@POTUS
If I learned anything these past two years, never- ever trust the government and the officials. You both been caught lying numerous times. Quit messing with people's lives with this puppeteering propaganda.
Since Netflix is passing on up and coming white male comedians, I’m gonna switch career paths and become a white up and coming male serial killer that abducts and kills white women. This will for sure get me on Netflix!
Comics hanging with this guy and pretending he's talent makes me embarrassed to be a comic. This blob Jelly Roll sucks as a recording artist and any real comedian would make fun of him.
Joey
@madflavor
Diaz has the biggest heart and biggest balls in the game. He's 100% authentic - mistakes and all. Cancel your arrogance before you even THINK about coming at this living fucking legend you cocksuckas.
I don’t care about the Oscars but Steven Brody Stevens better be in the “In Memoriam" tonight. All you A-listers In Hollywood that tweeted about him better use your connections and make it happen!
#Oscar2019
#BrodyStevens
I am devastated, hurt & in denial. Brody was not only a great friend but made me laugh harder than anyone. I always hear about the great comics passing but I was never close with them. R.I.P. Brody, my thoughts and prayers are w/ his mom, sister, and friends.
#brodystevens
Just for the record, if you say “DILLY DILLY” to me in person, I’ll will punch you right in the face, get arrested, lawyer up, take a plea bargain, and pay a fine and court cost happily.
I am becoming more angry as I get older and it’s because of shit like this. This isn’t good for anyone and for anyone celebrating this, watch your back...WE ARE ALL IN TROUBLE!
Hey Chris Titus, Shane Gillis is 11 years into his career & you’re a vet that has had many breaks in your career. Just imagine if vet comics like Gary Shandling, Robin Williams, etc. piled on u when you got your first break & it was taken away. BTW, can u explain this old tweet
A comic texted me saying I should take my tweet down about Pete Davidson? What happened to comics? I got into this when we were degenerates, boozebags, ball busters & shit talkers. Now comics are scared, smoking pot all day, pretending to like UFC hoping Rogan might have them on
The Browns didn't give us anything to celebrate the last 3 years so I say Clevelanders should go ahead & celebrate the 0-16 season with a parade as the Browns continue to defy math in every way. Good on
@Reflog_18
Don't let the organization get away with this any longer
#Browns
A girl at the gym was wearing a Guns N Roses shirt and I told her that I liked her shirt. She responded “I have a boyfriend” I laughed out loud and said “you’re gonna die alone” ...was that too much? I think that was the proper arc of the conversation.
Every Pete Davidson story I hear is about him getting his feelings hurt. He could make a great spokesperson for
@Tampax
if SNL doesn’t work out.
(Pete, if you’re reading this, I hope it hurts your feelings)
Thanks
@alexstein99
for having me as your guest today! Most of all thank you for driving me 3.2 miles past authentic Dallas BBQ and Steak houses for all your can eat Salad and Bread at the
@olivegarden
I take the same 10 mile bike ride daily to downtown Tampa. 10 min ago I met the legend himself
@RicFlairNatrBoy
WOOOOOOO! Great way to start a Tuesday!
I live in the United States of America and I am the very first person to ever get fired from a podcast because of Patton Oswald’s twitter influence. People got scared because of his followers tweeting hateful things so I got kicked off a podcast. How fucked up is that?
Shout out
@JoeListComedy
who has done it all as a comedian. He has the respect of his peers, kills on stage the right way, married a hilarious comic & is humble as shit. Joe is good for comedy and as much as I talk shit, I give props to the comics that deserve it.
#Respect
They're are so many amazing parts about this sketch that I don't even know where to start? I guess I'll start with Pete putting zero effort into doing an impression of Joe Rogan. The bald head is where all the effort stopped, including the writing. Truly embarrassing.
The hypocrisy & bullshit from this guy made my life a living hell earlier this year. I literally watched comics turn on me because he tried to bring me down twisting words and the narrative to his “woke” following. Now he’s trying to fuck with Shane Gillis? He’s not one of us.
Stuttering John claims he's a headliner but there is ZERO actual evidence of him doing stand up anywhere on YouTube. Since he tries to discredit me any chance he gets, I challenge
@stutteringjohnm
to follow me or do a a 10min set before my "headlining" set at
@BocaBlackBox
Girls are posting on social media when they just went through a break up “I Got This” and their friends “like” the status and post, “You Got It Girl”
Here’s the thing...You don’t got it! He dumped you because you never had it! You were burden and now you’re gonna die alone.
Every single sketch and Weekend Update Norm did on SNL is still better than anything they have done on SNL the last 5 years and they fired him.
#RIPNormMacDonald
I'm moving back out to Los Angeles in two days and I'm currently in the mirror practicing saying "I LOVED YOUR NETFLIX SPECIAL" just in case I run into anyone.
I GOT MY TWITTER BACK!!! This whole process has been a complete nightmare, luckily a lot of friends and fans went to bat for me. Still don’t have my name
@chadzumock
or my verification back
@TwitterLA
but I got my account back. What happened was a crime, and I’m pressing charges
Good morning! Somebody was arrested at 6:14am this morning after a weekend literal "GET AWAY"
No "GOAL" has been set yet today... More on this later today.
#TMZumock
Hey
@OpieRadio
just thank Anthony, Jim, Louie, Patrice, Rogan, Burr for making you a millionaire in a dying Industry. Your narcissistic personality disorder is getting the best of you and you should be celebrating the last years of your life. You completely fuck over the fans.
Remind SJ I didn’t trash him on the show last night. I did say he’s exhausting which is something I would gladly say to his face. After he shook me down for $1300 while paying me no money in return to be his 1st guest on his show I never wanted to be on, I’m fine being his enemy
There are two sides to every story in a feud and I always defended the underdog during pile-ons. However, the past 2 weeks that changed after being held hostage and manipulated by Stutjo. All the rumors are true about him & all all pile-ons are warranted. He is a terrible person.
Thank you for attacking me for months straight
@AaronImholte
without a rebuttal from me. Your persistency in hopes to impress
@Whoarethepod
@AnthonyCumia
and
@ChrissieMayr
not only backfired, it woke me to help your world crumble and become the biggest clown show on the internet.
Looking to commission someone for a new logo and video intro to
#SitDownZumock
-Look for high quality on both ends. DM me me on Patreon or IG with your past work.
So brave to come out against Norm while his corpse is currently waiting to be embalmed after a 9 year private battle with cancer. I watched 7min of your open mic comedy on YouTube & it STINKS! Must be cool to be a CUNT who tries to CANCEL icons 24hrs after they died from cancer🖕
I always loved Norm MacDonald and was excited to meet him. Since I’m not a male comedian I don’t have a fun picture or memory with him, just another story about being sexually harassed. Must be cool to be a male who does comedy 😎
A comedian friend
@RayDeVito
was hit by a semi-truck while driving to a gig (Hit and run) Ray suffered a collapsed lung, broken rib, spine fracture & a concussion. He can't work and has a lot of bills to cover. Help out!
I am losing followers by the assload for coming out against LeBron and I stand by it. I've followed this dude's career since he was 14 and have met him twice. I just call out hypocrisy when I see, and he is ruining the sport I once loved. LeBron is a PAWN in the Hollywod game.
If a comic is busting balls and pointing out that you have a temper, throw them up against the wall and put them into a choke hold.
#GulManTips
#FightNow
This man was not only one of my comedic idols but he changed my comedy career giving me one of the greatest intros ever on live TV. His intro alone got me headlining clubs I’ve only dream about at the time. So much more to say & I’ll do that in time like so many others
#RIPNorm
Whoever taped Louis CK’s new material that he is still working on and put it out online is a piece of garbage. For everyone judging a comic working “ideas” out, you should probably do the world a favor and drink a gallon of Clorox while duct taped to a chair inside a house fire.