fumigation company. I'm on the verge of losing my business guys and I'm begging you all to please help save it. (THREAD) @_CrazyNairobian @Osama_otero @osoroKE @NjeriMuchina2 @Dreymwangi @KhalifKairo

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Wanaume wa "money over bitches "hata hawakuangi na either of those things 😂😂

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

6 years

The girl who tweeted "He calls you cupcake and treats you like a KDF" really spoke to my heart 😣

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Huyu ananijua kweli ama ananiskianga tu?!!!

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

6 years

Females we go looking for our own heartbreaks 😂😂 Unaangalia simu yake kwa sababu you think ni motivational quotes unaenda kupata ama??

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Mathogothanio

@chapo_ndengu

5 years

Look me in the eye and tell me you ain't cheating His cheating ass:

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@chapo_ndengu

6 years

The guy I'm seated with,I really felt like he was about to say hello, halafu nikaanza kukohoa out of nowhere.. He just slid back to his seat. Sasa this fine man thinks I have TB or something .Amevaa earphones hadi 😭😭😭 Niggas are trash 😂😂

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@chapo_ndengu

5 years

When the strokes aren't what he promised and you start wondering nini ilikutoa kwenu :