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Captain Willard’s Cigarette Profile
Captain Willard’s Cigarette

@capn_willard

629
Followers
890
Following
999
Media
16,188
Statuses

Independent Classical Liberal - GenX - Big fan of the US constitution. Frequently bemused, sometimes outraged, always curious. To thine own self be true.

Joined May 2022
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Pinned Tweet
@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
7 days
@DavidJHarrisJr It's strange how they try to dissuade based on *their* criteria ... I don't need someone in office who looks like me, or comes from my background. It's completely irrelevant. I need someone who respects the constitution and is up to the job.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@conservmillen ACTUAL corruption of the sitting US president that his party tried to remove the last president for looking into? They spent Trump's entire term throwing one fabricated charge after another, desperately trying to cover THEIR corruption. That's a big f-ing deal.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
1 year
@PatsyannClark2 @BehizyTweets WTF do recounts have to do with it? If I give you 100 counterfeit dollars, you can count them till you drop, they’re still fake.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@levantinewitch Ah, the old “I hit a nerve” … the rallying cry of Cluster B disordered fucknuts everywhere.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@sciam Oh, I forgot. We changed the definition of “science” in the last few years, too.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@EdKrassen @PeteButtigieg Don’t you sometimes wish you didn’t have to traffic in falsehoods?
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 months
@DrunkRepub The “tell” with all of their ham-handed tactics is that they try to appeal to us on the same levels that work with the sheep. “Oh, they’re just like me! I feel seen. And that’s more important than policy or logic.” - None of the voters they’re trying to reach.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
9 months
@ClayTravis Why are you not talking about this?
@bennyjohnson
Benny Johnson
9 months
🚨 BREAKING: Jeff DeWit to resign as Arizona Republican Party chair after recording revealed he offered Kari Lake a bribe not to run for Senate. It’s time for him to name names.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 months
@politico This is the second @politico headline I’ve seen today that amounts to: “Trump tries to point out an obvious truth we’ve been pretending not to know.”
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
9 months
@AmiriKing Meanwhile:
@gatewaypundit
The Gateway Pundit
9 months
BREAKING: Professor and Election Expert J. Halderman Hacks into Dominion Voting Machine Tabulator in Court on Friday in Georgia in front of Judge Totenberg USING ONLY A PEN TO CHANGE VOTE TOTALS via @gatewaypundit
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@EricAbbenante I don’t want to get my hopes up, but we could be looking at the beginning of the end for the modern Democrat party.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@matthewstoller I’m going to try this on my next job hunt. “We’d like to schedule an inter—“ “Not necessary. I believe my cover letter and CV covers what I bring to the table.” “But … you crossed out most of your work histo—“ “Excuse me, I am talking! Now, when do I start?”
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@nancyayoussef There are contexts in which that distinction is meaningful. This isn’t one of them.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@michaelmalice I don’t realize how much I dislike these two until I saw them together
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
1 year
@SocialistMMA I think it’s bigger than that. The US/NATO plan for Ukraine was put into motion around 2012. The coup, the civil war, the corruption … Trump interrupted all of that. The way they folded all of their anti-Trump actions into the ongoing scheme was pretty clever, honestly.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@alexhoneker “Global engagement”? That’s a gross way to describe a series of coups, open-ended military interventions and regime change. Every one of them sold to US taxpayers under false pretenses, and that’s just the ones they tell us about. Nah. Step away from trying to defend that.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 months
@TheOnion Holy shit, what is wrong with you?
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
4 months
@TheAtlantic @brianklaas The second best time to stop gaslighting is now.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
4 months
@GeneforTexas You’re done.
@SarahisCensored
Sarah Fields
4 months
This is a Texas House Representative. He should be removed from his position effective immediately.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
11 days
@davidsiders @adamwren @politico Thank you all for proving that it’s easier to fool someone than convince they’ve been fooled, but it’s getting tiresome. You were played. It happens. Usually not for eight years, but whatever. You don’t have to like Trump, but you DO have to face the fact that most of what
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@liz_churchill8 JFC … “20 years of science…” meaning mRNA has been studied as a *concept* for 20 years. And that’s just the delivery mechanism. There is nothing about those injections that could be described as anything but experimental. Except maybe the syringe.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
9 months
@mattyglesias @DasenBil You can repeat that all night if it makes you feel better. You’re not persuading anyone.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@buttonslives This was one of the things that bothered me most. They quietly erased effeminate men and masculine women, in the name of diversity.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
1 year
@SeanGatton @mirandadevine It had f*cking better.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 months
@jaketapper This you?
@JackPosobiec
Jack Poso 🇺🇸
4 months
Here is Jake Tapper in 2017 falsely reporting the Russiagate dossier was corroborated A man shot up a Congressional baseball practice over these lies Be a shame if this went viral today right before he hosts the debate
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@VICE I was told repeatedly that no one was saying things like this. That it was a right wing straw man.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@engineers_feed At least half of the federal government.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
1 year
@stillgray I’ll never get used to “Weird Al” without the mustache.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@RVAwonk I only ever hear about QAnon from Democrats.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
22 days
@credenzaclear2 When your wife is a pregnant virgin, some additional guidance is needed, yes.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
10 months
Trump
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Haley
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Ramaswamy
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@nypost I am *really* curious how they could even make that claim.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@StevieVanZandt @elonmusk I will never understand how boomer rockers became such incurious cheerleaders for the establishment.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
8 months
@jaksonhinkle @stillgray What if I told you obvious propaganda like this is counterproductive? Meaning, watching this obviously staged effort makes me think Russia is *less* authoritarian than I’ve been told. You seriously need to make better choices.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 months
@DavidMuir @JoeBiden These are long debunked, and you’re letting them sail past you. You’re going to have to address this and explain yourself.
@WesternLensman
Western Lensman
2 months
Kamala rattles off a series of debunked hoaxes — fine people, bloodbath, etc. ABC: Zero fact checks.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 months
@mattyglesias It is MUCH more fascinating how the rest of you became fine with endless war, censorship, government surveillance and overt corporate corruption. Liberals are still against those things.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
1 year
@Humming_birder @NBCNews Well, Biden’s just the one that got caught. LOT of hands in that cookie jar.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
1 year
@BethRigby It’s not just that he’s tired. He can not be allowed to speak extemporaneously.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
9 months
@hodgetwins I have *never* seen a pro-Haley tweet in the wild. Not one, even on her own posts. It’s like she only bought the “likes” package at the bot-shop.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@wideawake_media He’s right. They don’t have much time.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
1 year
@RebeccaAVelo @HelenWebberley The trans community is the only group of people whose overwhelming whiteness is ignored.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
1 year
@ChrisDJackson I’ll take the one who knows where he is at any given moment.
@Suzy_1776
suzy
1 year
He has no idea what is going on!
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@ramz_ramazani @hodgetwins Well, that's a relief. So JK Rowling and Dave Chapelle just imagined all the grief of the last few years? Because last I checked, if you accept trans women and support their right to live as they choose, but fall short of affirming them as literally women, you're a transphobe.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
1 year
@RollingStone I’m old enough to remember when RS was more than a Dollar Store @thedailybeast Hunter Thompson and PJ O’Rourke are rolling in their graves.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@TulsiGabbard @BobLonsberry I’ve tried really hard not to weigh in, but … Why is it transphobic to say trans women aren’t actually women? Why did the activists decide on a logically and scientifically impossible end goal?
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@OwenGregorian Holy crap, this almost sounds like real journalism. Who’s the author?
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 months
@NormOrnstein @CherylHines It still tickles me that people who smear heretics, demonize their opponents, walk, talk and think in absolute lockstep, shouting down any dissent have the balls to keep flogging the 'cult' trope. To a scientologist, psychiatry is a cult.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
8 months
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 months
@RebeccaYChan Engels and Marx were born into lives of relative comfort and privilege. Good times. They were literally the weak men who created (very) hard times. For millions.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 months
@maggieNYT WTAF is wrong with you? And I’d bet you bottom feeders called every gold star family in frame until you found someone to pimp. Go fuck yourselves.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@EcoSenseNow @MikeHudema And somehow do the mining, processing, manufacture and transportation for those batteries without fossil fuels,
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
8 months
@JayinKyiv @SenSchumer I know something better. I know what WILL be investigated. Every contractor of every NGO between DC and Kyiv.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
1 year
@BarbMcQuade @7StoriesPress Might we assume this is a bit of a “how-to” for aspiring journalists?
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@harryfisherEMTP
Harry Fisher
3 months
Demonic
Tweet media one
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@Txp_RBI_Xctuxl @upstatefederlst I tried this tactic with meetings at work, but they still have them and occasionally invite me.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@JebraFaushay Marilyn Manson nailed this look in the Mechanical Animals era.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@ericgrant @ScottAdamsSays Was this supposed to be a dunk of some sort?
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
8 months
@stevenmazie @rickhasen The entire point was that a state court tried to do something unconstitutional and got smacked down 9-0 Why do you hacks insist on burying yourselves? Take the L.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@CatoInstitute Wait wait … why did you try to sneak ‘woman’ in there? Dee Dee Myers was appointed 30 years ago and several women since. How does this cynical woke scoring work anyway? Is it like bowling?
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@Shyamyat2 @FreeRosedark It just hit me. You guys think communism means living on a commune.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
1 year
@KanekoaTheGreat For a long time, Joe seemed to stop short of these blunt (but truthful) assessments. I never thought less of him, but I’m glad he got over that.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
9 months
@JackPosobiec @RealHickory Well he’s obviously saying Biden *can’t* do that as a straw man of Trumps immunity arguments. And has the gall to say that *we* don’t understand that anything we allow a president to do can then be used by the other side. So, things like: - Spying on rival campaigns - Funding
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
4 months
@NateSilver538 The “liberal” base just wants to be assured they’re the good guys. Say the right things, hate the right people, bask in the comfort of knowing the team you picked in high school is still the “correct” one. Anything else confuses them.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@LionelMedia It's been a long time since I could say anything sounded insane. Never thought I'd see the US turn into the USSR and then STILL try to start a war with Russia. Honestly, after the last few years I'm starting to question everything.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
10 months
@TheBabylonBee Did you guys get hacked?
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@trutherlion @MarioNawfal Media likes a split among non-Democrat voters. This should be obvious.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@CenturySentient @CatoInstitute Calling out empty and divisive identity politics propaganda coming from a “libertarian” think tank? What exactly is your point? You’re not still running the tired old “any criticism of our cynical flogging of intersectionality is PROOF of bigotry” program are you?
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@TheAtlantic @KatherineJWu You need to understand that every ridiculous lie you peddle puts *all* of us in real danger.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
8 months
@elonmusk Me in 2022: This crap goes back ten years. 2023: This crap goes back to the 1950s. 2024: This crap is what our constitution was trying to prevent because they'd already recognized these patterns.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@burackbobby_ @seanmdav All else aside, their attempted clarification of role makes it worse. Much worse.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 months
@GlennThrush I wouldn’t hitch my wagon to this egregious performance. @ABC will have to answer for it and explain themselves.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@washingtonpost What is your end game, @washingtonpost ? The cycle of lies and gaslighting is well beyond offensive. Whoever is advising you that this is sustainable or will work out in the end should be fired and you need to start thinking of how you’ll explain yourselves when the time comes.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@RepMikeCollins @BigFish3000 It’s insane. We have no actual president. Best guess is that the country is run by BlackRock and the CIA. Default Democrat voters don’t care, either.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@SaiKate108 @CindyMentele Still can’t believe what they did to Eric Clapton for talking about his actual vax injury.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
8 months
@politico What is wrong with you?
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 months
@elizaorlins @ggreenwald You … you’re serious, aren’t you?
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
1 year
@TheRabbitHole84 Hands up, don’t think.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@laurastoobusy Millennials and some gen x can be forgiven somewhat. They were born into the binary political theater of the 90s through early 2010s. But boomers? You challenged government abuses no matter the party affiliation. You opposed unnecessary war. You were skeptical of ALL authority
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
8 months
@stats_feed Some level of trust in government, media and pharmaceutical companies.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@festive2018 @HillaryClinton These women exploited the poor and unfortunate for a life of fame and riches.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@PollySamson @rogerwaters Thank you for providing this great example of a typical “avalanche of ad hominem” This pattern of attack was very effective about ten years ago. Since then we’ve gone through the stages of overuse, diminishing returns and ultimately, paradox. Do you think it still works?
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@MichaelCrush73 @RpsAgainstTrump The beauty of this is that you think any of it is based in reality. 1) Current Trump supporters are absolutely not swayed by celebrity endorsements. That’s silly. 2) Any “Democrat” who listens to Rogan is only a Democrat until their girlfriend leaves the room.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
8 months
@elleonCEOTK Politics have always been vicious, but I swear before 2012 or so, neither party demonized the *voters* of the other side.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
8 months
@gunsnrosesgirl3 I injured myself just watching this.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@unclelukereal1 @JavonAPrice Hood credentials? Weren’t you a novelty act?
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
1 year
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
10 months
@ElijahSchaffer Is there no one close enough to you to get you to stop embarrassing yourself with this?
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@MediumSizeMeech I don’t get the way people are reading into this. If I had to guess, I’d say he made an inappropriate joke or something stupid and got the standard expected response. It’s a completely normal public couple interaction.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@RealDLHughley @hodgetwins Ah, man. You, too? Jesus it’s like every time I see someone I used to appreciate they’ve turned into pod people.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 years
@BillClinton But many unvaccinated have mild cases and many vaxxed and boosted have died, so ... How do you know the vaccine kept *your* case mild? Bad science puts too much weight on correlation and you don't even really have *that*.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 months
@stillgray I’m out of patience with people like this and I’m afraid I may know some in real life.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
7 months
@nytimes Why the road trip? You could've just asked on the next conference call. This you?
@nytimes
The New York Times
8 years
Missed signals and slow responses let Russia mount a hacking effort to influence the election. A NYT investigation.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
1 year
@jaredcal @ComfortablySmug You know better, but congratulations! Being obscenely disingenuous is working out for a lot of people. Until it doesn’t.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@politico Huh? 1.3M listening right now.
Tweet media one
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@gunsnrosesgirl3 Can’t decide if adorable or terrifying. It’s adorifying.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
3 months
@Simone_Biles @wildethingy Oh, FFS. So you’re dunking on Trump with your “black job” of … *checks notes* … gifted athlete? Cool. Really shattering some stereotypes there. Brave.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 months
@KyleSeraphin @julie_kelly2 I don’t care if she was Obamas campaign chair, she’s done a LOT of work covering the Jan 6 trials when no one else was talking about it. Questions like this, at this moment in time … really? Unless I’m missing some context.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
2 months
@RJCER @NateSilver538 That’s what drove me away from Democrats years ago. You guys have a whole list of current positions which must ALL be adhered to. Contradictions or incompatibilities be damned. Step out on ONE issue and you will be rebuked. That’s weird. And very much like an actual cult.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
8 months
@AP Holy crap you guys are evil.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
8 months
@NobleQAli @nationalpost Been saying this about Chapelle for a while. All my friends said I was weird. Feels good to be validated.
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@capn_willard
Captain Willard’s Cigarette
8 months
@JackPosobiec *cracks open second of many daily Diet Dr Peppers* Wait, what?
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