Kivali 🇵🇸 @chammy_255 Twitter profile

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@koleksi_baruu

@BasedEmbraced

@123Opik73244

@BinorRaja

Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

2 years

It doesn't even matter if you've never been to Kenya. @Trevornoah go collect your child!

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

The fact that Rosenberg, a white man, is correcting Ebro, a black man, about African names is doing my head in.

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

As far as African countries go, Tanzania really moves like it's God's last born 😂

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

2 years

@Sumeya25411 @Trevornoah 😂😂😂 we're not even listening to the mother anymore 😂 that's Trevor Jr.

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

2 years

@NailanteiNgure @Trevornoah Even if it's not, it is 😂

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

Your team literally qualified because another team was disqualified. Sielewi umetoa wapi ujasiri wa kuuliza hili swali

Droid

@droid254

5 years

How did Tanzania qualify for this?

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

6 years

I'm straight and I've never bonded with my dad over my love for pussy. You'll be alright

GOOD JOB TRÉ🍊⚜️

@Tre_Potts

6 years

I wouldnt disown my son if he was gay.. das alittle too far but how do you bond with your son If he is?

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

Zile kelele za ku-hustle juu chini ili uvuke border zilikua kigeugeu

Swahili Times

@swahilitimes

5 years

Mbunge wa Kenya, @RealJaguarKenya amesema ujumbe wake alioutoa jana hauihusu #Tanzania wala #Uganda , bali aliwalenga raia wa #China waliovamia masoko yao na kufanya biashara kuwa ngumu. Aidha, watu wamepinga utetezi huo, kwani alisikika akizitaja nchi hizo za Afrika Mashariki.

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

@Of_High_Status @ugh95020297 @EpicGam02001170 @Nicaabae @DoesntMatter612 @LILAVYVERT You're being dense on purpose 😂 it's Eurasia

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

@Aisha_layi @blessing_ab15

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

6 years

Are you as tall as that IST?

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

2 years

Muting this for now because the notifications are going brazy... but please hit me up when Trevor responds 😅

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

1 year

@fawnedmuffin Bora umesema wewe 😂 anyways, she's 12 and probably music (or dancing) isn't her thing

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

6 years

@Mideoludayo @iamHighDee @deeeyahhh @lemonadenormani @drizzy_ace I'm not Nigerian but I had to read this with the accent to get it 😂

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

@zombieONsnow @whitneyhousus I get why she's upset, but you also need to understand that a lot of these market vendors can't really afford better conditions for the animals. That cage is the most cost effective way for him to bring as many chickens as possible and make the most money for him and his family

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

Really happy for the both of you. All the best Coco & Denge ❤

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

Dear African Americans, If your wondering why there aren't that many protests in African cities at the moment, it's because our own police can do way more damage to us and none of you will hear a word of it. We are with you in spirit though ❤ Regards, Africans in Africa

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

Is marriage basically just finding a woman who can treat you the way your mum did when you were a toddler?

MSITA

@Msita__

3 years

Raha Ya Kuoa Wanawake Wanne

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

It's really niggas out here taking loans to buy iPhones? 😭

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

I need someone to explain NFTs to me like a child 😭

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

2 years

Shout out to Eliud Kipchoge for always waving our Tanzanian flag 🇹🇿 high. Umetuinua sana wabongo wenzako 🙏🏿

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

Dear Kenyans, One day we'll need to sit down and have a serious chat about why you're so obsessed with your oppressor's language. Kama mnawapenda sana, I hear Prince Harry is on the hunt for a job right now. Mfanyeni awe mfalme wenu. Regards, Proud Swahili Speakers

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

My friend, you stumbled upon this snake. You didn't discover anything

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

In Tanzania we don't say "can I have money?" we say "Sasa unaniachaje, Boss?" and I think that's brilliant

Maisha Madrugada

@WirthMaisha

4 years

In Kenya we dont say “you’re tripping” we say “JIHESHIMU NANI” and I think that’s beautiful.

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

I've seen a few of this man's speeches, and I honestly think this is the only candidate whose campaign strategy is InShaAllah and vibes 😂

Gasto Di Genaro

@gastodigenaro

4 years

"Muda tuliopoteza mashuleni kufundisha LOGARITHM, ni bora tungefundisha tu Kubeti" - Hashim Rungwe, mwenyekiti wa CHAUMA. Chama kinachokwenda kuchukua dola mwaka huu.

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

Wait! Did Diamond say we were colonized by Arabs & Indians? We deserve better 😭

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

Also, what's the correlation btn skin color and the ratchetness of one's name?

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

2 years

The faces 🤝🏿 the flag

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

6 years

Better tourist destinations? Fam, we don't even do our own promos 😂 just switch over to NatGeo and you'll hear some british guy narrate "... and the remaining critters of the Savannah stare in awe as Kiku the lion chases its prey into scenic Serengeti sunset..."

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

1 year

See joy 🥹

Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

1 year

Jamaa yuko serious kabisa kumbe 🤔

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

2 years

Me when she's asking for the post-work nut 😭

TerrorChris🇯🇲🇯🇲

@Da1nOnlyCMart

2 years

I'll pass lol. Nothing about this sounds enticing.

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

Islam is so beautiful though ❤

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

Mimi kwa kweli there is no way I'm going to spend millions on my daughter's education only for to think her role in life is to end up as someone else's son's personal maid. Bora wamrudishe kwangu tu

Momo🎀

@monicaalphonce

5 years

binti kama unafikiria kua mke tafadhali jua kazi za nyumbani apart from that utarudishwa tuu. Msiseme sikuwaambia siku atasema leo sili chakula alichopika dada... hawa watu ni Wafalme by nature.

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

Lol, nah, this is actually embarrassing 😂 how do you compare an Oscar winning actress to the chick who basically plays the same character (dada mzuri anaependwa na stering) in every bongo movie?

EXPERT ESSAY HELP | ASSIGNMENT HELP, ACADEMIC HELP

@KeishaEssays

5 years

🇹🇿 Actress VS 🇰🇪 actress

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

Did she tell you she wants to trend?

MY | ESSAY WRITER | RESEARCH/OMEWORK HELP

@BiancaEssays

3 years

This will not trend because she is not naked 💔.

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

2 years

@SaycheeseDGTL Maybe she just wasn't a good enough actress? I feel like he pulled some strings to get her the audition, but if she's not a good fit then she's not a good fit. Nepotism needs you to recommend people who you know are capable of delivering good quality work

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

6 years

Ila kingereza bwana 😂 ukisoma haraka haraka unaeza ukadhani anaongelea breakfast moja 5 star, kumbe ni mkate uliopakwa blueband na asali 😂😂😂

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

Are you an early bird, au unaishi mbali tu, bro?

∆bby Mêxæhnk Msangi

@Abbymexahnk

4 years

Early Birds Roll Call 😊

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

@Lilly South Asians 🤝🏾 black folk Agreeing she had no business making this

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

Straight men in TZ are more interested in gay men than gay men are

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

Shout out to @Abbymexahnk . This guy has helped more millenials find jobs than any local politician I can think of, and his efforts should not go unnoticed. Mungu akubariki, kaka 🙏🏿

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

This woman once put poison in food she was cooking and tasted it after to make sure it was just right. Hollywood is yet to produce a character evil enough for her to play

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

The way our roads are set up? They'll only be furious, not fast

Yomatornawo

@Yomatornawo

3 years

The Fast and furious franchise has gone everywhere including space but not Africa.

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

Each and every single person here will now have to start a whole new life from scratch. This is real life, man 💔

ian bremmer

@ianbremmer

3 years

Inside a US transport taking off from Kabul. Extraordinary.

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

@FreshCutFry @TwitterLive @Twitter This is them acknowledging that Black Twitter has made a significant contribution to Twitter Twitter

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

I personally would never wear a whole suit in church because of Dar's heat, but if he's comfortable who am I to judge?

Camila Gant 🇯🇲 🇯🇲 🇯🇲 🇯🇲 🇯🇲

@Camille96573510

5 years

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

2 years

The niggas saying "Kwa hio unaona ni vizuri mtoto kulelewa bila Baba yake" are the same ones that think fatherhood is sending your BM upkeep allowances every other month and posting WhatsApp statuses of their kids with the caption "My purpose ❤️" on Sundays

Ben🇹🇿 

@BenKatwiga

2 years

Tumefikia huku wajameni....🚮🚮🙄

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

2 years

Chugga is the colloquial word for Arusha, a city in Tanzania. Kipchoge = Keep Chugga As in "Keep Chugga" close to your heart ❤️ Tanzania's very own does wonders again 🇹🇿

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

Lol, this country is shameless. We do nothing to support athletes that are proudly Tanzanian and want to represent us internationally, but are quick to claim success of TZ natives representing other countries. Congrats to the gifted Malaika Mihambo. You've made Germany proud!

millardayo

@millardayo

3 years

✍️ @Lameckditto

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

*Zoom meeting with colleagues in the US* Them: So Sam where are you based exactly? Me: Dar es Salaam.... Tanzania Them: Oh that's great! I've been to Cape Town Me:

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

This March is a January in disguise wallahi 😕

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

2 years

@ajplus "Forcibly took"

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

By Tanzanian standards this performance is a solid 5/10. Lol, but their english is good though, right?

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

My mum has begged me to stop tweeting about politics 😭 So out of respect, I'd like to start discussing things that would give her more peace of mind *clears throat* Fat chicks have top tier pussy and their head game is better than any of these flat tummy tea babes. Come we fight

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

2 years

For the Morocco Vs France game I'm obviously rooting for the team with the most Africans. Interpret this as you please

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

6 years

"Depressed? Unaishi kwenye nyumba nzuri, unakula chakula kizuri kimeungwa na nazi, umesoma shule nzuri. Hio depression umetolea wapi? Enzi zetu tulikua tunasoma kwa shida, tunatembea kilometer 100 kila siku kwenda shule, tunalala chumba kimoja familia nzima kwenye sakafu...."

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

There is no species more deprived of love and affection like the Tanzanian woman. Small small acts of kindness are seen as grand romantic gestures. We need to do better.

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

Ladies, let's normalize sending men money.

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

6 years

Girls on this app will tweet about football all day but will still ask you "Lacazette ndio nani hapo" while watching Man Utd vs West Ham

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

Kuna mtu kauliza kama we ni mjukuu wa Julius au Steve 😂

J U J U 🇹🇿

@Julianyerere

4 years

People be like nipo Sinza Madukani nakutumia location, njoo. Girl, I don’t know where that is. 😭 The only places i know well zipo Mikocheni na Msasani. Hayo mambo ya kuweka location kwenye GPS alafu unapelekwa kwenye barabara ambayo imefungwa miaka mitatu iliopita sitaki.

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

TANESCO should consider having this as their new slogan 😭

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

Every time my dad wants to tell me "You dumb as fuck" he starts with "Sikiliza, we umesoma shule nzuri..." 😂

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

Hii siku tuitumie kuwakumbuka watanzania wote waliofungwa on trumped up charges, waliofariki kwa kovidi because hatukuchukua tahadhari, waliotekwa, kupotezwa na kuuliwa kwa kuhoji na kukosoa. Let's remember the true legacy please 😊

Princely H. Glorious 🇹🇿

@thisisprincely

4 years

🙏🏾 Mungu ibariki Tanzania 🇹🇿 I hope we shall make March 17 Magufuli Day To remember all that was good and strong and effective about a man who loved this country and put Tanzania’s interests first Mungu ibariki Africa 🇹🇿

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

2 years

She's not lying. The number of Europeans ninao wajua ambao wameacha maisha yao huko kuja kuanza upya Bongo inakua kila siku. Mtu anakuambia "I booked a one way flight to Tanzania. I don't really have a plan but I want to make this my home" na wanatoboa

🦁𝐁 𝐈 𝐇 𝐄 𝐌 𝐎 ™

@CharlieBihemo

2 years

Aiseee 😳

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

Today, our friend @IdrisSultan is going to be spending his Eid in a cell for trying to make us all laugh during these trying times. Given that we have been blessed to have Eid fall on a Sunday, I urge all Muslims and Christians to keep him in their prayers today #FreeIdrisSultan

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

Road to 2022

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

I don't know how to say this to you, but no self respecting woman agrees to be someone's girl after a few messages like that. You sir, are about to be finessed by a 34 year old man from Ogun State in Nigeria

ARMANDO

@agustino_amando

5 years

THREAD 👇 Leo baada ya mishe mishe za hapa na pale nikaona ngoja nimsuport ndugu yangu @LusakoWaKwanza Actually at the end it was boom 💥 Thanks to @LusakoWaKwanza 😂🙏 Now I have a Nigerian girl 🙌

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

I love how Mama keeps giving women opportunities in positions of leadership. Big congrats to Zuhura Yunus, we love to see it!

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

6 years

You have no game unless you've successfully flirted with someone in swahili and actually hooked up with them

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

So I boarded this Auric flight to Znz, and I was the only black person on board. Some white lady akasema "Guys, I hope we're all going to keep our masks on during the flight" and- Tell me why everyone turned to looked at me like they're not the ones more likely to get ME sick

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

Dear God, I've never cheated on any of the women I've been with before, but it is my trash friends who sleep with everything that moves that you continue to bless with happy relationships. What are you telling me, Baba?

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

You Kenyans love bragging about how well you were colonized

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

7 years

@JuniorSmwl @Shabanimavocha @TunduLissu Kwani haruhusiwi na yeye kua na maoni kama shabiki? Mnazingua. Wanasiasa ni binadamu pia kama mimi na wewe

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

2 years

Buy from @its_mubah

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

Mnaosema "wanawake wamezidi ikulu" mlikua mnalalamika hivi wanaume walivyokua wamezidi?

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

When you directly ask someone for money instead of saying "Sasa unaniachaje, mkuu?"

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

Deep this, despite being the first country in the region to gain independence, today our country's biggest exports to our neighbours are corona patients and Diamond Platnumz's children 🤦🏿‍♂️

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

Me and a few other Tanzanians at this hotel I'm staying at have been offered a free lunch as condolences for our loss😭

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

Me: Are you single? Her: No, but it's not that serious You see why Dar's dating scene gives me anxiety??? What does this even mean?

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

Hii shule iko wapi? You deserve a raise

Joyce Kiango

@JoyceMwalimu

4 years

Asubuhi tunakunywa maziwa ya #Tangafresh Yananifanya niwe na mbinu tofauti tofauti za kufundishia watoto wangu na pia huwafanya wanangu wawe wasikivu na wenye uchangamfu mda wote

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

Bought my pre-diabetic mum an Air Fryer from @tunzaaHQ because I know this mchemsho life is getting depressing for her. Thanks a lot, guys. Will be sharing what I whip up in the kitchen with this beast

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

I really wish we had documented more about our traditional beliefs before deciding it is all witchcraft. It doesn't make sense that I know more about Norse and Greek gods than I do about the ones my own ancestors prayed to

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

2 years

Is there a place where I can rate my doctors? The service I've gotten at Saifee Hospital these last few weeks has been top notch ❤️

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

@MalaikaLaVish @Kevinbankz1 @JakiraMou @RapAllStars But where in Africa? You have to understand how frustrating it is for us when y'all just generalize the whole continent like we don't have individual states with their own unique identities

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

2 years

Most people want to raise their kids in comfort. This whole "I suffered as a child so my kids can do the same too" mindset is why generational wealth is a myth in Africa.

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

1 year

Kila nafsi itaonja character development

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

Because cooking is only a woman's job when it's not profitable

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@KneeNjure

3 years

from observation, why is ‘chipsi mayai’ a male dominated business?

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

@LickshotLippy

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

6 years

Chai ya rangi is the most uninspiring drink to start your day with. Its like giving up before the day even starts

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

YOU 👏🏿 DON'T 👏🏿 HAVE 👏🏿 TO 👏🏿 BE 👏🏿 AMERICAN 👏🏿 OR 👏🏿 IN 👏🏿 THE 👏🏿 UNITED 👏🏿 STATES 👏🏿 TO SUPPORT 👏🏿 #BlackLivesMatter

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

Are people telling @YourFrenchFry their deepest darkest secrets because Coco has always had a trustworthy personality, or do we all just have a ton of baggage and are looking for space and people to open up to?

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

We'd have won if @PatrickAussems was here. Just saying

Simba Sports Club

@SimbaSCTanzania

5 years

Mchezo umekwisha. #DarDerby #VPL #NguvuMoja

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50

805

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

3 years

Dear Friends, If any institution is asking you to give them your money for any investment purposes, please make sure they are recognized by a regulatory authority IN TANZANIA! As old school as you think BOT or CMSA is, these mfs don't play around when it comes to oversight

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32

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

This is a blatantd lie! Pregnant girls still cannot return to school because of policies you continue to enforce despite your citizens and the international community telling you how wrong they are

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14

93

Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

10 months

As we celebrate our independence today in our beloved country 🇹🇿, let's not forget to pray for the freedom of our long term friends too 🇵🇸

1

55

94

Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

11 months

Our parents used to get managerial jobs for being able to read and write in English

holly

@girlziplocked

11 months

Parents right now are shocked when their kid comes home from college, applies to 300 jobs, doesn’t get a single interview, and then proceeds to give up on life. I dunno, I feel like that’s kind of a rational response? Did Boomers come home from college and face that?

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180K

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

5 years

Kuna kitu kinaitwa purchasing power, and that is relative to the economy you're in. You can't do much with $44 in the US, but TZS 100,000 is someone's monthly salary and it can feed a whole family in TZ

5

21

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

6 years

@cynnerr I can't imagine my son telling me he wants to marry a woman. I would have failed as a father. Where would I take that shame?

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Kivali 🇵🇸

@chammy_255

4 years

Pet appreciation thread anyone? I'll start. Meet my love, Kiki ❤

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